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my band teacher tells us to " use the big fat squishy part on ur butt to sit down." o man 1 of the girls made a joke about that but about another body part.

THis one time, at band camp.... Our drum mager is like, total muscle and all, and all of our gaurd leaders have dated him. His name is Brandon. This car drives by through the parking lot when we were heading in for our break and he screams to the cars, "I'll give you 5 dollars per band student you hit! 20 for each gaurd member!"

Then all of a sudden, without thinking I called out, "And I'll give you 50 for every Drum major!"
Good times, band camp is.
Oh, and he makes us lean to the side, going into a circular motion, counting (1-2-3-4, then 1-2-3, then 1-2) then at the last rotation he screams out "OHHHHHHHHHHH!" like he's having an orgasm.

My favorite was when my Middle School director said, excuse me, Flute why arent u playing.

I looked at her, then down at my oboe then back at her again. "Flutes only she said"

And so for the rest of the week I played my Oboe Obtuse sideways like the flutes

well our band director has a little bit of a grammar problem so she'll say things like "you guys are doing the most best job i have seen in a while" and usually things like that will ruin the moment in out huddle up and everyone will crack up laughing. xp

our marching director is just all out funny. he likes to act like different stereotypes at random moments and will bust out with "oh no girl you didn't" as we are marching rofl oh yeah-he also likes to spell things to correct people. (not so great at spelling on que)

"I know when I mess up I go down...."
- Mark (the marching/visual director)
"Make sure your feet are parallel to the front and back hash. P-A-R-R-A-L-L-E-L... whatever..."
-Mark
"When you march, be sure your upper body is forward, F-O-R-W-A-R-D, HA i can spell that!"
-Mark

Well, actually... I am the reason my teacher said weird things. I was such a weirdo in her class, she got really weird. After I went to High School, she said that she missed the days when I was in her class. Basically, I am one-of-a-kind. Yep. She also had a lot of bumper stickers around the bad room with weird sayings on them.

ok my teacher has done alot of stuff (hope i can think of them.....

one day durin rehersal my band teacher dlo (nickname) said we played like a wet bolgna trying to get out of the package.

another time he said we played like a hamster trying to fart.

he makes these weird twitches and faces he has a "raptor mode"

theres alot more but i cant remember.....

The other day the drumline was practicing for competition, mallets too, and there's a cow bell part. My director and the drum instructor were sitting next to each other and the instructor was like: "There's something missing, something I'm not hearing." And my band director looks over and says: "You gotta have more cowbell." W00tness for Christopher Walken and SNL!

My second band director asked me (direct quote) "Have you ever put a peep in a microwave?"

And my third band director has said so many things...I need to start writing them down. My perrcussion instructor during sectionals told us (not exact but basically it) "If you guys keep doing this you'll get nailed...wait, can't say nailed cause you all want to get nailed...can't say screwed or hammered....(after a two minute lapse of thinking)...If you do this you will be analy raped!"

My first band director said two many things I can't remember...I miss him. Stupid law school.

I've got a few really good ones. And a few of those I can't share.

One of our tenors we call "Moses". She's a red-head who's "seen the burning bush".

Maddie, the strangest horn player ever, was strwtching and you could see her stomach. So Gina, another horn player, and I, a horn as well, both start rubbing her belly. So Mr. Ferrara comes over as MAddie is making little sounds of joy and walks off, muttering, "Damned horn orgies..."

Mr. Ferrara has about ten different nicknames. Some of them being F-dawg, Mr. Lovely, and Homie F-dizzle. He's so Italian it burns.

We were doing a funk show last year and during Brick House, we were supposed to "strut" around the field. We tried this once or twice, and then he stopped us, saying, "You guys are seriously the whitest people I have ever seen."

This year, we did a swing show. There is this great low brass feature in one of the songs and the rest of the band is in this snake kinda thing that unravels and we get to dance. (This is right after a scatter) So I'm the first person in this thing and I'm breaking it down and then he cuts everyone off. And just looks at me. I'm annoyed and yell, "You've just thrown off the emperor's groove!" He starts laughing insanely and tells the ow brass to start playing again so the rest of the not-yet-awesomely-grooving-up-to-par parts of the band can study my "groov-ology".

We have this huge inside joke type thing that involves Ferris Bueller. Everyone has seen the movie and quotes it everywhere. So whenever someone asks a questions with the word, "nine" in it, he just does this really weird voice and says, "Nine times...."