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Probably. xd And I totally agree; People should want to be known for something good about them, something they're good at, not because they're attractive.

And I think that St. Lucy was made up by Dante. 3nodding

Mm. But that's the point! If "damn he's hot" is no different from "damn he's brilliant," why is it that it would be unacceptable for a man to come up to you and say, "Hey, you're hot" but not "Hey, you're brilliant?" I'm assuming anyways. "You're brilliant" is about the least offensive thing I can think of for someone to say. xd

Mm. Just an assumption, but I don't think that you would find it insulting if a man came up and said, "You're really funny," or "You're brilliant," but I'm guessing that if he came up and said, "You're really hot" you would take it on much more of a sour note. All I'm asking is why? In each case, he's only talking about one part of you. But in the case of your physical appearance, you find it insulting rather than complimenting. And if not you, than stereotypical intellectual woman. While I find that the non-physical aspects of a person are more of what makes them them, the physical is there too, and it certainly shouldn't be an insult even if it's more complimentary to say that you're smart or funny.

I mean, I don't find it insulting that lymelady thinks I have a big p***s; Just hot! wink If sadly misinformed. sad

As an aside, I think that saints like St. Lucy are just ridiculous. o.o A lot of those early saints were obviously story book-like characters, made to give children an example to aim for. The moral of that story is probably supposed to be that you're supposed to love God enough that you're willing to pluck your eyeballs out for him, but it just comes across as, "If you follow God, you'll ignore the guy who likes you, and if you decide to pluck out your eyes to get rid of him, you'll grow new ones." Which honestly isn't the moral I want to give to my children. sad

Mm. Well, but when someone thinks "They've probably got a big d**k," they're basing it on what they can see. While that is a terrible way to phrase it, I can be fairly certain that the guy whose d**k was in question probably wasn't ugly. xd The gay coworker almost certainly found him physically attractive, he just expressed it in that way because that's where his mind went next.

Something I meant to point out earlier, too, is that the guy in question in the original post was recently out of the closet, right? Well that's a big step. And I'm guessing that newly out gays probably overcompensate a lot for the years of hiding it. I'd give him leeway just for that, honestly. sweatdrop Although I would definitely tell him it's inappropriate anyways, to be talking like that with a near stranger. 3nodding

I'm not mad about anything. And I'm a supporter of Capitalism, not the Monarchy. razz

It doesn't have to be overtly sexual, nor does it have to be about her v****a or his p***s. On the contrary, you can just be ogling their physiognomy. Even how they dress.

My only point was that it's better to pay attention than to pass over someone.

Furthermore: it depends on how you phrase your idea. If you say: "You're sexually appealing." It's actually a very nice compliment to give someone. A lot of people are not that attractive. You have something others do not. However, if you make the compliment in relation to yourself, you're being selfish, or at least, we know where your mind is at. "You're sexually attractive, as an object of my own personal desire."

It hits the ears very differently. You shouldn't walk out your door in the morning and say "Damn, who's going to fall victim to my conquest day?" But at the same time, you should be mindful of your human characteristics.

Did it look like it was directed at someone else? :/

The point is, someone saying "You're hot" will get a very different reaction then "You're funny," unless you already know the person fairly well. "You're hot" may not get the caustic reaction that "Nice a**" will, but it still gets a much colder reaction than any other complement. And why? Plus, personally, I think that "nice a**" should be a completely acceptable complement. They're saying you've got an attractively shaped a**, what's bad about that?

Mm, then you're different from most women I know, honestly. sweatdrop At least. The impression I get. Personally, I'm not too experienced at hitting on women. xd But it seems like they're usually decent enough not to take it as an insult, but "Hey, you're hot," in my experience, is usually seen as something a Neanderthal or a frat boy would say. Which I guess is a little redundant. Or, if you're lucky, they would think you're just shy and befuddled. Whereas "You're funny," or "You're smart," is something an intellectual "nice guy" would say. So it may not be an insult, but they aren't equally complimenting.

But that's exactly my problem; It's not something you say in this culture. Why? Why is it insulting to say something like that in this culture? Isn't this supposed to be the land of the free? Heck, I'd think that you of all people would think we should be even more free minded! Why is it an insult to compliment that specific part of the body?

To put it in better terms, if I tell a woman she's got beautiful eyes, or amazing hair, she's flattered. There's nothing wrong with that at all, even though it says nothing about her personality, and is entirely outside of her control. But if I say she's got a nice a**, that's taken badly. What makes her a** so much different from her hair, or her eyes, or her face? I mean, as far as complimenting someone goes.