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| Got secrets? |
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| Total Votes : 263 |
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 Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 12:22 pm
Gabrielle Ghost Creas Kats Kokeshi Doll Creas Creas I just watched the end of FMA. I totally didn't cry, so shut the hell up. Ugh, you're right. If I don't use "like" between every 3 words or act like I have the IQ of a second grader people would call me a nerd. xd I can;t even do that. The only two things I can do when not completely surroneed by my friends is act tired and be intilegent not even paying attention to how i type thisn that's how bad i fell. so damn depressed.,m Ok, I know its school and all, but be yourself. yeah, I was always judged, but keep in mind that these people are just as fake as you are. yes, they're gonna make fun of you. That's how they show their "superiority". But, also keep in mind what the world would be like with out geeks or nerds. No technology, to begin with. No medicine, no books, no math, no buildings, no cars. Life would suck. And sooner or later everyone has to grow up. You don't want to spend your entire life pretending to be someone who you are not. So be the real you, and let those people see that you don't care about them. They are all shallow, and you could be the one who really knows them self. Trust me, they are not worth it. Not so much the making fun of, it's the it'll piss me off, and I'll hurt them and screw myself over.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:52 pm
Tabihito You see, for about nineteen years, they lied to me. My "dad" isn't really my dad. I've never met my biological father. My mom didn't grow up in New York; she'd never been until after I was born. But she had family there, so I never questioned anything. No, she lived almost her entire life in Northern Ireland.
Twenty years ago, my mom and my real father had a one-night drunken stand. When she found out she was pregnant, she fled NI because she thought it was too violent to raise a child. She moved to Virginia, met my "dad" and they got married shortly before I was born. It obviously worked out, since they're still married.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 1:57 pm
Kestin Sha Tabihito You see, for about nineteen years, they lied to me. My "dad" isn't really my dad. I've never met my biological father. My mom didn't grow up in New York; she'd never been until after I was born. But she had family there, so I never questioned anything. No, she lived almost her entire life in Northern Ireland.
Twenty years ago, my mom and my real father had a one-night drunken stand. When she found out she was pregnant, she fled NI because she thought it was too violent to raise a child. She moved to Virginia, met my "dad" and they got married shortly before I was born. It obviously worked out, since they're still married.
But I thought all three of my half-siblings were my full siblings. And they're... apparently not. xD
At least the fact that I can talk rationally about it has to mean that I'm starting to accept it as truth. For a while there I was pretending to myself that it wasn't true. Of course, it DOES explain why I'm whiter than either of my parents (my "dad" is half Cherokee, I should by all rights be pretty dark). Turns out my whiteness doesn't come from my mom's side of the family.... Or at least not all of it.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:00 pm
Tabihito Kestin Sha Tabihito You see, for about nineteen years, they lied to me. My "dad" isn't really my dad. I've never met my biological father. My mom didn't grow up in New York; she'd never been until after I was born. But she had family there, so I never questioned anything. No, she lived almost her entire life in Northern Ireland.
Twenty years ago, my mom and my real father had a one-night drunken stand. When she found out she was pregnant, she fled NI because she thought it was too violent to raise a child. She moved to Virginia, met my "dad" and they got married shortly before I was born. It obviously worked out, since they're still married.
But I thought all three of my half-siblings were my full siblings. And they're... apparently not. xD
At least the fact that I can talk rationally about it has to mean that I'm starting to accept it as truth. For a while there I was pretending to myself that it wasn't true. Of course, it DOES explain why I'm whiter than either of my parents (my "dad" is half Cherokee, I should by all rights be pretty dark). Turns out my whiteness doesn't come from my mom's side of the family.... Or at least not all of it.So you're okay with it all?
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 2:15 pm
So, In our bi-weekly girl chat in between classes, I was told that one of my friends were sexually assaulted during a trip to Mexico a year ago. And that my other friend was actually raped three years ago. They are still very iffy about discussing anything, but we completely trust each other and we understand that no one is going to say anything to anyone about it. But, I know you don't know them, and never will (They aren't on Gaia... Not that type) and I just had to talk to someone.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me, and I really don't know how to deal with it. It makes sense knowing now. I mean, the assaulted one refuses to go anywhere alone at night and she doesn't like to be touched. She explained today that this was because of her trip to Mexico. The other said that the sound of the guys name still sends shivers up her spine and completely puts her on edge. Thankfully, the second one has found someone that understands completely and doesn't try to force himself on her. But still...
Any ideas on what I should do or say? i kinda felt like... idk really... when they told me. i didn't say anything, but I did listen and nod when they said something. I know I will never (hopefully!!!) know what that kind of a situation is like. But, I still want to be there for them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 8:04 pm
Today I just felt depressed. I went to work then came hope and moped around.
One hour ago my first boyfriend, the only guy who ever broke my heart, found my facebook page and contacted me after leaving me 5 years ago by not answering his phone, mail, and deleting all his accounts online because even though we talked for hours on the phone and on webcam he did not want to take a plane to where I lived and did not want me to come visit.
He told me that he has had several girlfriends after me but had broken up with all of them because he always held them next to me. I told him that I’m a lesbian now.
Right now as i'm typing this i'm consoling him. All I can think now is.... AHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN!
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 8:45 pm
Carmella Sweet Today I just felt depressed. I went to work then came hope and moped around.
One hour ago my first boyfriend, the only guy who ever broke my heart, found my facebook page and contacted me after leaving me 5 years ago by not answering his phone, mail, and deleting all his accounts online because even though we talked for hours on the phone and on webcam he did not want to take a plane to where I lived and did not want me to come visit.
He told me that he has had several girlfriends after me but had broken up with all of them because he always held them next to me. I told him that I’m a lesbian now.
Right now as i'm typing this i'm consoling him. All I can think now is.... AHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! That's... pretty awesome. xD <33
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Posted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 9:32 pm
LifeSuxEatCake Carmella Sweet Today I just felt depressed. I went to work then came hope and moped around.
One hour ago my first boyfriend, the only guy who ever broke my heart, found my facebook page and contacted me after leaving me 5 years ago by not answering his phone, mail, and deleting all his accounts online because even though we talked for hours on the phone and on webcam he did not want to take a plane to where I lived and did not want me to come visit.
He told me that he has had several girlfriends after me but had broken up with all of them because he always held them next to me. I told him that I’m a lesbian now.
Right now as i'm typing this i'm consoling him. All I can think now is.... AHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! That's... pretty awesome. xD <33
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:06 am
Oh wow, I just coughed so hard that a giant phlegm wad hit the wall. I'm so glad no one else is here right now; that would have been so embarrassing if anyone else saw it. rofl
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:43 am
I think what my friend said to me earlier at school made me feel so happy x) She said I was the sweetest most caring friend she's ever met and that she's told people she knows about me xD I feel so happy everything I've done to help her has worked out well too ^^,
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:02 am
I think my best friend has left me behind. She used to talk to me all the time when she was unhappy, but nowadays she's almost never unhappy, and she really doesn't have any use for me anymore. I used to think that her being happy was the one thing I wanted above all else, but now I wonder...I feel horrible for even thinking it, but maybe I was happier when she was unhappy...because at least then she talked to me out of more than obligation...she was the one person who would actually contact me first, instead of only ever responding when I contacted her, and now that's gone because she has nothing to say to me. All I can do is deny her self-deprecatory feelings and offer virtual cuddles, but now she doesn't need any of that anymore, and I'm no good for anything else.
I used to be upset that she was unhappy all the time. Now I'm upset that she's happy all the time. Why can't I win? Why can't I be unselfish for once and just be glad that she's happy? I thought I finally cared more for another person than for myself, but I was proven wrong. Now she's left me behind and only talks to me when I contact her first, and then only every so often. And I know that when I ask her for the things she used to give me, it only brings her down. She's happy, and I can only drag her down with my toxic unhappiness.
I love her...
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:40 pm
Kestin Sha I think my best friend has left me behind. She used to talk to me all the time when she was unhappy, but nowadays she's almost never unhappy, and she really doesn't have any use for me anymore. I used to think that her being happy was the one thing I wanted above all else, but now I wonder...I feel horrible for even thinking it, but maybe I was happier when she was unhappy...because at least then she talked to me out of more than obligation...she was the one person who would actually contact me first, instead of only ever responding when I contacted her, and now that's gone because she has nothing to say to me. All I can do is deny her self-deprecatory feelings and offer virtual cuddles, but now she doesn't need any of that anymore, and I'm no good for anything else.
I used to be upset that she was unhappy all the time. Now I'm upset that she's happy all the time. Why can't I win? Why can't I be unselfish for once and just be glad that she's happy? I thought I finally cared more for another person than for myself, but I was proven wrong. Now she's left me behind and only talks to me when I contact her first, and then only every so often. And I know that when I ask her for the things she used to give me, it only brings her down. She's happy, and I can only drag her down with my toxic unhappiness.
I love her... I'm much the same way. When I find I'm no longer needed for something that I'm capable of doing, it gets me down. But..... Then I just search for something else to do. My current project is to make the world a better place, which is something that can always be improved upon. So's I should always have a fallback, just in case I finish everything else before I die. ...... Remind me to never become immortal. Because if I'm alive enough to make the world a perfect place, I'm going to bring it into a dust like state.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:38 pm
Divine_Malevolence Kestin Sha I think my best friend has left me behind. She used to talk to me all the time when she was unhappy, but nowadays she's almost never unhappy, and she really doesn't have any use for me anymore. I used to think that her being happy was the one thing I wanted above all else, but now I wonder...I feel horrible for even thinking it, but maybe I was happier when she was unhappy...because at least then she talked to me out of more than obligation...she was the one person who would actually contact me first, instead of only ever responding when I contacted her, and now that's gone because she has nothing to say to me. All I can do is deny her self-deprecatory feelings and offer virtual cuddles, but now she doesn't need any of that anymore, and I'm no good for anything else.
I used to be upset that she was unhappy all the time. Now I'm upset that she's happy all the time. Why can't I win? Why can't I be unselfish for once and just be glad that she's happy? I thought I finally cared more for another person than for myself, but I was proven wrong. Now she's left me behind and only talks to me when I contact her first, and then only every so often. And I know that when I ask her for the things she used to give me, it only brings her down. She's happy, and I can only drag her down with my toxic unhappiness.
I love her... I'm much the same way. When I find I'm no longer needed for something that I'm capable of doing, it gets me down. But..... Then I just search for something else to do. My current project is to make the world a better place, which is something that can always be improved upon. So's I should always have a fallback, just in case I finish everything else before I die. ...... Remind me to never become immortal. Because if I'm alive enough to make the world a perfect place, I'm going to bring it into a dust like state. It's not so much the lack of being needed as the lack of being needed by this person in particular. I don't want to lose her, but now that she doesn't have any reason to keep me around, that's what seems to be happening.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:02 pm
it really hits me when i'm deleting text messages from my phone.
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Posted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:30 pm
so retarded it really hits me when i'm deleting text messages from my phone. :C <3 hope you feel better.
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