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 Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 2:28 pm
You might want to consider telling him soon, in case he's not prepared to be a parent. Or maybe he might be upset at you for not telling him sooner, if you decide to wait awhile before saying anything to him.
And you could always try adoption, if you cannot raise the baby on your own. Raising a baby by yourself is hard, let alone a 17 year old who has no family to rely on for finances or support. Can you pay hospital and doctor's bills? Can you pay for diapers and formulas? Clothing and the crib, and so on and so on? And if you're working 2 jobs, how are you gong to find time to spend with your child if you're always working? If you need a baby-sitter, where will you get one? How will you pay for a baby-sitter/daycare?
Just some things to consider.
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Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 11:59 am
Being teen and in my position I feel sick to the stomach knowing that from the first time I told my parents that I was pregnant the first words to come out their mouths was "you are going to get an abortion". That hurt like hell. I was devastated that my parents who I would want to support me would not. The guy he has deserted me because he feels that since I am well off that my parents would care for the child and give it everything. That is not so. I have told him about it and he spit in my face telling me that he is my age and is gonna finish Art school which we both attend, and which is very expensive. So him having this child would not be a problem cause he would be able to afford for the child.
Since finding out my pregnancy, I have had to move back home. I still go to University, but the stress is tiresome. Feeling sick and stuff. But I sit down everyday and wonder what to do. Why? Well my parents want me to abort, but I do not. I want to get the child, but if I do, that would mean leaving school for a period of time and there would go my career. I have put so much into Art school to end it for a precious child. Every night I go bed and dream of being in the OR giving birth and seeing a ripe baby with lots of hair. But then get dreams where I think of being in a OR getting the abortion that my parents want.
I strongly feel that I could take care of the child. But then drop when I think that when I get this child my education is gonna be put on hold and I would not know when I could go back to school.
I have the guts for responsibility but do not know what to do since I am three months pregnant.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 12:07 am
Talking to a doctor or an OB-GYN sometime soon would probably be a very good idea. They can help you decide what to do, and also be able to perform the abortion if that's what you decide to do (because they legally can't perform it after the 3rd or 4th month, I think. I don't remember when exactly, but in the US I think after 4 months, they won't do it).
You could also look into adoption options, and look into local adoption agencies in your area. Also take a look at the Gaian Parents Guild on Gaia, they might have information that will help you. The "Ultimate Pregnancy Sticky" in the Pregnancy Subforum might be of use to you, as it gives ideas of what to do if you know you're pregnant, and gives you information on abortion and adoption.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 8:07 pm
That sounds like a big decision you have to make: but as Nikolita pointed out, you have to make it soon so you may want to talk to a doctor or a counselor about it. Most campuses have counselors on-staff and I'm sure you wouldn't be the first person to have to talk to them about this subject.
Honestly, if you kept the baby, you wouldn't necessarily have to miss too much school before you could go back [depending on due-date and such]. Your college may have a daycare for students that you could utilize while you take classes. I'm sure if you look into it and ask around--a counselor may be a great source for this info-- you may find you have more options then you originally thought and that you may not have to just quit and your life is "over." And depending on your financial situation, you could qualify for WIC which helps with groceries during the pre-natal period and after.
It's understandable that your parents are upset and most likely they reacted the way they did because they're worried that your life will come to a halt. No one likes to think that the dreams they had for their children may not happen due to an unexpected event. If you do the research and formulate a plan of action and show them that you're willing to do what you need to in order to both take care of your baby and keep your life on track, they'll warm up to it and be more supportive. They're probably just as scared as you are.
So take a few deep breaths and start researching ASAP and a solution that can make everyone happy will surely present itself.
whee It may be daunting as I know how tired you are right now--I'm just a few weeks ahead of you--but it will be well-worth the effort and energy.
OH, and if you keep your baby, make sure that deadbeat is paying support and you get the legal aspects taken care of like if he wants his parental rights or not. He can't just weasel his way out because he decided he was mature enough to have sex with you but can't deal with the result.
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