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ZonkotheSane

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:58 pm


kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Amen. I want to marry young and have babies before 25. So there's definetley an emphasis on G-d willing.
eh, that's not so young. you've never heard of "senior calahs"
Guess not, but if I had my way I'd have kids as soon as I was settled with a husband. Unfortunately I have to find a way to pay for said kids. blaugh
that would be what the husband is for.
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:14 pm


ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Amen. I want to marry young and have babies before 25. So there's definetley an emphasis on G-d willing.
eh, that's not so young. you've never heard of "senior calahs"
Guess not, but if I had my way I'd have kids as soon as I was settled with a husband. Unfortunately I have to find a way to pay for said kids. blaugh
that would be what the husband is for.
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
This is true. That and I wouldn't want to miss the first parts of my babies life. I'd be devistated.

kingpinsqeezels


darkphoenix1247
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:17 pm


kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Guess not, but if I had my way I'd have kids as soon as I was settled with a husband. Unfortunately I have to find a way to pay for said kids. blaugh
that would be what the husband is for.
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
This is true. That and I wouldn't want to miss the first parts of my babies life. I'd be devistated.


Agreed. I also hate the idea of relying on a husband for my well-being; that just strikes me as old-fashioned and silly. What if something horrible happens and you end up being a widow? Just wait around and try to get married again so you can be supported and not have to do work? Bleh! blaugh
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 5:27 pm


darkphoenix1247
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Guess not, but if I had my way I'd have kids as soon as I was settled with a husband. Unfortunately I have to find a way to pay for said kids. blaugh
that would be what the husband is for.
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
This is true. That and I wouldn't want to miss the first parts of my babies life. I'd be devistated.


Agreed. I also hate the idea of relying on a husband for my well-being; that just strikes me as old-fashioned and silly. What if something horrible happens and you end up being a widow? Just wait around and try to get married again so you can be supported and not have to do work? Bleh! blaugh
I have the same fear of dependence. Ick.

kingpinsqeezels


Divash
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 6:18 pm


Chas v'shalom, chalilah, puh puh puh! Why are we talking about being widowed, before you're even married, b'ezrat Hashem?
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:29 pm


kingpinsqeezels
darkphoenix1247
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
This is true. That and I wouldn't want to miss the first parts of my babies life. I'd be devistated.


Agreed. I also hate the idea of relying on a husband for my well-being; that just strikes me as old-fashioned and silly. What if something horrible happens and you end up being a widow? Just wait around and try to get married again so you can be supported and not have to do work? Bleh! blaugh
I have the same fear of dependence. Ick.
which is why we have kesubas (marriage contracts). also might be a good idea to get an education before having too many kids, so that one can work when the need arises. this obviously applies to both sexes.

i don't think both parents working full time is a good thing at all, especially during a child's formative years.

ZonkotheSane


kingpinsqeezels

PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 8:00 pm


ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
darkphoenix1247
kingpinsqeezels
ZonkotheSane
kingpinsqeezels
Aaah yes. I forgot I'm supposed to be stay at home. Oh well.
that's not true.

but then again, someone has to watch the kid(s), at least til they're old enough for day-care. i have a 20 month old brother i babysit all the time
This is true. That and I wouldn't want to miss the first parts of my babies life. I'd be devistated.


Agreed. I also hate the idea of relying on a husband for my well-being; that just strikes me as old-fashioned and silly. What if something horrible happens and you end up being a widow? Just wait around and try to get married again so you can be supported and not have to do work? Bleh! blaugh
I have the same fear of dependence. Ick.
which is why we have kesubas (marriage contracts). also might be a good idea to get an education before having too many kids, so that one can work when the need arises. this obviously applies to both sexes.

i don't think both parents working full time is a good thing at all, especially during a child's formative years.
Agreed. That's what my parents did because they had to and I hope I will never be forced to work and raise a child...It might drive me crazy.
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 7:36 am


I do agree with you that parents shouldn't work full time in a child's early years, but what of the rest of their life? It's sort of expected, even in today's society, that if one parent stays home and becomes a homemaker, it's the female. It was that way thousands of years ago in the Torah, but I certainly don't agree with it now. sweatdrop

And yes, I know I've got loads of time to worry about that sort of thing at all, but it doesn't change the fact it's still important, and I really don't want to end up jobless my whole life. sweatdrop

darkphoenix1247
Vice Captain


ZonkotheSane

PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:18 pm


darkphoenix1247
I do agree with you that parents shouldn't work full time in a child's early years, but what of the rest of their life? It's sort of expected, even in today's society, that if one parent stays home and becomes a homemaker, it's the female. It was that way thousands of years ago in the Torah, but I certainly don't agree with it now. sweatdrop

And yes, I know I've got loads of time to worry about that sort of thing at all, but it doesn't change the fact it's still important, and I really don't want to end up jobless my whole life. sweatdrop
you know you're just being feminist rolleyes

in all seriousness, though it certainly is a shared responsibility, one cannot argue the fact that men and women are created quite differently. men are better at some things, women at others. in my opinion, those who claim that a man can be an at-home parent while the woman works have obviously never witnessed such a thing, and do not speak from experience.

don't get me wrong: i'm hardly a bigoted, narrow minded sexist (how come it's feminist for women, but it's sexist for men? doesn't sound very fair). i just find it annoying when other people are.

and i don't know where got this notion that child-rearing is a full-time job with no retirement.
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:30 pm


Personally, I think it's a little sad to see a couple married for years, but don't have children because they want to study, get a job, build a big house, and a billion other things before they actually have a child.

Same goes for those who get married around the age 40 because of the reasons I mentioned above, whether it be for an education, more money, a house, a job or fame...

I'm not saying that it's not okay to want to get a stable job before having children, I'd even go as far to say it's a requirement. But to postpone having children by 10-20 years because you want to get an education, make a lot of money, and move into a big house is NOT okay, and I think that people who do that are making a big mistake...

The amount of people that hold off this great mitzvah is not small, and I think it's a shame.

nathan_ngl
Crew


darkphoenix1247
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:36 pm


First things first, to Yoni:

Why is it a bad thing to be a feminist? The only downside is that some people take it too far, where they think females are better then males and are constantly whining about being prejudiced. I am a feminist in the sort that feels men and women should be treated equally in terms of things like wages, etc. While quite aware that men and women ARE different, there are some things that aren't right.

So, I don't think it's right for people to assume the female must always stay home and raise the children, while the men go out and work. Preconcepted notions of what is "right" and "wrong" annoy me.

Child-rearing in the early years is completely a full time job: my mom was stuck raising twins and a toddler at the same time, and she was incapable of doing everything, along with a job, for a while. I've also seen other people try it, and it's not as easy as it looks. (And it never looked easy) So eventually you could get back to work, but by then, you'd have to work even more getting back into practice and such.

To Nathan:

Don't get me wrong- I don't mean to offend you at all by saying this, and I'm really really sorry if I do, but I kind of disagree with you. Personally, I want to get married after college, around mid 20s or so, as I really don't want to worry about being married in school with everything else. It's not necessary for me to be living in a big house, or living with everything I want, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to support my kids. I doubt I can get much education done while pregnant, especially in the later stages, so that is also a limitation of what I can do. For example, I'd be unable to do anything the last month of my pregnancy, and at least the next year, if not more, after that: I'm not about to let some nanny raise my child, or be absent during some of the most important times of their lives. I can't exactly do that if I'm still in college. sweatdrop
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:02 pm


darkphoenix1247
First things first, to Yoni:

Why is it a bad thing to be a feminist? The only downside is that some people take it too far, where they think females are better then males and are constantly whining about being prejudiced. I am a feminist in the sort that feels men and women should be treated equally in terms of things like wages, etc. While quite aware that men and women ARE different, there are some things that aren't right.
i agree with you completely, as far as rights and wages etc. but i feel the "i can do anything you can do, better" attitude is over the top as well". maybe you can, maybe you can't, but one's own personal ability is hardly reason to replace established generalities.

Quote:
So, I don't think it's right for people to assume the female must always stay home and raise the children, while the men go out and work. Preconcepted notions of what is "right" and "wrong" annoy me.
right and wrong don't really come into this. it's more about practical/impractical. and you're not reading what i said very carefully.

Quote:
Child-rearing in the early years is completely a full time job: my mom was stuck raising twins and a toddler at the same time, and she was incapable of doing everything, along with a job, for a while. I've also seen other people try it, and it's not as easy as it looks. (And it never looked easy) So eventually you could get back to work, but by then, you'd have to work even more getting back into practice and such.
avadah

ZonkotheSane


nathan_ngl
Crew

PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 6:23 pm


darkphoenix1247

To Nathan:

Don't get me wrong- I don't mean to offend you at all by saying this, and I'm really really sorry if I do, but I kind of disagree with you. Personally, I want to get married after college, around mid 20s or so, as I really don't want to worry about being married in school with everything else. It's not necessary for me to be living in a big house, or living with everything I want, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be able to support my kids. I doubt I can get much education done while pregnant, especially in the later stages, so that is also a limitation of what I can do. For example, I'd be unable to do anything the last month of my pregnancy, and at least the next year, if not more, after that: I'm not about to let some nanny raise my child, or be absent during some of the most important times of their lives. I can't exactly do that if I'm still in college. sweatdrop


That's not what I was referring to sweatdrop

I meant people who carry on after their education too, and yet still don't have children... They just look for one thing after the other... money, job, house, fame... And they forget the most important of all... Building their family.
PostPosted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 3:28 pm


I like a jewish boy....

grendel_ate_sarah


kingpinsqeezels

PostPosted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:03 pm


darlinggirlsarah
I like a jewish boy....
Man, I wish I was in the same boat.

But you know Cindy/Yoni, and this is no offense to you Cindy, I don't think you are really a bra burner, but feminist litterally make me crazy. Not that I'm saying we should go back to the old ways, nor do I think men are incapible of taking our places as "homemakers", but you have to admit, since we are the ones gestating children, we have a significant place in the home. Now for women like you, who want to be doctors, lawyers, etc. Kudos! I think that's wonderful, and I think it shows the capibility of women to do more than mend clothing and cook a supper, but at the same time, I'm proud of the fact that I will be able to feed my husband and children, clean the house, do the laundry, because I think it's fun. Bra burning is just a little unnessesary, and always will be. You don't have to be angry at men to get your point across.
Believe it or not, men don't do things on purpose a lot of times, and they can actually be pretty nice once you get over the fact that they can't go a day without doing something...unintelligent. Example:
"Don't I look good in this dress?"
"You look gorgeous, but are your hips supposed to look weird?"
That actualy happened to me too.
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