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[Q] Sailor Minkowski, Senshi of Butterflies Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 4 [>] [»|]

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wuthering gee

Fanatical Loiterer

PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:15 pm


I honestly think she looks pretty good! I have a pretty clear image of her character and the way that she behaves in my head. I don't do crits often, but there's one thing that I think could help put it all together just a little better.

in her 'helpful' virtue, maybe add something like this; "One of the reasons she is so insistent about helping people is because she wants very much to be liked." This is the vibe I got from her 'insecure' flaw, and I think they work together- it just needs a bit of clarification?
PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 11:44 pm


I'm not good at giving crit but here goes:
First of all, I like her <3
she seems really sweet User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

A few things:
Hobbies:
Baking Pastries: How often does she bake? Does she share any of her baking with her family?
Baking Group: What time do they meet? get rid of the ",well," How often are the bake offs held? does she win
often?
Collecting glass figurines: does she have a specific store she goes to? Does she go there often?
Piano Playing: Why do her parents want her to play piano? what time does she attend class?
Virtues:
Polite: How polite is she in certain situations? example? Does she have a limit to how polite she can be?
Modest: Elaborate? It doesn't seem like there's enough detail here..... >.<;
Helpful: It's tasks, not task. its and her strongest area of helping is with baking related issues. xD Sorry...I'm kind of a spelling Nazi >.< Sorry if that sounded a bit harsh...I didn't intend for it to :<
Flaws
Insecure/Self-conscious: I don't see nothing wrong here <3 But you might want to ask other people <3
Disorganized: Elaborate? Maybe go into a bit more detail?
Often distracted: Nothing wrong here <3


Sorry if it's a little short. This is the first crit that I've ever done >.<

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nyamomask


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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 12:04 am


edited her hobbies a little. do they look better now? lol

and fixed the spelling/missing word mistake I think. feel free to point out if I missed anything else
PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 4:18 am


Had a quick skim through and it's looking pretty good.

the only thing that tripped me up was this sentence under her Helpful virtue 'When it comes down to if she helps her friends more than a stranger, the truth is that she tries to help everyone equally, though occasionally she subconsciously favors people she knows more' as it reads a little confused

Are you going for some thing along the lines of Although Anming tries to help everyone equally, occasionally she will subconsciously favor people she knows more? Thus leading to her helping out a friend more than a stranger or something along those lines?

litian

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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 1:18 pm


ahh, yeah, something like that.
PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 10:32 am


fixed the sentence wording c: Pondering changing the baking group to a school club? wanting to know if the stampers think her flaws and virtues still conflict orz


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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 2:03 pm


PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 6:03 pm




nyamomask


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PostPosted: Fri May 21, 2010 10:35 am


PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 8:21 pm




nyamomask


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nyamomask


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:13 am


PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 7:00 am


Here's a quick question, how does Anming handle conflicts or arguments? Does her insecurity mean she'll passively deflate under them, or does she have a capacity to voice her opinions or defend herself?

cibarium

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 3:07 pm


she just kind of passively deflates and hopes it'll either resolve itself or someone will resolve it for her if, say, it involved her friends and not her. (like if Ilse got into an argument with someone and wanted Anming to back her up?). Anming's not really one to speak up against something like that, even if she doesn't agree with it, since she wants to be able to keep friends...even if they're not really people worth making friends with
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:56 am


I'd consider writing that up as an extra flaw then, that she's passive / weak willed / hides her opinions out of fear of confrontation. Does she ever attempt to lie to keep her friends if she's worried being honest will end up more harmful?

cibarium

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cibarium

Noob

PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:36 pm


That's totally worth noting in her profile as well, then! XD If that wasn't apparent. <3
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