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Fashionable Conversationalist
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 Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 3:51 am
Oh. I hope it goes well.
On my birthday which was October 26. I went to a party, at like 11:30pm at night so all of whats following was after like 1am. Heh. Anyway. A few days earlier I had met this boy named Steve, and he smiled at me like he thought I was cute and he would wave when I would see him around campus; which wasnt too much just when I saw my friends because he doesn't go to school here; and so Friday night I had my friend Evan tell him that I liked him as my birthday present. And so when Katie and Evan stayed upstairs I went with Steve and the rest of my friends to smoke. And then we went for a walk...and Steve held my hand, I mean everyone went for a walk and by go for a walk I mean go someplace to smoke something other than cigarettes. Lol. And he kissed me while we were there. And then he slept in my room that night. Except we didn't really sleep. And part of me was afraid that if I went to sleep that when I woke up he'd be gone. And he ended up leaving at noon. And on Sunday they kicked him off campus, and he came and said goodbye. And we kissed and hugged and all that good stuff. And I haven't talked to him since like Halloween. And I can't stop thinking about him. And I don't know, in fact I doubt, he's ever coming back. And I've gotten like 5 hours of sleep because I keep dreaming about him. And now I'm crying. And I don't know what it means. And I don't know if he even ever thinks about me, or if he really likes me a lot or anything. I feel so pathetic. Why do I have to like a pot smoking cocaine addict who does a bazillion different types of drugs who I'm never going to see again anyway? Why?
Boys they're crazy. I hate it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:03 am
aw that sucks *hugs*
i don't know why we like the people we like. there's a reason in there somewhere, it's just hard to figure out sometimes. but we'd all like to think that everyone is capable of being that good person we want them to be. and sometimes they can change but a lot of the time that just doesn't happen. i hope u feel happy again soon. i know i'm wishing the same for myself.
so i went on that non-date that night. and it was a date and i dunno wtf david wants. saying he doesn't want to date and we'd just be hanging out but it was a ******** date. we saw the mist which was the worst movie ever so i'm glad he paid lol. and we talked and it was cool. it was like just talking to a friend about nothing really, like we were just hanging out. and he drove me home and we hugged before i got out of the car. so i was like ok, w/e, we get along but i had no urge to kiss him or anything last night. and well, when i got home, i went on the comp and later on he went on msn and msged me. and we talked about the crappy movie again then he asked me if i wanted to kiss him in the car and that he thought it looked like i did. and i felt like such a b***h lol cus i told him no i didn't and i wasn't intentionally giving him any indication that i did. then he was like "what would u have done if i did kiss u?" and i didn't want to be a b***h again but i also didn't want to lie. so i told him i probably would have kissed him back, like i wouldnt have backed away or anything. which is true but i didn't tell him that it probably would have been just the smallest, meaningless kiss. and i felt like such a b***h so i thought maybe i need to give him another chance but i think he's had enough chances. so last night he asked if i'd want there to be a next time then he said he had a good time. and all i said was i had a good time too and i dont think, and i hope, that i didn't give him a definite yes that there will be a next time.
ugh, i just don't think he's right for me. and im gonna sound like a b***h again but i think it's more like i don't think he's good enough. compared to the last big crush i had which was a couple of years ago, in high school, there's a lot of things david doesn't have that my old crush did. and i was wondering if maybe i was just afraid cus i've never had a bf before. but i was not afraid when it came to ryan, my old crush. well, the only thing i was afraid of was actually verbalizing that i like him lol but...i think i've decided that i don't want to get into anything with david. aaaaaaand now the hard part is letting him know that =S
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 7:38 pm
I wow. Yeah. I stayed in my friend Jesse's room one night and he tried to have sex with me, and he was like I want you. You want me. And I was like no, I don't, I really don't. Like, he's attractive and funny and a good friend and everything; but I am inexplicably unattracted to him. I don't know why. It was weird. But he asked my friend katie if I knew it was a one time thing afterwards, so I'm glad I said no. The loser. Heh. I totally understand the whole thinking theres an attraction and then there not being one thing. It makes you feel really bad, but you can't really help it if you aren't into him.
When I go home for christmas break I'm going to see one of my old friends whom I've been discussing hooking up with, and even though we like each other it would be a without attachment thing, because we are a couple hours apart for most of the year. And I've never kissed him on the lips before, like he's kissed me on the cheek and the forehead, but I'm worried that I'll see him and he'll kiss me and I won't like it. Especially after I've been waiting a good two years for him to stop calling me jail bait and being afraid of my mother.
I think its super sweet when my exboyfriends admit that they were assholes, and that they ******** up our relationship, and that they're going to stop being assholes. It doesn't really do anything for me if they realize all of that after we've broken up, so I don't know why they feel it necessary to tell me and try to be my friend. Clearly they don't know how to handle life. It's sad.
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 11:12 am
yea so i told him finally that i don't like him. it was over msn cus all our convos are over msn for some reason which..wouldn't that be some sign that our relationship is not right? lol anyways, so when i was typing it out i was typing as if the monitor was going to blow up in my face at any second lol. oh man, it just would have been easier if he told me he didn't like me after i told him i liked him that first time. he seems like the kind of person to get attached and needy xP but i think it says a lot about me, saying no to the guy who could have been my first bf. yay, i'm not desperate =D lol
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 1:01 pm
Lol. Congrats. I am trying to come to terms with being able to like a boy who is shorter than me, like a lot shorter, not just like an inch or two, hes like a foot shorter than me. And I don't want to dislike him just because he's short, so I'm trying to get to know him and see if i can let it go. A lot of my feeling weird about him was that he came on very strong the first time I met him, but it was mostly coming from him being very drunk, and he apologized last night. He has a sweet little dog that I love. But I can't like him just because of his dog. And I don't think I want to date him at all really, because he's 22 and I dunno, it's just weird. Last night I went to his frat because my friend is friends with one of the guys there. And when we were getting ready to leave he asked what I was doing tonight, and then told me I should come back because they'd probably be drinking again. But my friend doesnt want to go and I cant go without her. And there isnt anyone else who can go with me. So I cant go, and I have to stay in my dorm and study. Which sucks.
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:42 pm
lol yeah...we'd all like to hope we're not shallow. haha you might like him just cus of his dog xD that's pretty funny.
i might like my friend's boyfriend's best friend. i mean, i can see me liking him. we met last year at her bday party and we didn't talk much cus there were a lot of people and i had my own friends to be with lol but i thought he was pretty cool. total opposite of david, that guy i rejected recently. anyways, he was at my friend's bday party again a couple days ago. i was actually hoping he would show up =P so ya, dwain (thats his name) and his cousin were the last ones to leave and everyone was asleep excapt us 3, my friend and her brother so we were all just chilling, talking, and they're both pretty awesome. smart, like majoring in some fort of medical physics smart, funny, just all around good people, don't get ******** up at parties =P. dwain actually doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs at all. he's a health freak with a nice body. so ya..i could like him lol
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:53 am
Aww. I like boys. Me and one of the boys in my classes have begun making out everyday. Lol. I think that when we come back from christmas break we might date. But being apart for 5 weeks and then coming back will be weird.
I hope things with you and Dwain work out. The boy I like came over after we finished our final this morning to take a nap because we went to sleep at 1am this morning, and then got woken up by a fire drill at 3am and then he ended up going back to his own room, so I had to sleep alone for the rest of the night, but I had to get up at 7am because I had my final at 8am. So he came over for a nap. And he ended up labeling random body parts, like my shin, foot, thigh, toe, belly, back, my 3rd kidney, the back of my hand, neck, shoulder, forearm, and he tried to write on my lip but it didn't work. *shakes head* It was silly. I don't know what my roommate was thinking while it was happening, but I don't really care either. Lol.
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Posted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 11:50 am
that sounds kinda cute lol aw must be fun living on campus. ah well, i like living at home. free food and stuff =P
hm ya i don't anything will be happening with dwain any time soon. i never see him or talk to him so im not crushing. but i would go out w/ him if he asked. and if i wasn't thinking i might be developing a crush on an old friend i've been seeing around lately xP so ya, now there's mike. and he's just an awesome person. he's like a cool nerd lol cus hes into the sci-fi stuff but he's smart and witty and musically talented. and i have a thing for musicians lol and he's tall. kinda gangly..lol but w/e no one's perfect. but the weird thing is..he's younger than me. i know age doesn't really make a difference and he's only a year younger but i dunno...i hate to say it but i'd be self conscious about it xP
anyways, *shrug* i dont even know if hes into me or if he's just being friendly. we bump into each other every few months cus he works at the grocery store 2min away from my house and i rarely go grocery shopping lol. and then i saw him a couple days ago when i went to visit my high school band and he just happened to be visiting too. then i saw him the next night at the band's xmas concert and i invited him to a xmas party and a new years thing and he was all genuinely up for it. then he randomly started talking to me on msn which he never does. maybe because im never really online. but i totally deleted him off my list on gr10 lol cus i just thought he was another niner haha. and strangely he remembers the exact spots we were sitting in the internet cafe on our school trip to spain where we exchanged emails =P
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 1:30 pm
Charles has broad shoulders, and tiny legs. Its cute. Lol. I'm a little self-conscious about us because I dunno. Its just weird that we ended up together. You should be self-conscious about him being younger than you. I've had boyfriends who were a year and two years younger than me, it's really not that big of a deal. But I know that it can bother some people and it's understandable.
Charles came to said goodbye yesterday and he was like I'm going to miss you. And I was like I'm going to miss you too. I gave him a picture of us that my friend took at the thanksgiving party we went to, and one of me smiling with teeth. He loves my smile, when I smile with teeth, it's weird. I don't really like my smile. And on the back I wrote i miss you already. I talked to him on aim this morning when I woke up and he was like I saw the pictures, thanks for the smile. Because I told him not to open them until later. And I talked to him when I got home from college, because my mom picked me up today. Right now hes away because his cousins are over. Yesterday was so sad. I was like I'll be okay if the geology final never ends. Because he left afterwards.
You should probably go grocery shopping more. It'll be funny if any of the guys ever come back to this chat and they're like girl problems? what? too much estrogen. Lol.
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:09 pm
aww u and charles sound really cute ^^ i want someone like that. someone who will tell me he likes my smile...not my a** -_- mike prob would cus he's really sweet. he'd always have these lovey dovey msn names for his last gf =P i think i'll pick up some batteries at NoFrills some time this week lol
lol i was thinking that too about the guys in this guild. i bet some of them have come back, read a post, did one of these O_O , and turned right around haha
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:37 am
Well. He tells me he likes my butt too. And he slaps it all the time. Lol. As long as he doesn't do it in public I don't mind, but if ever he does he will see a very angry side of me. Because slapping a girls a** in public is just plain disrespectful. Yesterday he was finishing off a whole bunch of bottles of rum, and so he fell asleep at some point and one of his friends got on and was like my friend ingrid is coming over in a little while (and I know ingrid is Charles exgirlfriend) and shes probably going to sleep with him. Are you two together? because if you are I'll stop it. I was just like i dont know, kinda, you should probably stop it. Charles apologized this morning. But I was sad last night.
I'm not sure, some of them are kind of feminine. Or it seems like they'd leave some kind of crazy comment about the guild being over taken by estrogen. Lol.
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:29 pm
lol well, ok i won't mind if a guy says i have a nice a**. but of course it should be in a non-creepy way and it shouldn't be the only thing he compliments me on =P
someone should leave a comment. i'd like to hear what a guy would have to say about our issues. and why are we the only ones here? xD
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:31 pm
A male perspective would be nice. We try so hard at keeping this place active, a little help would be nice. Our something or other anniversary is coming up as well on New Years, people should come back for that if nothing else.
He told me that I'm cute when I'm angry today, even on aim when he can't see me he likes to make me mad. He said that I have crazy pretty eyes when I do an evil glare. *sigh* Boys are so silly. I don't know why they have to think we're so cute when we're angry.
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 8:51 am
yess, i wonder if they'll have a mistletoe event this year =P maybe it would bring everyone back
lol i've never been told i'm cute when i'm angry. i might have been told that i'm enjoyable to make angry though =P
lol omg i had this dream last night where my friend to me that the guy i think i might like, mike, loves me. there was some rally for the writers guild strike going on and i was supporting some little writers group thing and my friends were telling me they don't support that group. then my one friend came up to me and was like "we're still friends though. and mike says he still loves you." and i was like =D.
lol. i have strange dreams
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Fashionable Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 9:25 am
I love mistletoe. smile Charles sent me some on facebook...It was cute. He says I'm cute when I'm angry all the time, and he wonders how I don't see it. Pff.
I have strange dreams too, but I don't always remember them. I'm glad your dream was still happy even though you were kinda fighting with your friends.
I'm so excited for the Christmas event to start. I hope it has good items.
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