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 Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 7:49 am
As the records go, it was as Yuri had said, she had been playing with fire and some how it had gotten out of control. At least that’s what her defense attorney had used. But the prosecution had an equal footing, of this one case, there was countless more than just 47 arson cases. They had the M.O., and could place Yuri at the scene. But lacking substantial evidence, their argument was only speculation. The defense rallied on this and one last thing: She was disturbed. It was a very messy court case one could imagine. Many doctors that handled Yuri were briefed thoroughly on it and have been told to study her case carefully and share a few views. Georg kept his to himself.
Georg sighed. “Yuri the defense had pleaded insanity in your case. Thus that is why you are here. And because you have been charged for this one crime, you cannot be charged for the others that the prosecutors were intent on linking you to. In retrospect, you were simply charged with a lesser crime of man slaughter due to insanity and placed here an Asylum rather than a prison. But both serve as a means you cannot escape from ever until you are reformed. My job isn’t to accuse you or get you to plead guilty. It’s all pointless now don’t you think? Those that have died cannot be brought back, and those that live on, will continue to be tormented weather you are guilty or innocent. I am not concerned about the dead or the tormented.” The man set his pen down so that he could sit forward and lock Yuri with that piercing stare again. The walls she had set up around herself had dulled it’s sharpness, but that never discouraged Georg. “But I am here for one purpose. You. Why did you start that first fire? Why did you go back to save those people in your last arson? You, who is so indifferent to this world that you live in along with the rest of us? What does 186 lives lost matter compared to the fire light I extinguish with a fist alone? Is there a difference? Tell me Yuri, what does fire mean to you?” He set aside his clip board to rest upon the arm chair and got up to pick up the splinter mess upon the floor, and carefully reached over to take hold of her injured hand. With clinical and deliberate precision, his hands moved methodically. One held her wrist so she would not pull away, and the other hand went about to assess her hand for wounds and splinters. Georg did this so casually and almost no thought as though he’d done it a hundred times already. As he did so he spoke. “I suppose Yuri, it’s most apparent to you why I’m asking these questions. If you are finding any one of them too difficult to answer please let me know.” Still keeping a firm but gentle grip on her wrist, Georg reached into his coat’s lower pocket to produce a small gauze like material, which he used to dab at the small speckle of blood. He removed the splinters carefully. “And no hurting yourself while in my presence. Harming your own body never did anyone any good except leaving a terrible scar and a painful wound.” He remarked offhandedly.
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 10:45 am
Yuri listened to his questions contemplating what to answer first or better yet a way to make them understand. When Georg took her wrist she didn’t pull back or struggle as she once would have done. This wasn’t the first or even fifth time something along these lines had happened that had ended up with her scraping her hands or knees. When he asked her not to hurt herself in front of him she almost replied that he was implying she felt pain but she choose to keep it to herself.
“You always choose the difficult questions. I hope you know that.” she said as she watched him removing splinters from her hand, “All except the first. Why I started my first fire. Why does a six year old child do anything? I was curious. Prosecutors like to play pretend that children are innocent. That a child is incapable of harm but no. My parents had forbidden fire to be around me since I was young but one of my only friends mother disregarded that rule at her 6th birthday party, I was a month older than she, and had candles on the cake, though her true mistake was setting them where I could get to them.” Yuri sighed, a most human expression for when her emotions were suppressed this way, “I had seen fire once in my life for just a mere glimpse but it was enough where I wanted more. Though I should explain myself. If you were to point out any two objects in the room I would say they were the same color.” As if she didn’t trust her eyes she looked around the room where she saw shades of gray instead of plush comfort chairs of assorted colors, “People take it for granted just how beautiful the world is. Even the simplest thing of a clear sky. Just as I went back because it hurt.” Her words stayed emotionless as she looked to him, “If you were to die right now. I do not doubt that I would watch and do nothing to help, that I would feel nothing until days, weeks, or even years later until whatever it is shifts inside me and allows my soul to burn on its own. I just wish you could see what I see.”
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 11:48 am
He could feel the desolation in her voice. At least he thought it to be so. As Georg finished up he spoke steadily, almost as if reciting a verse. "The world is a very beautiful place, but only to the person who wishes it to be so. And I were to die before you, I would not expect you to feel the slightest thing for me, after all, what am I to you but another shadow passing through you world? That is the way things are." Finally satisfied with his handy work he sat back on his legs looking to Yuri. Those eyes were gentle but that only belied his indomitable determination. "Miss Yuri, I think you have misunderstood why I am here for you see, what it is you see, I want to see as well. Must I be color blind to witness a dead world where no color exists to see the depths of your despair, or must I set a 100 fires to understand why it is you do not feel when you should?" He shook his head before standing to return to his seat. "Most often I do not come to a patient thinking they are broken. After all, what is normal is something all the world seems to know but no one can completely agree upon. What if, this was just another way to look at something? What if a person skipped a step they should have taken and came up with something different? That is what I'd like to prove to myself before trying to 'fix' anything. As pompus as that sounds. That is why Yuri, I am asking you, these questions. Because I fear we can never really 'talk' until I know what it is you are seeing. I have seen plenty of frightful things behind these walls, but choosing to see what you and all the others see is my job, no matter what the cost. If I am unable to, I have failed not only you but those who ever hope to understand you. My failure means that I am not giving my all as I promised you I would." Though he'd just sat down, Georg got back to his feet carefully picking up his metal clip board (which he hadn't written anything in since the beginning of the session) and tucked it under his arm as he motioned for Yuri to follow him. When he was certain she was following, he lead her back outside Dear Diary's estates but instead of the front he took her to the back, the cobble stone court yard where many patients would wander mindlessly. Only strangely there was no one today, no one but a few big piles of leaves that had fallen from the numerous trees that dotted the Asylum's land. Someone had raked them up in some attempt to clean the court yard. He came to a stop before a moderate sized pile, before looking to Yuri. "Look Yuri, these piles are far from the grass and there is a water hose near by. Since you have been a very good girl I'm going to do something I'm not suppose to." From his pocket came the candle and a crushed match box with a few matches he'd managed to salvage. "Go ahead, but on the one condition, you must continue to talk to me. Tell me what goes through your mind, and if on the off chance you do feel something, you must tell me. Do we have a deal?" He held out the same items he'd taken away from her just a few inches before her. It was almost in the likness of a devil trying to tempt another soul. What she saw him as mattered little to Georg as what it was she had to say was perhaps the most interesting.
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 10:11 am
[[I'm really sorry. Can I withdraw from this roleplay? I've just had so much on my plate lately and I don't think I can handle all the roleplays I have going on.]]
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 8:15 pm
Yuri listen to Georg with her as always impassive look and followed him without question to through the asylum halls until they came around back. Dried leaves always burned well she thought silently until Georg stopped her in front of a nice sized pile and offered her a proposition. Eyes growing wide with the thought of someone helping and allowing her to create a fire built wariness and enthusiasm within her. Slowly reaching out to take what he offered she eyes him suspiciously until her hands closed around the items and she pulled her hand back with unnecessary speed, “Deal.” Unlike the monotone that had preceded this voice held triumph and laughter that spread through out Yuri much like a flame did. It started deep within her before working it’s way out changing her posture from tense anger to loose casualty and filling her eyes with glitter and laughter. Though to some it may seem small few had ever actually witnessed the transformation from the start because that meant giving her fire. That was another reason Yuri was sent to Dear Diary, they offered other options than a sedative. Holding the items close to her chest Yuri jumped up and down much like a child at Christmas before striking one of the matches tentatively and lighting the candle purposely not looking directly at as she tried to fulfill her part of saying all that came to mind, “My hand hurts. Where I splintered it.“ she said almost curiously as she held the candle in one hand examining her palm for a moment as if she just realized that there was any pain. Taking one of the leaves she didn’t wait for him to answer as she lit the pile, “Do you truly believe that my brain is just simply missing a step and that it isn’t broken?” As the fire grew she let out an amazed breath, “Though they call it a disease I truly wish someone could see this for it is beautiful.” Pointing at at the core of the new fire and tracing a line outward she explained, “Imagine the world in black and white and then pick a point, and point and watch color seep into it slowly at first before it grows out larger and more vibrant with every second.” Looking at him with a smile it took almost visible effort not to stare into the flames and let them consume her mind but she had made a promise to try before something crossed her mind and she bit her lip in an embarrassed manner a blush creeping up into her cheeks, “And I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier about you dying. I would care. You are the only one who has ever treated me like a person and not a problem to be disposed of.”
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 9:28 pm
A normal black car pulled up to the drive of Dear Dairy Assylum. Inside the car was a sleeping brown haired girl, not sleeping by normal choice but by effect of a sediative that was quickly wearing off. The front passanger was a guard from another assylum, one the girl called The New Assylum. Turning off the car engine the driver sat patiently and waited as the guard got out and opened the back door, waking the girl.
Addie, startled and afraid, realived that she was sitting in a car with a seat belt wrapped around her. It never occoured to her that the car was not moving or that they had traveled without getting in a wreck. She struggled against the seatbelt while the guard struggled to unfasten her. Once set loose she bolted from the car and took only a few steps before she tripped and ended up on her hands and knees. Ignoring the pain that lept up not only on her hands and knees, but the phantom pain. All the bones she had broken now felt broken and the biggest of the scars felt as if they were open and bleeding. Her kness throbbed and it was that pain that she could not stand. Struggeling for her feet she stood and dodged the guard, racing to the nearest tree she repeatdly slammed her knee into the trunk makeing the small scraps bigger and the knees itself swell.
The guard rushed over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders, hoisting her small frame into the air. She screamed then, kicked at the guard and tried to get away. The guard tightened his hold uncaring of the bruises that lined her shoulders and arms. She squealed and started to cry while the guard started to yell at her. "Come on you stupid girl. Why are you so scared of cars, huh? Why? You just stupid or are you just mad and completely out of your mind? Huh is that it? The crazy little girl doesn't have a mind."
Addie screamed again but felt her energy quickly ebbing away, she had refused to eat for the last two days and had only gotten fake sleep through the sedatives. Tears streamed down her face and she gasped for air.
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Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 9:17 am
The instant the candle and matches left his hand, Georg could see the change in Yuri, it was sort of like a Dr.Jekly Mr. Hyde sort of deal. No wait. That was wrong. Because in that senario, the freak comes out and the man's true self is lost to the madness. For Yuri, it was just as she described. When Georg looked at her, her eyes were black, dead, her features pale as white. But when given fire, a soul flickers with in, and life flushes her every being and she is part of the living world again. It made him wonder when had it all started? What had caused that proverbial flame in her heart, the one that sparked life in all humans, to go out? Certainly this was what was causing her to rely upon real fire. She only wanted to see the world as it should be seen. And for her, the only way was to see it through flame. Georg found himself lementing as he observed her and took in everything she said as if it were the most important things anyone could ever tell him. She was so much better this, when she allowed her emotions to burn like wild fire. Georg stood before the fire with Yuri hands folded behind his back in quiet contemplation. "Fire is a beautiful thing indeed. It can refine or destroy anything it touches and has inspired many great writers with it's warmth and light." He chuckled hearing her apologize. "Well that I certainly did not expect. No one in Dear Diary ever apologizes to me. I'm usually the one apologizing." Those light and gentle features settled as the roar of the fire burned steady. "I'd like to think I'm treating my patients as humanly possible. After all, it doesn't make much sense to treat them as something other than human and expect them to act human does it? And everyone knows, a human isn't a problem you can simply dispose of. When I see new patients, I see....People. Human jigsaw puzzles that have been shattered or are missing pieces. The aim is simple. Either help them put themselves back together, or help them find that missing piece. I always look forward to the completion because then you get to see the whole picture." He looked to Yuri then. "There are other piles why not help the janitor a bit more we can talk a little longer Yuri. And to answer your question from before, I do not believe your brain is broken. No one with a brain that no longer functions could ever work and think like yours." The man looked away to the other piles. "I at least know who to come to when he doesn't want to burn his leaf piles, he'll be quite happy."
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Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:01 pm
Yuri laughed as she looked into the flame, “Well that’s nice to know. If you happen to be able to find the whole picture make me a copy because I don’t even know where to start.” Looking away a smile played on her lips, “I really get to burn them all?” she asked in an awed voice before turning thoughtful, “I should have brought some paper…” she said before brightening up again letting out all she had to say and couldn’t in the past weeks since she had last managed to sneak fire, “Did I ever tell you I used to draw?” she asked as she took the candle to walking slowly toward the next pile, “I used to looove to draw.” she said elongating the word with meaning moving her hands casually as she often did when speaking in the presence of flame. However as she continued she dropped her hands clasping them behind her back, “Of course that phase didn’t last long. My parents didn’t approve. Neither did music, or school…” When admitted into the asylum her parents had told the doctors a few white lies. Her being expelling from high school was one of them, “Did you know I didn’t start school until I was 6 and I never made it past the 4th grade? Sound’s stupid, I know, but when they offered me a chance to skip a grade my parents thought it would be bad for me so they stopped letting me go until I was expelled.” Laughing once more, “It’s funny how there are so many versions of the truth.” Flitting from topic to topic as she talked Yuri wasn’t one to let anyone else get a word in edgewise unless you could distract her for a moment. Unlike many talkative people Yuri would listen when others talked however considering she was a mental patient all you had to do was prod her in a specific direction and she would talk until she receded into herself again.
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Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 8:06 am
He knew that he had to keep her mind focused to get any information that he wanted, but really, everything Yuri revealed to him now was a wealth of knowledge that would benefit his studies and treatment of her immensely. It seemed a shame to try to forcefully steer her in a certain direction. Yuri was nobody's fool, he could see that already and he was certain she was wary to any kinds of 'tricks' doctors may have used on her in the past. Georg followed her almost out of habit rather than to openly observe her, maybe that was his habit. "I will show you the picture when we find the missing piece. I'm sure it's somewhere." His voice echoed as though he were certain there was a piece to find rather than suggesting that there 'might' be. "You liked to draw? So did I. Actually I still draw once in awhile." He smiled faintly as it was a fact no one really knew about. "I can see why you've stopped doing all those things, but I don't see why you haven't picked them up again. You know that you're free to explore yourself here. Writing is encouraged, drawing, dancing, music...It is that way because Dear Diary believes there are other ways young minds wish to express themselves, sometimes that in itself holds the missing piece to the puzzle, so we never limit ourselves to just...sessions of talk. But I do find them rather enjoyable as I can engage with the other person." He watched Yuri's spirit soar as high as the flames grew. The way she danced around the fire before moving on to the next faintly reminded Gerog of those olden day bonfires said to be held on the eve of the new year, to mark the passage of time, and celebrate the coming of the new. All Souls Night. Now his thoughts were roaming. But that was something he found that a bon fire or camp fire could always do to people. It made them remember. Gerog contemplated Yuri's last comment for a moment before speaking: "At the heart of every lie is the the truth. And the best lies always involve a bit of truth. But why would your parents try to stunt your spiritual and mental growth? I had thought that every good parent would try to help their children find their potential..." Georg liked to have a good aim in conversations, but past experience had already taught him that most likely his patients would lead the way and he had to rise to the occasion and find the meaning between the lines. Because as they say, the devil is in the details. "Yuri what have you always wanted to do, but never able to? What would you be allowed to do?"
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Posted: Fri May 23, 2008 9:50 pm
“If I could do anything?” Yuri spoke with questioning curiosity before answering, “If I could do anything I’d go back to school.” Smiling over at him, “I wanted to double major in archeology and dance of all things when I was younger, learn all the stories of the past be able to go spelunking and see cave drawings. It’s amazing! Being able to travel the world learning other cultures. Of course it’s not really an option for me.” Avoiding criticizing her parents Yuri moved away and avoided Georg’s questions about why she had never been allowed choosing instead, “You used to draw? I would love to see some of your work sometimes. What do you draw? I prefer realism its like an interpretation. You know the ability to put on paper the world as you see it.” Thinking about it, Yuri had been told on many occasions she would never be trusted to be on her own again and it had been her own mother that had told her if she ever did recover she would probably go to prison. Her parents loved her but the problem was they only loved her when she chose what they chose if she wanted to grow up to be a stay at home mother, as long as she had their religion, as long as she was perfect in their eyes. She was to be thin and submissive to be a good wife for a rich man and until they found her problem she had an arranged marriage. Of course when you are raised to know no different it became easy for her to see how she was the one with the problem. Yuri’s parents if anything were stuck in their ways even her mother who would defy rules to make her smile only wanted her better so she could re enter the marriage.
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 12:51 pm
He watched smoke curl from the burning heap to twist like shadow snakes reaching the heavens. Georg briefly wondered how people believed that this was once an archaic means of determining whether something burned in sacrifice (be it things, food, animal or even people) were ever accepted by the way the path of the smoke moved? It must have been a frightful time during windy days he was sure. “I draw things as I see it.” He said simply. “It’s my interpretation of life.” The doctor turned his head slightly to regard Yuri, still not satisfied with her answer and not misled by her digressing. Georg paused, the sharp chiseled lines setting into a darkly pensive expression. “I still don’t understand why it isn’t an option any more Yuri. I know Why you can’t do it right now, but why haven’t your parents allowed you to do any of this before Yuri?” He looked thoughtful for a moment almost tempted to write something. His suspicions had been mounting since that moment that Yuri mentioned ‘someone’ told a little white lie about the girl. Her parents did not seem to react like most proud parents who would be suddenly faced with the prospect that their child was a very bright young individual. This had been nagging at him, but the more Yuri avoided answering his questions by beating around the bush the more he was beginning to understand. Not one to want to jump to conclusions, Georg kept a leash on his thoughts, accusations, simply because he wouldn’t believe it. It all seemed too selfish and didn’t make any sense. And so, he could only chip away at this big problem a little bit at time with Yuri, hoping that the more they uncovered the closer they’d be to finding that missing piece.
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:07 pm
Yuri smiled at his views on art before frowning her eyes darkening not with the emotionlessness that usually came but almost with anger tossing a match into the latest burning pile she knew she owed at least Georg the truth. She respected him to much to lie to him sighing, “I trust and respect you, so I won't lie to you. My life was taken from me before it ever started. When my mother was pregnant I was promised to man with considerably more money than my family had. When I was born they were told how I was to be raised. From what I look like to what activities I was to engage in, all of it.” Looking at him a rueful smile crossed her features, “To say I was reluctant would be an understatement. Even as a child before they told me I wanted to go somewhere with my life. Now it’s gone. Even if I get out they will probably just send me to prison. No college will be willing to take me.” Running a hand through her hair her look faded to one of ultimate hopelessness, “I keep getting books from the library, I got a G.E.D practice book a couple days ago. I got all the questions right on my first try.” Tears welled in her eyes as her legs buckled beneath her though she managed to catch herself so she fell to sit on her knees her head bowed though she was dangerously close to the fire she still felt cold despite the fact if she had leaned anymore it would singe her hair and probably skin. It wasn’t the captivity of prison or the asylum that she was afraid of for that was as free as she had ever been it was her soul that was trapped. From before birth and most likely to her death she was the property of another. “Did you know he even chose my name. I have only met him once, he’s 6 years older than I am…” Moving slowly Yuri looked at her hand for a moment before reaching out as if to grab the flame.
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 6:25 pm
((Sorry I haven't posted in so long I just wasn't quite sure what to do and hopefully, as soon as my applications are accepted, there will be a few more boy patients as well as another supervisor...))
Chikara stared blankly out the window on the first floor, watching silently as she twirled a plastic spoon between her fingers. Normally the staff were careful about giving her such things because of her past and her tendancy to use them as a weapon, but it seemed the staff was extremely lax today. Shrugging it off, Kara turned her thoughts back to the small scene going on at the end of the drive to DDA and found herself wondering why the guard was being so harsh with the girl. From the looks of it the, the brown haired girl was trying to hurt herself but she also seemed to be loosing energy and quickly.
Deciding to interfer, she crawled through the open window and stepped on the blooming flowers beneath, before making her way over. She had long past broken the spoon so that a small jagged edge appeared and Chikara ran her fingers over it softly, as if remembering the feeling of a blade in her hand.
Although Chikara knew she wasn't about to have a fit or break into one of her memories, she had never been able to stand by and watch as someone was bullied by another person much larger than them. Approaching quietly, she stepped behind the guard and with a small amount of pressure, set the smalled sharpened edge against the base of his neck. If wrong move and she could kill him in an instant. "Let her go."
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 8:18 pm
OOC: I do agree there isn't enough supervisors.
Some times the most important questions were the hardest to ask. Georg wasn't even aware that parents still had arranged marriages for their children save in foreign countries far, far away. He watched with deep regret as the young girl beside him sat upon the ground in almost defeat. "I appreciated the trust and respect you hold for me, Yuri, and I am sorry if I ask such difficult questions that hurt you." The apology wasn't much, but he felt that Yuri deserved to have something back. "I always knew you were a very smart child, but people who have a beautiful, wonderful mind like yours, often struggle to be their own person. That is why I am not understanding why you put up with it. Why do you let it consume your life? Every body, from the day they are born, deserves to be happy, they deserve to pursue what makes them happy." Georg leaned over to place a firm but gentle hand upon Yuri's head. "I would like to think your parents wanted nothing but the best for you Yuri. Just like I wish all my patients happiness. And as I have already told you, you were charged once before, and you serve your time here instead of a prison. Once you are finished here, there is no prison." He finally knelt down next to her, allowing his hand to fall from her head to her hand that reached for something that lied in the flames. "I would hope you stay awhile Yuri. As you've seen, Dear Diary is facilitated to promote the growth of the mind and to help those rebuild their lives....But as to what people do with those lives is up to their digression once they leave to pursue it. What would you do Yuri?"
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 11:55 am
The guard dropped Addie instantly. She landed with a thump and squeal on the ground and shrunk away from the pair.
"Who the heck are you? I have my orders to bring her to this place and get her checked in, you have no authority to stop what I do." The guard stepped away and stalked towards Addie again, ignoreing the newcomer. "Come on stupid girl get up. Your not even hurt." He grabbed her shirt, a baggy gray sweat shirt, and pulled her to her feet.
Addie squealed again and tryed to slump away. A thin stream of blood started to trickle down her legs, from the open cuts on both knees. She teatered as her bad knee was sowlen and caused her pain. Tears streamed down her face and her breaths were stuttered. As the man shoved her toward the entrence she hopped, stumbled and landed on the ground again. This time the man grabbed her shoulders roughly to haul her up by and recieved a small squeak from Addie.
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