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 Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:18 pm
"I think it's brilliant." Damian stood to stand at her side. That sadness in her eyes was something that did not rest well with him. It reminded him of the terrible things she had be subjected to by life, by the men she gave herself to... and something told him to take her hand very carefully, just strong enough to hold but loose enough so that she could pull away if she wanted to.
"If you like it, we can buy it for you," he tried, but immediately hated himself for always resorting to money to make things right. That would have to end... and Raquel would help him make it end.
Damian craned his neck a bit to catch her eye. "Or you could tell me what else I can do to make this a better day."
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:24 pm
"I couldn't have another guitar..." She said, her saddened smile returning. "I have a special bond with my old guitar. Its a part of me. Getting a new one would be like cheating on a lover-" She stopped short realizing the irony of her words. She was silent for a moment before looking up to him again. "Could we simply go for a walk?" She asked, having an overpowering urge to just be alone with him.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:31 pm
Damian nodded. Slowly he directed them out of the music store, and out into the mall area. Overhead were glass ceiling panes, all directing the sunlight down onto the marbled floor. Patches of sun lay in precise increments of each other, making the floor a rather blinding white where they lay. He decided to walk them directly through each one, hoping that with each exposure to the light above, Raquel would take it in.
"Tell me what's wrong," he asked. Even with that request, there was still the suggestion that if she didn't want to, she didn't have to.
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:36 pm
"Hm?" She looked up at him with a half smile. "Oh...hm..." She looked forward, shuffling her feet a bit, distracting herself like she normally did when she was nervous or unsure. She finally sighed before looking up at him. "Damian...I know you want to do some good, and you want to help me...but what do you honestly think of me?" She paused, rethought her question, then reworded it. "Like...With my job...I know it's not the job of the year. I'm not proud of what I do...at all..." Her voice got a bit softer, looking down at her relaxation in the shiny white floors. "I wouldn't have even gone this route if it weren't..." She trailed off, furrowing her brow. Should she open up one of her darkest secrets to Damian after just meeting him yesterday? Strangely enough, she wanted to...badly. She just wasn't sure why or how to go about it.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:42 pm
Before he would even think of pressing her for details, Damian answered her question.
"I think that you are a beautiful person who found themselves in an extraordinarily desperate situation, and who deserves much better than living in the way you do- ...did."
Damian knew then that he could make the promise that Raquel would never have to turn to that 'job' again. And he wanted to let her know.
"Raquel, please, tell me that you will never subject yourself like that again. I will help you, I swear. I will defend your honor if we run into someone that you've met with, I will keep you from them. But please tell me that you will never sell your body for the sake of having to live."
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:51 pm
Her eyes glazed over. There were many reasons she sold herself away. She had her physical needs...to survive. Then emotional and psychological reasons that plagued her. "It's...part of me that I can't erase...my chances in life were cut off abruptly very early on..." She looked away from him, her eyes glazing over as her mind relived different memories. A tear welled up in her eye, finally spilling over and falling silently down her porcelain cheek. She didn't want to promise Damian she wouldn't because she was afraid she'd have to return to it again. "It's all I know how to do." She said, her face suddenly hardening. "I don't know how to cook, clean, waitress..." She had tried her hand at the various jobs, failing and getting kicked out of most. "Education just ...isn't an option for me...i learned basics when i was a young child but..." She couldn't finish. "I-...I'm good at what I do..." She said more to herself than aloud. "Even if I was forced to be..." She said a bit quieter, the word 'forced' sounding bitter and spiteful. She had her back turned to him now, tears getting backed up behind her angry eyes as her shoulders shook a little.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:02 pm
"Raquel..." Damian urgently looked about them to find a private place where she could cry, and could only find a little room-like area that served as a resting place. No one was there. This simply wasn't a popular shopping time, for anyone.
Damian gently lead her over, placed his bags and everything down, and pulled out a hanky from the inside of his jacket.
"You do not give yourself enough credit," he said gently as he found his hand reaching up to her chin. It was tilted up, just a bit, so that he could dab at her eyes. The mascara was beginning to run, and if he could stop it... if he could stop that blackness from running over her features...
"Music, Raquel. My lord. Music like you played comes from a heart. A beautiful heart that knows how to pour into something that matters. You may not have talents in serving bloated idiots their meals, or cleaning things, or pulling ingredients together... I know I can barely read directions for myself thanks to my pampered upbringing and as for cleaning... I know how to put things away."
Damian pressed the hanky into her palm, before taking her hand himself. What was this drive he had all of a sudden?
"Being good at what you do is not a reason for doing it. I am very good at ruining people's lives and acting as if I own the world. But that doesn't make it right for me to do so, and I know that now only because I had everything ripped out from underneath me. Raquel..."
Good lord, he sounded like he was carrying on royally. Damian heaved a frustrated sigh before awkwardly holding his arms out a bit.
"Do you need a hug?"
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:21 pm
Raquel shook he head. Not yet...
She shook her head. What he said did make her feel a little better, but he just didn't understand her worries about all this...her mindset or anything. "W-when i was 13..." She began, still holding his hand, wiping her eyes a bit more with the other. "I had been living under the care of some horrid people. They weren't my parents...but They had food...and a roof...I had been staying with them since I was 8 maybe..." she seemed to think for a moment before continueing. "I tried my best to stay out of the way and do my part to pay for my keep. But..." She shook her head. "I never seemed to do anything right...the man in the house...would beat me...for anything..even if he were simply bored and wanted something to do..." She let go of his hand momentarily, wrapping herself in a hung, holding her arms tightly.
"After one too many broken bones and bloody lips, I wanted to leave. I tried many many times..." Her voice shook as did her shoulders. She shivered as if she were cold, but it was obvious it was just old fear re inviting itself in. She took a deep breath. "Finally...one night...I made it...but not without a parting gift." She took her short hair and formed a ponytail with her hand, lifting it to show him her neck. A large, faded scar interrupted the smooth silky look of her skin. She let her hair fall back into her face before continuing. "I thought I was home free though...I hid among the garbage for I don't know how many hours...Once I was sure it was safe, I came out..." her voice wavered. "I didn't see a group of men coming out of a near by pub. They were drunk as hell and horny as anything..." her eyes held a mix of fear, disgust, hate and shame. Tears began falling more fluidly now as her breathing quickened. "I begged them to stop...I begged them over and over again, I screamed I cried...i did all I could...but ...i felt numb...i felt dead...." quiet sobs were now unconsciously coming from deep within her heart. "Once they all had their fun, they walked away, violently throwing money at me, telling me to buy something 'pretty' and that they'd see me later..." Her knee's felt weak as if she were about to fall over. She was no all out crying, and couldn't stop. "That was the first time i had ever gotten money for anything. I tired everything! I tried and I tried, but every week i was assaulted and paid for it! I never asked! I was never given the choice until it became the only way! the only way...!!!" She was shaking terribly now, and she tried to keep herself balanced.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:28 pm
Damian's face was a mask of disgust, but not because of her actions... but because of what life had so cruelly thrown at her face.
He listened, he extended a hand to steady her, but it was clear she had to get everything out before he could get his own words in. Yet at the end of her tale, Damian found that words could not come. Nothing seemed right to say.
At a moment where her sway seemed to threaten to bring her toppling, Damian went forward to catch her.
Somehow, he found himself hugging her, very gently. Gentle. Constantly he treated her like something breakable, but only because he feared driving away yet another woman.
"They will never touch you again," he whispered. "They will never hurt you. I will see to that, I promise you, Raquel. I promise you, you are safe from anything that I can stop from happening."
Damian had never made a sincere promise before. Never. Everything had been business, or obligatory, to just sound nice. But then, he knew that his money was worthless unless it could make someone smile, or keep them safe. Raquel would be his purpose, if not from love or some dramatic feeling, but from the simple fact that she needed it. He needed to help her.
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:39 pm
Raquel fell into his hug. She hadn't been hugged since she was just a girl. A tiny little thing, where her life for one brief moment seemed like it might be ok. That's how she felt for a brief moment now. She brought her shaking arms around his waist, crying into his chest, subconsciously feeling horridly guilty for staining his shirt. She had only cried the night all that had happened. She may have teared up since then but she had never full on out cried. She needed it. She needed Damian. She couldn't understand why, but she just needed him. Her gentle quiet sobs echoed through the empty mall as Raquel poured out her past life, her past pain, her past fears, hoping Daimain could be true to his word and keep it, any of it from happening again.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:48 pm
He didn't care about his suit. He cared about her eyes stinging from the makeup, about her becoming breathless from her crying. Damian slowly but surely let go of a part of Lorey, and perhaps without knowing it, replaced that with Raquel.
As she cried, Damian made sure to keep a tight grip on her, incase she should pass out. But he also held tight for the sake of her feeling safe. This was what it was like to do good, he thought. This was what it felt like to know that you were serving a purpose for someone, one that truly meant something and didn't require a fortune to back up.
"Shhh..." he said, after a few more minutes had passed. "You've every right to become hysterical... but this isn't the best place for it..." Despite the fact that no one was really around, there were still shop keepers here and there. He was quite sure Raquel wouldn't want anyone seeing her like this.
"Dry your eyes, Raquel. Please. You are lovely even now, but I think we should get you back to the room to rest... I'll tuck you in on the couch, alright? If you want." All was said with his arms still around her in a caring, hushed tone. He did like this Raquel. Indeed, he liked her very much.
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:53 pm
With his calming tone and gentle way, Raquel's sobs eased up and the tears too eventually stopped. But she still held onto him, not wanting that moment to go away. Please...just a bit longer... She pleaded silently, just wanting a moment longer to hold onto the feeling that someone actually cared for her. Her breathing was starting to slow back down to normal as he mentioned the room. She wasn't sure if she wanted Richard or Lorey to see her this way either. But she would go where ever he told her to right now.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:59 pm
Feeling that she did not pull away, or change her grip upon him at all, Damian knew enough to wait for her. His cheek rested against the side of her head as he heard her calm down, but he would not take that as a sign to pull away. Raquel needed the stability, he knew.
"Would you like to know something?" he whispered into her ear. His breath tickled across, lifting little wisps of hair away. "I do believe I like you. Very much."
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:05 pm
When he whispered in her ear, Raquel tensed her arms a bit subconsciously as goosebumps ran up and down her neck. she kept her hold somewhat, letting it loosen a bit as she looked up at him, her big, lovely green eyes searching his. they were smudged around the edges where her make up had run a bit and were red from crying but they were the same pair that looked to him for comfort, support, permission, and approval. She looked up at him for a moment, as if trying to read if his words were true or not. Her lips parted slightly, looking to his before she returned her gaze to his eyes.
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- Pocket Full of Ashes - Crew
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Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:11 pm
Damian looked upon her eyes. They were red from crying, but it brought out the green so much more. It was strange how her terrible, ugly past had made her cry and had somehow managed to make her eyes more shocking.
It was then that he entertained a thought. It would do no harm, as far as he saw, but it was something genuine, and thus he felt the need to pursue it.
"May I kiss you Raquel?" he asked, always trying to act as she wished him to.
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