If anyone gets offended by this, let me know and I'll delete it. I just thought it was funny.
xd 10 Things You Need to Know about Men
According to Richie Sambora Bon Jovi's star guitarist tells all -- about sex, romance and why letting him know his tie doesn't match is a good thing. -Men know what women want. But if we gave it to you all the time, then you'd want something else and we'd be screwed. We know you want us to be sensitive and romantic and sweet. We can do that. But we want to keep you guessing. If you had sex and diamonds every day, pretty soon you'd be sick of sex and diamonds -- and then where would we be?
-We actually like to be romantic. Believe it or not, we like to cuddle and kiss as much as you do. We just need the occasional nudge. Preferably, the nudge won't come while we're watching football or The Sopranos. And, when you want us to be romantic, remember: There's no such thing as a bad G-string.
-We know you call and hang up. But it's cool. Being checked up on is kind of flattering.
-If you say, "call me," we won't -- at least not for a few days. It doesn't mean we don't like you; it's just our way of playing hard to get. We like to take our time -- you know, whet the whistle. Of course, I've always enjoyed it when women have called me. I like the aggressive type, and so do most of my friends.
-We do masturbate -- almost as much as you do.
-We want to make you feel good, both physically and emotionally, but you have to tell us what to do. Men aren't the most perceptive creatures in the world, but if you tell us exactly where to touch you, believe me, we'll remember. It's to our advantage!
-We wouldn't care what we look like if you didn't care what we look like. Men are messy, and we'd be a lot messier if it weren't for women. If it were up to us, we wouldn't shower or brush our hair.
-We want you to be our mothers. Men stay little boys all through our lives. We want to be hugged and cooked for, and we honestly don't mind when you remind us about stuff like dentist appointments -- it makes us feel taken care of. But there's a fine line between nurturing and nagging. No guy wants his woman following him around the house yelling, "Pick up your socks!"
-We don't mind it when you dress us. When it comes to clothes, most men are clueless. We'd actually rather you tell us what to wear. Of course, if it's Sunday and we're sprawled out on the couch in sweats, we don't want to hear what you think of it. But if we're going out, we love the idea that you want to show us off. I always check with my wife [actress Heather Locklear] before I leave the house.
-We're terrified you'll break our hearts. All men are afraid of getting too close, too fast. So, if we seem standoffish, it's not because we don't like you. It's because we don't want to get hurt. We're afraid of getting our hearts broken -- just like you.
