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 Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:10 am
Panata tensed and turned to look at L'thor, clear worry in his eyes. It would have been a fool of him to miss that bitterness in L'thor's tone, the boy good at picking out snide or upset remarks in people's speech thanks to a good bit of practice as of late. It had taken him a while to realize not everyone was glad he'd recovered, and not everyone had thought it was a bad stroke of luck that got him mauled. A lot of people thought he'd deserved it for being as stupid as he was. Panata was half-inclined to believe them.
"That's not what I meant at all. You misunderstood me."
His voice was shaking a little as Panata dared to try and correct L'thor, his hands moving off of Raith just a little should this turn out badly. He hadn't meant to say anything wrong and didn't want to have to clarify what his point had been but it seemed like he probably was going to have to.
...which was easier said then done. Panata may have been talking brave and feeling brave, but that didn't mean he knew what to do next. It wasn't in him to tell anyone off, but he had to figure something out. This man hadn't been here for the hatching, so he wouldn't have known why Panata felt the other colors were beyond his scope, and with a deep breath Panata reached down and pulled his shirt up in one fluid motion.
"This is why I don't want a Bronze, or a Blue or Brown!"
The wounds had healed, but were still quite angry to look at. Thick fingers of pink and purple snaked themselves all along Panata's torso, from his hips up to beneath his arms, their different sizes testament to either a dragon with different sized claws...or more than one dragon. Each healing wound seemed to tremble with every breath Panata took, and it seemed so funny to see things that looked so clearly fatal on to the torso of such a small, quiet boy.
"I know that any dragon could have done this, be it any color, but - you weren't there. You wouldn't understand, and you'll laugh at me like all the others. A dragon can pick whomever it wants, that's true, and it doesn't have to be a Bronze to pick a rider full of themselves."
....oops.
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:28 am
Well, that certainly wasn't pretty. L'thor forced himself to calm down and pushed the fingers of his good hand through his hair. "I was there," he corrected, "jut not fully settled in. I saw what happened, I'm not going to laugh, and I'm shocked that anyone would. That crazy blue and the pushy bronze... But you're right," he shrugged, "I don't understand. I can see why that would put you off a blue and a bronze, or put you off all dragons, but I don't see why it puts you off browns but not greens... And in any case, you said they were 'beyond you' before, not that you didn't want one. That's quite a difference in meaning, so far as I understand it anyway." Rubbing his forehead, the rider broke eye contact and tried to work out what to say next. So the boy was traumatized, understandable, and only saw greens as okay now? That didn't make sense to him, but he supposed it didn't have to make sense, fear like that seldom did.
"Forgive me," he said eventually, looking back up and letting out a long slow breath. "So many candidates rate the value of a dragon and the worthiness of a rider by colour. I'm not a very sensible person, I act first and think later if I think at all, and I am sharding defensive of the smaller dragons, because so few people seem willing to take their part. So many, if given the choice between green, blue, brown, or bronze, would grab the bronze every time. I can understand you not wanting to after what happened... but that wasn't what you said before, and that was why I was angry. I'm sorry that I didn't understand what you meant." There, he'd actually apologized, quite an achievement for him. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor kid now that he had further explanation. He might not understand fully why it was that he now saw greens as okay but none of the others, but he could accept it.
Raith, having noticed that she was no longer being fussed over, hurridly picked up the thread of the conversation from L'thor's mind. "Oh, well done," she smiled slightly, "you managed to reign in your rampant ego enough to say sorry... Poor boy." Crooning softly, Raith moved to nuzzle the candidate's shoulder. "You know, I think he's good enough to deserve a green," she said to her lifemate, "I hope he gets one, even if he was brought to that desire by fear." What might he have wanted before? The past was very important to humans... yet it shouldn't be clung onto needlessly. What he wanted now was what mattered, and what he wanted now was good.
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:44 am
Panata frowned and lowered his shirt, his cheeks clearly red from all the effort it had taken him just to say what little he had. When the man had snapped back it made him want to cry a little though he bit his lip and kept looking L'thor in the eyes. It seemed as though he was trying to put what the man had told him into practice, even if only just a little.
"I feel safe around Greens. It's not because they're small, it's not because they have gentle personalities, I just can't explain it. I've no desire or ambition to do something huge with my life other than go back to the Hall if I fail to Impress."
He knew he wasn't driven with a want of power or leadership like those who Impressed bronzes, and he knew he didn't have the skills to make others follow him like many Brownriders who became Wingseconds or Wingleaders. There was a fear of blue ingrained in him that prevented him from even thinking about those types of dragons at the moment, not to mention many of those riders seemed a stronger person than he to begin with, which left his thoughts on the Greens. They were dragons who seemed forgiving of anyone and everyone, even willing to take in someone as pathetic as Panata must seem to be.
"And if you must know, my favorite dragon color actually is Brown. I've liked Browns ever since I got Meisir, but as you can tell by just talking to me one probably wouldn't even look my way - even a Brown with very poor self-esteem. But I-"
He stopped talking as Raith nuzzled against his shoulder, her massive head moving his body ever so slightly, and despite his best attempts Panata felt himself hiccup back a few tears. He did not want to cry, he was not going to cry. He promised himself that once he got out of that bed there would be no more tears, and yet -
"Uweh. . .it's...it's because Greens are so . . ."
Forgiving, and loving. The only dragons who would care to look his way, or even pretend to give him interest. That was why Panata felt that if he had a chance, even a sliver of one, it would be with a Green.
But he couldn't say any of that because he was crying. Hwuf.
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:03 am
Oh great job L'thor, really great, you made the traumatized candiadte cry. The rider groaned, got to his feet, and moved hesitantly over to Panata. "Umm... Look... Dragons don't come with personalities connected to their colour." What was he even trying to say here? He wasn't really sure. He liad a hand tentatively on Panata's shoulder. "I know a green who's as grumpy as anything," he said softly, "and I've know browns as gentle and patient as my own Raith is... I'd say that your temperament probably means that a dragon who passionately wants to lead, or a loud brash one wouldn't choose you but you could still quite easily be chosen by a brown." He wasn't really any good at this, crying people were not his forte. Luckily Raith, sweet thing that she was, knew rather better how to behave.
Well of course she did, one of them needed to! Raith gave another deep croon and nosed him again. She was glad that L'thor hadn't got snippy over his confession that he liked browns best, that was the last thing they needed just now. Besides, unlike most candidates, he had a reason for why he liked browns best; a firelizard you adored of a given colour was bound to make you think better of dragons that colour... Had L'thor liked blues best before Impressing her she wondered? She was sure he had been with River and Dusk already when she had hatched. As a point of interest, she might ask him sometime.
Thank goodness for Raith, he didn't know where he'd be without her. "If you could point me at some of the candidates who've been laughing at you," L'thor said after a moment with a slight smile, "I'll specifically ask for them to come up and help tidy my weyr, since I can't do it myself. I'll have them sweep all the sand off Raith's bed, and replace it with straw, then Raith will decide she doesn't like that batch of straw and they'll have to get more. Sound fun?" Panata might well not be the type to enjoy revenge, but if he was L'thor would be more than happy to oblige.
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:57 am
Panata gently placed his hands on Raith's massive head, the sandsoap rubbed off onto his own clothes so no fear of smearing any on her face, and he softly smiled between his tears. He was pretty thankful that he wasn't sobbing all over the place or being so loud he couldn't calm down, that would have just made things way worse than they already were, and at L'thor's curious offer of making people work over and over to fix things Panata had to politely decline with a shake of his head.
"I don't really want to make it worse, though I do appreciate the offer. Sometimes when we try to get revenge it just comes back even harder, and these boys are older than me and know the way of the Weyr more. I'm an outsider to them, and I think. . . ."
Panata wasn't going to be cocky and say he had a rider on his side to defend him. He wasn't certain that L'thor liked him even a little bit at all, what with the semi-heated debate they'd just had, so he didn't want to push any of his luck on that issue. Panata didn't have anyone he could call a friend or an ally, other than Meisir...who was his pet, and even if it would help him just for now the youth didn't want to take the chance of never making friends.
"But it does sound kind of fun. Many of them complain about how they hate to do tedious chores and would rather be off doing other things, but they fail to realize that its the little tasks here and there that make the Weyr function better. At the very least we're not acting like drudges, so. . ."
For the most part his tears has stopped by now, Panata never the type to carry on longer than his body felt he needed to, and he moved one of his hands to rub the stains from his cheeks.
"And I'm sorry for crying. I know boys shouldn't cry, but . . ."
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 10:12 am
At that he grinned and shook his head. "Everyone should cry, it's good for you, I cry sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm all that good at dealing with it in other people. Still, just because I don't know what to say or do doesn't make it bad. Keeping emotions bottled up only leads to bad places in the end, right?" Right. Honesty, at least with yourself, was important. In general he had to admit that he preferred not to cry in front of other people, but there was no need to bring that up; most folk would probably prefer not to cry in front of other people save very close friends who could be relied upon not to poke fun.
He really did feel like an arse for immediately jumping down Panata's throat now. Maybe he should try to be more patient with people, hear the whole story before he snapped... Well it was a nice sentiment but he knew it wasn't likely to happen any time soon; sensible and calm just wasn't him. He might be able to keep it up for a short while, but before too long he'd forget and slip back into his natural way of snap decisions and lack of forethought. Still, at least things seemed to be mended now.
"We'll be rooting for you at the next hatching," L'thor went on with a smile, "I hope you find your dragon, whatever colour it ends up being." Green! Greens were the best after all, but if he got something else... well, everyone was happy with what they Impressed once they actually had, right? Even if he did get a blue, once the fear of the hatching had passed, Panata would be happy.
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Posted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 9:24 am
"Everyone shouldn't cry as often as I do. It took me a long time to realize that being called Pansy by my brother wasn't a reference to some kind of flower, you know."
Panata let his hands release from still touching Raith's massive head, the warmth from her hide giving his hands some form of comfort and actually easing the sting that was coming from all the washing. He proceeded to start washing the dragon again, remembering what all he'd been summoned out here for, and slowly the awkward silence he'd been feeling went away. He was getting calm, for now.
But. . .
At the mention of the next hatching Panata's face blanched for a moment before the color slowly came trickling back, an uneasy smile forcing itself across his face. He hadn't thought that far ahead into the future, seeing as he tried to keep his mind on other things, but quickly thoughts of being on the Sands again took over his mind. It made him troubled, enough to knock Meisir from his light sleep, and the little Brown awoke with a pathetic creel.
"Thank you. It'll be nice to be out there. . . to see the different dragons again. They're all really cute when they first come out, and . . ."
Although Panata's voice wasn't shaking, above him Meisir moved off his PRETTYLADY and swooped down to be on his Master's shoulder, his wedge-shaped head pressing hard against his cheek. It was always near impossible to fool an animal, be them a flitt or dragon.
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 5:47 am
Poor little Pansy - what a nickname - it couldn't be much fun being so scared of something you still wanted. Sighing internally, L'thor backed off and eased himself back down into the grass; Raith and Meisir would do a far better job of comforting the candidate than he could. One cue, Raith gave another reassuring rumble. Poor thing. She wished she could sit on the sands with him and make sure he was alright, but that was of course impossible. He was on his own, and she supposed he would just have to be quicker on his feet than he had been last time. She just hoped he didn't try to flee from a dragonet that was trying to bond with him.
"Still, that won't be for a while," L'thor said eventually, "not time for a queen to rise again yet." Maybe there was enough time for Panata to collect himself, to overcome his fear. Alternatively, maybe there was enough time for it to get fully ingrained and cause him to freeze in terror the moment he was dropped onto the sands. He hoped it was the former, but a large part of him suspected it would be the latter or something like it. Still, there was really nothing he could do about that. All he'd be able to do in the end was watch, and hope Panata avoided another mauling.
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Posted: Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:58 pm
"That's true. It takes at least a full Turn before a dragon may even think of Rising again, and even then she may or may not actually do so. The young Queen probably won't even Rise during her first two Turns, or so I've heard. They take much longer to mature, but I guess it's all in good time."
Panata had resumed washing Raith yet again, odd in how his actions seemed to be so task oriented, and he only spoke over his shoulder as his face stayed looking to the green's hide. His thoughts were moving towards the future, uncertain, but he was doing his best to keep things focused. The constant pressure on his cheek assured him that Meisir didn't like him being upset and that helped steer his mind.
"I'll be at least a Turn older by then, maybe two. I wonder if I'll be any taller by then, or my voice will have changed. I certainly can't stay the same as I am now, at least not if I want to try and grow up a little."
Whether he meant grow in size or grow in maturity was up for debate, but there was a high probability he meant a mixture of both. To be a rider one needed a certain amount of discipline, not to mention some form of self-control. A rider of any color dragon who cried all the time wouldn't be very well looked at.
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:02 am
((WTF? Out of order posting is not cool!))
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Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:03 am
"Quite probably both," L'thor chuckled, "and I'm sure you'll mature on the inside too; I certainly changed a lot in short spaces of time over my teen years." There was time for him to get a bit of a backbone in him... but for now, that could all wait as far as L'thor was concerned; Raith's bath came before Panata's personal development! Sighing contentedly as his lifemate relaxed further, L'thor lounged back in the grass and, gazing up at the clear blue sky, thanked whatever force had brought him to where he was in life right now. Sprained wrist or no, he was in a far better place than the youth giving his dragon a good scrubbing. Perhaps next time somebody said something that annoyed him he would remember how good his life was and hesitate before jumping down their throat. Not likely, but hey, stranger things had happened... Well, probably they had in any case.
((Well, Gaia is apparently insane XP))
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Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:55 pm
The boy could only nod his head with silent knowing at L'thor's agreeing remark, leaving Panata to get back to work on the task he'd actually been assigned. The pair had been speaking so much that Raith was beginning to dry in certain areas, and if he didn't get a move on she'd be covered with dry soapsand and rather itchy.
"Meisir, assist me please."
The little brown trumpeted his acceptance of the request and quickly made his way back to the water, returning to get sudsy himself.
Panata's hands were beginning to smart after a while, having taken longer than he thought them to do. He'd gotten a fair portion of Raith done in less time as well with Meisir actually helping him instead of hindering him, and as the boy gave another run over the Green's hide with his hands he let out a contented sigh of fulfillment. Atop his head Meisir seemed to whistle his own form of approval, though the images he was sending out gave a more defined version of his happiness.
"I'm sure it's nowhere near as good as what you can do, but I think the two of us have managed to get your Raith looking nice, L'thor. All she'll need to do now is rinse and then we can pat her dry."
He gave a gentle pat against Raith's side with his hand, wincing a little as a feeling of pain rushed up from the nerves against his palm. It had been such a long time since his hands were roughed up to this point, the skin usually holding out thanks to his time at Smithcraft, and he'd almost forgotten how much it could sting.
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:01 pm
L'thor rose to his feet and crossed the distance between himself and his lifemate, reaching up to stroke her face once he was close enough. "She looks wonderful," he said, turning to Panata with a smile, "thank you for making such an effort." He could have bullied a lazy candidate into doing a decent job of course, but it was gratifying that Panata had done it right just for the sake of doing it right.
Rumbling her appreciation and agreement, Raith turned away and waded into the lake, quickly freeing herself of soapsand and returning to the shore to be dried. "I do like this one," she commented to L'thor, "he has a good heart. He will do well by a dragon." Maybe a green friend for her; he did seem fairly set on the idea, and a candidate's desires could influence dragonets. She would quite like having a young friend to teach and take care of.
L'thor stepped back again to allow Panata to dry Raith off and smiled slightly to himself. Yes. It would be nice to have a young friend to teach and take care of.
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:39 pm
Panata's cheeks flushed happily at the compliment, and it seemed like the stinging in his hands went away as well. He quickly grabbed a towel as Raith waded off and then made her way back, taking the time in her absence to wipe down his little flit who seemed to be shivering against the cold that drying soapsand seemed to bring. Meisir crooned happily at the affections, his eyes rolling blue, and when he was free of what ailed him the little firelizard moved back to his perch from moments before, atop Panata's head.
"I'm just...trying to do my best. There's no point in doing it any other way, since you can't go behind me to fix any mistakes. It's also just not in me to leave things halfway done and pretend it's finished."
As the cloth finished getting the water off the Green's hide Panata could no longer pretend that he didn't feel the sting on his palms and fingers, his face no longer able to mask the small winces here and there. It wasn't like he'd rubbed his hands raw, far from it, but none the less it felt very close to it. It didn't really matter though since he was done, so after this was finished he could excuse himself and get his hands seen. The Healers would laugh at him, but by this point in time he didn't care.
"But...I think that should do it. She's dry now too, and looking more radiant then when the two of us first came out here. I think Meisir agrees with me."
The Brown flit indeed agree, launching himself up against Raith's face to rub against her. Panata would have died if Meisir had been acting this way on any other dragon, and he nearly did now anyway, but it seemed like things would be okay based on what L'thor had said and how gentle Raith had seemed all along. Maybe she would indeed find this all flattering.
Panata was about to say something more when his hand rubbed against the fabric of his leg, this time tearing the skin a little and making him cry out softly. It was more of a thin hiss, and right away he moved his hands behind his back to hide them from the man before him. He was pretty sure L'thor had his hands torn up a fair number of times before getting them callused enough to no longer hurt, but this was still embarrassing for him.
"Is there anything else I can do for you now?"
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 2:48 pm
He liked people who just did their best, it was what he did on duty when it came right down to it. Off duty... well, he probably wasn't half as nice as Panata but then that probably went for a lot of folk. He was a good lad, desreving better than what life had thrown at him at that hatching. He hoped the lad's persistance paid off, he really did. The soft hiss of pain pulled him out of his pondering then however, and he winced in sympathy before shaking his head.
"No, thank you, go and get yourself some salve for your hands. Having never washed a dragon before, having to clean up an entire adult must have been rough, I didn't think of that." He of course had built up to it slowly as Raith had grown, Panata had gone in at the deep end. Poor boy, another small ailment to add to his list of things to worry about.
"I expect I'll see you, and Meisir, around the place," he added with a chuckle. "Oh," he gave a softer smile, "and don't hesitate to look me up if you need help with anything, or if you'd just like to talk. I've enjoyed your company Panata, my brief bout of idiocy set aside." Besides, if Panata came to hang around with him it would give Meisir an excuse to be around Raith; he would like that, and she would like the attnetion. Everyone was a winner.
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