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We both ran over to Sam's house, me having to actually slow down so I could follow him. That gave me a temporary high on my part. I was glad to get together with the pack since it has been a while that I've seen them.

When his house appeared not toofar ahead, he slowed down, and then I slowed with him to a stop. I was a bit nervous.

"Jake, are you sure they want me here?" I asked quietly.

"Of course. And don't worry, I'll be there," Jake said assuringly. We walked in the door and I immediately scrunched my nose up and recoiled against the door.

I heard the loud laughter of the pack echoing off the walls. When I opened my eyes they were all smiles. I smiled in return, still holding my nose for a moment. Wehn they saw my eyes, though, gasps replaced the laughter.

I heard Paul howl, "Bella! You look so different! I'm liking the new look!"

Sam said, "Glad to see you, Bella. It's been a while."

Seth was in the corner, holding his nose and cringing.

"Seth, are you ok? I'm sorry if my scent is hurting you. Should I go?"

Jake cut in. "No! Of course not! Seth, If your nose is hurting that bad, then leave the room. You're insulting Bella," he scolded.

"It's pretty weird to have a vamp in here, Bella. But you're too cool to hate. We could never not like you just because of what you are now," I heard Collin say.

"I've gotten used to the scent of bloodsuck- er, I mean vampires. Don't worry about it," Brady, over in the corner, said.

"Thanks, guys. I've missed you all so much. What's new?"

"Well, nothing much, actually. Fortunately, there hasn't been any sightings of vampires anywhere. Well, besides you," Sam said.

"I suppose that's good to hear," I said, looking down. I really did miss them, but I felt slightly awkward standing in Sam's house with a pack of werewolfs. I was starting to get used to the smell.

All of a sudden, I felt a jolt in my stomach. That familiar feeling that I dreaded. Thirst. Right away, I panicked, wondering what could have made me feel that way so suddenly. I hated the scent of werewolves, and there was no one around. Except...

My heart sunk and I suddenly lost feeling in my whole body. There was one human here. The only human that I could think of: Emily. Sam's Emily. I must have caught her scent. I knew I was in trouble.

I tried to control myself. I couldn't lose it, otherwise, the pack would go crazy, however, I was about to go crazy myself.

"Jake, hold onto me for a second," I whispered quietly.

"What? Is something wrong, Bella?" Jake asked with concern. He grabbed both of my shoulders and looked me in the eye. He suddely had a look of horror plastered across his face. "Bella? What's wrong?"

All of a sudden my worst fear came true: Emily came waltzing into the room, asking Sam if he wanted anything to eat. I pretty much lost it then.

"Jacob, grab me and get me out of here now," I hissed. But it was too late.

love it!! OMG cant WAIT until the next chappie/postie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! biggrin DDD

"I can't believe it. Poor Emily! She must hate me. And Jake..." I drifted the end of that statement. I was in his room again, with him stroking my back and kissing the top of my head when I would start to sob again.

"They should know how hard the first year is to a newborn. They shouldn't of had Emily in the house," Edward said, holdiong me out in front of him.

"What will your family think?" I asked, looking down to the floor. "I am so embarassed."

Edward laughed and let go of me. "First of all, they are our family now, and second of all, they of all people know what it's like to go through this, not to mention all of us have come close to killing a human, or actually have a few times." He chuckled again.

"Oh, right..." A chill went through me as I thought of all the struggles that they must have been through, and then I laughed at myself for realizing how much of a baby I was being.

"Now," Edward suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts. "Come downstairs. The family is thinking of going to the clearing tonight. Alice says there's a storm brewing."

"Oh...Oh!" I said in realization. "A game?"

"Exactly. Come on, let's go." And we were off. (i'll add to this later, but right now i'm busy sorry!)

When we got to the clearing, the storm was just brewing up. By the looks of the sky, it would be a good one. I finally noticed how quiet the forest was on the way here. Now I know what Jacob meant the day of the fight from what seemed like so long ago. Jacob...

I cringed away from the thought of Jacob. I needed to stop thinking about him.

"Do you want me to be the ref?" I asked.

"Of course not. That's Esme's job!" howled Emmet. His excitement couldn't have been more apparent.

"Oh," I said, shyly.

"Bella, love, you get to be in the game," Edward shot me that perfect smile.

Unfortunately, that didn't stop me from getting panicked. "...In the game? A-are you sure about that?" I studdered. I don't think I could take humiliating myself in front of the whole family, especially Emmett.

Edward put his head next to mine. "I know you can do it. It's just like any game of baseball," He whispered in my ear.

I laughed. "Don't forget that any sort of activity is dangerous with me around."

He laughed too, pulling away. "That was before, this is now." I smiled at him, and stretched on my tip-toes to kiss him.

He smiled when I pulled away. "What was that for?" he whispered.

"For always finding some way to make me feel better." I smiled back.

"Are you two love birds done smooching yet?" Emmett hollered in an annoyed tone.

I looked over at him. "Why so eager to lose, Emmett?" I was surprised at my own boost of confidence.

"Whoa, somebody's a little over confident!" Alice chirped in.

"Good luck, Bella!" Esme called behind me.

I walked up to the plate. Apparently I was first to bat. The teams were set up with me, Edward and Jasper against Charlisle, Emmett and Alice. I tooka deep breath and picked up the bat. There was a flash of lightning that made me jump.

"Don't worry Bella!" Alice called from the outfield. "The lightning won't hit you!"

"Oh, glad to hear it," I mumbled to myself. Emmett was pitching. He had an evil smile. I gulped.

"Take it easy on me, Emmett," I hollered over to him. "This is my first time."

"Ah, don't make it sound so important," Emmett hollered back. I bent over for the swing.

Emmett made the pitch. I was surprised I could see everything so clearly, even thought he human eye probably would even know that a ball was thrown. To me, though, it was like I was human again. Like any other ball. I just hoped that I wasn't that same human that would swing and knock somebody out. I tried anyway.

I swung the bat, making sure I was right on the target. I kept my eye on the ball, something I would never be able to do before. I surprised myself when I saw the bat swing in front of me, and then actually make contact with the ball. The ball disapeard then. Like when the ball touched the bat, it just dissolved or transported somewhere else.

I heard Edward laugh in triumph. "It's out of here!"

Emmett roared, "Not yet!" Everyone in the field disappeared. I could just barely see their figures through the trees running as fast as they could to catch the ball that I could now see was way too far away for them to get. I knew I had it until I saw Alice comming up right behind it. I held my breath.

Edward was next to me. "She won't catch it, Bella." He said it so fast. Everything was moving in slow motion. When I looked back, though Alice was stopped with the ball in her hands and running back. Time must have started back up again. Everyone was back in the field, mumbling to themselves under their breath.

"Told you," Edward whispered again. I smiled.

"I actually got a home run?" My voice rose in excitement. Edward nodded. "Yes!" I started to jump up and down.

Edward and Jasper both laughed. "Nice first home run," Jasper said.

After the game, Emmett was still fuming about our win. It made me laugh to see him like that. Edward also seemed to be amused. I went bouncing over to him, still excited about what a good job I did.

"A little excited, are we?" Edward mused.

"Just a bit." I smiled.

"That's good. I'm so glad to see you happy again," he said, returning the smile with my favorite crooked grin. "So, what do you want to do now?"

I put a finger to my chin and looked up. "Hmm...how about we go to the meadow? I haven't been there in a while."

"That sounds lovely," he said. "The storm is well far away. I'm just glad it didn't rain." He was right on that one. Rain would have spoiled it, but thankfully, it was a dry storm.

We both ran to the meadow and sat down next to each other next to a tree.

"It seems like so long ago when you showed me this place," I said. "I don't know about you, but I think that was the happiest day of my life."

"Mine was long before that, Bella," Edward whispered, stroking my cheek with his hand. I adjusted myself to kiss him. He kissed back, but with more entusiasm than usual. I wrapped my arms around his neck and proceeded to open my mouth a little. No protest. I knotted my fingers in his hair as he wrapped his arms around my waist, one hand on my back. His sweet breath was intoxicating, so I didn't know what was comming when I felt myself falling backwards, him supporting me with his hand.

I suddenly realized what he was trying to do. He was on top of me, kissing me and making it impossible to comprehend what was going on. My mind was once again battling it out about what I should do. I still wanted to wait at least until we were married, but I also knew how much I really wanted this. Which one would it be? My mind continued to battle as Edward ran his lips up and down my jaw. He hovered over me, which was like him hovering over my arguement in my head. I wanted to keep going. Stupid! Wait until marriage! I pushed on Edward's chest to lift him off. I actually pushed him off with my own strength.

He gazed in my eyes. "Is something wrong?" His eyes were so bright and intense.

"Edward, As much as I love this right now, you know I still want to wait until we're married."

"Do you?" I didn't have time to answer.

He was kissing me again. This time, it seemed as though he was trying to convince me to keep going. Another battle. This is what you wanted! No, I couldn't let it go on. I pushed on him again. He groaned.

"This is hardly the time for your male hormones to kick in overdrive," I said.

"Are you sure you want to wait?" He whispered in my ear.

I sighed. "I'm sure."

He sighed as well. "I respect your wishes. I apologize for pushing myself on you like that." He sat up.

"Don't worry. I really enjoyed it. My mind just kicked in and told me to wait." I sat up and kissed his cheek.

He laughed. "Your mind doesn't seem to like me very much."

I put my lips to his ear. "No. It's just the opposite."

I was slowly progressing in controlling my thirst. I still didn't go into public, especially after that incident with Emily. Every time I thought of that time, I cringed and felt horrible for a while. So I avoided it all together.

I hadn't spoken to Jacob either, and that made me sad. Edward could see it, and I felt horrible for making him see it.

I tried everything to clear my head, having Edward hold me was a big help, but he was the scource of all my guilt. I knew that wouldn't work. I tried sitting in the backyard of the Cullen house, but I could tell that everyone was watching me, and I could hear all their mumbling in the background.

Finally, I decided to take a little run in the woods. I thought of getting some hunting over with, which I hated because of what I became when I did hunt. My stomach wouldn't listen to me, so off I went.

I told Edward where I was going, and he followed that with a confused expression, but let me go. I promised I wouldn't try anything funny, and Alice confirmed that.

As I was running, I was thinking about my situation: Jacob hates me because of what I am now, and I have insulted the pack, which will certainly ruin any relationship I have with them. I wasn't allowed to see Charlie, and that made me sad. Also, I had to stay locked up because of my thirst problem, and I couldn't trust myself anymore.

Going through all of this in my head kind of put everything in perspective, and that made it easier to focus on what to do next.

I finally got the courage to get a deer and quench the awful feeling that I was trying to push down. When I was finished, I just walked for a bit until I found a little patch of grass in the middle of the trees. I sat down an leaned against one of the trees.

I sighed. "What to do," I whispered to myself. The first thing I thought about was the Jacob issue.

Jake was always going to have a problem with me, and as much as I didn't want that to happen, I couldn't stop it. I don't think he would ever forgive me for what I did. I wasn't helping the situation by showing my hurt feelings in front of Edward. I promised myself that I would never show those feelings in front of Edward. I had to force myself not to.

The first step was to detach myself from Jake. I had to stop thinking about him. I loved Edward, and having him around was hard on everyone. I was being selfish about keepign him, adn it wasn't healthy to either of us. So that was that.

Time will only tell about my thirst, and how I will handle it, but I knew that someday, not seeing my family would push me over the edge. My only question was how long it would take for it to happen.

--------------

I realized that alot of time had passed, and stretching, I got up and walked a bit further. I knew Edward would me looking for me, so I decided to head back.

It was getting dark, and I could see everything almost as clear as if there were light, but somehow, I managed to get myself lost. I surprised myself because I thought I would be able to know my way back, but I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and I couldn't smell anything to lead me back to the house.

I wandered around the woods, getting a little worried. Not worried about me, but worried about Edward. I knew he would probably come out out to look for me eventually. Then I just dismissed the thought because I knew Alice would see me and then Edward would come to get me. I could just hear Emmett's booming laughter now.

I kept walking, eventually hititng the edge of the woods. Good, then I could figure out where I am. To my horror, however, I stepped out to find myself smelling a horrific smell. A smell that made me crinkle my nose in disgust. Wolves.

The Alice-seeing-me-and-Edward-getting-me theory went out the window at that point. Oh boy.

I realized that the pack would smell me and come running, and I didn't want that at all, so I ran. I ran back into the woods and far away.

I came to another edge, but this time, I wasn't in the middle of nowhere. To my horror, I heard people, and lots of them. I looked around, and saw buildings in not too far away. An alley way led out to bright lights and cars. I gasped and froze where I stood, realizing where I was. I managed to get myself all the way to Port Angeles.

I considered running back through the woods, but I knew there would be a phone somewhere, to at least a cab to get me back to Forks. I was tense and crazy to do it, but I didn't want to wander around the woods anymore.

I started to walk down the empty street I was on to the nearest restaurant to find a phone.

When I tured the corner, I had to take a step back. The wave of smells that flooded my head made me dizzy, and I had to recoil. There were people everywhere, walking on the sidewalk, going in and out of stores, and talking to each other on the street. I pulled myself together.

Ok, just hold your breath. I told myself. You can do this. I held my breath and took a step out.

I walked as fast as I could without looking strange, to the nearest building. A restaurant. I could do that. I walked in, and right away I wanted to die right there. Sitting right in front of me, at the bar, was Angela and Ben with a few of his friends. I gasped. Bad mistake. The smells of everyone in the room almost knocked me right over.

I didn't know what to do. I could run, and find a different place to clear my head and find a phone. I decided to go with that plan. to my horror, however, Angela spotted me just as I was going to turn around.

I heard her yell over the mass of chatter in the room.

"Bella? Bella Swan? Is that really you?" I almost ran anyway, but it was too late. I turned around.

"Angela?" I said, trying to keep my voice cool.

"Oh my god! Bella! I thought you were away to college across the country!" She ran over and gave me a tight hug. I held my breath again.

"Well, I'm back visiting. I thought I would come to Port Angeles for a while," I said, straining myself to keep my breath held.

"Oh I'm so glad to see you! But you look different! Did you do something to yourself?" Her voice was high in excitement.

"Not really," I said over the crowd. "It must be the time I've been away. I also just got over a cold."

"Well you look beautiful," she said with a perky tone.

I couldn't hold my breath anymore. The discomfort was killing me to no end. I let it out, and regretted it right away. I felt my stomach jolt in thirst, which caught me by surprise because I had just hunted a few hours ago. I doubled over in pain.

"Bella! Bella, whats wrong? Are you still sick?" She panicked and bent down to help me up.

"Um...yea...I guess so. It was a pretty bad flu." I groaned when she got closer. "Just back up a second, I wouldn't want to get you sick." It was getting hard to speak. I had to get out of there. I stood up to leave.

"Bella! Your eyes!" she yelled. "What's wrong with them? They're practically glowing red!"

"I'm trying... new contacts. They change color ...when my body temperature ....changes," I lied. I couldn't speak anymore. My body was trembling and shaking all over, and my stomach was on fire. I could feel my body losing control.

"Bella I'll call you a cab. You need to get home now, you look like you're going to be sick."

"No, I'll go call a cab. I gotta go. I'll call-" Another jolt in my stomach as I took in a breath. That was my limit. I just about lunged at her when all of a sudden, stone hands grabbed my shoulders and knocked me off my feet. I looked up to see Edward with a panicked look on his face.

"Edward! Oh it's so nice to see you! Listen I think Bella is sick-"

"Yes, she is. I'm so sorry to have to leave you, but i should get her out of here. It was nice seeing you," Edward politely interrupted. I was cradled in his arms trying to hold my breath again. I kept my eyes closed and buried my face in Edward's chest. Anything to get rid of the smell.

"O...k," she trailed off at the end because Edward was already out the door and running towards the woods, me in his arms.

I was studdering. "E-Edward...I....I almost-"

"I know, Bella. Hang on," he said softly as we bounded through the woods.

OMG OMG OMG I LOVE IT!!! IM SO ADDICTED TO IT NOW!!! PLZ WRITE MORE! PLZ PLZ PLZ!?!?!?!? xd

-gets jumpy- AH! its awsomeee! Cliff hanger, argg.
xD Wrrriitteee moorreeee heart [/size