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 Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 5:52 pm
Pilas She's your mom, she'll understand if you're bisexual or gay. Parents are much more understanding than you think. They've been there. Explain to her your opinion and offer to answer any questions she has. Tell her that just because you're gay, that doesn't make you a creepo or any less her son. It'll mean a lot to her that you were honest and felt like you could talk to her. If she gets angry, try and see it from her side. Whatever you do, don't get angry. That'll only escalate the situation. not to argue or nuthin' but mom would definetly not stay calm throught this conversation, she is havong a horrible time. we just found out that my 16 yer old sister is pregnant, so this would not be a god thing......i told her that we could write back and forth to eachother in a composition notebook i found in my room, a few days ago i suggested it and i wrote a very heart felt note about her stealing my Tarot cards and she said that she wont give them back to me because she doesnt think that they're alright. i told her that i know she doesnt like them but what i do in my life is up to me, what i do with the knowledge i have attained through out my years as a child is a decision that i have to make. if i get into troubble then i will learn on my own that somehing is not acceptable. now if only i could think of something to write in there about my bi-ness....
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 6:34 pm
I live in south dakota and i swear im the only gay kid in like 1,000 mile radius and im still in the closet then only person who knows is my brother but he doesnt live with me becuase i live with my mom and he lives with my dad 700 miles away. But anyways when I hang out with my friends which are obvously straight they start making fun of gay people and make gay jokes and yadda yadda.....the worst part is i try an not say anything or comment what they are saying but they always pull me into the convo. so i make jokes and make fun of gay people with them just to cover up for me becuase i really dont want anyone to know im gay yet and it builds up and gets me very depressed and i just dont know what to do can anyone help me?
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:00 pm
Ah...another one of these stories. They're so fun to help, plus they're the ones I'm best at. ^_^
First of all, did you ever question if they're REALLY your friends? If they are, they wouldn't dislike you for not partaking in the conversation. Plus, what do you think they'd do if they found out? If the answer is they would hate you, shun you, and or make fun of you, then they obviously aren't your friends and you should just stop hanging out with them and try to find new ones that would understand you. You don't want to be with someone that would judge what you are. Let's say for example you were a dog and you were hanging out with a group of cats. Those cats are always making fun of the dogs, but they don't know you're a dog. You'd maybe want to hang out with the birds that get along with the dogs. You know what I mean?
I'm sure that there is someone that shares your ordeal. You can't just look at people or simply say hi or listen to them in class. You have to get to know them. I understand you want to keep it secret, but maybe if you started to let people know (that you can trust, of course) then you'll get along with more people that don't make fun of you for who you are.
Also, if you want to keep being with that group of friends, I think you should tell them, "hey, it's not nice to make fun of someone just because they have a different sexual preferance than you." Even though that may cause them to say you're gay, or to shun you, that doesn't mean you shouldn't stick up for what you believe. Just be yourself. And if someone has a problem with that, then don't be near them. That's what will make you depressed.
If I didn't make sense, or you want to talk more on the issue, feel free to PM me.
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 8:50 pm
Mines the tipical story of the kid who told his parents and his parents rejecting him. My parents dont know that I have been seeing the school counsler for about three weeks now. My parents hate me they hardly talk to me unless they are rude and erogent /evil comments.How am i supposed to talk to my parents who used to love me but now reject me
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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:10 pm
Ouch...that must really hurt. Well...I think that the best thing would be to try and be nice to them as much as possible. Invite them to play a card or board game with you, make them a card, maybe bake them something, have dinner ready for them when they get home...just try to get them to see how wonderful you are and that your sexuality doesn't change anything about you. You're parents are supposed to raise you and make you the best that you can be. Show them that they have and that just because your gay, that doesn't make you a complete failure.
And if that doesn't work, I guess the best thing to do would be to just avoid them as much as possible so that you don't get depressed over the issue. Just hang out with your friends, go to a library, go to a arcade, or play video games in your room...stuff to keep your mind off of the subject.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:29 pm
inu_yashahollic Pilas She's your mom, she'll understand if you're bisexual or gay. Parents are much more understanding than you think. They've been there. Explain to her your opinion and offer to answer any questions she has. Tell her that just because you're gay, that doesn't make you a creepo or any less her son. It'll mean a lot to her that you were honest and felt like you could talk to her. If she gets angry, try and see it from her side. Whatever you do, don't get angry. That'll only escalate the situation. not to argue or nuthin' but mom would definetly not stay calm throught this conversation, she is havong a horrible time. we just found out that my 16 yer old sister is pregnant, so this would not be a god thing......i told her that we could write back and forth to eachother in a composition notebook i found in my room, a few days ago i suggested it and i wrote a very heart felt note about her stealing my Tarot cards and she said that she wont give them back to me because she doesnt think that they're alright. i told her that i know she doesnt like them but what i do in my life is up to me, what i do with the knowledge i have attained through out my years as a child is a decision that i have to make. if i get into troubble then i will learn on my own that somehing is not acceptable. now if only i could think of something to write in there about my bi-ness.... Well what do I know? My mother's are lesbian and my dad hates just about everything about me.
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 8:57 pm
My mother is a school teacher, and a very open person. She tells me about how she helps her gay students find support all the time. I felt totally safe coming out to her. But when I told her she was like, 'No you are not' and it was weird, she didn't accept me at all. Now she acts like it never happened. Is there any way to get her to realize what I am, and have her accept me as a bisexual person?
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:00 pm
Pilas mad Well what do I know? My mother's are lesbian and my dad hates just about everything about me. Wow...like, me too!
...that's so cool...
...except...I dunno if my dad hates me...but I haven't heard from him in like...ages. But he doesn't know that I'm bisexual...however, he's highly against homosexuality...*sweat drop*
*to inuyashahollic*
Maybe you should wait until she is in a better mood to tell her?
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Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 9:06 pm
*to Paradise Elf*
Uhm...the same thing happened with one of my friends...she told her mom that she is bisexual and her mom just stared at her and then shrugged it off as if it never happened. Even though the mom says she doesn't know, deep down she will always remember what you said. She knows what you are, she just doesn't want to admit it. However, if you want to make sure that you get through to her, you should ask to talk to her. Then go to a room without any distractions and ask her to pay attention to what you say and to just listen to you. Explain to her that you are bisexual and that you find both genders attractive. Let her know that you want her to be able to accept that and that it hurts when she ignores the fact. Just make sure that you have her undivided attention when you tell her. And if once more she says "no you're not," don't let her leave. Tell her that you want her to understand. She can't tell you what your sexuality is. No one can. Keep coming at her. Eventually, she should understand it. *smile*
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:04 pm
Hello! I will probably have quite a few questions to ask, so bear with me. I'll try not to ask them all at once. Over time maybe, but anywho...
I live in California and there are actually quite a few gay/bi/lesbian people that go to our school and we have a whole NCBI group and everything (I'm in it! Yeah!). I just found out that I'm bi (or am fairly sure that I am) not to long ago. I was at a party that my friend threw. Two of my guy friends, who are both pretty accepting were there, along with three other girls who are friends of mine (two I knew were bi also). The subject was brought up, so I said that I was bi too. It was the first time I said it out loud really. Everyone was fine about it...everyone except my bestest friend (girl) who is straight. She was really hurt that I could just say it so simply and that I hadn't told her sooner. She got really mad and said that I don't trust her, which in a way is sort of true...if she reacts like this...I just don't know how to deal with it. I tried to tell her that she was one of the first people to know, but she was still angry last time I talked to her...or tried to. So, any help?
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:24 pm
I think the best thing you can do is to try and talk it out. Tell her you would like to be able to trust her, but if she acts likes this you're not sure that you can. Tell her that you're sorry (but only if you are) that you hadn't told her sooner. Tell her that you just recently found out yourself and didn't get the chance to tell her that you were bisexual. I think the best thing you can do is talk to her.
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 9:31 pm
I like that idea. Thank you! You'll probably be hearing from me about another question fairly soon, but eh, what can you do?
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2005 5:10 pm
OK I have just fully realized I was bi not to long ago and well I'm OK with that but now I have to tell my parents. My dad has said in the past that if I did go gay for any reason he would disown me. Don't say he won't cause you don't know my dad see believe a man has to act a certainty way other wise will never be anything. So my dad is already against my life style. Then there is my mom. She is one of those hardcore christian types that believe gay lesbian and bisexual's are evil and will go to hell. She is more crazy than my dad she has tried to re-educate me when I started to go goth she believes that's evil too, And she would try it again. Well then there is my dads side of the family, OK out of 10 cousins I am the only one with the family name so it is my job to carey on the name and well if I don't they will all hate me for it. Now I know you are thinking that is not so hard well here is my big problem my parents are getting divorced. And I don't want to wait to tell them. I just want to get it out
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2005 1:43 pm
I know that it might be painful, but I don't think that you should tell them. You would be better off telling extended family that wouldn't care if you need to get it off your chest, parents have the capability to screw you over. Just my opinon. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. (ps, men usually react more severely and sometimes violently to news like that.)
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Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2005 8:42 pm
mmm, wow that's a tough situation to be stuck in. I must agree with Kahri; telling them may not be the best idea. It's painful to have to keep it a secret, but it may be in your best interests to do so.
If you do feel that you really must tell them, then I advise that you make sure that atmosphere is calm before you break the news. Don't let it slip in the heat of anger, because it will make things much worse. Try to tell them calmly, and try to keep them calm. Try your best to be ready for anything that might happen. Maybe you would want a friend with you for emotional support. It might make things easier if you don't have to go through it by yourself. You may also want to make plans to stay with a friend for a bit if you need to wait for a little while for tings to cool down at your house.
Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.
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