|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:30 pm
Allen had walked a good distance from the house by now, practically absent minded, his feet getting a little dragged after him as he almost stumbled his way around. He kept his head lowered a little, hidden underneath the hood of his cloak even though there was no danger of anyone spotting his ghostly form with the pure white wings now kept neatly folded on his back. It was a stupid habit he had found himself unable to shake off even in his afterlife, hiding, hiding away from everything, everyone. He had yet to feel comfortable with himself, still shunning his cursed existance.
He had stopped by a bench in a park, sitting on it after a while. He would like to try and concentrate and recall everything that could help him communicate better maybe, with Lavi and the others but so far he knew that he had changed a little from when he was living. He was steadily becoming more withdrawn, maybe if his memories surfaced again this would change and he'd go back to the way he used to be, but for now he needed to count his words and calculate his moves not to cause other's pain. Because he couldn't stand that. The look... that look in Lavi's eyes...
Speaking of which he faintly heard Lavi's voice calling out to him as if from affar. Was he becoming paranoid? From what he could recall he was still sane, but...
"It's Allen." he found himself grumbling at the, now usual, nickname of moyashi and doing that he leaned backwards on his bench thinking he might have really gotten out of his mind -replying to the voices inside his head-. But then again...
"Lavi?" he decided to question back. "Lavi where are you?" what was he even yelling for? He had left the house to get away from Lavi... so what was he doing calling out to him like that? This really was confusing...
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:38 pm
Why was Allen so fast!? Lavi wondered once he had caught up with the white haired spirit. "Right behind ya. Geez Allen, your too fast. Seems that didn't go when ya died." Oh damn, he had just alluded to knowing Allen again hadn't he!?
Back at the house, Rynl noticed the rabbit youkai had yet to get up, even through all of the yelling in the next room.('He did it again!" "How could you accuse Casey of that!?" "Well you shouldn't defend him because he's your clo--OW!" "Go eat breakfast Verissi.") Going over to him, he noticed that Dino was shivering slightly. Concerned, Rynl felt the rabbits forehead, his hand re-coiling back when he felt it was burning up. "How is this even possible!?" Rynl asked in his panic of finding medicine and cold rags. The other ghosts, hearing their keepers distressed cries, wondered what in the hell had happened now, save for Kaito and Len, the only two really concerned.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:59 pm
Allen shrugged a little looking up and backwards, in Lavi's direction instead of simply turning around. His pale colored eyes met with Lavi's green stare as the hood of his cloak slid and fell backwards. Frowning a little he sighed. "Why did you come?" he simply asked, a small frown comming to occupy his features. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, it was pretty apparent, wasn't it? He sighed again, a much deeper sigh this time, giving up.
If one had to say something about Len was that he was one really hard to pull away from bed while he was sleeping. Even so one couldn't possibly stay asleep with all the ruckus in that house so, as it was expected, he got up himself. What the hell was that about. Dragging his feet to the door he openned it and peered outside. Now the screams where even better audible than before which thing made him scowl. He was sure to retreat back in the room and curse his fate when he noticed Rynl's paniced state. Blinking slowly, he tried to understand why this was hapenning. Maybe he should just get Kaito? He was better in dealing with situations like this and he seemed to be able to calm people down.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:31 am
"Because I'm worried Allen." Lavi took a seat next to the slightly younger ghost, his eye dark, the worry had become visible. "I want to help, I don't want you to seclude yourself from others."
Kaito walked down the hall, to the kitchen and source of the noise. "Rynl-san, are you okay?" He asked, then noticed the rabbit in Rynl's arms. "Is Dino-san okay?" Kaito saw Rynl shake his head for both answers, then turn back tot he phonebook for a doctor who would do housecalls. 'Would a doctor even work?' Kaito wondered.
It felt hot...so very hot, it made Dino want to die. "...already dead..." He murmured. He felt another source of heat, and determined that one source was too much and began weakly pushing at Rynl.
Rynl looked at Dino in sympathy and worry, holding the rabbit demon close, though he tried to get away. "I'm sorry Dino, but i'm trying to help you." He continued looking through the phonebook, but threw it down in frustration when he couldn't find anyone. 'Dammit! I've looked for a doctor, I have...god, i'm so sorry Dino." He heard the rabbit mutter something, that sounded like a name, one Rynl had knew before. "If it'll work, I hate that guy though."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:50 am
"Then what if I don't want you to?" Allen hurried his answer. "What if I don't want you to come?" he pouted then suddently realized that what he was saying was really dumb and really childish... selfish... the other was worried about him and still he... But there was a little bit more pride, a little bit more than what it would take for him to withdraw his words. He pulled his hood far bellow his eyes again and dropped his head forward so his snow-white hair whould hide his face. He didn't want to look at the other. He didn't want the other to look at him. No... not with this eye that could see right through his soul... He had made that thought many a time and it still occured to him.... that penetrating stare seemed like it was burning into him every time, expecting those things that Allen didn't know what they were...
Len sighed and finally went outside when he heard Kaito's voice. "Is everything alright?" he asked, cocking his head to one side. "Is Dino-san alright?" he asked right after, seeing the usagi yokai's condition. That was bad... wasn't it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:41 pm
Shamal, oh how Rynl hated that man. He had been dumped with the unfortunate task of trying to discover just how the man could survive any illness, and he had done it by any means, even the most unfavorable of them all (even if the silky panty hose did make him feel pretty). To see his reaction to Dino still being 'alive' had made any suffering he had been put through worth it, he was even able to get a bit more information on Dino's death.
He wished he hadn't though.
The death had sounded alot like his own little cat-like clone, with the exception of one little thing...Rynl shuddered, memories of his own experience resurfacing. But unlike Dino, I was rescued. Petting the rabbit on the head, he felt protective of the other, knowing he was hiding such a terrible pain in his heart. "Dino, il mio bambino povero povero" He murmured, stroking a hand down the rabbits warm face.
"Ahhh! He's just making it harder for me isn't he!?" A pale cat whispered to himself in the hall. It bothered him again, what was he going to do when Rynl figured it out? Would he kick Casey out or attempt a soulbond? The one thing Casey didn't want to happen. "I'll kill him through his mind if he tries." Casey grumbled, heading to the kitchen, he was hungry and the other bottomless pit wasn't home.
Kaito shook his head, pulling Len close. He had heard the two men, every word of what was said. These things, Len didn't need to know. "He'll be better soon."
"Really mature beansprout." He grinned, though it faded quickly. He moved the hood off of Allen's head, then turned away, blushing. 'Just....wanted to see your face, didn't think you should hide it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:32 pm
Allen shook his head. "I don't want people to look at me..." he mumbled. Even if all those people that can see wouldn't mind. And those that can't say wouldn't bother looking for something that is not there... He would pull the hood down, make sure he was hidden, raise a barrier between him and the world, to shut others out, to shut himself in... He didn't want others to look, think he was a freak because of the color of his hair or the scar running down his face... and he didn't want Lavi... he didn't want Lavi to look. He didn't want him to see... it was something he did without understanding it, but he just didn't want Lavi to think he was weird, since that faint memory still lingered in his head, the first time, the first greeting and a comment that his white hair made him look older...
He was frowning, even though he hadn't realized. He was frowning and if he was anybody else than the proud, stubborn idiot he was he'd have cried. He'd have cried for sure. He just couldn't understand anything anymore. Everything felt tangled up in a beautiful mess that he couldn't break and the only thing he wanted was someone to tell him that it would be okay and speak the truth, not say that just to comfort him... In fact, he wanted Lavi to do so, but he'd never acknowledge that, not even to himself...
Len frowned and just nuzzled into Kaito's chest while smilling quietly. "You think so?" he was happy to have Kaito, and when he'd hold him close nothing mattered. The world could be detroyed and Len couldn't care less, because his onii-chan was all that mattered to him. Everything... anything... he could find it in him...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:07 pm
Lavi wrapped his arms around Allen, bringing him into a soft embrace. "You can't get by with that Allen. Please, let me listen?" He wanted to listen, he wanted Allen to tell him everything, but he knew it wouldn't be easy.
Dino woke up to quiet murmuring, and a slight sniffling. Opening his eyes, he saw the blurry figure of what looked like Rynl, and was he crying? "Grido del ould di Bookmen...sh non." Yeah, it was definitely Rynl. Blinking, the other came into focus, his head bowed and still crying, and he had reverted from English to Italian as well it seemed. "Nessun cuore… nessun bookmen del cuore… non può avere cuori. … Scarto inutile…." Why was he crying? And why was he talking about discarding his heart? And bookmen, where had Dino heard that before. Being small enough now, Dino climbed into the younger mans lap,wrapping his arms around Rynl's waist.
"Tutto ha un cuore, anche quando vogliono nient'altro che scartarli." Rynl looked at the little demon hugging him, attempting to comfort him, and frowned, blushing as he wiped his tears away. " You should be sleeping. That perverted b*****d said you needed it.....and that he needed something for his heart." He chuckled darkly, still enjoying what little bit of revenge he could get on the lewd doctor. Dino only smiled, his eyes still slightly hazy with illness. "I know, but you need someone there, to tell you it's okay, that you'll be okay." Rynl looked down in astonishment at the rabbit demon. This guy wasn't serious was he? He just mentioned everything but his own health! Sighing, Rynl picked Dino up, ignoring his protests and confused exclamations. "If your going to ignore yourself, i'm afraid I can't do any of what was said." He laid down on the bed, pulling the covers over himself and the demon. Dino pouted, glaring at Rynl. "That's really low Rynl." Rynl yawned, pulling the rabbit demon close. " Yeah, it was a bluff." But he would take care of Dino, since he subconsciously seemed to be ignoring himself.
Kaito looked in,smiling at the two in the room, then at Casey, who was in the kitchen....eating fish, a can of Tuna it smelt like. "Sh-should we avoid him?" He pointed to the cat, who was doing what anyone rarely saw, being himself....even though it was kinda gross watching someone eat your 'kin'. (did they count as his family now? Was he going to have to call everything in the Ocean and lakes and rivers his Nee, Nii, or otuto-chan?)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 10:59 pm
Allen sighed softly, listen? Lavi would listen...? What was there to tell him that Lavi didn't already know? After all he knew so much less than Lavi already... He scowled a little and dropped his head forward, this was unfortunate, wasn't it? He smiled gently, but it was a bitter smile. What could he say? -I don't want you to hate me?- it would sound stupid. -I hate to make you feel sad?- too corny. Then what could he say, ...but the truth? But the truth was hurtful and he didn't want to inflict Lavi any pain.
"Lavi... I..." he strated. He was intending to lie, say it was okay even though it wasn't, but somewehre, some moments after he spoke those first words that he changed his mind.
"Why... why are you asking those things, Lavi?" he scowled. "You never say anything about yourself, about the how you feel, about the past or the future and yet you always expect people to answer your questions. Why? How can someone be as self-centered as to always expect... expect things... things everyone might not be ready or able to give?" for some reason he was on the verge of tears now. "Do you enjoy this? Spending... spending all those around you in bits and pieces of information? Do you like to break everything into tiny pieces and analyze it?" this outbreak... it wasn't needed, he was being harsh on the other, even so if he kept those feelings inside him and let them build up further then he felt as if he'd suffocate. "Can you? Can you even do that? Or is it not your place to analyze anything? You can't understand nothing, can you!? Watching doesn't means you necessarily understand!" he was crying now, tears he didn't try to hold back rolling down his cheeks like drops of rain, or the snowflakes that melted upon touch with the skin.
"Because even if I tell you, you'll have nothing to say! You never have anything to say!" he cried. "How can you know why my heart is in pain!? How can you explain the fact I don't remember anything and yet so many things feel familliar? How... How can you say anything when you never do?" he couldn't, just couldn't stop himself and even though he didn;t want to hurt Lavi his words were all hurtful, toxic, as if he wanted to attack the other even though he was only desperate, looking forsomething he didn;t know what it was...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 12:38 am
And Lavi never realized it, but he had begun to say the same thing his pupil said. "No heart...unnecessary...discarded.....Bookmen can't feel, we lock away our emotions, discard our hearts. if I analyze, or never say anything, it's because I don't know what to say. Allen, I haven't felt a heart for a century now, going on two." He wanted to hug Allen, oh how badly he longed for it, but he knew he couldn't. He didn't want to leave the other ghost alone there though. He continued to sit beside him, letting Allen spill his heart out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:32 am
Allen shook his head, not accepting he words Lavi spoke. He wanted to exasperate, say it was silly, that it was a lie, that it was all wrong. It WAS worng, damnit, of all the things he heard so far come from the red-head's mouth this thing about discarded hearts and having no emotions was the worst. It was wretched, crooked... such a thing could never be true. A heart was not a piece of clothing or an old book you could discard. And feelings... without feelings could you even be concidered alive? He looked up, eyes still brimming with tears. He wanted to hit Lavi, he really wanted to hit him, but that one green eye, as calm as always, mocking him, drained his will to do anything but cry in desperation. Because that one stare was vacant, devoid of anything human, like the eyes of a lizard... he thought and shivered.
He stood up and walked a couple of steps ahea, without looking back at Lavi, trying to conquer the unexplainable fear that sprug inside of him every time he came too close to anyone. Both his hands were clenched into tight fists and he bit his lower lip hard not to make a sound while crying. He wouldn't be as weak. Turning back to Lavi's direction he ran up to him, and to his surprise as well he slapped him.
"Wake up!" he yelled at him, grabbing him from the collar of his shirt. "Wake the ******** up!" he tried not to cry out loud but it was impossible to stop himself. "If what you said is true then you wouldn't have come!" he exclaimed. "You wouldn't have even called on to me when I was still a willowisp!" he let go heaving an exasperated sigh and turned his back at Lavi again. Why did he even care? Normally he shouldn't care this much. After all Lavi was just an aquaintance he had while alive, right?
Len heaved a loud sigh. "I would love to see him try do anything." he stuck out his tongue in the cat demon's direction and turned back to Kaito. "I don't like being in the same room with him, so yeah." he scowled and clung to Kaito more. "Should we do something fun Kaito-nii~? ...But I want to wait and see how Dino-san is doing..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:34 pm
A slap...Allen...slapped him? In that moment everything Lavi had forgotten everything, morals, conduct, Allen, all in favor of retaliation. "I never fell asleep." His voice was hollow, devoid of any happiness or life. One had to wonder, what had triggered this sudden change.
Or if the change was sudden at all.
Lavi slapped Allen back, but his slap held hate, pure rage, yet he remained so calm on the outside, so very calm.
Rynl was awoke form his light nap by...a feeling, that's all he could call it really. "O-old man?" He mumbled, sitting up while careful not to jostle Dino. He could feel that it was Lavi that had awoken him, but how, and why? "...Junior." He never caught himself saying Lavi's ill-begotten name.
Kaito took Len into the other room, thoughts still plaguing him. How could a human do that to another human? Had the person had help? Why would someone kill a person as nice as Dino-san and...and defile him? It made Kaito cry.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:21 pm
Allen had never expected Lavi to retaliate, not with as much fury and anger anyway. The hit was strong alright and the impact sent him a couple steps back, triggering an immediate reaction of pulling his hands up to protect himself. The shock had made him stop crying though, but he was trembling now, fearful of the other in some extent, but on that moment he wouldn't shed more tears. Taking the lost ground by stepping in again he looked at Lavi straight in the eye. This wasn't right.
Suddently he felt nauseous. When had this last hapenned? The realization pierced his mind like a radiant cone of light as memory of a simillar situation invaded his consciousness. That time though, that time...
"Hit me." he growled. "Hit me again." he bit his lower lip at saying that. But he didn't care, because that slap of Lavi's it held feelings. There are not only good feelings, there are negative ones, such as fear, anger or hate. And even though Lavi said he had no feelings he had retaliated with a way that prooved the opossite. And if worse would come to worse...
Len sat beside Kaito and looked at him with concern. His onii-chan was only too soft. He sighed. He wondered what got him down like that. Pushing up. he crawled closer to Kaito and sat on his lap. He tilted his head back to kiss Kaito gently and curling his arms, around him, his head resting on the other's shoulder, he sighed.
"I will listen, onii-chan... If you want to say something... anything..." he spoke quietly, not letting go. He didn't like to see Kaito crying.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:56 pm
'Lavi' punched and kicked at Allen, paying no mind he was attacking his best friend, the person who he had told himself he'd wait forever for, the person he--- No, this couldn't go on. A little voice, that sounded like the Lavi that Allen had come to know screamed at himself to stop, fought with this sentient conscience for control. Go back Junior!
"Lavi?" Okay, now he had definetley heard the ghost. Getting up, he placed Dino back on the bed, going to search the house for any trace of the red-headed ghost, worried when his search turned up nothing. Grabbing his coat he turned to Kaito and Len, who he noticed were still waiting, and Kaito, who was still crying. "Kaito, are you okay?" He enveloped the little sireni into a hug, worried for him. All of them were just falling apart weren't they?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:53 pm
Trying to keep on his feet, retaliating once or twice to block Lavi when it was possible he blinked slowly, trying to clear his head of unneeded thoughts and questions. The question here wasn't 'why' as it always were. The question here was 'how' and 'who', because it would appear the Lavi Allen knew wasn't there, or at least... was there but... So much anger, so much hatred... how could it all be Lavi's... And if it where his... how did it happen? When? Did he hurt him? Was it because he argued about the whole issue of feelings and hearts? Or was it because he had actually managed to inflict feelings uppon him?
In an attempt to stop Lavi's attack, he grabbed a hold of either of the red-head's hands, stopping both of them were they were. "Lavi!" he called out to him. "Wake up! You've got to wake up!" he shook his head, his body was hurting all over from the hits he had taken directly, but he wasn't one that couldn't handle a little pain.
"He doesn't need your sympathy old man." Len snarled at Rynl, still holding on to Kaito. "After all... you're not one able to provide any comfort, are you?" his words were venomous, but it all was because he didn;t want Kaito to be hurt more by anyone. And he was pretty sure that Rynl had found out about his death, but if Heaven forbid he openned his mouth, he'd be dead. Len could swear to god, he'd kill him himself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
