Welcome, Alurinda! Some advice for first-time covering:
1. Start with a little covering. Wear a wide headband, for instance, or tie your hair back into a bun or braid and wrap it with a ribbon. It'll give you the feeling of something restraining your hair, and you'll get used to having something on your hair or head.
2. Nothing is more jarring than seeing someone in a casual T-shirt and jean skirt with a very formal, fancy hat... or a formal dress with a cotton bandana. Make sure that the headband or bandana you wear matches your outfit, both in color and in style/formality.
3. Just wear the bandana at first while doing housework. This gets your husband used to seeing you wearing it; you used to wearing it; and it will keep your hair out of your face while you work (and protected from the splatter and spray of caustic cleaning fluids!).
4. Go to
http://www.tznius.com or
http://www.modestworld.com and find yourself one or two scarves -- say, one casual, and one pretty and formal -- and promise yourself that you'll wear each one, just once a week. Wear the pretty one whenever you go to any church. Since you're currently unaffiliated, just go to a church to try it out.
5. At first, while you're getting used to covering and other people are getting used to seeing you covered, leave most of your hair exposed. A little scarf with your hair hanging down in back, that's all it takes. Learn different ways of tying the scarves, too -- find ways that look 'cute' and ways that look 'elegant' and just play around with them. Both those websites have scarf-tying guides, and those aren't the only ones out there with tying guides.
Gradually go for more and more coverage, until you reach a level that feels right to you. (Personally I cover all hair, all the time, but I know that's not mandatory for non-Jews/non-Muslims; a bandana seems to be quite enough for most in the Christian community.)
6. When your husband asks why you're covering, explain your strongest reason first, then mention the other side-benefits. When someone else asks, remind yourself that this is an important and
personal decision, and not everyone has the right to know all the motivations that are on your heart. It is really okay to say, "Bad hair day." It's also okay to say, "I want to focus my mind on getting my work done and being a good person, and not on whether my hair looks good from moment to moment," if the person seems to want to know more than "Bad hair day," but again,
you decide who gets to know the inner workings of your mind.
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