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 Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:28 pm
supersweetgurl09 It is a relatively good poem. But, it should be written in a poem format. Which means, commas and the enter key are your friend.
I, myself am only in the 8th grade. Though, people say my poems are quite wonderful.
Some people have gifts for things such as poetry and others do not.
So, the poem was nice. But the grammar and format could be improved. I agree with her //_^
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 8:44 pm
after seeing these posts it makes me feel sad. I only judged the way I thought was right. I'm gonna major in english so my judgement was harsh, but true...
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Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:26 am
your poem moved me to crying very awesome
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:28 am
I know you asked for critism, but I'm not going to break it down bit by bit and critise the hell out of it, because it doesn't help. Okay.. the basic idea of the poem it good. It has a nice ring to it and it gives you a lot of carry on with and you can easily bring inspriation by merely looking out of your window. What I will say, is you could put in some commas and question marks, just so it flows propperly. Also, just because it's a poem doesn't mean you have to use the return button on your keyboard. It still makes it a poem, even if it doesn't have spaces bewteen each line of the poem. Oh and you might want to check your spelling.. However, over all it was pretty good! There is a lot you can do with this and it's a pretty good start. : )
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