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[Q] Guinevere Evans - Lieutenant Gypsum [crit/stamp] Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3

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Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:04 am


I was pretty much thinking all the things you put there. ||D DARN YOU 4AM WRITING

I was thinking she needed another hobby. I'll try and come up with one. And as far as soccer goes - I know around here they sometimes have out of school soccer leagues, but you'd have to have parent's permission, so I don't think her mom would be down for that. SO I guess I will write that up in there too. |D

For the retro gear- I don't think she'd wear it out. I'll put that in there too. Both because she doesn't want to damage/lose it, and because she might not be comfortable revealing that much of herself, I guess?

I think I wanted her aimlessness to be more like... That she doesn't have a direction in life, and then I kind of went overboard on it. |D And as far as the DANGERZONE versus Aimlessness, I was thinking more along the lines of, "Why does it matter if I might get hurt?" You know, like, self destructive type of indifference. SO her aimlessness maybe isn't disinterest so much as that she's kind of lost? Like, she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. I think I might turn this into some kind of guilt trait -she feels guilty that she doesn't please her mom and hurts her, guilty about her destructive behavior, guilty about not standing up for herself- a lot of things. ANGST

And her mom and her don't get along well, and that's supposed to put a lot of pressure on her. I guess I should stress that more in the fam section, even though I know that's not on the official profile thing. Dx I was struggling between 'but she's this really agreeable girl' and 'her mom pushes ALL of her buttons'. I wanted her to enjoy getting a rise out of her mom, but be ashamed of it at the same time.

Good point on the virtues affecting her via beliefs. Hmmm. I think that she'd cave to peer pressure- it would add to her general feeling of lack of control in her life, which would tie in to her destructive behavior.


NEGA STUFF

LOL OOPS. ok, I'll um. Just write "ADD TRIM, LOTS OF TRIM somewhere. I knew her outfit looked like it was missing something >_>

and weaknesses for her weapon - well, she has to kick in order to use it, so. It's got a lot shorter range than most melee weapons, and she has to have BOTH legs free and be on an even surface that's well balanced or she'll fall over on her butt. XDD
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:17 am


hee hee. i think all the best works of art come in the early morning. dunno why. 8T

couldnt she get her dads signature ? or does he live far away ?
i got that they were seperated, but how far away is he ?
and for the third hobby, i always end up googling "common hobbies." seriously. thats how i got danny's guitar playing thing xD

i totally get you with the retrogear. i thought that was where you were headed, but i figured id ask anyways. clarifications are AWESOME >8D

AHHHHH. that makes more sense. i was just reading it with a different thought in mind. it definitely works then > uO !

yeah, although its not in the profile, i always think adding an extra section/post is nice, cause then if you come up with an idea, you can jot it down. and i think since a lot of her traits have to do with her mom, a super short bio might be nice. i mean with talia, for her family i just jotted down what they looked like in general and then a sentence about them. nothing too omgwtf so much writing! but enough to suffice for some explanation.

YUP.
in my crit i was like.
oh god im just saying "NEEDZ MOAR TRIM" in fancy language

seriously though, if you dont want trim, it doesnt necessarily need it. some of the negas dont have it, but i always think it looks nice and completes the nega look. ITS YOUR CHOICE THOUGH, REALLY ;;;D8

chiickadee


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:21 am


OH YEAH, her dad. DERRRRR. He doesn't live that far- he's like, across town.

PERHAPS INSTEAD, SHE CAVED TO HER MOM ABOUT THE SOCCER THING, which would go with the cooperative non confrontationalism.

And there's a family post on the first page, I think it's right after the nega post? DID I DELETE IT ON ACCIDENT D8
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:26 am


OH DEAR GOD, HOW DID I MISS THAT FAMILY POST?
SERIOUSLY, ITS LIKE HUGE AND YOU MADE IT ALL NICE OTL.

i am so sorry about that.

well then how does she get her soccer kicks (excuse the pun please) out?
like does she go to the park and just kick the ball around
or maybe she plays at her house when her moms not around?

sorry about all the questions, i just love nitpicking characters to deathhh. OTL

chiickadee


Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:39 am


NO, IT'S A GOOD THING. Otherwise I'd be lazy and never figure these things oooout. @u@

I think she'd probably maybe play at some park near her dad's house, on the 'bad side of town'. OPPORTUNITIES FOR PEER PRESSURE RELATED MISCHIEF, YEAH
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:21 pm


EVERYTHING SHOULD HAVE BEEN UPDATED TO REFLECT CRIT AS OF NOW

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Akina Tokuwa

PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:33 am


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Be careful about making her Captain shoes TOO bladey-bladebladedeathdeath. But this is awesome!
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