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Alrighty~ I'll get to fixing that right away. For now, I'm taking myself off of the critique list so I have EVERYTHING correct. Next time, you wont' find a flaw in names or anything~!

^_^

Hurrr. First off you have some capitalisations where I don't think there should be any. I'm guessing you did that for emphasis, but personally, it looks strange to me xD
Examples are:
it seems that No such thing will happen
Our main Focus around the age of 5-6.

Spelling/ other mistakes!
Do not miss understand, he is, indeed, alive. - misunderstand
a friend who's voice could be heard - whose
to have more than one child, none the less, ones that both - much less? Nonetheless means something completely different : x
Examination upon examination was preformed on Sanoh - were performed
I'll send you the details whilst you sleep - This sounds kinda like he's going to send an email, maybe re-word it?
It was time to fulfill what the spirit from last night taught him to do - not sure fulfill is the right word to use : x
His words had insanity treaded within each syllable - threaded?
but finding that it was too late to even apologize - found
Although he seeked out solitude - sought

Although he seeked out solitude, it would not come easily to him. When family members visited the house, they would often pass nasty comments between each other.
I'm not sure 'solitude' is a good thing to use here. I'm pretty sure he could hide himself somewhere. Solitude as I understand it means 'being alone'. Maybe more of... seeking to be forgiven? It might make more sense in context of his family members making nasty comments. Later on, you say he's afraid of solitude, and that doesn't really match up with this.

Considering he thinks things and represses them, would he have an outlet for it, or would he someday be too overwhelmed and explode? Also, regarding his being selectively mute- is it a conscious effort to be quiet, or would it be a habit by now? You say that there's a way to get him to speak, which seems to suggest that he's making a conscious effort; does he ever slip up, and how would he react to it? Punish himself for it more?

Also, having him write is a little awkward; even if he wrote fast, would people bother to wait for him? It strikes me as kind of.. strange, especially if you're going to RP it out. In a battle, too; would he have time to write- and wouldn't the difficulty in communication possibly be dangerous?

Lastly, I think people have mentioned before, but 'belling', while unique, is slightly odd. Why would he attach bells.. to people? Would he always carry around bells to put on things? Is there any rationale to this belling thing? I guess it's okay to have it as a quirky thing, but I'd be pretty uncomfortable if someone put a bell on me, and it'd be nice to know why he'd consider doing it in the first place- has he no concept of personal space?

Ummm, I guess that's all I could think of OTL I hope I was helpful! And good luck on your quest <333

Crit time!


History
First of all, I realize that you've put a lot of effort into making your history work with Sanoh rather than against him, but I believe that if you need to make an evil spirit come and trick him, your history is too complicated. This is just my personal opinion, a staffer might see it some other way, but I don't see a way to see this spirit as just a figment of Sanoh's imagination, considering his grandmother speaks to it, and I think it still feels forced. I think that you're trying too hard to coerce this character into doing something I can't see him doing without some sort of supernatural coercion, and reading about it feels awkward. Does Sanoh really need to break his brother's pipa and curse himself to have a reason to join the legion?

Also, this is a grammar thing, but too many '...'s can make a piece of writing sound too slow and dragging. It helps the flow to space them out. smile

Personality

Allegro Agitato- Why is Sanoh like this when he seems to be very deliberate in all other areas, especially when playing his erhu, which, by his family's custom, represents him? You have qualifiers for why Sanoh is the way he is with his other traits, and I would think that after rushing into breaking his brother's pipa, he would be far more deliberate now, rather than hasty.

Sedate/Autophobia- Phobias should be under quirks, I feel, not personality characteristics. I'm afraid of eggs, but that's just a fact about myself, not part of my personality. The eggs are an outside factor that happen to affect the way I act at times. Also, I feel like you should try to be less poetic and more clear in the trait description. I really had difficulty understanding the gist of it. Occam's razor- State the facts as simply and thoroughly as possible. Also, will he speak out if he's alone in a silent room?

Hobbies

I think he needs some more hobbies. So far he only has two hobbies, both of which are tied to music. What else does Sanoh like to do?

Quirks

While he is still a subordinate to everyone else, he finds no reason to speak to others. They are on equal levels, and his concept of battle is, "The position I hold isn't one of actual physical combat, so I don't have to worry about shouting out commands and the like."

There are times where, no matter how much conscious effort

His body is a great way to see how he's feeling. When he's sad, he normally walks slightly bent over, his head down just a bit. Like wise, when he's excited, he may bounce all over the place like a hyperactive kangaroo. There are times when his emotions are all over the place, and when you stare at his face, about 5 different emotions can be seen in a relatively small amount of time.

Broken sentence?!

Brihaspati's point of view- Unnecessary. You've already spent a long time explaining Sanoh to us, you shouldn't need his father to help.

Anti-Shoe
This trait seems to come out of nowhere to me. You explain it, but it still comes from out of left field.

There are also a lot of grammar issues, but I'm not going to touch on them except for the one I did already, since it's still fairly comprehensible despite this. Maybe just proofread or get a friend to and watch out for your tenses?

No, I understood the allegro agitato, but not why Sanoh acts like that when it seems like he's been more careful and cautious about everything else after his brother's death?

What I had trouble understanding was how you described the sedatephobia, etc. I would have liked a more concise description of those phobias/why he has them than there was.

Actually, my fearing eggs comes from when I ate some bad ones once and got quite ill. smile It may seem random, but it has a logical origin, as do most peoples' likes, dislikes, and fears.

Like I said, I think that his history is overwrought, but that's personal preference. As for his personality, I think you've done better explaining the belling and such, but I still have a bit of a hard time picturing him, mostly because of the points I made before and also in my last crit. Now that you bring up the traits as a whole though, I do notice that his main 'negative' trait is paranoia versus three positive ones? Maybe explain the downsides to one of his positive traits, or put in another slightly more negative one (open book might be good, since he has trouble hiding his emotions, it seems?). Again though, these are just suggestions. :B Other than that, I can picture him more clearly than before, so there's been improvement!

Hello! It’s Honey crit time <3

First off let me just say that you’ve come a long way from what you started with. Sanoh is growing more every time and I think with just a bit more tweaking you’ll soon be there.

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Sanoh’s Character

In response to your question:

A character needs both obvious and not so obvious flaws. You took Kuro wrong. She said you don't ALWAYS need to make flaws obvious, not that you couldn't ever make a few of them obvious.

Flaws are just that, flaws. They are always open to possibilities as you further your character through rp, but you need to explain them. For the purpose of the quest, they need to be at least a little obvious and clear. Don’t leave it to the reader to figure things out cause most of the time they figure wrong.

Crits have already been made regarding Sanoh’s lack of faults. I don’t even count paranoia as being a fault unless it somehow involves others. Sanoh is only paranoid of that wayward spirit, not people it seems. Why is this a fault? It’s not effecting anyone but him. A fault effects people who are around the character.

So far, Sanoh is a silent gentleman who likes to make things and take care of others while having a fear of a strange spirit from his past. Everything that comes from his past is all internal for him. He needs some kind of fault that is EXTERNAL and directly effects the people around him and how he acts with them in social situations.

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Sanoh has too many weird quirks going for him and that makes him seem overly dramatic. He doesn’t talk, use his hands, or wear shoes. He’s also paranoid over a creepy spirit that somehow possessed him and caused him to break his brother’s instrument thus throwing his life spiraling out of control at a young age. He also puts bells on things and moves so fast that it seems impossible for anyone to even approach him. And he also doesn’t use weapons and has a horrible past.

Do you see what I mean? All of these things together, his personality and quirks, cause too much confusion for the character and makes the reader wonder why he does what he does. And yes. He needs to have a legitimate reason for the things he does. I’d advise you to pick one or two quirks and focus on them so that you’re better able to make Sanoh more cohesive.

And still regarding his past. A family ghost? Only dead-soul conduits can sense ghosts and they are RARE. How in the world could a family have/be aware of a ghost? They all can’t be dead soul conduits. And I think you said Sanoh is a living-soul conduit? So the ghost in the story wouldn’t make any sense as Sanoh wouldn’t be able to speak to or channel him since said spirit is considered a “dead soul.” So, Sanoh would only be dealing with those of the living and his reason for belling, cute as it is, would be moot since he doesn’t have the actual power to dispel dead spirits.

Oh, More accurate Fan Art up! Thanks a bunch, Sephiros Immortali!!!!