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 Posted: Wed May 29, 2013 7:33 pm
"I...," it was as if her whole world came crashing down once again, and she was a deer in headlights. With wide eyes, the mare stared at him as he talked. Everything he said, he said from her. Everything she ever taught him or ever said to him was spilling out of him, and it warmed her heart. It was true; love was nothing you could help yourself with - it just happened. And love was unconditional; love was messy - but perfect. No one ever asks to fall in love with whom they do, they just do. Sometimes it's not someone you expect, but it still happens. Shadow was right, and Abattie was shocked at what she was hearing.
His tone, his voice, his stance....everything about him screamed the word 'love', and she couldn't help but just stare at it. The look on her face was indescribable - as least to her - but she didn't care. Shadow had enchanted her for the time being, and stole all her words from her throat. All she could do was stare.
When he compared her to the love he had for Maria, her heart sang. Maria had been everything to him, and more, and he lived his life for her - a promise to her - but Abattie was now...more than that? How could she ever compare to Maria? She never thought that possible...but if he was willing to throw it out there, she'd take it. But she'd never wish to replace the human. Shadow could have room for the both of them, surely.
A giggle escape her, rumbling against his chest as he played with the word 'crush', and the significance behind the word that they talked about before. Yes, he had remembered everything they said, and it meant more to her than she realized. And so began her speech, "...all my life I dreamed of a moment like this; all my life I wanted to hear pretty little words whispered to me about adoration, love and a lifetime together - it's something I've searched for, desperately, I might add. I thought...I thought that he, he could be The One to fill that empty hole. His words were so sweet; they were so well spoken. I thought it was never going to be any better than that...," it had been true, she did think that her life was at it's most perfect state when she was wit him, "...but I was....wrong. Oh, Shadow. What you say to me now - using my own words against me. It's....," Abattie trailed off, unable to put her thoughts into words. What was it? Perfect? Wrong? No. It was everything she knew was right, but was unwilling to admit. He had been on the money with everything he said - it was all true. And it showed her that he listened to her - that she was not just a voice who went in one ear and out the other. What she said to him before really stuck. "...I still don't think I deserve your love; I am indeed a damaged mare, but I am your damaged mare, aren't I? I never met anyone like you before - when we first met, I thought it was crazy that you had no ability to show or understand emotion. I mean, emotions are a part of all of us, whether we like it or not, right? Yet, this is the most emotion any two creatures could ever show. It's like you stripped yourself bare - just for me. For me. I..."
Finally found what I am looking for.... Shadow was willing to give up everything for her own happiness. Even if she chose to reject him, he'd still be there for her. Was it fair for her to turn him down? Well...technically yes; if she didn't feel that way, it was never good to lead him on....but she couldn't tell him no. Not after the way he just tore down all this walls for her. No. She'd never turn him down and not regret it. She was his; he was hers.
"Emotions usually come with a price." It was true; everything always came with a price. One could be happy, but there was always a dark sadness lurking about; one could be sad, but there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. You could not have one feeling without the other coming in sometime in the future. It was always about whether or not that emotion was work the risk. If one was willing to have their heart broken for the risk of admitting their feelings, then the payoff may be good. Or bad. It didn't matter - as long as one was willing to take that risk. Abattie tore her eyes away from the stallion before her, instead looking directly at the ground beneath their feet. She had always been the type to wear her own feelings on the outside of her coat, but this was...different. This was...real. The atmosphere around them had changed, and now the ball was in her court. "But I've always wanted to feel that, regardless of the pain that came with it. Physical or not, it would seem...," she allowed herself a giggle, feeling the still throbbing pain that shot through her body. This would take time to heal, but physical pain was so much easier to handle than emotional or mental pain. Those two usually required the help of another. And Shadow was willing to be there for her, no matter what. "It is true that he had been pretty words, but he never showed me emotion. Not the way you have. That's what I want. I want the passion, the obsession, the occasional...dispute."
Her Papa had been the perfect example how an argument could be healthy for a couple - especially for a couple such as herself and Shadow. He was so...well, stoic, and she was so crazy emotional. None of their fights had to necessarily end in tears or pure hatred for the other, but if they kept each other on their toes and never lost passion for their friendship and their connection, that was real love. As long as he fought for her, and she him....that was real love. Like her Papa; although her own mother had since vanished, he had never given up on keeping their love alive. He had been the one to try - and Shadow was the one trying here. It was up to her to close.
"You...opened my eyes, to what was really in my heart. Oh, Shadow...," with a deep swallow, the mare brought her eyes back up to her friend once more, "this may be premature, but I...love you too." And another smile - this time, wide and rather toothy.
They would take on the world one day at a time. Whether or not this was meant to be was a tale for another hour.
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Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 2:14 pm
Upon the end of his little confession, he was slightly nervous as she seemed to simply stare at him...nothing more but a wide eyed look. Perhaps he had said something wrong? He didn't believe he did but he wasn't exactly the most eloquent or at times logical stallion around - he had his tactics but that was all. Social norms and social skills often evaded his line of thinking. Yet as she spoke up, he finally relaxed slightly, shoulders dropping in evidence while he listened as he always did. It was a skill he held dear to him, a fall back when his words failed to get him through situations; Abattie was no different, except he did more than just listened - he learned. Tried hard to emulate what she did and expand on it.
Thankfully it paid off.
Perking his ears as she spoke of herself in such a way he frowned, despite understanding where she was getting at. He disdained about the thought of her being damaged - it meant he failed...even though it was truth. "Of course I would....it is not of the same context but you were willing to show me what you knew, how you felt. It would be against what I stand for if I could not offer you the same respect. Damaged is in the eyes of the beholder; you are scuffed, but nothing is truly broken." And often, a scuff only needed a polish till it was just like new.
"Besides...the price of my actions are mine, and mine alone. I've bared the consequences of my actions and choices for my lifespan thus far...and not then, and not now have I had the slightest inclination that I wouldn't regret what I do...as you said..." He watched as she looked away, but he kept going. "As the holder of the feelings, it would be my say whether you deserve this love or not; and I think you do - you deserve truth at the very least and I have given you such." Shadow had not lied to Abattie, he had kept quiet if he had nothing to contribute, or did not agree too when it came to him...but he wanted to spare her at first. Shadow had wished it wouldn't turn out the way it had; but perhaps from the pain would emerge something better?
"I don't have much to offer you, Abattie. I am...not a charmer. I don't know how to romance another, and my social skills are sub par at best. Before you...I was like a shell, and any emotions I have came from you..." It was weird to admit he had them, but still...it counted for something. "Yet...you are the first soul i've shed tears for, the first...and only one I will ever love. I can give companionship, what little I do have...and a promise I won't let anyone harm you again." Not to mention, he still wasn't sure he would be able to give her a family - but that bridge would have to be crossed sooner or later.
Raising his brows as she openly admitted that she too loved him, looking up with those doe like eyes which had caught him by surprise from the very beginning he smiled; feeling it weird from his usual stoic expression...but he kind of liked it. "I do love you, Abattie." He said, once more...reaffirming the feelings not only to her, but ran rampant in his chest. Drawing his head forward and down he rested his forehead against hers; closing his eyes for a moment as he breathed out....finally fully relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. "Now....lets rest. We will head out in the morning for a new adventure, a new start."
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Posted: Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:36 pm
It had seemed like only yesterday, the day they met. And yet it could have been a lifetime ago, with the way he spoke. This was not the Shadow she had come across on that fateful day...but that was neither good nor bad. It was just.
She had taken in all the words he spoke, each one more heart-warming and truer than the other. Almost funnily enough, it felt like she was now the student, and he the teacher. Abattie was only as broken of a mare as she let herself be, and she had always let herself treat herself with very little respect. She was broken because she allowed it to happen. And he was there to help her. "I am not broken any longer." It was a soft whispering statement.
"I do not care what you do or do not have to offer me; what I want is my choice alone, is it not? Every little filly dreams of the day her 'knight in shining armor' comes and rescues her...but not all fairy-tales are the same." Her voice was stern, but not cruel as she spoke to him, in attempt to make him understand that it didn't matter what happened now. She was happy, and he was happy. And that was what mattered. "I cannot lie and say I expected it to be this," she nodded her head from Shadow to herself, indicating what they had between them, "but it's my fairy-tale. Well, our fairy-tale. And that will be enough." For as long as the two of them were living, that's all she'd ever ask of him. After everything she'd been through and after everything she put him through, it would be too much to ask for more. Happiness was the key to survival, and they had that.
"Just stay by my side like you promise, and I will stay by yours. That's all I'll need, now." Abattie smiled at him, as he smiled back. This new found love was still an infant, but it was already perfect. When Shadow rested his forehead against her own, her heart fluttered and it was as if all the pain in her muscles and bruises that covered her had simply...vanished. Not entirely, but enough to make the road to recovery a lot quicker. This was where she was meant to be.
It hadn't been like everything she grew up believing and dreaming of, but over the course of her years, she learned that nothing is how it originally seemed. Her Papa and Mama were never meant to be together, yet they had happened all the same. When she first heard the tale of her parent's irregular love for one another, it had given her hope. Hope that one day she'd be there too, She had tried and tried again, but nothing ever worked out. Even he never gave her the hope she knew was out there. But Shadow did. Without either one of them realizing it, he had given her hope that the world wasn't as black and white as it seemed. The two of them were grey - as grey as could be. He had given her hope that every soul has a counterpart; a second-half. Granted, she foolishly looked for it in another...but she came back to him, eventually.
Abattie closed her eyes, imagining a future with the clacking of little hooves. Someday, maybe. Even if it wasn't theirs...
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