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"No, stay." John murmured, looking down at his shot glass as the almost viscous liquid swirled around still from when Maximos had poured the shot. The large man sniffed violently, before taking the glass up and tossing the contents down his throat, only grimacing slightly as he placed the glass back down on the table.

All this talk of tempting fate...he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into Raven's ear as he bodily picked her up, as if she was as light as a feather, as if she was like a child, and placed her back onto her own seat. Whether the apology was for the bodily manhandling, or a pre-emptive act, was up for her to decide.

"Whats wrong..." John started, reaching out with his hand to place it over Maximos', gripping it tightly as he looked him right in the eye, like he was confessing a great sin to a lover. "...Is that I'm terrified of you. Even now, the dark in this very tavern frightens me. And its taking all my willpower not to...lose it and fry everybody in this tavern."

He closed his eyes and smiled a small smile, patting Maxi's hand as he continued speaking. "I must let you know, that for a long time, I actually lost my mind because of you. I thought i was a god, Max. A god. Can you imagine the level of self-deceit it took for me to believe that? My hubris was enormous, and all it took was your scythe to cut me back down to earth." His hand closed around Max's, and if Max bothered to notice, he would see that it was John's fake hand.

"But...you just don't walk away from an encounter like that...unscathed." John stated matter-of-fact-ly. "Losing my 'godhood', - John spat the word like it was poison in his mouth - "Resulted in a 'catrstrophic loss of self-worth, and 'shattered my ego' completely...at least that what you told me..."

He frowned at the last words even as they came out of his mouth, as if they weren't supposed to belong there - before a sudden giggle erupted from his belly, his right hand flying up to close his mouth, the fake left remaining on Maximos'. When he had composed himself - it only took a second - he continued. "....I lost myself in the woods for over two years....for two years, i had nothing but darkness as my friend....darkness as my companion. Darkness whispers into my ears at night, when i try to sleep....when i close my eyes, even for a moment....when i blink..."

His eyes had gone glassy, John Tomorrow leaving for a moment. "I dont know about you, but that type of thing changes a man. In order to deal with it, I had to go away. John, had to go away. Bye bye Farmer John....hello big bad wolf." He cocked his head to one side, narrowing his eyes for a moment, the thousand yard stare remaining. "...Do you know anything about farming?"

Rave's eyes met Maxi's for just a moment, her head shaking from side to side ever so slightly.. this was sooo not her idea!

The fear washing off him was almost overwhelming, making a small part of her wish that she had moved off his lap earlier. The animal part of Raven was wanting to run so bad that it took all her will not to bolt, but the rest of her.. that part that wasn't just animal anymore... it sat absolutely still, she could have been a statue sitting on his lap.

She couldn't do much beyond trying to exude a calming feeling, a sense of love and understanding... And there was one more thing she could do to help calm him down a bit. To keep the situation form going way overboard...

A soft glowing ball of light appeared in the rafters above the table, shining down on the three of them and slowly brightening, as if someone had turned on a pot light with a dimmer switch and they were slowly turning it up so as to not blind the denizens of the pub.

He was afraid of the darkness.. it was a different type of darkness that simple natural shadows, otherwise he likely would not have chosen this dark corner to begin with... but she couldn't do much beyond listen, and light up the room a bit more.

Too many emotions flying by too fast. Anger, love, hate, injustice, agression, fear, even longing. It all built up, so fast, too fast, faster than can be read or understood. Maximos would have loved to say that he foresaw that blast coming, but he didnt. And yet, when he should have been wincing about the rather unpleasant discharge, he was instead reacting.

"No." Maximos answered Tomorrow, hopping off the bar stool. He took no shots, he ignored the rumbling and grumbling crowd, the people playing with short-circuited electrical devices, and the others gasping or groaning. Somewhere near the outskirts of the facility, Maximos was almost entirely sure he heard someone yell for a doctor likely do to a shorted out pacemaker. He didnt care. They didnt matter.

There were three people in this room right now as far as he concerned. One who needed his full attention, the other who's help he drastically needed as he was most certainly no sort of healer in the emotional arts. Maximos looked Tomorrow dead in the eyes and said. "Everyone is not okay. You, are not okay."

He shook his head side to side as trying to work free a bad memory. Two pale hands rose and aimed to find Tomorrow's shoulders. What could he say? Could he argue for a lost little girl? A lost family? In truth his heart did not go out to them. The dead were dead, on and passed, their pain over and done for. What mattered were the living. He tried in the seconds in which his head shook to figure out how to word himself...but then he realized that the sentiment he was trying to express was not a thought, so much as a feeling. And then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and simply spoke what he felt.

"Listen to me John, she's gone. A carton of milk with its contents spilled. There is nothing you can do for any of them. This is not your fault, unless choose to do nothing about it." Maximos made sure to find and lock on to Tomorrow's eyes. He wanted the other man to see the truth in his expression, to feel what he felt as he spoke.

"This is a lie. Hiding yourself is only going to prove more costly than simply being who you were born to be." Maximos shook his head solemnly again. "Your not one of them John. You can pretend, you can act, you can lie to yourself as long as you want but sooner or later the truth of yourself comes out. From the moment you were born, you were destined to be exactly who you are, and nothing else."

Maximos bent his fingers so that instead of simply resting on his friends shoulders, he was squeezing them tightly, trying to dig the understanding into his flesh. "You may not be a god. You may be flawed, even weakened. But you will never be one of them. And the more you try, the more you suffer, the more you earn yourself anguish and pain. Pain, for simply being what you are. That isnt fair...that isnt right."

Maximos pulled his hands away, with a few quick motions of his left hand, he pulled up his right sleeve revealing an arm tattooed with black curls and twists, like wisps of smoke or licks of flame frozen in place in his skin. And yet, each tattooed mark was drawn over an uneven patch of skin. A burn and a tear scarred into his flesh. Visible clearly in Raven's patch of growing light. "The Shadowfather taught me much of betrayal and of truth, and of pain. And before his lesson, how many lives did I take John? You were there. You know the Destroyer, you saw him. How many? Before I realized the truth. You cannot hide from who you are. No more than a Lion can hide its fangs."

He gestured over to Raven. "No more than she can hide her feathers, or the black on her wings. We are who we are brother. And the more we try to hide it for them..." He swung his arm wide to the disgruntled crowd. "...the more they suffer."

Maximos was not as much of a teacher as he might have liked. He had explained this concept before, and had it explained to him. But did it work? He had, had a fair amount to drink. "Do...you understand?"

He looked past John to Raven with a look of abysmal hopelessness on his face. "Raven, please help me. I dont think I'm explaining this correctly. Talk to him, John listen to her."

And yet, not once did Maximos shy away from his friend or seem to judge him for what he had done.

"She wasn't a carton of spilled milk!" John roared, smashing his fist into the table again, making the glasses and bottle jump and spill their contents. "There is no excuse for what I did! None!"

The light shining above him seemed to have helped his mania. The Now unfettered by the darkness surrounding him, the liqour giving him courage, he was able to speak clearly. "How can you sit there and tell me that this was supposed to happen? What kind of world is this where the death of a child is a lesson to be learned?" He looked down at his hands again, curling and un-curling his fingers, watching the static jump between his fingers. "You know whats really, truely bothering me? I cant remember her face anymore."

He narrowed his eyes, cocking his head to one side. "...What?"

Rae quickly slipped off 'Morrow's lap... to keep from wearing her silly drink. Smelling like a still was not on her list of fun things to do, after all!

She was sorry that she had to say the things she did.. she knew they were harsh words, and was quite proud of John for not going berserk over them... although she wouldn't have really blamed him if he had.

o.0 How the heck did Maxi even think that she would associate herself with barn yard animals... they were no kin of hers... these days they were so full of chemicals and gene altering drugs that they almost didn't count as animals anymore... so it was quite easy to shrug off his worry over insulting her!

"Her face does not matter... all that matters is that you learn from her death you big dumb lug!" Orange eyes narrowing dangerously. If they both got too drunk to figure things out she was going to have to wake them up a bit... "The Universe never does anything without a reason, and despite your self absorbed whining, the Universe doesn't do things just to torture you!"

The waitress arrived and Raven slid into an empty chair again, smiling sweetly at the girl before she scurried away again and Raven shot a glare at Max's words before turning it back to John the heat in her glare almost enough to burn. "Since I really dislike being electrocuted..." With a move as fast as a striking snake, she snatched up a convenient steak knife and stabbed it a good two inches into the table top in front of Tomorrow so that the blade and handle wobbled slightly with the violence of the move. "...slit your wrists instead and I will make certain that no one bothers you until you are quite past the point of saving... I can do that at least for an old friend who thinks he has nothing at all left worth living for!"

"Would it matter if I said yes? Human isnt so bad if you cook it right. Your looking for judgement and punishment, we're clearly just monsters for not condeming you. Here I thought it would make you happy to be accepted by your friends." He laughed a small little chuckle of a thing that really carried no mirth and turned to his burger. That seemed to occupy the stately Shadow. What's wrong with you two? - The words burned in his head like a vicious brand. He loved Tomorrow as a friend and a brother, but he tell he wasnt getting anywhere. It was best to enjoy the moment before it fell to pieces. At the sound of steel and wood, Max took an immediate stern face, looking past Tomorrow at Raven with a deep from pulling down both sides of his face. He finished chewing a large bit of burger, swallowed a gulp of water and said. "Thats not fair Raven..."

He let out a long dramatic sigh. "You know damned good and well I would have said exactly that, but he might have run off terrified and blow up a farm girl and we wouldnt seem him for another few years."

Then he smelled it. Coppery and metallic, it had a certain tang ever predator knew. To be fair, he hadnt paid attention to what exactly happened with the knife only that a knife was involved. And now, his mismatched eyes locked on Tomorrow's hand, the steak knife, and the blood.

The cool, calm, and relaxed smile on Maximos' face was gone in a flash replace with something like seething anger, before that too was swallowed by stillness. Maximos' lips were a pale line across his face, his eyes were open and focused, and his right eye burned like a torch jammed into his skull spewing out white like flame.

"Enough." Maximos said in a voice cold enough to chill a drink if it were aimed that way. "Is this what you want?"

It really only took a passive gesture, it had been practiced so much. Maximos reached out his right hand and grabbed at the air, the shadows swirled in arms and tendrils and formed the object he was grabbing for even as he completed his grip. A jet black long sword, shining like polished obsidian. It was a sword just like this that took that other arm. Maximos' eyes sought out and would then refused to leave Tomorrow. "Is this what you came back for? So we, no...so I could judge you, and give you absolution for your sins? I LET you go Johnathan, I could have taken you right then, and she --"

Maximos gestured with his free hand straight at Raven. "-- would have been powerless to stop me. Will that make you happy? Let someone off you so you dont have to feel bad? Do you think I want to kill you? Do you think I deserve that pain? Do you think she deserves to mourn you? Do you think thats the image I want to be seen as, to one of my best friends?! Did you even think of anyone else at all?"

Maximos face twisted in a deep frown. "Of course not. You dont even care about that little girl, just what you did to her and what that makes you. Your not here for us."

The Shadow spat the word, flicking the sword out to his side, spraying excess black like paint. "Your here for yourself. You dont want her or me."

"You want your big scary boogieman. Right? Then here." The sword moved in a blur, flipping once and stabbing straight down into the ground in front of Maximos. "Take it. Live out your little fantasy."

And with that, Maximos turned and began walking off through the startled crowd, victims of shock, then bloodshed, now sudden shadow magic and swords, and towards the door. He tried his best to help, but it wasnt enough. It was never going to be enough. Tomorrow would judge him a fiend and a terror before taking his help. He didnt need anyones judgements. He didnt look back, he just called over his shoulder and said, "If you want a friend, you know where to find me. Goodnight Raven."

And with that, Maximos left, fully aware no one was going to follow him. He had alot of issues to settle with Tomorrow, alot of sins to make ammends for...but for so long as he was the damned Shadowbourne Devil of Tomorrow's nightmares, he hadnt a chance. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, and walking but it just hurt too much to stay.

John's eyes were filled with fear as Maximos brandished the weapon, at first trying to stand to escape the shadow-man, but finding himself pinned to the table by his own hand, wincing and groaning in pain as he yanked on it accidentally. Sweat began to bead on his brow as his eyes flitted from the tip of the blade to the shadow-man's eyes, before heaving a sigh of releif as Max stabbed the sword into the ground and walked away.



Then he was gone, Raven quick to follow. The crowd swallowed them, and John was alone once more.

He didn't know what to do, at first. He felt lost all over again - normalicy ripped away, with no-one to blame but himself. His eyes welling with tears, he looked down at the knife in his hand, and gripping it tightly by the hilt, yanked it out with a grunt, placing it back onto the table before reaching behind him to pull out his bandanna, wrapping it around the wound to staunch the bleeding.

He heaved a heavy sigh, looking down at the food before him situated before two empty seats.

"...I dont know what i want..." He whispered to no-one, cradling his injured hand in his lap. "...I'm in trouble...my memory, my senses, are all screwed up... all I know is, this family took me in and cared for me...." He placed his metallic hand on his face, covering his tears. "I didn't mean to....for gods sakes, I didn't mean to....and I know i cant take it back, i know there's nothing i can do, but for gods sakes, that doesnt make the pain go away....losing myself didn't make the pain go away....nothing will make the pain go away."

He looked over to the obsidion sword, jutting lewdly from the ground, an offront to everything normal in this world. He gritted his teeth throgh the tears, before fear made him tear his eyes away from it. "...And that definately wont make it go away."

He had tried...death. But...it had not agreed with him. Time and time again, he would find himself clawing his way back to health. Poison had not worked. Cutting had not worked. He'd even tried hanging - but that hadn't worked either. He had eventually realised that he would have to live with it, live with the pain and shame of himself.

He had tried to relay that to Raven and Max.

He didn't want them to accept nor condemn him. He wanted them to understand. Understand that these had been people who had accepted him as family. He had broken bread with them, shared pain and fear with them, laughed and cried with them. He hadn't remembered anything about himself before landing in Tyler's field - to him, the Tyler's were his family. And with no warning, no heed whatsoever, he had destroyed them. He wanted to explain to Max and Raven that he had killed his family.

But he had failed. He hadn't justified the gravity of Emillie 's life. He'd bathed her, fed her, made her laugh. She wasn't just a stranger. None of the Tylers had just been strangers. They had been all he knew.

So he sat, drunkenly sobbing into his hand, pitifully wishing he had never come back. All it had done was rip open wounds that had never truely healed, and made fresh ones once more.

He smashed his right fist into the table, blood splattering underneath. "What did she look like?!" He cried suddenly, his frustration beginning to mount within his pitiful sorrow. "Damn the gods and their ways!" He placed his hand onto his forehead, smearing blood into his hair and face as he looked at the slab of meat before him, as if it held the answers. "....What was his name...what was the boy's name?!"

Why couldn't he remember?!

He was breathing heavily now, and through the pounding headache that was assaulting him, he had a sudden shot of deja-vu -

***Running through the woods at night, tearing his clothes off as his body burned, heating up like it was made of white-hot fire...gripping his shaved head, tearing the padded gauze away to cause the stiched hole to rupture, blood spilling onto his shoulder....he writhed on the ground, groaning and shreiking, screaming questions out to the heavens. Who was...? Why couldnt...? How did...? These questions tore at him, made him slaver and foam as he pounded his fists into the ground, causing the earth to tremble as the maddness took hold, causing him to throw these questions away and roar his frustrations into the night, into the inky blackness, where monsters and death lived...***

- And then he was back, his head screaming in agony, his hand dripping blood on the floor from where he was gripping the table with white-knuckled fury, the other hand gripping it so hard the wood had splintered, and he was breathing hysterical gasps and there were people surrounding him, and he didn't know what to do.

"This guy is freaking out!"

"Someone call a doctor, i think he's having a seizure!"

"Stay back, he looks deranged!"

"Jeez, he's bleeding all over the place - someone call the cops!"

This wasn't going well.