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 Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:34 am
Slightly better, but still short. Also, flesh out your profile. Understand that when you come into the guild, you start with nothing: no zanpaku-to, no shikai, no nothing. That goes for kidos, too. Unless you can prove someone actually taught you the kidos, you shouldn't have them in your repertoire.
Nothing about your profile is detailed. To have a decent RP, you have to pay attention to the details that make up your character. You should give us a better description of your appearance and personality. You biography should be more detailed, too. I mean, what even happened?
Right now, your character is flat. Give him depth.
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:05 pm
RP Example: Gameo walked into the shop and sat down with his friend Mishiro. "How are you Mishiro" Gameo asked, "Not bad" he replied, "I heard you got punched in the face, are you alright?" Gameo asks. "Im just fine, no need to worry". Gameo calls over the waiter "coud we have the check please", "Yes, right away" the waiter replies, the waiter walks away. "Do you want to come with me to the libary?" Mishiro asks. "I would love to" Gameo replies, the waiter comes back and gives Gameo the bill, Gameo gives he waiter the money and the two of them walk over to the library.
Name: Gameo Kagero
Nicknames: shadow
Physical Description: thin , height 5'9, weight 150 ibs.
and a scar down my right eye long white hair, blue/white eyes slightly tanned skin, long white coat like my avi's and a scarf like my avi's
Special Accessories: I wear a special armor that uses my soul energy to lower the damage I take and I also have a special item on my eye that makes it so I can see, since i am blind.
Skills: I am a good marksman, and very good at sneaking up on people, half the time no one sees me.
Abilities: I am blind so i cant normally see, but I have a very good sense of hearing, i am also very fast.
Personality: My character is energtic and funny, and he hits on most girls he sees, he jokes a lot, but issometimes very serious.
Biography/History: When Gameo was in highschool he was in a club that practices with wooden samurai sticks, Gameo was one of the best that they had. The day he died he was walking along down an alleyway were he heard someone crying, Gameo looked a bit farther ahead, and saw a man with a gun pointed at a young girl. Gameo ran over and punched the man in the face, as soon as the man got up, he shot Gameo right in the head.That is when Gameo died.
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Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:17 pm
Better, but there's definite room for improvement. Anyway, you're accepted. Please post your profile in the appropriate thread.
My one objection is this armor of yours. That falls under the category of Squad 12 technology. They haven't invented anything like it, but you would have to have permission for Maximoru (Division 12's Captain) before you can use it. You should also ask him about the eyepiece that helps you see.
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Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:17 pm
Passing through a garden casper hated the smell of flowers, but he couldnt stop sniffing his noes for the beautiful smell to get into his immune system. "EWWW" Casper started running at a high speed crushing flowers as he tried to make it out from the heavy scented area. "Thats better" he said with a sigh of releif.
His stomach started growling from missing breakfast this morning. with his eyes closed casper went over to the lunchroom to get some beef ramen. Grabbing a bowl from the unibrowed mole face cafteria lady. He grabbed a spot at a near-by table, smiling as the steam from the ramen warmed up his face "mhmm" The grin became bigger as he devoured the ramen.
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:58 am
((Hello i'm kasean23. I was already in this guild. i was in squad 5 and i was guarding the kido cannon. During that time me and yori a nother banned member was fighting two hollow's. We lost the battle. I am hopeing i can join your squad to build up my soul reaper skills again. I know it is a long rp sample but my the captain of squad 5 nagi said i wrote in seat 5 level so i decided to write that way to get into this squad hopeing that it would get me into squad 5.)) rp sample: kei sits down. He remimbers that being a soul reaper was not going to be easy. His father was a soul reaper and his father died on his 20th mission. He thought to himself "Ok dont act nervous this will betermane what if you get into squad 2 no big". Sweat began to pore from his face and he started to breath hard. Kei pulls the small towel from his right pocket and wipped it on his face. kei grabs his katana that has been passed to for generation. This weapon was his fathers. kei got a tear in his eye and thought to himself "I will make my father proud of me for once". Kei knows he wasn't really the good's or smarts child a man want really the was the oppisite. kei pulls out his ipod from his left pocket then he plays 3 a.m by Young jeezy. http://s154.photobucket.com/albums/s264/ModernDayKnight/?action=view¤t=Sword.jpg&jwidget_action=searchName:Kesui name: Kei Age: 16 Gender: Male Skin Color / Race: brown, african american Physical Description: (Pictures are acceptable.) Zanpaku-to: Katana element: fire Shikai: ??? Bankai confused ?? Personality: calm but when its time to fight he serious History:History: at the age of 7 my parents died by a man with a white mask. 5 minutes later a man with a white robe asked me wat happened to my parents. after the long talk he desided to take me in. He tought me how to use a sword. He gave me a speaical gauntlet. At the age of 9 was serpassing all my classmates. At the age of 15 i was accepted into squad 9. Kesui soon become the 10th seat. kesui soon left squad 9 and went to squad 5 Extra: Kidos Obtained: ??? trained kidos: none
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:41 am
Sagwa drift, you're accepted. Nice Rp ^^
Kasean23, if I'm not mistaken, aren't you the one who called me a b***h?
...
Anyway, if you want to join squad five, this isn't the right place for application. You want to be posting in the squad five forum. This is squad 2...
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 11:44 am
No you mean kasean24 called you that. I got hacked. This is my new account kasean23. You can report him if want to. Sorry if the hacker called you that. I want to join squad 2. Plus that was my old person kesui. Now i'm kei i'm restarting.
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 12:09 pm
Hah! Whatever. Even if it was you, I'll let it slide. It's immaterial, anyway.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:53 pm
just to clear up any confusion. Sagwa drift is this account I made and I gave it to my friend andy. So hopefully no one thinks its me rping with that account^^
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Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 1:14 pm
Jade watched from the shadows as the AWOL shinigami ate his dinner. She could see his Zankapto close by. Jade awaited the right time to strike, when he couldn't reach his weapon. It seemed as if hours had passed by before he finally got up to dispose of his dishes. *That fool, he left his sword behind! Nows the time!* Jade swiftly unsheathed her sword. Quickly running behind the man, who was completely oblivious to Jade's presence. The tip of her sword pierced the mans chest as Jade applied more pressure, sticking it in up to the hilt. Once the man had fallen to the floor, she pulled her blade out, and resheathed it. *Job well done...*
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:56 am
I'm sorry for being AWOL myself for a few days. Your sample is very well done and blessedly coherent ^^ I liked it very much. My only suggestion (and it is minor) is that for a character's thoughts, you might considering using italics, instead of asterisks.
But seriously, that's only a technical thing. Welcome the squad, and please post a profile in the appropriate thread ^^
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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:39 am
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Posted: Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:57 pm
Hayashi yawned lazily as he looked around at the open field. His dull brown eyes stared out spotting an opponent. Hayashi smiled as he drew his sword. He began to run sprinting in a zig zag pattern with his sword drawn. "Get ready" Hayashi yelled as he suddenly turned left spotting a tree. He then jumped into the air building up reiatsu into his legs as he spun positioning himself just right. He smiled as his feet touched the base of the tree and he bent his legs and then suddenly exploded the reiatsu out as he pushed off giving him a large boost of speed. Hayashi brought his blade across as a horizontal slash came whirling at his opponent. The enemy parried the attack with ease allowing Hayashi's blade to slide off. Hayashi frowned a bit as he hit the ground and rolled to keep from breaking an ankle. Hayashi then stood and pushed off the ground charging him head on. He smiled as his opponent slashed downward and Hayashi simply rolled slashing at his opponent Achilles heel.
((Sorry if it's short. but it's hard to be creative when it's just one person all by themself.))
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Reply
Yay! 