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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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 Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 12:33 am
Nev stumbled from his bedroom before anything more happened. When she'd been in his head it had been so easy to remember...but now...now he could touch her, hold her, kiss- he cut that thought off. If nothing else, Nev would be a gentleman, he refused to allow himself to hurt her. They had only just found each other, only started to work through the hurt. They'd both been alone for a long time...far to long. On top of that Ellie wouldn't be able to understand yet, he knew she could comprehend that he cared for her...but anything more...he was afraid he'd scare her.
Nev threw the pillow and blanket on the couch and sat down heavily putting his head in his paws and rubbed his temples. He was tempted to go into the bathroom and get his meds, but that would require him to go back through his bedroom, and he couldn't bare the thought of Ellie seeing him do that right now...besides she'd probably find out soon enough anyway. <******** it...” he mumbled and punched his pillow down and then flopped over on it kicking the blanket to the end of the couch before closing his eyes.
Nev was stuck in his nightmare again. Sprinting down the hall, screaming her name. Only in this version he never hit the door. Just an endless hallway in which he could just barely make her out, not the storage unit but Ellie herself being led away to the darkness. “ELLIE!!!” he screamed chasing after her. “ELLIE!!!” his voice hysterical. He reached out towards her and....
Nev bolted upright in a cold sweat, gasping for air. He scrambled off the couch and ran to his bathroom flipping on every light he came across. He ducked into the bath room and turned on the water in the sink. He coughed and heaved as the after effects of his nightmare ran through his system. He trembled violently and his paws shook badly as he opened the medicine cabinet and tried to find the right bottle of medication. He finally manged to find it and fumbled it open shoving the pills into his mouth and swallowed them. He then leaned heavily against the sink panting and shaking. It was at least a minute more before he managed to look over towards the door.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:11 pm
Sometime before curling up, Ellie found a button-up shirt of Neve's, and exchanged it for the sweater, using that as a partial blanket. To keep herself from stumbling over the ends, she tied them in a knot before curling up. She twitched nervously, restless, yet determined to stay because Neve was unsure...and thought it best if they slept apart. She flicked her tail, trying to take comfort in the fact that she was surrounded by his belongings and scent.
Concentrating as hard as she was on not moving to flee down the hall and curl up next to him, she hardly noticed at first that the bathroom light was flicked on and the sound of running water came suddenly. The sound of Neve's heaving breaths were what caught her attention, and she went still. Eyes wide and ears straining, she slowly crept from the small pile of clothes, the white shirt she had on now contrasting against the darkness of her fur.
She watched in trembling silence as he 'fixed' himself...and when he looked towards the door where she sat, wraith-like and silent, she bit her bottom lip. "L-Lee..? A-Are you o-okay?"
With the look in his eyes, she didn't know if she should go to him or not. She shivered lightly, curling her tail around herself in attempt to calm down, but couldn't. She was completely concerned for him.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:35 pm
Nev stared at her almost unbelieving, thinking she was just another delusion of his half broken mind. "Ellie...?" he said his voice trembling. "Are...are you real...?" he whispered pushing himself away from the sink the pill bottle slipping out of his paw and tumbling to the floor spilling his medication. He shook badly and took a few halting steps towards her before he collapsed. "Oh, Ellie...Ellie Ellie Ellie, my baby doll, my sweetheart, my love..." he looked up at her with liquid blue eyes and then covered them with his paws as he lay moaning on the floor. "Work damn you...work...I don't want to feel anymore...I don't want to remember..." he sobbed. "Ellie...Ellie where are you...?" he called out miserably unable to move.
He then curled himself in to a tight ball and whimpered as he waited for the drugs to take effect. Once they did everything would be fine...or at least as fine as they'd always been lately...he'd go back to sleep and wake up in the morning, work, and continue his miserable lonely existence, because no matter how many times his rational mind tried to tell him that Ellie was standing in the door way, the part of him that was lost insisted she wasn't...and that part always won when he was like this...
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:12 pm
Ellie shuddered, eyes wide and nearly unblinking, before she darted forwards with a shocked cry as both the bottle of pills and Neve fell to the floor. "Lee!"
She stared down at him as his bleary blue eyes looked back up into her green ones. She panicked inside, the trembling within her muscles growing more violent as she frantically tried to decide what to do.
"L-Lee!" She squeaked again, shifting to put her small paws upon his shoulders and give him a good, brisk shake. "Liam..! ...Agent Nevada! To your feet!"
She didn't know if the shaking of his shoulders had worked or not, and she didn't know if she had the commanding tone to pull it off, but...maybe...maybe instinct would kick in and he'd be back upon his feet so she could make him look. Make him see.
"Neve! I'm right h-h-here! Wh-Why else w-we-were you out on the couch?!" She cried, breaths coming in short gasps before she gripped his shoulders, wincing and flinching as she raised her paw, hoping at the very least that a good smack or two would snap him out of it. "LIAM! Snap out of it!"
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:26 pm
Nev whimpered as he heard his full title, but obeyed. He'd eventually found it easier to obey than to fight. Fighting meant someone would get hurt...usually it had meant him. He got up and stared at his paws. He still felt broken and empty...but he wasn't sure if that was due to being yelled at or his medication. "Please don't hurt me..." he said quietly. "I'll do whatever you want...just don't hurt me...I just want to see her again...please let me see her...let me see my Ellie..."
His eyes were a bit vacant lost in memories he wanted to forget. "Just don't hurt me anymore..." he whispered.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:38 pm
'They hurt him?!' She shrieked mentally, half in anger, half in anguish as she leapt at him to wind her arms around his neck and cling tightly, pulling herself up to whisper frantically in his ear.
"Neve! I'm here! Th-they can't hurt you anymore. I-I-I won't let them!" She whimpered, nuzzling her cheek against his as she flicked her tail around him, trembling rapidly against him. She had no clue how to break through to him. 'Ordering' him seemed to do no good, so now she tried pleading, ashamed she had raised a paw to his face earlier.
So she clung tightly to him and hoped her sobs and stuttered words would get through to him. She whined softly, murmuring his name and that she was here over and over again, burying her face against his neck whenever she sobbed.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:52 pm
Nev was surprised as someone wrapped their arms around him and clung to him. He slowly wrapped his own arms around the tiny frame and reality slowly began to creep back in, the memories releasing their hold his panic and pain receding. "Ellie...?" he said unsure pushing her away just enough to look into her face. "Ellie..." his eyes grew brighter as he came back to himself. "Oh, Ellie!!!" He pulled her tight to him and nuzzled her in a frantic rush. "My baby doll. Oh, my little baby doll. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't want you see me like that...Oh, Ellie, I'm sorry..." he said. "Please believe me, I don't want to hurt you." he cuddled her tightly to him.
"It was...I just...it hurt to lose you so bad, Baby Doll...it hurt so bad...I'm so sorry...I love you....I love you so much...I don't want to hurt you..." he sobbed.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:04 pm
Ellie whimpered in relief as he seemed to come back to his senses before whinging in distress at the rush of words that spilled from him. She clutched him tighter, reburying her face into his fur, shaking still.
"L-L-Lee, it's o-o-ok-kay!" Her eyes squeezed shut and she loosened her grip just a little to curl them more comfortingly around him, stroking his hair with soothing little sounds that were mingled with her own sobs at his distress. "N-N-Neve, I-I-I kno-ow... It's ok-kay nnow, th-though. Y-Y-You-You're not h-hur-rting me... It's okay..."
She made a small choking sound as she attempted to keep herself somewhat calm, stroking her paws against his hair in an attempt to get him to relax.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:13 pm
Nev took several deep shuddering breaths. "I need to show you...I don't want too...but I need too...So you can understand...so if this happens again and I can't get to my meds you know what to do. I don't have episodes all that often...but...I do have them..." looks ashamed. "I just don't know how to tell you...All I think I can do is show you...because then..." he trailed off and shook his head. "I'm sorry..."
He pulled her tight against him and nuzzled the top of her head. "I love you...I love you so much, Baby Doll...I can't live without you..."
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:30 pm
Ellie nodded softly with a quiet whimper, slowly lowering herself to touch her feet against the floor again.
"T-Tomorrow, Lee...when we f-feel better..?" She questioned, turning to absently pick up the pill bottle and set it upon teh counter, ears flicked backwards to him so she could hear if anything went wrong. Turning back, she motioned to his bed. "L-Lee...it'd be better for you to sssleep now...a-and...no b-buts, ei-either. Y-Your bed n-now. It'ss be-better for you. I-If you want, I-I'll sleep on the couch...b-but you're s-staying here."
Though her voice wavered, she wouldn't let him win this time. He would be staying here, of that she was sure of. And she wanted to stay and soothe him as he slept, but if he didn't want her near him right now...well, she would go to the couch as she said. She swallowed at his words and gently nuzzled him back, curling her tail loosely around him.
"I-I-I c-c-c-couldn't l-live wi-ithout you, eith-ther..."
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:37 pm
Nev nodded. "In the morning then..." he said tiredly. He felt his meds working coupled with just shear exhaustion from his fit. "Don't go...stay with me, please. I don't want to be alone right now." he let out a breath and nuzzled Ellie before scooping her up and taking her over to his bed and setting her down.
He gently climbed up with her and scooted his clothes over and settled himself. He then spread his arms wide and motioned for Ellie to come to him. "Let me hold you?" he asked hopefully.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:43 pm
Ellie nodded with a tiny smile as he asked her to stay. '...maybe...maybe if he stayed before...this might not have happened...' She thought briefly, the smile smoothing out slightly before she was picked up. Clutching him gently, she waited until she was set down before watching and waiting until he was ready to sleep. Her eyes lit up at his hopeful expression, and it was so easy to nod as she grabbed the edge of the blanket, scuttling towards him and into his arms, flicking the blanket up over them both.
They both needed this.
Gently and hesitantly, she nuzzled close to him, stretching her arms up to gently stroke his hair soothingly, hoping to send him into a restful sleep. "Sleep, L-Lee... I won't be going anywhere~"
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:53 pm
Nev pulled her tight to him and nodded sleepily nuzzling the top of Ellie's head. "I'm not going anywhere either, Baby Doll..." he muttered closing his eyes and sighing happily as he drifted off.
~~~
Nev slowly awoke the next morning. He was aware of a warm body in his arms and slowly blinked and looked down into Ellie's face. He smiled and gently nuzzled her kissing the center of her forehead. "Good morning, Baby doll." he muttered pulling her a bit closer and savoring the feel of her next to him. "You alright?" he asked shifting a bit to caress her face.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:09 pm
Night passed somewhat slowly for Ellie, but she didn't mind. She drifted in and out of awareness, content to just mull over the feeling of Neve laying beside her. She smiled secretly to herself as she felt Neve begin to stir beside her, eyes open and gleaming as he looked down at her.
She sighed, content to be pulled closer, and nuzzled him in return. "Good morning, Lee... Y-Yes, I'm fine... What about you?"
Out of deep concern, she curled her tail around him, somewhat hampered by the blanket, but not caring all that much. He had been, after all, extremely shaken up last night. She hadn't forgotten that...and so she chewed on her bottom lip worriedly.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:29 pm
Nev took mental stock and nodded. "I'm alright. I promise. It just happens some times. Its not a big deal anymore." he said. He shifted slightly and flicked his own tail to come across her body. He then looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry I worried you. I just can't...control myself very well when I'm like that...I'm sorry." he shook his head. "I guess I'm not the guy you knew anymore."
He hugged her close and nuzzled her. "I'm sorry again..." he whispered.
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