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 Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:11 pm
"I believe you heard me right on that, but in this case I don't mind repeating it with a few changes. I think I may be falling in love with you, or already be in love with you. Either way it's a chance I'm wanting to take."
Einar smiled at the shyness of the Russian before him, his face and cool, but inside a miniature war raged on in which he was strangling himself with the cords from his own eye patch. He was being kicked and burned and slightly beaten with a wooden cane all because he was speaking before his brain had time to properly form words and sentences.
He knew what he had said was probably so wrong that it was going to damage a lot, probably more than it was going to fix, but he felt like letting Lai know that love was most likely the cause of all of his mixed feelings. After all he couldn't identify whatever it was and since he had never experienced love...
"At least that's what I want to do. Not going to force you or anything."
What a lie. Einar was having such a hard time staying calm, his own body wanting to reject whatever it was he'd eaten earlier all over the place.
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:40 pm
Lai struggled to form words as Einar's washed over him. The man had said he was falling in love with Lai, or was already in love with him. Twice met and already this? How could that be possible? Einar knew next to nothing about him, how could the Norwegian be falling or already in love with him? Lai opened his mouth as though to say something, but shut it as no words formed to be said. The Russian watched the other man's expression. He was so calm looking, but that was a mask and Lai knew it.
His mind had a hard time trying to comprehend what Einar had just said, while his gut feeling was flipping around and around. His heart kept on beating at that fast pace, eating the confusion and other emotions with no stopping. Lai felt weak in the knees and he fell sideways, catching himself on the stone bench before he could sink to the ground. His head turned to survey what he had grabbed, and he realized that both Einar and himself were still in the garden. Lai had been so focused on his inner tremors and Einar that he had all but forgotten the scenery.
As he looked at the bench his eyes trailed away across the lush grass to some leafy deciduous trees with short cement walls at their bases. Inside those were flowers of various sizes and colors; reds, whites, blues, and yellows. For a moment Lai envied them. Flowers had no emotions, no confusion, no voice that struggled to speak for itself at the toughest times. They just blew gently in the breeze and soaked up the sunlight without a care in the world.
After a very brief period Lai looked back to Einar. He was still not relaxed, far from it, but he had to keep communicating. There was no point in losing himself now. The Russian let all of Einar's words soak in as he righted himself and let his mind form pressing questions before speaking.
"Einar...How can you be in love with me if you know next to nothing about me? It does not make sense...I...We have only met twice as you say, and yet I know nothing of you and you of me. How can love form if one does not know the other?" At least, that's how Lai thought love formed. It was how books said it did, so there must be truth somewhere. Lai hoped he didn't sound harsh, he was confused and unsure about how someone could love him. Him! The man whose own father said did not exist and whose mother had readily stated she did not feel any affection for; to her he was nothing more than a porcelain doll...
"Plus, does the fact that I am a man...Does that not make you feel odd about it?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:28 am
"You're thinking way too hard about this. The fact that you're having so many doubts is a good thing since it means you're thinking about what I've said, but"
Einar rubbed the back of his head and cursed the motion, hoping it wouldn't become an overly used habit, and then moved out of his relaxed position. He was calming down on the inside, slowly gathering his wits back together and piecing bits of pieces of what he was going to say together on a thin string of thought.
"If you're having to grasp at reasons for what I'm thinking or saying then I clearly said what I did way to soon. I try not to think too far ahead, I think about what's going on at the moment, if only to prevent myself from backing out and never doing it at all."
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Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 12:11 pm
Lai took in what Einar was saying, taking some soft but deep breaths to try and calm down. If Einar could be calm while saying this, Lai could be calm too. At least, he hoped so.
"I cannot help it. I cannot understand why someone would say they might love or do love me." He put a hand to his forehead, lifting his bangs up from his eyes while doing so, thinking over what to say next. "No one has ever said that to me before."
Lai stared at the ground, putting pressure on his tongue with his teeth and trying to think of how to continue. His face paled out, the blood finally going back to areas it needed to be, even if only temporarily. Soon after the Russian's eyes looked back up and at Einar, the right one concealed behind his wrist as his hand remained on his brow.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:17 pm
"Well what should I do then? I've never said it to anyone else before either, so it's just as new to me. What do you want me to say, or do?"
Einar frowned as he watched Lai's expressions change, and without thinking he reached his hand out and took the older Russian's wrist into his grasp. He wanted the man to look at him fully, to see him entirely, as they spoke to one another. Hiding one's eye was like a small manner of escape to Einar, one he didn't want Lai to try and use without even knowing it.
"Look at me properly and tell me what you want me to say, what you want me to do. Do you still want me to stay by your side and tell you that I love you, or do you want me to run as fast as I can and never face you again?"
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:06 pm
Lai watched as Einar removed the Russian's hand from its place over his eye, wondering for a moment what it could mean. Then it clicked; both eyes on the other person while you speak and, with his wrist being held the way it was, it seemed to Lai that Einar wanted the space between the two of them closed or at least lessened. It was easier to communicate with someone when you were near rather than far away from them. Lai felt a faint pull in his held wrist and in response he took a couple of shaky steps forward, the action effectively closing the space between them a bit though his mind wanted him to break away and run.
When he stopped his approach Lai found his eyes staring at the sweater material on Einar's chest as he struggled to think of answers to the Norwegian's questions. Lai's right hand felt light, but his fingertips drooped as though weighted and brushed against the sleeve ending at Einar's wrist. He bit his lip and looked up, etiquette and the original action on Einar's part reminding him that when you speak to someone you look them in the eyes. Despite his face draining just a little bit before, Lai still felt hot under the collar as he surveyed the man before him. Then, he shook his head before speaking.
"I do not know...I cannot tell you what you should do really. If anything, I think that you should do what you want, say what you want, whatever it may be." Lai felt his fingers brush against the exposed skin of Einar's wrist and he swallowed the saliva that should be in his mouth but was severely absent now. "And I am looking at you properly. I cannot give you directions or commands, you are your own man." Another pause, then Lai opened his mouth and let his aching heart take over and speak. "B-But...But if I want anything now, truly, it is that I want you to stay. Please do not run from me Einar..."
With that Lai's feet stepped and his body moved towards the other man again, stopping when there was only about one step between the two of them. His free left hand rose from his side and came to rest on the shoulder of the Norwegian. His eyes remained looking into Einar's, the Russian's blue-gray's showing a faint fear of this strange and foreign situation, hope that Einar would comply to his desire and a flickering of happiness at being so close to the man who had been in his thoughts since the end of their last meeting.
"Please...?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:24 pm
"I don't know what I'm going to do if I get any weaker to your requests. I'm hardly holding together any manly pride and restraint as it is."
Einar's voice held a bit of a chuckle and a whine together, an odd sound to be sure, and without any further thought he quickly pulled Lai into an embrace with his free arm while his other hand still held onto the Russian man's wrist. The feel of body to body contact was just as thrilling now as it had been only moments before when he'd selfishly pressed his lips over Lai's, and as he held the other man close he swore to himself that it wasn't just his heartbeat that was pounding so loudly now - it wasn't just him that was feeling uneasy and thrilled at the same time.
"You're going to make an honest man out of me, you know that? That may or may not be a good thing for the rest of these people, but at least it should be good for you."
Einar's words were merry at best, and as he ended his sentence he slowly moved his face down and pressed his lips against Lai's forehead, reviling in the feel of skin beneath them. He repeated the action, only this time a little more down, as if he were marking the man before him instead of simply kissing him affectionately.
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:54 pm
He is staying...
The words in Lai's head sounded relieved and pleased at that fact but they did not drown out Einar's statements. The Russian caught the mixture in Einar's voice, but before he could reply he was in a close embrace. Just like if a button to open the floodgates were pushed, Lai's face was back to being red, but instead of feeling fully paralyzed he felt lucid and free. His left hand that was on Einar's shoulder moved back and around the Norwegian's neck as their bodies pressed, tightening the embrace between them. Lai's heart was hammering and he did feel that rush of fear, but he didn't balk away. Instead something in him, his beating heart perhaps, made him relax and just take in this man.
I think...Yes...I feel his heartbeat. It seems funny but, it feels like it is going just as fast as mine. I even think...I know we must feel the same right now. Both afraid yet there is something there that draws us to each other like moths to flame. But it is not dangerous like fire, it is good. Foreign, but good. Frightening, but I believe definitely good...
Never once did Lai's eyes leave Einar's. Without thinking he gently pulled his seized wrist free of Einar's grasp, turned his hand around, and took the Norwegian's hand in his own. He could only smile as his fingers laced with the younger man's and he took in his words. Lai leaned in a bit, feeling as though his voice could only raise just above a whisper.
"...I am?" Like he thought, his voice was very soft yet faintly coarse as well. "I will try to, but you seem plenty honest to me Einar." Lai's words ended just as Einar's lips began a slow descent downward. His face grew to a darker shade of red and he was sure the other could feel the heat rising through the skin onto his lips. Instead of freezing to these smaller affections that he still was not quite used to, Lai just merely closed his eyes and enjoyed them.
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Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:38 pm
If Einar had never liked holding hands with anyone before it clearly wouldn't have been shown, with a gentle squeeze he increased his grasp on Lai's own, the pulse of their intertwined fingers mocking their heartbeats. It was a gentle thrum, one that would have ached if he cared more about it, but since it was because he was holding hands with someone like this - some he was showing interest in - it seemed okay. For now.
"You're an odd one, to like being kissed so much. Or maybe I'm the creep who just likes kissing you too much. Either way we're making quite a pair, you know?"
He chuckled against Lai's forehead, where his chin and mouth had come to rest when he stopped kissing and started speaking, and with more of his skin touching Lai now he could indeed feel the warmth the other man radiated. It was like he was holding his own personal heater, and Einar liked that. Sometimes Norway got too cold, same with Russia when they marched into parts of it, so to have a Russian here in his arms warming him up seemed like something out of a bad joke.
"Still, holding you like this isn't bad at - in fact it's something I'd really like to get used to, and seeing as we're people who are here to try and fix time properly I'd say we've got a while. Don't you think?"
Einar's hand slid down Lai's back until it was resting on the older man's hips, the touch gentle yet slightly possessive at the same time. It wasn't like he was groping him - it was more or less a way to indicate that someone was wanted and belonged. For Einar actions were louder than words at the moment, and after he moved his hand he turned his attentions back towards his previous task - only this time his lips met with other lips.
It wasn't their first kiss, nor was a particularly hungry kiss, but Einar still savored it in his mind and would probably remember it for the years to come.
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Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:53 am
Feeling lightheaded was never pleasant, but for right now Lai decided that the feeling was more than welcome to settle in and dizzy him. The smile on his face was coy, and as he felt the squeezing from Einar's hand on his, he squeezed the other man's hand back and his smile became decidedly happy as well. Lai's eyes fluttered open as the man spoke, the fear still there but greatly diminished, and he couldn't resist letting a soft chuckle go at Einar's words.
"Is it not the whole point to enjoy it? To be close to someone and just enjoy it..." His voice was still soft and faintly coarse but he didn't mind. He knew the Norwegian could hear him fine, even over the loud voices their hearts seemed to have. Lai's tone became matter of fact as he spoke his next words. "You are not a creep. You are like me, uncertain, maybe afraid, but knowing that these feelings inside seem to be okay..."
He trailed off again, his smile returning to a coy appearance as Einar's breath brushed against his skin and bangs. Lai felt jittery, but no physical tremors arose as the body heat from the other seemed to quell them. Despite being from a cold climate and being born in the middle of Russian winter, Lai greatly disliked the cold. One would think he would be intolerant, but in reality he would get chilled to the bone quite easily which conflicted with his love of snow. Holding onto Einar like he was, arm around the back of the other's neck and hands tightly held together, Lai had a feeling he would not have to worry about becoming cold ever again. At the words and the next warm breath against his forehead, Lai nodded just a bit and very slightly so he wouldn't disturb the man currently at rest there.
"I would have to agree with you," He said as he tightened his arm around Einar's neck. "On both." He was still afraid of this new situation, but it oddly seemed to be backing off the longer they stood like this. The feeling of Einar's hand slipping down to the Russian's hips brought the fear back, and it remained, but pushed to the side in a corner where it couldn't take control. With that action on Einar's part, Lai felt something he hadn't before-something he couldn't really put a name to-but in actuality it was a feeling of true belonging. This feeling of Lai's were cemented in by Einar's kiss. The Russian's eyes remained open momentarily, that feeling of uncertainty and a loss of how to react reflected in them, but after a moment something seemed to click and for the second time that day Lai's eyes closed and he didn't think, just did.
The two men probably would have spent the entire day together, right there in a section of the garden hidden by weeping willows and away from the stone walk, but Mother Nature seemed to have decided to show up at the wrong moment. As Lai pulled away, his breath had caught in his lungs and he needed to breathe, an icy drop landed on his hot forehead and he flinched. Einar seemed to have gotten hit as well as both men looked up at the same time. The sky above them, once clear blue and sunny, was now heavily overcast and dropping light rain on top of them. Lai looked at Einar and eased himself away from the Norwegian, but kept their hands laced together. He tugged the man to follow him the way he had originally come, a time that seemed eons in the past.
Both were under the willows just as the sky really opened up and Lai knew both of them were going to get drenched. He laughed, his voice seemed to have come back just then, and the sound produced was free and almost childlike. Lai could see his bicycle from here, the rain bouncing off the waterproofed leather seat, and he made his way over to it with Einar in tow. Dodging rain was a failure and both were soaked in the minutes it took for Lai to kick the stand up, turn the bicycle, and speed walk it back onehanded to the archway from whence he came with it earlier. When they were inside the dry stone hall Lai, on Einar's left, walked in front of the other man, leaned the bicycle against his own side, and quickly wiped the water from the younger brow. His own smile faded with a small amount of sadness as he spoke.
"I think for now we may have to part," He dropped his hand from Einar' brow and lifted the bicycle back up on its two wheels. "But I...Would very much like to see you, spend time with you, again soon Einar."
He turned and looked down the hall, his right hand still laced with Einar's left, and took a step. At the last possible moment he let his hand free and fall away, his head and seemingly his mind pointed toward his room. His mind wasn't there, actually, and before he made the corner the Russian turned his head back to look, his expression calm and happy, but just underneath excited beyond measure. He raised his right hand up in a wave and vanished behind the stone wall.
Goodbye for now Einar. But only now.~END OF RP~
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