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 Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:08 am
Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:13 am
sikh-91 Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad Clonidine. It has absolutely no effect. xp I've also tried acupuncture and hypnotism. No go.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:47 am
Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad Clonidine. It has absolutely no effect. xp I've also tried acupuncture and hypnotism. No go. D:> Can't you see a proffesional about it? whee
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:47 am
sikh-91 Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad Clonidine. It has absolutely no effect. xp I've also tried acupuncture and hypnotism. No go. D:> Can't you see a proffesional about it? whee You mean like a prescriber?
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:29 am
Dystopian Lover peoplers So yeh, my bf isn't really as bad as i made him out to be sweatdrop You have to have somewhere to complain, and this is it. I TOTALLY understand... every time I talk about my BF to most of my friends, and usually on here, it's to b***h, which is partially because I also feel bad about bragging on my relationship.
...And because my best friend goes into b***h mode when I discuss the awesomeness of my relationship and says all kinds of blatantly jealous things like 'my BF wouldn't be that nice if his life depended on it,' 'I wish I had your BF,' etc. and it pisses me off a bit. We've known each other for fourteen years, can't she just be happy that I'm happy? Sheesh. xDI don't have that problem cause my best friend is live majorly in love with her bf... is scary how amazing she thinks he is... he can do no wrong! one of my uni friends though is single and gets kinda upset about it, especially since all of her friends here have bf's and she's never had one! and i feel so bad because our two friends we hang out recently got together and i feel i can't take my bf out to meet them all properly cause she'd have nobody! crying
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:03 am
I think I'm gonna ask my mother if I can move in with her for a while. It really says a lot about my dad that his bullshit is upsetting me enough that she seems like a better option right now. I would feel bad for leaving my brother alone with him, and there's no way I'll be able to persuade him to come with, but at this point I can't bring myself to care enough to stay.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:09 am
Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad Clonidine. It has absolutely no effect. xp I've also tried acupuncture and hypnotism. No go. D:> Can't you see a proffesional about it? whee You mean like a prescriber? I'm not sure what that is for you xD Errm, like you know when people have problems with their body because it's all twitchy or something wrong with the nerves, they usually provide you with activities or something. Like those people who get those proffesionals to help them with their leg when they come out of surgery.
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:52 am
sikh-91 Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha sikh-91 Kestin Sha Twitches flaring up majorly. Why now, on top of everything else? gonk I give up. I'm just going to go cry. While moving my fingers around in bizarre ways. aswa Zxbn D: Do you take anything for this? sad Clonidine. It has absolutely no effect. xp I've also tried acupuncture and hypnotism. No go. D:> Can't you see a proffesional about it? whee You mean like a prescriber? I'm not sure what that is for you xD Errm, like you know when people have problems with their body because it's all twitchy or something wrong with the nerves, they usually provide you with activities or something. Like those people who get those proffesionals to help them with their leg when they come out of surgery. Oh, a PT? It's not a physical thing, exactly...tic disorders manifest physically, but the base of operations is in the neural center. *is probably making up entirely new words at this point to force the facts into a less brainiac phrasing* Erm, if that makes any sense. xp 'Sides, my school has a PT and she's never brought it up, so I'm guessing it wouldn't be a viable solution. (And thankfully so. I can't stand the woman. gonk Spending more than the requisite hour a week with her would take some serious consideration about whether it was worth it.)
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:13 am
Kestin Sha Oh, a PT? It's not a physical thing, exactly...tic disorders manifest physically, but the base of operations is in the neural center. *is probably making up entirely new words at this point to force the facts into a less brainiac phrasing* Erm, if that makes any sense. xp 'Sides, my school has a PT and she's never brought it up, so I'm guessing it wouldn't be a viable solution. (And thankfully so. I can't stand the woman. gonk Spending more than the requisite hour a week with her would take some serious consideration about whether it was worth it.) Have you tried it out, because it might help you. sad
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 10:15 am
Peoplers feels sad because she has a book of quotes that she writes down good quotes in and she hasn't written any in it in AGES!
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:09 am
So, my boyfriend and I were kind of "vigorous" today, and we managed to knock my computer onto the floor. Guess what? The computer landed on the corner where the power cord connects to the computer, so now my DC port is broken. Again. I feel like I go through more DC ports than anyone I know. I am really unhappy right now and I don't know when I'll be able to get online again.
At least I have enough battery power to go through and pay all of my bills, just in case they have to keep my computer for a long time. o.o
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:11 am
Dystopian Lover So, my boyfriend and I were kind of "vigorous" today, and we managed to knock my computer onto the floor. Guess what? The computer landed on the corner where the power cord connects to the computer, so now my DC port is broken. Again. I feel like I go through more DC ports than anyone I know. I am really unhappy right now and I don't know when I'll be able to get online again.
At least I have enough battery power to go through and pay all of my bills, just in case they have to keep my computer for a long time. o.o oopies! my computer is on a desk far away from anywhere where something like that might happen... in FACT it's also in a cupboard so i think it would be quite safe! hope it gets fixed soon *hugs*
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:13 am
peoplers Dystopian Lover So, my boyfriend and I were kind of "vigorous" today, and we managed to knock my computer onto the floor. Guess what? The computer landed on the corner where the power cord connects to the computer, so now my DC port is broken. Again. I feel like I go through more DC ports than anyone I know. I am really unhappy right now and I don't know when I'll be able to get online again.
At least I have enough battery power to go through and pay all of my bills, just in case they have to keep my computer for a long time. o.o oopies! my computer is on a desk far away from anywhere where something like that might happen... in FACT it's also in a cupboard so i think it would be quite safe! hope it gets fixed soon *hugs* You're smart. I need to learn from you and protect my computer better. /goes to get ready to part with her beloved computer. D:
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 11:18 am
Dystopian Lover peoplers Dystopian Lover So, my boyfriend and I were kind of "vigorous" today, and we managed to knock my computer onto the floor. Guess what? The computer landed on the corner where the power cord connects to the computer, so now my DC port is broken. Again. I feel like I go through more DC ports than anyone I know. I am really unhappy right now and I don't know when I'll be able to get online again.
At least I have enough battery power to go through and pay all of my bills, just in case they have to keep my computer for a long time. o.o oopies! my computer is on a desk far away from anywhere where something like that might happen... in FACT it's also in a cupboard so i think it would be quite safe! hope it gets fixed soon *hugs* You're smart. I need to learn from you and protect my computer better. /goes to get ready to part with her beloved computer. D: *hugs* i'm sure you'll be ok! just find somewhere safe to keep it when you get it back so that things like that won't happen anymore! tbh my bf keeps his laptop on his pull out bed underneath his bed and i'm suprised we haven't broken it yet somehow...
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Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:18 pm
A few months ago, I had thoughts that I was starting to feel like a normal person of society again. The problems in my head weren't that bad from how they used to be, I had some pretty decent friends, my grades were fine, I was able to ignore my family for a majority of the time. I was truly living in paradise in my eyes, and thus a lie.
After realizing that some people are nothing more than pricks, my family will never let me live a normal life and are only there to incite anger and pent of frustrations/problems in me, and that my Pyromania, Anger issues MPD, Mass self esteem problems and paranoia only lie just under the surface waiting to reveal themselves when they feel like ******** me over when I'm at my peak.
I feel like I'm fighting a ghost, I'm powerless and nothing has come even near helping me with anything lately, It's only getting worse too. My TV is currently broken because I accidentally set the heat on 1 degree too high, (It only shows the degree's in sets of 5 intervals with abut 3/4th's of an inch between the numbers.)
She (Grandmother) chucked a remote at me, missed and hit my TV, now demanding that I pay for it because I should have let her hit me. Disregarding the fact I wasn't looking at her, and was standing completely still when she threw it. Sad part is, s**t like this happens all the time.
If I don't pay for it I lose the iPod, which cost almost double the TV and both of which I paid for myself.
As for the friends thing, I'm suddenly being completely ignored or sneered at by several people I've known for reasons beyond my knowledge. I don't even think I did anything. While going in with 2 of my supposed closer friends who actually didn't ignore me that day, one of them pipped up and said, "Kid, why are you following us? Why the ******** are you even here? Go away"
This coming from a long time friend who I've known for over 3 years and have been to countless parties with, we even had a shitload of inside jokes. The other guy who I knew slightly less didn't say anything and just kept walking.
That ******** is about half my size and a year younger than me and talked down to me like I was some freshman following him around, he didn't even use my name when he told me to go away.
I honestly don't know why I'm being ignored. :/ I'll usually crack a few jokes with friends sometimes I can be quiet but that's pretty rare. I don't gossip about them like some preteen girl (Which a lot of my friends do about others). I'm not really mad at them, I'm just confused about it all.
Or maybe I am mad about it, maybe my mind isn't letting my accept it. Maybe I'm pissed about going back to step one for no reason I honestly don't know. I felt I was doing so good, returning to normal life again and now it all goes to s**t.
I don't know what's worse, that I might not be mad at having all the people I used to call friends completely disregard my existence, or that I don't even know if I'm mad about it.
Anyway, after that I decided to go to the park rather then show up to my last 2 classes, which I would just get sneered at. Found a lighter and a pack of matches while walking (Nothing new at our park) did some stuff, left before anyone noticed and just walked around the road till about 1:40 where I had a problem of whether I just wanted to say ******** it and leave and not come back for a few days to which I decided against after much debating with myself.
Finally, I want someone that isn't online to talk too, I wish it was a few years ago again. When I had someone like that, who I could dump my problems on and feel better afterwards. I know I'm never getting that opportunity again because us two had a special bond when we ranted on each other. We entrusted ours lives to each other. When I let it loose, I felt she was still here, she would still listen despite my mistake of letting go and not being here. My childish views change nothing and eventually I realized she is gone and ain't coming back.
Now, what I've done here, how I've all but stopped replying and making new threads save for a rare occasion, a game thread or most frequent posts, this thread. Along with ignoring several comments, not talking as often or at all, and just plain being secluded.
Now, maybe I'm not posting and not talking much because of what people may think of me from months ago? No, I would still talk to other friends from other places if that was the case, which it's not. The only person I really talk to frequently is Haze on Gaia.
Maybe I've just lost trust in people? Also incorrect for I've held trust in people outside of Gaia in the form of friendship (Which ******** me over as you can see above)
I honestly have no idea. I can't explain it and can't think of any reasons that do not contradict themselves. Also I don't know why my rants spread out so much. I start typing and suddenly I'm on a whole different topic than what I started.
/rant
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