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 Posted: Fri Nov 19, 2004 7:03 pm
*There was a time where the world was young.*She began, the words coming off easily as she slipped into remeberance. Words, cadence, song. A poem in a story, she had thought...and had immediately loved that thought. *Newness blanketed it all. The cliffs, the waves, the breeze, the light...all of it was as a newborn, fresh and innocent. The spirits blessed it all, but no more than two that walked this world. They were especially beloved because their love was the true joining of two spirits, two hearts. They saw their love, not just as man to woman...but as a complete joining of substance and thought and emotion. It was not that they breathed the air...good as it was...it was that they breathed the air that the other also took in. It was not the sun that they bathed in, rather it was the sun that warmed the other.
Everything that they thought of was in reference to the other. The spirits could not help but bless such a union, and showered them with all their affection.
But there were others that grew jealous of such purity and joy. They saw a perversion in what was clean. They resented the affection given the young lovers by the spirits. They saw what others had and coveted it themselves.
Attempting to kidnap the young girl, indeed to defile and possibly kill her...the two young lovers managed to escape and fled. The earth was kind to them, soft grass cushioning their feet as they ran. It was hard on their pursuers, rising up to cut into their skin, ripping their feet to ribbons to where blood flowed freely in their wake. The girl called upon the earth to aid them, and it had.
They ran until they reached the edge of a great stream. The young lovers ran through the water without harm, the raging floods slowing to a still trickle for them. And as the girl cried out for the spirits of water to assist, the flood returned, sweeping all before it in a merciless rampage of water and stone.
Still being followed, they came to a cliff. Too high to climb...too steep to jump. Frantic and cornered, the young male lover knew that they would never be able to fully elude their persuers. Therefore he prayed to the spirit of fire to be able to carry his love to safety. To a place where no one could ever harm her.
The spirit of flame blessed the young man, and touched him. He became a great bird of flame, rising on wings of pure light and fire, he lifted the woman he loved ever so gently and bore her across the canyon and to the plains beyond. But once there, they knew a different kind of problem. For she was still a creature of substance and earth...while he had become a thing of flame and air.
Loving him even then, she prayed to the final spirit...the spirit of air. She prayed to be what her lover would most need. She prayed to be what could carry and uphold him. In this life and every other.
So the spirit of wind blessed her and she became the wind. She would always be at her lovers side, and what held him and carried him. She would always be what he most needed. *
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Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2004 2:34 pm
WHAT is wrong with me? First I've managed to alienate Chae...and now Nika? I don't like arguing...my kind of fights are not with words...why is it that everyone I talk to ends up hurting me or being hurt by me?
I didn't have this trouble when I was smaller. Everything was so clear and easy then. I knew who my friends were, who my guardian was...now I have half-formed thoughts and suspicions and memories that do nothing but put me on edge and taunt me with being incomplete. Everything that I did know is no use against that. I hate this. I hate it.
It hurt when Nika called me paranoid. Hurt as much as Chae ignoring me. They both can't be at fault, so the reason for their anger has to be me. I can't blame everyone else when it's obvious that the problem is originating here.
I told Nika that it felt lonely in the bright lights...but I envy that old me her lonliness. Maybe if I try, I can get that back somehow. Then it won't hurt so much when people turn away. Instead of degrading myself by being clingy and tearful, I can step back and be aloof of it all.
That's what I want now.
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Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 8:57 pm
I found the following tucked in under my pillow. The handwriting was not Chae's...so I am not sure who wrote it...
Do Not
That there are silver raindrops in your hair
my love,
Pray do not hide from me.
They are but diamonds upon
A precious gilded lily.
That there are thorn bites upone your hands
my love,
Will not offend me.
They are the kisses of the blooms
You love soft and gently.
That there is pain in your heart
my love,
Pray, let me see.
I am but a tool to ease it,
Here to end your suffering.
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Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2004 10:11 pm
After a night sleeping outside in the damp, I managed to huddle under a blanket miserably and wish for some level of warmth somewhere. It was cold, and dreary and did I mention cold?
Nika found me in that state and dragged me off to some secret place he had found. It was beautiful there, with a full lake and what looked to be a grouping of rocks that may have been used for a slide at some juncture.
Then I had to put my foot in my mouth and offend Nika again. He hid it well, but I could tell I was trying his patience. It was at that point that a ship came down. Nika and I both decided to salvage what good memories were left of the day, and investigate that instead.
We did not get far before stumbling in to Cern and Io. I was so pleased and shocked to see him again that I forgot myself and did what I couldn't do as a child. Just hug him and be happy he was there.
Even that went awry, as I could immediately feel Io's reaction. She left, pretending disinterest.
Why is it that everything I do drives SOMEONE away?
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Posted: Tue Jan 04, 2005 10:45 pm
Cern had started out fully intending to go with Nika and Shiva back to the base. He's chickened out, walked quickly towards the ship instead. Neither of them seemed to notice, which was probably a good thing considering what had popped into his mind in rapid succession. Hopefully Ed hadn't locked the cabinet this time.
Shi had crawled back under her blanket, watching Nika return back to the place that he shared with Gee. Return to his home. How she envied him in that moment. Looking askance at the silhouette of the place where she supposedly resided, she made herself turn away.
It was several more minutes when she realized what it was that seemed so odd and distracting to her. Cern had not yet come out. Blinking she looked at the sun in the sky, and then figured the time. He had had more than enough at even a snails pace to come back. Where was he?
Concerned, she got to her feet and walked back towards the wood, still clutching her blanket about her. At the least she could try to keep warm while she satisfied her concern.
Peering in, she saw nothing. Now where had he gone to? Bottle in hand and already regretful, Cern managed to make his way to the ship's door and seat himself on the threshold. The bottle was nearly half empty, though he was fairly certain he'd only had a drink or two. The cabinet hadn't been locked after all, just stuck. A good hard jerk had opened it wide, and left the contents to Cern. Fine by him. He had all the time in the world.
Tipping the bottle back, Cern watched the horizon and wondered whether it was worth the effort of trying to chase down someone who could cook.Where had he gone? She hadn't felt anything all of a sudden. Or even...saw. Not that "seeing" was at all reliable. She was sure that a total disaster could happen and she not precog it.
It already had once.
*hello?*she called softly*Cern? Hello?* Pulling her blanket around her more closely, she backtracked slowly through the wood, eyes to the ground looking for a careless sign of passing, or even a...struggle? What a silly and completely believeable thought.
She hated herself for it immediately.
Continuing to trace it back, she saw the sun glint off bright metal and had realized that Everdark had parked her ship a bit yonder off. Could he have changed his mind and not decided to come back to camp despite his earlier words?
Was Cern that indecisive?
In a heartbeat. When it CAME to hearts.
She didn't see signs of a fight, so she worked her way quickly through the trees, flittering in and out amongst the boughs and leaves as a sylvan child. Leaning forward a bit, Cern wondered when the ground here became so welcoming. So friendly. So downright enticing. He cautiously set the bottle down, oblivious when it rolled backwards and spilled, and jumped down the foot or so. His landing was less than graceful, spilling him onto the floor to be grass stained.
This was the life. The buzz singing through his veins in a technicolor orchestra while the wind whispered. And cracked. The earth was walking towards him. Or he was walking towards it. He tilted his head back, forcing it flat against the ground, reminding himself that he was stationary. Which meant the earth moved for him. What a nice thought.
There had been something he'd been intending to do, around the fifth drink or so. It woudl come back to him eventually.When she saw him lying prone, Shi's first response was to run forward. She checked that immediately, scanning the area first to endsure that she could see nothing obvious. There was no sign of injury either.
*Cern?* Walking forward finally, she looked around. *Are you injured? Cern?*That tree sounded like Shiva. Looked like her, too. Ooh. Cern sat up slowly, enjoying the sensation of the air giggling on his skin. Shi, how goes. He waved to her, then lay down again. I'd offer ya sip but sallgone. Think I drank it.*What you didn't drink, you dropped.* She discerned, sniffing the air and sensing alcohol there. *I didn't see you come back to town like you had said you would. I was worried. Is everything all right?*He waved a hand to take in the world. Better now than it was, or gonna get, right? Right. Sure you don't want none? He dug his toes into the dirt, remembering a garden growing a few yards from a sapling he planted. Shun't ha'worried. Nobody shu worry bout me. I'm good. There had been a storm, and he'd rushed out to cover the seedlings. He closed his eyes, struggling to remember the face, the name, of the person who had helped him.
Whyja worry Shi? Shu just take care of y'self. 'Mfine. No'dy needs me and I dun need 'em. So dun worry 'bout me. Part of him was aware he was making an a** of himself, and it was that part that drew him to his feet, to stand swaying before her. Dun mean that. Dun listen to me Shi. Thanks fer comin'. I'll be fi...urp. He clutched his stomach as the alcohol fought back, nearly falling back to earth.There was a slight glimmer of a smile, but it was sad, and not in any way mocking or congratulatory. *I didn't realize I needed a reason to worry. It seems what I am best suited for. Here, let me give you a hand inside. Once your off your feet things should stop listing so much.* Shi didn't wait for his answer, already sliding her body under his arm and laying it over her shoulders. *Last time I was a bit too small to do this, wasn't I?*
The comments he had made troubled her. Sometimes the most bitter thoughts and secret resentments were uncovered by a bottle. She had seen a flash of his.
If she could get him settled, that would take care of the immediate issue of his potential to injure himself. Then perhaps they could talk. Or rather, try to. Cern tried to ignore the protests his stomach screamed when it realized he was in motion. Thanks...think. Barely able to move, he had to trust her to hold him up, and hope he wasn't too heavy for her. The air had stopped giggling on the surface of his skin, was now laughing loudly in the hairs on his arm. He laughed, softly. Guess I'm a little worthless. Forgot to stop.*Stopping wasn't your intention, I don't think.*she answered matter-of-factly. *Or you would have.* There wasn't the least bit of condemnation in her tone. After all, what had she the right to condemn him on? *I just hope my being here is not making you more ill.*That drew him up short and made him peer at her shortsightedly. Damn odd thing to say, Shi. He grimaced, closing his eyes until the world agreed to stop swirling. You coon...coll...no make me sick. Bah. Even words were outsmarting him now. *you may be right.* she agreed softly. *But possibly not.* she didn't explain more, merely helping to lower him to the couch. *Would you like some water or tea? It may help to settle your stomach? Does Everdark keep any?*[=green]The thought of tea made him feel green. Water. Water's good. Bottled stuff's there. He gestured to a small ice box built into the wall. She was right, it did feel better to sit. *Surely so.*she moved over immediately and found what she was looking for. Pulling it out, she handed it to him. *A cloth for your head? Or a pillow?*Pillow. He tries to make himself comfortable, stopping a moment to touch her arm. Shi? Thanks. She had to have better things to do than take care of a drunk.Smiling she put her hand over his for a moment. *It's no problem. Although I can't help but admit I am concerned for you.* She noted the formality in her words, and thought he might as well. It was the voice she used when she did not want to seem too emotionally entrenched. Her professional voice. Not impersonal, but not emotional either.
Neutral was the word that fit best. No sense pressuring him. Shi was concerned about Cern, but was trying too hard not to show it. She seemed to sense immediately that too much emotion would be the wrong thing to do.
*did you want to talk about it?* she asked. There's not much to talk about, Shi. He winced and held his head steady, ignoring its attempts to run away without him. I was just kind of tired and thought a bit of alcohol would help me relax again is all. It usually does.Shiva *Shall I make you some tea, instead?* she inquired, kneeling down calmly on the floor at his knees and staring up at him with cool concern. Tea was the fix-it-all, the great salve to whatever ailed someone. It was not just a drink, but a state of soul and love to her. Cern looked at her, then nodded, instantly regretting it. Tea would help. Somethin' nice and mild 'n no sugar. And bread. We have bread somewhere. For...*hic*get where.
He stared at her, still slighly confused. Why ya helping me? 'm I that drunk? Great, words were getting difficult again. That was one of the things he hated, that he could speak fine one moment and confuse himself completely the next.*No.* she answered gently *You are not "that drunk". But you are that in need of being tended to. That is what friends do, Cern.* She crinkled her eyes at him in a smile *We seem to spend more of our time together like this though. But you're eating this time, that's good.*
Getting to her feet, she began to rummage around through the supplies. Honey would be good to replace the sugar, it was mild and slightly fruity. But she wasn't even sure ED HAD honey. She certainly did NOT have a proper tea set here. Shi wished good ones came in pocket size sometimes. But sadly not...and she wouldn't be able to get Cern home...if they were even welcome.
Firmly setting the worry aside, she focused on what she was doing. Calm, controlled movements. Easy, flowing, graceful. Stirring the tea, she had found the bread, and some light butter and jam. Setting those to the side, she carried them out.
*Tea.* she announced with quiet cheerfulness, kneeling back down before him. *Shall I pour?*He held up a shaking hand and chuckled. Maybe you better. I ruin our clothes if I do it. The scent of the tea wafted towards him, oddly calming considering the rebellion his stomach was waging. Grante, he hadn't had quite this much to drink in a long time. And the last time he had, tea was the furthest thing on the cure list he could think of.
Do you usually wind up being the nurse now Shi? He adjusted his kilt, aware for the first time of his own disarray. The haze was retreating now. It had to be Shi's calmness. Ed was always worried and frantic when she found him drunk, it made it feel worse. The hitch in his gut changed his mind on that. It just wasn't as bad, was all. *I haven't had the chance, thankfully.* she replied, setting the cup on the small table beside him. *I like to keep busy, feel useful. And I like to be there for people I care about, when they will let me be.* The last was a little bit too painfully close, and she disengaged with a toss of her head. *A little pampering never hurt, now did it?*Cern put his hand on his knee and leaned towards Shi. Not BLIND you know. Spit't out. Leaning back, he fumbled for the cup. If'm going to be spilling what bugs me you better too. Forget the cup, he couldn't find it. He put his hands back in his lap and watched her. What was making her wince when she talked about people she cared about?
Mrf. Hope Io doesn't come back looking for me. Trying again, Cern's fingers found the smooth sides of the cup and captured it. Dun think she'd do that though. Who'll look for you? Tell'm where you were going?She deflty rescued his cup and handed it to him, containing her wince. She thought she had hid it better than that. *Noone.* She admitted quietly. *I've spoken to Chae maybe three times since I grew, and have argued with Nika more than I haven't. I stay away from the others, because what they feel becomes worse around me. I don't know why, or how...only that it's true. I'm probably making you feel worse just by being around.* the thought was sudden and piercing. *Not probably...I am making it worse. That seems to be what I do well. It explains why I was always alone.*
She shrugged. *I don't think you are blind, or stupid. But I think you are the one naseuous and ill.*Nika? NIKA? So I wasn't imagining it! Cern took a drink of the tea cautiously. Should have tol' 'em, he said as he lowered it. Poor kid really did think she made people feel bad. Chae, Auntie? I can't see someone not getting 'long with her. She nice as buttons. Turning his head, he set the cup down gingerly, pleased to see his hand didn't shake nearly as bad.
So'f you make others feel bad, how d'ya know you're not making yo'self feel badly too? He waggled a finger in front of her face, probably entirely too close. Makes sense, dun it? Talent eating you up. Hate fighting but if I don't kickbox I'm bitchier than Ed when Aunt Flo visits. Gotta get out somehow. A chuckle filled his mouth and escaped, leaving a taste of sour and fuzz. Dun tell Ed about that Aunt Flo crack.*Chae is very nice.* she agreed. *And patient with me, and kind. But that was before...and I* she hesitated *I told her that we weren't a family. She has no reason to feel beholden now that I can care for myself. I will not force myself on her charity any longer. It is not right. She ended up staying because *I* chose her. But that was selfish and wrong and I took advantage of her just by existing. I will NOT do that to another being.* she lowered her eyes to her own teacup and swirled it absently. *I won't.* she repeated.
*What about ED?* she asked, mindfully steering the conversation away. Shaking her head she didn't want to dwell on it. Making herself worse? How? By being honest?Cern stared at her, first his finger, then his forehead drooping. That is the BIGGEST load of bullshit've ever heard. It hurt to breathe as he stared at her. What about Ed? I'll tell you. She left. She wouldn't stay no matter how I begged her and she told me to choose her or the planet because she was leavin'. She knew I was happy here and wanted to stay and wanted to be here and would be miserable elsewhere and she left anyways. Not that she doesn't love me, that's just her.
Did Auntie Chae do that? No, she'nt. Know why? Cuz I'll bet she loves you. She could'a left when she wanted 'gardless of you. Coulda taken you with her. So stop that bull. Just stop it. It's dumb and we both know it. Would if you'd 'mit it. If Auntie Chae's stayed it's cuz she wants to. He was practically panting now, had to stop so he could hold his head again. Hurts more t'seal yourself up. Then you've just got you, and if there's nothin' worthwhile inside you, everything in y'heart echoes louder. You'll hear all'f it again and again an' wish you weren' susha coward. The tears in his eyes made them gleam brighter as he stared at her. Ya sound like _me_, Shi. One of us's bad enough. So jus', he waved with one hand, breath hitching as he banished the moisture back to the ducts, jus' stop that bull and lishen to yerself.There was a slight ruffle as she sat near him and hugged him. *Don't do that to yourself.* she chided. *You forget that Im an empath, I know what she's feeling, Cern. And I know that last time we spoke, she was very uncomfortable with me there. I'd rather keep the fond memories than despoil them by pushing. There's no shame in holding on to what you have.*
She hugged him again. His tears had pushed her sympathetic buttons. *I want Chae to have her freedom. I *want* her to leave if that's what she wants. I don't want her hanging on here because she feels like she owes it as some unwanted debt she inherited. I would not be happy elsewhere either...but I...I won't force her to make that choice for us.*
It was a safe...sterile end to things. He put a hand up, holding onto her arm and closing his own eyes. Y'do what you feels right Shi. Were always good at doing that. Falling silent, he watches fragments of old memories dart across his eyelids, listening to the small moments he would have changed. Sometimes wonder if any of us know what we're going to do at the end, y'know? He opened his eyes and looked at her. Like the path is there, but the glitters on the side are just as pretty. Worse, the path is burned and the grass is calling. Grass. Lettuce. Water. Shi? Can y'get me some ice water? The look he gave her was imploring, a throwback to being tiny and cute and no one telling him no.
That reminded him...what had he done with his mallet?Do what she had felt right ? What good it had done any of them now. Closing her own eyes for a moment, she nodded.
when he asked for some water, she nearly bounded to her feet, happy to be doing something again. When she came back, she felt more composed. Handing him the glass, she knelt back down. *You never did tell me why you came back here instead of the town.* she pressed softly. Cern took the water gratefully, remembering not to gulp it. Coul'nt face Io. He shrugged. Never can. She's so... He took another swallow of water, taking the end of his sentence with it. 'Membered we had booze here, gift from Ed's brothers. Ed forgot to lock the cabinet. *Im sorry about that as well.* she answered, folding her own hands in her lap. *I shouldn't have acted so improperly.* It had looked like Io and Cern were dealing just fine before she came in and threw herself at him. Had she thought she was a child again? No...even as a child she had had beeter sense.
*It wasn't even...I normally don't do such things.* she finished lamely Huh? Had he heard her right? Cern looked at Shi funny, twisting his head into an odd position. You don't normally hug people? He shook his head. Always hug me. Waving a hand, he pushed her idea away. Nah, just not sure if she likes me way I like her is all. Makes it hard to talk to her when I just wanna and the water again stole his sentence, this time intentionally. Shi didn't need to hear that. Cern twitched one of his hands, relieved to feel it still attached.
I'll probably get up the brass to talk to her again. Wasn't you though. Dunno why she stormed off. But that wasn't you either. He shook his finger at her again to emphasis the point, then stopped as a thought hit him. Uhoh. Owe her a piece of clothing. The idea filled him up with giggles, made him bow over with silent laughter. His glass of water was soon emptied as he chortled, gripping his belly and leaning on poor Shiva.He had eventually fallen asleep, and she had left. A light, misty rain was falling, but she hardly minded. The past few days she was more wet than not, ready to call herself a mermaid for all the water she had wallowed in.
The talk with Cern had made her feel a little better, but her stomach was still sour with foreboding. It was not as if she had a vision...but rather some deep sense of something amiss. It troubled her.
But at least Cern would sleep for the night. She took some comfort in that. She was sure he would not want her hanging over him when he woke, with the aftereffects of drinking still on him. It was better she leave and let him come around on his own. She hoped he would talk to Io. She was tempted to apologize herself. Not for anything she did, but for Io being uneasy from it.
Later though. Right now she felt warm, and did not want the drizzle to steal it. Sliding underneath a tree, she watched the water pool on hte garden herbs, dripping off quietly. It was always peaceful here.
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:10 pm
*The strangest thing happened....*Shiva, I knew your mother Sei walked through the woods, heading for the spot he knew good, wild herbs grew. These would be good to add to what ever Io was able to kill for their dinner.
He knelt down and started to pick some of the plants, placing them in his pouch.The peace in the garden had begun to shatter into morning activity. Shi woke with a start, realizing she must have dozed there under the tree. The slightly damp smell of herbs tickled her nose, and she sneezed lightly.
Shivering with a slight chill, she got to her feet, not wanting to be seen yet. Chae often came to check on the flowers earlier on. It was the best time, after all.
Slipping out between the homes, she shook the few dewdroplets from her hair and sighed. She did not want to stay here, huddled and looking as an orphan from a Copperfield novel. Perhaps a walk, or light run. Then noone would feel the need to visit random kindness upon her or feel pity.
Skipping into the wood, she carefully marked her trail. Not breadcrumbs this time either. But a slightly burnt stick to mark the trees with as she passed them.Sei paused in his work as he heard someone comeing through the woods. Someone or something, he remained still until he identified the object comeing through, and relaxed once he realized who it was. A slight smirk danced on his lips under the mask.
He noted her damp look, and went back to work, if she noticed him, he'd greet her, if not, then he'd continue about his way.It was not that Shi nearly stumbled over the sudden, and strange man, so much as he was just suddenly there in front of her.
Planting her feet in to the ground she slid to a halt, warily eyeing him.
*Excuse me.*she greeted politely, still tensed to run or fight if need be. *I do not believe that we have met.*Sei smirked to himself, continueing his work. 'It is alright. No harm done,' he replied, softly, looking up at her. She looked so much like her mother....
'Are you alright?' he asked in the same voice. She was wet and tence. Then again, she had not re-met him, and with as much as he had seen the people at the camp go through, he wasn't surprised she was prepared to defend herself. *You startled me.* she admitted. *I have not seen you before. Who are you? And why are you out here by yourself?* She shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, unsure now as to whether she should be so wary. She felt rather foolish for her alarm all of a sudden.'Seishuko,' he answered her simply, then held up an herb. 'Live here, gathering food.'
He couldn't help himself, he had to ask. 'Why are you wet...?'*Out here?* she echoed, looking around. *In the wood?* She had a sudden image of him living in a tree and craned her neck slightly to look at the branches. *I...didn't think there were any others around. We've all seem to have been gathered in one place. Not essentially the safest setup...but essentially the safest.* she shrugged at the contradiction. *I'm called Shiva. Not sure if that's really who or what I am, but for the moment it is. Did you name yourself?*
She looked at herself with a slight grimace. *I am wet because I have water on me.* she added blandly, hoping that would sufficeSei chuckled. That was a fitting answer, one that he wasn't going to pry into. If she wanted to tell why there was water on her, she would have.
'Yes, here. My name has always been Seishuko,' He answered her in return. Then, looking at her again, he sent the image of her, sitting on the ground. Offering her a seat, in his own way.She looked rather startled, and sat down abruptly. *How did you do that?* she asked, sudden curiosity overwhelming caution. *I've heard voices and emotions before, but never a direct image like that.*Well, that was something he knew others wondered. He smiled to himself, continueing his work.
'Old life, I was already mute, already telepatic. Spoke mostly in images. Sometimes words, finding correct words to send has gotten easier now.'*Sometimes is more often than one would think.* she agreed sourly. *I can't ever seem to say anything right at all, so you're still one up on at least one of us here.* she put her chin in her hand. *You find a lot of wild herbs out here?*Sei nodded, though he never thought himself good at finding correct words.
'Herbs all over, in certian areas. Sometimes is good to let them grow in place they belong.' That and some herbs and him didn't agree on where to grow. These ones he had difficulty growing. He glanced at her, for a moment, she seemed to be relaxing now that they were talking.
'You grow herbs also, correct?' *Yes. Or rather, Chae and I do...did. Sometimes.* she half shrugged and half smiled with her eyes. *Plants are not as uncomplicated as people think, but are less complicated than people's thoughts. At least that's what I always say to them. They haven't argued back yet.* she crossed her legs. *So what are you making that you need them? Or are you taking cuttings?*'People can be compliced, yes. Sometimes best not to over think what another is thinking.' Yeah, he should talk... he could hear other's thoughts if he didn't try to shut that off.
'Gathering for dinner, and to dry for later,' he answered her. 'Good in stew.'She nodded. *You need meat for stew. You must be pretty self sufficient. Is it nice living out here alone?* she asked with wistfulness. *Not having to deal with people, and their emotions and ... things like that?*'Can be,' he answered truthfully. 'Can also be... boring. ' He looked at her again. 'You were normally alone, in old life. You want to be alone again...?' She was taken aback. *How did you know that?* she started to rise to her feet, concerned anew about possible traps. *Who told you?*Sei remained calm, hopeing his calmness would help calm her, and took a seat on the ground. 'I remember much of old life,' his statement was followed by images of her, in a palace. Most of the images were of her as a child doing exercises and training with wooden weapons, and a few were of her as an adult. She opened her mouth and closed it, grateful that the mask hid her total surprise. *What else do you remember?* she asked. *I- yes, I practiced alot alone. I had to...work twice as hard to be noticed and promoted.*'Many things, but not everything,' he said softly. 'Yes, I know. I remember that your mother was proud of you. Worked very hard.... little too hard sometimes.' He smirked lightly at her. 'Were good at stragity games, also.'*My mother?* She repeated faintly. He was like some sort of magician pulling memories, and not rabbits from a hat. *You knew my mother?*
She was completely seated again now, total shock and confusion melting away to faint hope. Someone who maybe knew what was going on...what had happened and...and maybe just what was wrong with her. Sei waited several minutes for the imformation to sink in. Going too fast wasn't wise, and could be hurtful.
'Yes, I knew her. Knew you also. I don't know what happened at the last party, if you're wondering. All I saw was a bright light.' And mangic being used. He left the last part unsaid. He had an idea of what happened, thanks to Io, but he didn't know the details, so he only said what he remembered.
He also swore off big parties, as soon as he woke up. That statement had left him confused at first and he had spent alot of time thinking over things, which was a way he got most of his memories back. She seemed a touch deflated at the news. *that matches up with what I remember.* she agreed glumly *Doesn't add any more to it, though.*
Filing at least a corroborative story away for further thought, she shook her head. *Why don't I remember you?*He left the question of what happened at the party alone. He didn't know for he wasn't in the area to see what happened. To him, it was as simple as that.
There was a soft smile in Sei's eyes at that question. 'Not many remember me. After a certian time, I stopped coming to the palace. You were young.' *You came out here back then?* she inquired. *But you showed me images as an adult. Did you come back?*Sei nodded. 'Came back now and then. Checked up on you and a few others.' She wanted to ask, but didn't. *You didn't think of coming back now to help?* her voice was more curious than condemning. *Things are pretty confusing.*He shook his head, giving Shi the same cartoony images he had given Io. Him surrounded by people and looking paniced, then him, away from all the others, breathing a sigh of relief.
'I know no more about what happend than you,' he said softly.She nodded, threading her arms about her knees and rocking back and forth slightly. *I know how that feels.* She said in response. *Too many people, too much charged energy bolting back and forth. Worse than a ricochet. I wish sometimes that I had a place to hide out....but I just have the garden. That doesn't feel so private anymore though.*
Watching his quietly for a few moments as he continued to dig she added *Even if you don't know what happened then...you seem to know some about now. Don't you? I mean...you remember me, and my mother...but I don't really recall anyone or anything, except in brief disjointed flashes. Mainly about myself. If you were close enough to come visit my mother and myself from your self imposed isolation...why aren't you close enough that I have memories of it?*
Sei thought about it for a moment. 'I left quietly. Didn't have a long good bye. I doubt even my best friend remembers me. My nieces don't,' he answered softly. 'There are somethings that we forget because part of us doesn't want to remember. I was like you. I had jittered memories. But I also had something from the past to help remind me.' The blurry image of a box and photos in it popped gently into Shi's mind. 'I spent many days looking at these. There are somethings I still cannot remember.'
He sat quietly again, studying her a moment with a slight frown on his face. 'You have hard time shutting others out...?'
*I think...it's the other way around.* she answered, a note of anxiety in her voice. *I can't seem to keep myself *in*. When strong emotions...anything happen, it just snowballs. It's like...I make things worse all the time. I wonder what's wrong with me, but anytime Im with people, I upset them. Just being with anyone is torture, I have to hold my breath to try and not bother them, and they still end up becoming unbalanced. I-I hurt them.* she hugged her knees harder *That's when I wish I could just have a place to hide out.*Sei was remembering more about his training, or rather, watching young Shi train in the old days. Things her mother and said and tought were coming back to him the more they spoke.
'It is not you that makes things bad, but rather them. Your abilities able you to buff other's emotions,' He chose his words carefully, his consentration showing in his eyes, as he did not make contact with her. 'True, you can project your own emotions into another, good, bad or claming. I remember your mother taught you how to dampen the ability, unless you wanted it to happen. You can even use it to detect harmful people, or harmful intentions. She blinked. *I try to control it.* she shrugged lightly. *It doesn't work. Only staying away seems to work.* she looked at him oddly *Why don't I affect you that way? *Sei smirked at her. 'Because I am calm. You only make me calmer.'
He tilted her again then reached out a hand, placeing it on her forehead. Gently he moved a memory he had into her, so that it would stay clearer in her mind. The memory was of her training by her mother, from what Sei saw. Some of which was about how to control her energies, bringing them around herself, like a sheild, then streech it out from person to person, if need be. There were also meditation exercises for her to do, inorder to learn how to do these things.
All of this was in her mother's voice.
Once the memory was done, Sei removed his hand. He flexed it abit with a frown. He was going to have to remember not to do that kinda thing with his mask on. He was naturally a telepath and somethings came easier to him, yet with the limitations of the mask, others things were more difficult. She said softly, eyes cast down to hide their brightness *You remember my mother's voice. I heard her talking to me.*
she considered the memories carefully, as one would a precious treasure *I used to be able to do that?*Sei nodded. 'That, more, yes.'
He wondered vaguely what it was like to forget the voices of the ones he loved, then tried not to laugh at himself. He had forgotten, once.
But to forget and never be able to remember...? Yes, that would be a sad thing. He reminded himself that's why he often ran their voices, sayings and the like through his mind. He didn't want to forget them again. *I miss her.* she laughed. *Ten minutes ago I didn't even know her...and I miss her.*
Looking up she hugged her knees. *I really want to hug you right now. But that probably isn't a good idea.*He laughed at that one, getting to his feet. 'Don't mind either way. But dinner is calling, so I must go. You have someone you need to talk too, I believe.' He offered her a hand up, holding his walking stick in the other hand. She stared at him blankly, letting him pull her to her feet. *I do?*
Then she threw her arms around his neck.Sei give her a breif hug, at the same time pulling up the image of her chosen, mentally winceing. Yeah, he over did it.
'Don't be like me and advoid problems.' He said, softly again and pulled away. She caught the flinch. *Are you allright?* she asked suddenly. He nodded again, having a sheepish look as he rubbed the back of his head. 'Done too much today, that is all. Nothing rest wont cure. Is my own doing.' *Thank you for doing.*she answered, hugging him again. *You will be allright getting home?*He smirked again, backing more into the woods. Dinner was sounding really good right now. 'Course, lived here long time.'
He nodded once more to her and headed deeper into the woods, to where his home was.
But maybe you need to hit bottom before you can start to climb back up. I met a new masque. One that hides out from the camp. He says I knew him, and vice versa. But he did not seem surprised I had no recollection.
He gave me a precious gift. He gave me the voice of my mother. And perhaps a way to finally stop harming the people I am supposed to love and protect.
I have to get it together and try. But how to do so without being around others....
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:16 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:27 pm
Tired. Very. Tired. And achey. And sore. And all sorts of words that went along that theme. Like playing telephone with painful descriptions that only got worse.
In retrospect, she may have overdone it.
Slightly.
Wearily, she shoved the door open, hoping to get a few hours sleep but stopped seeing the others there.
Great. Not what she was in the mood for right now.
Nika shrugged, 'I suppose I could practise... or atleast try.'
'Glad it's more comfortable.' He laughed, 'Peeing standing up isn't-
He stopped short when Shi entered the room, embarrassed. No, he hadn't just been talking about peeing. He had not. There was a chance she hadn't heard.
Sei's shoulders shook in laughter. 'No, to send images to others, mentally. Would be messy for you to pee while standing.' He nodded, fully aware another had joined at the wrong part of the convo.
'Hello, Shiva.' He greeted, smirking again.
Io was laughing so hard that she couldn't respond. She waved her hello as she wiped away a tear.
Too late to turn around now. *Hello.* she answered. *Sorry to interrupt.*
I was really just looking for a place to not be near anyone so I could let my body fall apart in peace and quiet.
Of course, she couldn't say that.
*I didn't realize there were people here. I should have checked first. Please don't let me interrupt your dicussion.*
She probably would have found it amusing, at any other time. *I would like to use the shower if you don't mind?*
'Go for it, Ice just brought in fresh towels and new shampoo.'
Sei just continued to smirk under the mask, looking at Nika. 'What's wrong, Nika?'
*It is appreciated.* she nodded slightly to them all, eyes skipping past Nika's quickly. Walking to the other room, she forced herself not to limp or slump as she wanted to. *I won't be long, would you like me to bring tea in for you?*
Nika's cheaks were so dark, that he was sure everybody could see. He leaned farther back into his seat, his eyes closed.
Opening them he smiled, hesitantly at Shi, trying to ignore Io's and Sei's laughter.
'Hey...' His voice squeaked a little, with embarassment and he clamped his mouth shut.
He glanced at Sei, 'I'd rather not talk about it.'
'No thanks, I'll get something sooner or later.' Io said, still grinning
'Tea sounds good for me,' Sei said, no longer smirking, but grinning now under the mask.
'I'd have thought you would know all about girls and boys peeing differently by now, Nika...' Io said, grinning evilly.
*Understood.* she answered. She put the water on for tea before slipping in to the shower. Turning the water scalding, she felt a blush stealing over her skin from the heat. She was hoping it would loosen her muscles, but she feared she may have pulled something.
She wasn't about to admit that yet.
For a few minutes she stood there, they scrubbed herself down and lathered her hair. When it was hanging in silken strands about her shoulders, she stepped out, towelled herself briskly and then threw a long t-shirt and shorts on, then wrapped a large bath robe about her. Maybe it would be less obvious what shape she was in this way.
Coming back out, she prepared the tea and brought enough cups out for all...just in case.
*Would you like anything else?* she inquired, looking almost longingly at the chair she wanted to sink in to.
'I'll get it, Shi. You look like you're about to fall over.' Io said, almost jumping to her feet and heading for the kitchen before Shiva could reply.
Nika shook his head at Io, laughing weakly, 'Hush you and just for the record I do know all about boys and girls peeing.'
Nika watched as Shi got the tea for everyone. She must have been training again. He sighed. She looked sore.
'Shi, you can sit.' he smiled, concerned.
She flushed a deep hue, glad the mask hid it. She had thought she was hiding it better than that. Embarrassed as well for Nika's sake she said *Sei, what about sending pictures mentally. How do you do it? Do you just project the image across? Or is it merely there in your mind already and you allow others a bit of access to see it there?*
Sei shrugged. 'Create the image and send it. Was already a telepath before the curse,' He stated, watching her a little then looked to Io and smirked. "i'll go see if Io needs help.' He got up and followed Io into the kitchen room.
Shi shifted awkwardly, but allowed herself to melt into the soft chair with a muffled sigh. Tilting her head back slightly, she just let her mescles relax.
Nika glanced around the room, nervously, noticing that Io and Sei had left. He glanced at Shiva.
They had done that on purprose. He was sure of it. Willing hsis face to go back to it's natural color and hoping that he wouldn't stutter or squeak, Nika smiled at Shiva.
'How are you?'
Yep. The best way to start a comfortable conversation that wasn't about pee.
Closing her eyes briefly, she willed them to remain passive. As anti-social as she may have been feeling, she had no cause to be rude. To Nika...or anyone.
*Fine.* she answered with a brief twinkle in her gaze. *I enjoyed being outside today. How are you?*
'I'm fine,' he paused, 'I like being outside. You know? It smells good.'
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, fell onto his back and stretching out on the couch. It felt good to stretch, he let the breath out, slowly.
She grinned *Everything about outside is good.* she agreed. *Back to nature in all elements.*
That was the closest that she could tastefully tease about their earlier conversation.
Nika laughed, but didn't say anything, using an arm to sheild his eyes from the light.
'You've been training?' he grinned, lifting his arm slightly so that he could see her.
*Every day.* she affirmed. *There are things that only I can do. And I need to be ready to do them. I know that is not a welcome thought to many here. But I will no longer rationalize what I feel I need to do for the comfort of others.*
She was going to leave it at that, but common courtesy demanded more. *I apologize if that makes you uncomfortable, Nika.*
He watched her closely for a few moments. He thought that he understood what she was saying. Did it really make him uncofrtable? No, he reasoned, it didn't. Sometimes, he just felt a little overprotected, almost helpless.
'It doesn't,' his eyes curved into a smile, 'Heck, Shi? You know what? I could probably afford to learn a thing or two from you.'
He let the arm that was covering his eyes fall to the side and winked at her, 'That is, if you'll teach me?'
She grinned slightly. *You could probably learn more than a few things. Of course, so could I. But Im not sure if you want me as your teacher. I think...Im a bit relentless.* she wiggled her toes and winced. *I ache in places I didn't know I had muscles for.*
'I'm sure I'd love to have you as a teacher,' Nika grinned and nodded, sitting up again.
'You're a hard-worker,' he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'Where does it hurt the most?'
A thought struck him and he lifted an eyebrow at her, 'Have you ever pulled something?'
She sighed with a smile *Will you still think that when I roll you out of bed at sunrise for a run?*
Leaning back she stretched her legs slightly. *All over. Pick a spot and I likely hurt there. I think I might have pulled a calf muscle. Its no big deal.*
[lor=darkblue]Nika laughed and shrugged, 'I guess we'll know that when it happens.'
Nika shook his head. He could only imagine how sore she felt.
'Well,' he paused, his eyes twinkling mischeviously at her, 'I may reconsider learning from you... Not because of you, though, but because I don't think I could handle being sore all of the time. I've been told that I complain a lot. Gee says so, anyway.'
*I don't mind complaints.* she answered. I just hope that the results would outweigh the complaints.* she wiggled her toes again and sighed. *I wonder what Im trying to prove, sometimes.*
Nika grinned, watching her toes with interest. Suddenly, giving her a foot massage struck him as an excellent idea. He was sure that her feet wouldn't even smell bad because she had just had a shower.
Turning the thought over in his head, considering how she might react, he replied.
'I couldn't say. Who are you trying to prove something to? Yourself? Or somebody else?'
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Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2005 7:38 pm
*Im not entirely sure. I just feel the need to keep moving and doing things. I feel sometimes that if I stand still for too long that something horrible is going to happen.*
'You do?' he looked at her in surprise. He had met people, mostly from Gee's family, who enjoyed being busy... but not because they thought that something horrible was going to happen.
'Like what?'
*Im not entirely sure.* she said softly. *But it almost feels like when you stand still for too long, the whole world begins to cave in around you. It's not there when Im doing something, or even meditating...it's just a feeling.*
He listened quietly, understanding -if only a little- what she was trying to say. The way she described it reminded him of the way he felt when somebody was being too protective.
He understood why, but it was more his desire to be independant that caused him to feel the way he did.
'I think...' he paused and leaned backwards in his seat, 'I think I understand. Is it almost like a claustrophic feeling?'
She nodded silently. That was as good an approximation as any.
Whew. It was too quiet. Nika squirmed a little in his seat. He had been alone with Shiva before. Many times. But this time it felt different.
He leaned forwards and tapped his fingers against the cofee table, at a loss as to what to say or do, for that matter. He had tossed the foot masage idea out the window.
'Is there a movie you would like to watch?' he turned his head to look at her, reaching to the side and grabbing the tv remote.
She widened her eyes slightly. *im sorry* she immediately apologized. *Iva made things uncomfortable again. I should go and let you have some peace here.*
Nika stared at her in disbelief and then hastily hurried on.
'Don't go, Shi. I mean, unless you don't want to stay. You don't make things uncomfortable, really. I like being around you, honestly. I think it has more to do with me...'
His eyes curved into what he hoped was a comforting smile.
*What do you mean?* she asked. *There's nothing wrong with you...*
Nika chuckled and shook his head, 'I know.'
'You remember the first time we talked? About how being around you affects people? Well... Oh, I'm not sure how to say this.'
Truthfully, he didn't even know what he was going to say and it frightened him. When he went to speak, intending to say something, he knew that what he had meant to say wouldn't come out.
He was afraid that she might actually leave after he spoke. She was skittish and the last thing he wanted to do was scare her away from him.
'The truth is, that the very thought of you affects me. When others casually mention you in a conversation... I stop what I'm doing.'
He forced himself to slow down.
'I guess, what I'm saying is that my feelings for you affect the way I act around you.'
She stared. She couldn't help it. Several things came to the front at once and she started to speak, stopped, and then just looked at him again.
*W....why?* she asked. *Is it something I did? I-I'm sorry if it's disturbed you, whatever it is. I know that I've aggravvated you and sometimes made you angry...*
She was babbling. She couldn't help it.
He almost laughed and he would have if he hadn't been so shocked by what had just come out of his own mouth.
'Oh no, Shi!' Nika shook his head, his tone was pleading, 'You misunderstood me. You didn't do anything.'
He reached a hand out towards her, not sure what else to say, trusting whatever came out of his mouth anyways.
'I enjoy being around you. The way I feel when when I'm around you or thinking about you... It's a good feeling.'
That was not what she had been expecting to hear. Her eyes flew wide and comically so. That she had really heard that from him seemed impossible. She had to have not been paying attention. That was it. She was hearing things now. Or projecting...or...
*why?* it was the first thought out of her head. Why would he even need to LOOK her way? He never had before...always his daughters or...
He froze, not sure how to respond. What had he expected? He wasn't even sure of what was coming out of his own mouth. Shi hadn't really shown any interest in him. Not in that way.
'Why?' he half-chuckled and half-gasped, running a hand through his hair. The way he saw it, he had two options. To either run... or stay. As simple as it sounded he was having the hardest time deciding.
'Can't say,' he moved to the edge of his seat, preparing to stand, 'cause I'm not really sure.'
*I shouldn't have asked* she whispered.
Nika tapped his fingers on the cofee table again, chewing on the inside of his cheaks. When she spoke Nika glanced at her and realized that he was not going to leave.
He didn't want to. Not really.
'Shi?' he mumbled, not looking her straight in the eye, 'are you okay? I'm sorry... I...'
*Please don't apologize.* she answered quickly. Too quickly. *You shouldn't ever have to apologize. Not to me. I don't deserve it. It's my fault this all happened. I was supposed to protect everyone and I didn't. I-I failed. I failed everyone.* she shook her head *You wanted to know why I feel like the world is caving in? It's because I know...if I couldn't protect us last time...what hope do I have of helping us now?*
She had almost wailed the last out.
His throat tightened so that he found it hard to speak.
'You didn't fail, Shi!' it was nothing but a mumble, 'It wasn't your fault. It... was... mine. I... I... could have done something. If there had only been a little more time.'
He was willing himself not to break down. Hoping. It wouldn't do for Shi to see him like that. She would probably end up apologizing again and then... the situation would only be worse.
*No.*she insisted. *You didn't do anything wrong. You never did...everything was always just right when you were there. It was the rest...it was me...* she shook her head in frustration. *I was never good enough!*
'But... Shi...' he could suddenly talk properly again but his voice wasn't normal. It was thick, and hinted that he was on the verge of tears himself. Clueless as to what to say, or do, he did the only thing he could think of.
'Come here?' he asked, holding his arms out to her. A smile curved his eyes, that were rimmed with tears he wasn't going to let fall. He was confident that if she chose to simply stay where she was, he wouldn't react. He would just sit there and listen to her talk. If she wanted to talk.
Any hopes she had of grace were long since gone. Between her own gaze obscured by moisture as well as the never far forgotten aches and pains, movement in general was just not welcome.
But she didn't care for decorum at all in the moment. Launching herself out of the chair, she threw her arms around his neck and cried her frustration into his shoulder. She didn't care. She wouldn't care right now about that voice that was telling her already that this was wrong. EVERYTHING was wrong, so why not this too?
She just wa nted someone to hold her and tell her that she wasn't a total screwup. That she wasn't losing her mind. That she wasn't going to fail again when she was needed most.
And that someone would still care if she did.
The moment she wrapped her arms around his neck, he responded by wrapping his arms around her. Nika let out a shaky, relieved breath. He hadn't been sure that she would come to him.
'Shi,' he murmured, rubbing her back with the palm of his hand, 'S'alright, sweetheart..'
He was comforting her the best way he knew how, besides offering her some tea. He smiled.
It wasn't allright. Nothing was allright. Nothing was RIGHT. The words chased themselves crazily in circles in her mind. She wanted to figure this all out. And she did NOT want to...
Were things always this complicated? Since when?
*it's not allright.*she asserted quietly. *But Im tired of thinking about it. No more thinking right now. Just no more.*
She was probably strangling him. Wouldn't that be a nice image for Sei and Io to walk in on...
'Fine,' he agreed, 'thinking gives me headaches, anyways.'
He continued to rub her back and slowly began to relax. It felt so good to just hold her.
He wasn't thinking. Even if the position was a little awkward.
'Shi?' he grinned, pulling his head back, 'Is it alright if we switch positions? Or my neck will be sore tomorrow.'
*Oh* she said suddenly. *Of course!* unwrapping from around his neck, she smiled slightly.
Nika looked from her, to the couch, trying to figure out how they could be more comfortable. He spotted a large, pink, fluffy blanket sitting underneath the cofee table.
Gently, he pushed on Shi's shoulder and shifted her to the side. Nika leaned forewards, pulled the blanket out and unfolded it.
'Do you like pink?' he grinned at her, threw a corner of the blanket around his shoulder, spread it out and lifted the other side up, so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and they would both be wrapped in the blanket.
*Normally I hate pink. But I like warm so I'll overlook it.* Squeezing in under the blanket she just sighed quietly.
Nika laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, 'Would you like to watch a movie or something? A comedy, perhaps?'
*Im not a big TV person. But whatever you want on. I'd roll you out of here for a run right now, except Im not in shape for that.*
He laughed, 'Heck, if you're not in shape for it, I'm certainly not.'
*You could be...*she teased.
'Probably,' he agreed, laughing, 'So... have you agreed to teach me then? Whip me into shape?'
*Only if you promise to stick with it.* she replied in a suddenly somber voice. *and not hate me for not showing you any mercy.*
'Aww Shi...' he turned his head and grinned at her, 'I could never hate you.'
She grinned soberly. *I'll remind you of that when I get you out of bed tomorrow at sunrise.*
Nike turned his head when Galilee walked in, his eyes turned up in a smile.
'Hello, Gali.'
He winked at Shi, 'I don't think that will be a problem... as long as its your face I'm waking up to.'
She snickered quietly. *I hope you're a morning person.* turning her gaze to Gali she squinted her eyes slightly. *Hello.*
'Actually...' he paused, considering what being the time element meant, 'I'm not sure it matters what time, really.'
THe had another thing to think about and work on. Recalling that the last time he had used his powers he had felt exhausted, Nika decided that he would have to practise.
She nodded. *Allright. I like confidence.* Hugging him briefly, she let a glint of mischief escape her eye and then said *I'll see you tomorrow, then.*
'You're leaving?' he returned her hug and lifted an eyebrow at the look in her eyes.
'How's Zahar, Gali? I haven't talked to her in awhile... Actually, I haven't talked to her much at all.'
She nodded. *I need to go lay down, I think. Somewhere I can try to stretch out this pulled muscle. Can't run if I hobble like an old woman, right? Besides, a full night's sleep is a good thing. You should get some too.*
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 2:40 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:05 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:07 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:14 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 3:35 pm
Ice Queen Io nodded, not saying anything as they headed down the path. The homebase finally came into view, making her sigh in relief. The cub was even heavier unconscious. "We probably need to feed them..." She said, glancing over at the others and inwardly sighing at the look in She's eyes. "A Rade pack is a reflection on the leader. They do what they're told to do. And if we can figure out how to tell them what to do, then we'll have some powerful allies." She looked around, catching sight of Ice working on a fence with Scagg, and headed for them. Ice sighed, wiping the sweat off her forehead and glancing over at the people heading towards them, a large, but not full grown Rade with them... and... cubs? She frowned slightly. Chae blinked, lifting her head slightly. "Shi's back." was all she said to Uta, getting to her feet. "Excuse me a moment, please." Walking to the back of the garden, she could just see the figures approaching. Her desire to wave greeting stilled. The emotion she felt was not elation or even relief from Shi, but a deep seated and smoldering ire. That...wasn't normal. Approaching the group, her gaze was slightly apprehensive. Green_Eyes Nika sighed and followed the others, smiling politely at Ice and Scagg in spite of the feelings he was experiencing. Not all of them caused by Shi's anger which he believed was partly aimed at him.
He took the cub from under his arm and handed it to Ice, relieved to have it away from him. Ever since they'd left the ruins something, he wasn't sure what, had been playing at the edge of his mind. The feeling grew stronger the farther he was from the ruins. All at once, he knew even if he didn't know what it was, that the feeling was the reason he'd wanted to go to the ruins in the first place.
He wanted to be alone. Nika blinked at the sudden realization. He needed to think things through.
'I've gotta go...' he mumbled, trying to act as if everything was alright. Moving quickly, Nika headed towards the forest and then broke out at a run when he reached the first white stone, of many.G_E wandered towards the group, having hastily put all of her suplies away when she realized that Nika was back, just in time to see her boy run off. "What's up...?" she asked, eyeing Charlie and the cubs cautiously.
Something she did? Reviewing her behavior, she wasn't sure. She had been honest in her dislike, had that offended him?
It didn't seem so. He hadn't acted angry. She hadn't felt it, anyway. Perhaps she had merely not been listening.
*Nika-* she began, but he was already gone. Casting a troubled glance at Chae, who was eyeing her with an unreadable expression, she said *Im sorry. Please excuse us both.* and turned. *Don't trust them.* she admonished, following the path the other had taken with more quiet and contemplative footsteps. Trinityblue Charlie came up to where Ice was, not seeing TB around, which was normal. "Cub's Baron was going to kill. Their parents moved against him, so he had them killed." He sighed then, giving her an almost tired look. The other two masked teens had run off as soon as they got there, and turned over the cubs. He wasn't surprised about that.
"Look, I know you don't like Rade, nor does anyone here like us. But these little guys need a good home now and I can't do that much for them, yet. I know you and Trin got homes for the Masque... do ya think, possibly, you could find a home for them too?" He gave her a hopeful look now, knowing he was probably asking alot of her, but he didn't ask things often. Ice Queen Ice blinked, looking at the purple squirming cub in her arms, then at the unconscious one in Io's. Then she sighed. "Not many people will be happy with this." She commented dryly, trading the squirming cub for the unconscious one. Io made a face at her. She glanced over at Chae and Gee. "You two have been here from the beginning. Or nearly so. You know what the Rade have done to us. And I suppose you know what we've done to them. What do you say?" Io ignored her, the sound of singing making her distracted. She didn't know that voice... It sounded like a child. Without a thought she tucked the purple cub under her arm and headed into the village, curious. She paused, catching sight of Etsu in front of a house, and smiled, heading for her. "That's a nice song." She said, crouching down in front of the little girl. "I'm Io. And you are?" Chae shook her head, tearing her gaze from where Shi had fled to. "I'm not entirely sure how well my opinions merit here..." she answered "but Im more of the thought that nurture and not nature is the overall mitigating factor. Apparently you and Trin thought so as well at one time." she motioned towards the elder Rade "or he'd not be here chumming around. The question would be, how could we ensure that 1. The cubs are raised in a way that is not conducitve towards violence 2. The rest of the colonists can tell them apart from the wild Rade 3. The rest of the colonists CARE to tell them apart from the wild Rade." She sighed. "The first answer and the last are ongoing things. The 2nd...I would recommend some sort of collar or tag or bracelet or something they wear. But I don't expect the Masque children to like it anymore than the colonists do. Shi absolutely doesn't approve of them." That was putting it mildly. She didn't know how much her "chosen" didn't "approve"... Ice Queen "You make a good point." Ice said, nodding and wiping her forehead with her forearm again. She walked over to Charlie, picking up the pinkish purple female by the scruff, still holding the unconscious one in her arms. "Do you think you can back your words up with your actions?" It wasn't as if SHE wanted to raise the batch. The sooner she got them off her hands, the better. Rade weren't her favorite creatures, to say the least. *************** Io jerked, heading for the unconscious winged creature before Etsu could respond. She had to juggle the cub so she could crouch down next to her, but somehow managed. "Hey... are you okay?" "What? Me? How?" She said, the theory bubble bursting and throwing her back into reality. Staring, she watched Ice scruff the one kit as she talked and got a sinking feeling in her stomach. If she didn't turn around and walk away, Shi'd never forgive her. Any sort of help would be fraternization with an awful enemy. As if she wasn't having enough trouble trying to communicate with Shi now? Ice Queen "What you just said." Ice replied, shrugging. Those cubs were HEAVY! "Keep her from violence, put a collar on her, and try to get people accepting them. She'll need a lot to eat before she can hunt for herself, and you'll have to find a place to house her when she grows." Then she paused, turning the cub and looking. "Yeah, it's a she." That earned her a dirty look. "We've got to find someone to take care of them. We might not like them, but they're better off here than dead... I hope." "Oh good gracious." Chae said in exasperation. "You want me to put Shiva and this girl under the same roof? It's not like Shi's been USING that roof, but this will make sure she never comes home..." Staring at the cub who stared right back, she sighed. "I hate you, sometimes. Fine, I'll take her." Ice Queen Ice smirked. "I get that." She said in reply, shrugging. "If you want you can snap her neck and get it over with. Or give it to someone else to take care of. But I get the feeling I'm already going to be stuck with one of them, myself." She glanced down, sighing at the sight of the still sleeping cub in her arms. "I've killed enough of them... I won't kill again unless they attack first." She finished, not sounding very happy about that fact, but accepting it. Ice Queen Io blinked, then picked the cub up so she was looking in her eyes. "You're making her nervous. Sleep." The cub fell asleep as easy as that. "Shhh, it's alright. No one's going to hurt you." She told the female, reaching out a hand. "We just want to know what you were running from. And if you're okay." "Snap her neck?" she nearly gagged at the words. "Don't be ridiculous. That's savage. Allow me to at leat gripe a bit since I'm doing it though!" she took the cub into her arms, grunting a bit at the weight. "If you hurt anyone though, young kit, I may find a savage streak in me yet." Green_Eyes If he hadn't been in such a hurry, Nika would have slowed down and found that Shi had followed him. He wasn't slowing down, though, not a bit. He wasn't as fast as he would have liked to be and it took him longer to get to his destination then he would have liked.
Breathing heavily, Nika finally slowed and pushed the branches of the tree - the one that hid the miniature lake he'd found for Shi- aside. Nothing had changed since the last time he was there. How long had it been?
Too long.
He sighed and sat at the edge of the lake, stared out at the water and tried to remember. G_E sighed and scratched her nose, staring at the part of the forest Shi and Nika had dissapeared into. She hadn't spoken to her boy much since he'd grown and she missed him. Even though, she knew that he wouldn't want her to follow them. "I don't have that big of a problem with the cubs staying with us as long as they don't hurt anyone. Charlie turned out alright... I guess..."
Stepping out quietly from the trees, she let her foot scrape the stone with enough noise to alert him.
*May I sit with you?* she entreated softly.Green_Eyes He jumped slightly at the sound Shi's foot made against the stone and relaxed when she spoke.
'Of course, Shi,' Nika glanced at her over his shoulder and his eyes crinkled into a welcoming smile, 'I... I just wanted to think. There's something else important I haven't remembered.'
What could he say? He didn't even know how he knew that there was something else he needed to remember but there was something. He was sure of it.
*It's allright.* she answered. *I didn't want to interrupt you. It's enough that I'm here. Nothing else needs to be said.*
She hadn't remembered much at all. That saddened her a bit. Although what saddened her more was the whole sorry mess that their lives were at this point. Fire and Light had caused this to happen between them and their various needs and circumstances. But she wasn't sure that ... maybe they had somehow deserved this to happen?
Or was she just looking again for a deeper meaning to wash away the embarrassment of the truth?Green_Eyes It was warm out. Nika smiled, remembering that the last time he'd been there with Shi it had been cold and the water had been just as chilly. The sun was begining to set. He lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the orange light and then looked into it.
The day had gone by quickly. He sighed and gently took Shiva's hand. Had it really only been a few hours since they'd learned that Fire and Light were the reasons they were trapped in masks? The reasons he couldn't remember? Nika rubbed his eyes with his free hand and looked back at the water.
Did he even want to remember?((I've gotta go. :3 *waves* Bye.))
It would all be allright in the end...wouldn't it?She hefted the cub in her arms with some awkwardness. Ice seemed to always be THROWING weird things at her. She wondered if she just had that kind of face--the "Im a target" expression that just drew all sorts of things like a magnet. "Is there..anything else I should know about this...other than she's a female, and everyone hates her already?" she asked, as the cub quietly put her head against her neck and gave a large rumble that threatened to cause Chae to drop her. Ice Queen "They eat a lot. They talk, are intelligent, and can be deadly when angered." Ice said, pulling the cub in her arms up so she could look her in the face. "Or afraid. I don't know what these cubs are like, you'll have to find out for yourself. And I think I'll have to order in some extra extra large flea and heart guard meds." Sleepy eyes opened, then widened as if finally realizing who was holding her. The cub was terrified for some reason. "You're not gonna kill me this time, lady!!" She yowled, wiggling wildly to get loose. "I'm a killer!! A killer I tell you! I'll take you down!" Ice blinked. "Now I know why you were knocked out." Chae snorted her amusement, startling the one in her arms briefly before it...she settled back down. It seemed her own did not have the same panic. "Well. If you were going to be killed, I think you'd be dead already." she said, as the kitten she was holding released another rumble. Ice Queen "She--she's just going to wait until I'm not expecting it!" The cub announced, her tails swishing wildly as she struggled some more. "Do you know who she is?? She's--She's--" Her voice lowered to a dramatic whisper. "Ice Queen." "yes. I know who it is." she answered. "And the last time I checked, she wasn't making lampshades out of skin, so you should be safe for now. If she wanted to kill all of you, whether now or later on, she wouldn't be finding homes for all of you. Trust me, I don't do cooked kitty for dinner."a Ice Queen Io glanced down at Etsu, shrugging. "Move her into one of the houses." She said, waving as she walked away. The cub paused, her eyes going wide. "She--she's fattening us up!" Ice choked, then smirked. "You've figured out my ploy already! Alas, I suppose the barbecue will have to wait for the next batch of cubs we bring in." "It had better!" The cub growled. "Unless it was antalope or something... I'm kinda hungry..." Ice rolled her eyes, glancing up as Io walked towards them, sans cub. "I've found a home for the first cub." Io said, earning a nod. "That makes three with homes, then." "Three?" "Yep. Meet your new housemate." Io groaned. "Of all of them, why her?" "Not a clue. But I'm going to put these two in the play room while I try to find a guardian for the boy." Ice said, taking both cubs and heading for her house.
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 10:00 pm
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