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 Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:05 am
Icea glared up at Josh.
"What is there to think over?! He's gone forever! He had to go back to Japan... I have nothing to think about now. It's been over for a year now." Her voice didn't show pain, but the words made her chest ache.
"Just don't worry about it... I just forgot I had his picutures- Just forget it. You probably should go now." Her voice was like velvet, never showing her true emotion, incoherent feelings.
-
Icea waited for Josh to leave.
"I can't freaking believe this... Why do I get so... confused after seeing that-" A panic of remembrance shot through her.
Grabbing all her bags, she tore them open, clawing and shoving things around. Her heart was racing fast, threatening to explode. "Damn it... where is it?!" Her body was suddenly still as she pulled her cell phone out from all the mess she had made.
Icea fingers pushed the buttons franticly.
'Address Book'
Her hands were shaking as she scrolled down threw the names. Her fingers stopped death set.
'Uchiyama'
Icea's chest heaved hard, trying to get oxygen into her lungs, it burned.
Her finger managed to hit one last button.
She slowly raised the phone to her ear. There was silence. She gasped, ringing filled her ear. She closed her eyes and sighed. It kept ringing. It rang and rang.
"...moshi moshi?" (Hello) a sleepy, serene voice cut the silence.
Icea could have screamed, if her voice wasn't lost. Her hand went straight to her mouth, to stop her from crying out loud.
There was shuffling noise, like some one moving around in bed.
"Donata desu ka?" the voice sounded as if it could careless.
Icea slightly smiled. "Uchi? It's me..."
The phone went silent.
"Who is this? I must know you... If I don't then don't be so friendly with my name like that." The Japanese accent was thick. Icea sighed, not knowing what to say.
"Onamae wa nan desu ka?" (What is your name) the voice continued in Japanese.
"Watashi no namae wa..." (My name is) Her voice was quiet and weak.
A few seconds pasted "Hai?" (Yes?)
She couldn't find her voice to say it, her head felt like it could explode, she couldn't think right.
"Look if this is a joke then-"
"Icea" she blurted out her name, feelings tears welling up in her eyes.
"Is it... Is it really you?" The voice, was softer now, surprised.
"Hai."
"Sabishii..." (I miss you) the beautiful voice answered back.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:26 am
"Im gonna crash at Michaels. I need to see him.."
Josh didnt care about hearing her answer, he didnt think she would care.
He closed the door and brought his bag out to the cold hallway.
His thoughts were racing, confusing him deeply but he pushd all the things away.
His classmate Erin tapped him on the shoulder with a warm smile.
"Hey, gymclass is off today.. but there is this party.
And i would like you to be there."
She said as she put some of her hair behind her ear.
"Err, ill see what i can do.. I could call you tonight but now i have to go."
He hugged her goodbye, and walked to Michaels dorm, and knocked.
No responce.
"Michael you a**, i know your in there. its Josh."
michael opend the door, only in his boxers.
Josh bursted out laughing. "Fun to see your comfortable around me.
Can i crash here tonight? I got kicked out."
Michael nodded and shut the door behind them.
Michael laughed, "Will your crazy a** girlfriend kill me, though?"
Josh gave him a cold look. "She isnt crazy, and she isnt an a**. And.. I dont think she will come."
Michael nodded once again, and thew him a beer.
"Cheers." He said, and they both had a drink.
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 6:03 pm
Icea had been talking on the phone with Uchiyama for an hour or so now. Her whole body felt warm, a slight tingling sensation flowing through her body.
"Why haven't you called me?" Uchiyama had asked her earlier.
"Well..." she sighed, it was odd that she couldn't try and hide her emotion from him, she didn't want to. "I guess... I was just scared to."
"You do remember... what I said to you that day... don't you?" His voice was strong, but elegant.
"Yes."
Icea could remember that very day clearly still. Standing, amongst the tall trees, few oblivious people walking by, the light breeze blowing, the Autumn leaves dancing at her feet, some struggling to fly up and reach her.
A tall young man walked up behind her, his steps swift yet silent. His orange hair brushed against Icea's ear as he leaned over her shoulder, catching her off guard.
Icea's face turned bright red, she was embarrassed that she had let him sneak up on her. Her eyes were outlined in red, from lack of sleep.
"Why did you have to scare me like-" With fluid motion Uchiyama's hands slide from his pockets and instinctively tightened around Icea, pulling her back against him.
"Gomen nasai..." (I'm sorry) he whispered, his voice pleading.
"...Naze?" (Why?) She was sure he meant for scaring her, but she wasn't sure that was his full meaning.
His sigh sent warm breath against her neck, leaning into her more. "for everything... For having to leave you. Gomen nasai. Yurushite kudasai (forgive me)."
Icea promised herself she wouldn't cry, but she couldn't help it, she couldn't fight it anymore. She had cried too much already, counting down the days, the minutes, seconds, till he would have to leave her, torturing herself. "Don't... say that... Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault. What can you do? Nothing. Don't worry about it..."
"Ahh... Yoake (Icea's middle name in Japanese, Dawn, used by Uchi as a nickname) is all grown up now... and is trying to be tough."
Uchiyama was then standing in front of her, leaning down, with his face inches from hers. "Kawaii... (cute) as always."
Icea had no idea what 'kawaii' meant. Uchi had always refused to tell her and the Japanese she knew wasn't much, she had learned from him. He smiled at her, his eyes laughing. Icea couldn't help but stare at him as helpless tears rolled down her cheeks. He was about to be taken from her and yet he could still smile at her, he was strong, one reason she admired him so much.
"Tomorrow morning...I have to leave. I thought it would be best if we meet before that, to give us a bit of time. I have to leave soon though..."
"Hai..." Icea bowed her head.
Uchi tilted his head to the side, reaching out to lift her head back up.
"Nanda?" (what is it?) He asked, looking deeply into her face, his eyes soft and confined.
"Hansamu... (handsome) as always." She answered back, with a slight smile, silent tears endlessly falling.
Uchi's hands gently brushed against her cheeks.
Icea bit her lip as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.
"I should probably be going now." The words stung her inside, he already felt miles away. "You won't be able to contact me for a few weeks, but I promise that you can call me when you want to." Icea looked down at his extended arm, a piece of paper in his hand, elegant numbers scribbled down. "This is going to be my new cellphone number. And you were suppose to get one too, right?"
Icea slightly nodded, taking the paper from him.
"So... I'll just have to wait on you then." he said, clearly sure that she would call as soon as possible. "I'll do my best." he said, stepping back away from her. "Sayoonara..." (goodbye)
Icea couldn't speak as she watched him spin around and start walking away.
"Ki o tsukete kudasai..." (take care please) his voice echoed in her head.
"Uchi..." she whispered. She didn't want him to leave yet, she needed him, her chest was aching, a hole starting to form. "Uchi!" she screamed. His feet kept moving, he was drifting away. "Uchi! Matte kudasai, Uchi!" (Please wait)
Icea started to run toward him, her lungs burning, her eyes aching, full of tears. "Uchi..." she coughed.
Uchiyama suddenly stopped and turned around, his face was pained, he couldn't stand it.
Icea leaned down, grabbing her knees for support. She couldn't breath. Relief filled her as his warm body and his sweet scent enveloped her.
"Call me as soon as you're able to... Yakusoku shimasu." (Promise)
Her voice was weak, but not as weak as her body felt, like liquid in his arms. "Hai... I promise I will." she was trembling. They both silently stared at each other for a what felt like minutes.
"Yoake... watashi o ai shiteimasu ka?" (Do you love me?) His voice was completely even, confident, knowing.
"Hai... kokoro kara anata o aishite imasu, Uchi." (Yes... I love you very much)
The wind blew up around them. Icea eyes were totally focused on Uchi's. His face was getting closer, she could feel his warm breathe against her skin. In an instant their lips met, her mind stopped worrying, her body stopped trembling. Her arms wrapped around Uchi, clinging onto him, trying to preserve the moment as long as possible.
"Denwa shite kudasai!" (Call me) Were the last words she remember his voice say before he walked out of her life that day.
"I remember very well what happened that day. How could I forget?" she felt depressed just thinking about it.
"Baka..." (Idiot) he muttered. "Why didn't you ever call?" his voice was still calm, even.
"I did! I tried calling for at least a month straight... everyday I would call. But... your phone was never working. I figured maybe you got a new number or you copied it down wrong... or maybe even... that you didn't want me to call after all."
He grumbled. "It just took longer for me to get it than I thought it would... that's all. That's ridiculous, not want you to call me? Why would I... not want the person I love to contact me?"
"Yoake... watashi o ai shiteimasu ka?" she sighed, thinking about what they had both said.
"Gomen nasai..." (I'm sorry)
Icae stayed up all night talking to Uchi on the phone. After a while she was so tired that what they talked about didn't really have a point, no destination, just... words every now and then, listening to each other breathe. Early that morning Icea finally passed out, the phone slightly slipping from her hand, still pressed against her cheek, laying on the couch.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 2:24 pm
After about four beers each, and too loud music, Josh was totally lost in the moment.
He forgot all about the day that had been.
"TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!" Josh shouted, suddenly, as he laughed loudly.
Michael turned down the volume, and sat on the bed next to him.
"J-man, why are you being so booorriinnngg toniight..~?" Michael whined, and pinched Josh's arm teasingly.
"I just don't get her you know. I mean what the ********. I just, I love her dude. But she ******** my brains up SOO bad." Josh laughed again, not for being amused, but because the room was starting to spin.
"FORGET THE GIRL AND LETS GO TO THE BEACH!" Michael shouted loudly, before taking his stereo in his one hand, pulling Josh up from the bed.
"You get the towels." He said, giving him a drunked smirk.
Josh went to get two towels, and a bottle of wine in his hands.
"Let's go!" They shouted before running through the hallways, all the way down the street to the beach.
Josh put all the things well organized, on the blanket.
Michael then walked up to him, "Let me check those scars." He said calmly.
Josh's eyes looked away, not wanting him to see the still fresh scar across his chest. But it was too late, Michael had already ripped off his shirt,
as usual - not being careful, as he traced the new scar with his fingers,
sending an uncomfortable chill down Josh's spine.
Michael noticed, and threw off his shirt and pants, before running toward the water. "COMING OR NOT?" He yelled, before splashing his body in the cold water, making his whole face twitch, as he let out a loud squeak.
Josh ran to him, and tackled him, so that they both landed in the water.
- - -
Josh and Michael sat on the blanket, the sun was rising,
and they had been bathing all night.
"Ey J-man.." Michael started, a small blush growing across his cheeks.
"I'm sorry about the way I used to treat you.." He said, looking away.
Josh looked him in the eyes, with an understanding, wasted look.
Michael suddenly rushed up with his hand, caressing Josh's neck,
making eyecontact, before he kissed him.
- - -
Josh pulled away, he didn't know how much time had passed.
"This is wrong." Josh mumbled, looking at Michael - still.
"I love Her" he said. Almost as if he wanted her to be there, hearing him.
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Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:40 pm
Icea woke up that morning, her body was stiff.
Her phone fell down on the couch as she stretched her arms up over her head.
Memories from that night flashed quickly back into her mind and her hand grabbed the phone automatically.
She pressed her phone against her ear, it was sore. "Hello? ...Uchi?" She waited for a reply, then she thought to look at the phone.
He must have hung up when she fell asleep.
She sighed, rubbing her eyes. It must have been at least past noon now.
Forcing her stiff body to get up, she sluggishly wandered over to Josh's bed.
Her head hit his pillow, sending a pleasant aroma in her lungs, as she fell onto the bed.
Josh... she thought, remembered who the sent belonged to.
"s**t..." she said, trying to remember what he had last said to her.
"I have gymclass later, if you want to find me, I'll be at the room next to
Mr. Jone's mathclass.."
"No... it wasn't that. s**t... Damn." Her finger rubbed at her eyes, trying to bring the vision and words back to her mind. She laid there for a few minutes.
"Im gonna crash at Michaels. I need to see him.."
Icea body felt numb. How could she have just let him leave and go to Michael? Hatred was a very weak word to use for her feelings toward Michael.
"God... That's not good." she said, jumping up out of bed and heading for the door. "Not good at all."
Standing at the door or Michael's room, anger was mildly being covered by her exhaustion from staying up all night.
Her fists pounded hard against the door, a loud angry rhythm.
"Josh! Are you in there?" she waited, staring at the floor, waiting. She imagined seeing Michael opening the door, Josh standing beside him, their hands on each other in a symbol of renewal.
Icea bit her lip hard. She shook the images from her head, so violently that it made her head dizzy.
He wouldn't...
She sighed, finally figuring that they just weren't there. But... since no one answered the door, that meant that both Josh and Michael were not located, also meaning that they were probably both not at Michael's together.
Sitting down on the floor next to the door, she thought about what she was feeling. It wasn't exactly jealousy like it had been before, but... regret for not paying attention to him and worry that something bad might happen to him.
"I'll kill him..." she said, calmly, her voice a whisper, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:32 am
Josh had been talking to Michael all morning, and they had a fun time.
Michael smiled, and threw their things in a nearby bush.
"Who cares, they change everything in my dorm. Including towels." He said, with a light smirk, as he noticed Josh's confused look.
Their hair was still soaked, and Michael were the only one with clothes.
So Josh stood there in his boxers, fully exposing his bare chest.
He had a light blush on his face, since he couldn't help but to notice Michael's lusty stares at him.
They started walking back to College, next to each other.
When all of a sudden, Michael took Josh's hand.
They blushed, but cept going, hiding their held hands between them.
Icea.
The thought just touched his mind, and he dropped Michael's caring hand immedeatly.
"Oh god, Michael. I can't do this at all. My hand doesn't belong there."
"Where?" Michael asked, now looking at his face.
"Nowhere.. Not on you, and.. I'm starting to wonder if they belong on.. Icea."
Silence.
They walked up to college, and Josh ignored the stares at them both,
and at his chest.
Michael kissed his cheek, as a goodbye, as he dissapeared into the cafeteria.
"Bye.." Josh said, smiling a bit.
Michael had said to him that his dorm was open for him, any time.
So he was planning to go there.
Josh shook his dripping hair, looking infront of himself.
He was just about to turn in the hallway, toward Michael's room
when he saw Icea sitting there.
"Hi." He said, looking away, as he cept walking toward the door.
He wonderd what Icea would be thinking,
seeing him in wet hair and no clothing - returning from the beach
with the person she hated the most - Michael.
Josh was cold in his face, but in his heart he felt a pain like never before.
He didn't allow himself to show it, not this time.
He opened up the door, stepping in - leaving it open.
Ignoring the fact that Icea was outside.
He didn't feel needed, he packed his stuff.
He was now in Michaels dorm, gathering his clothing into a large bag.
As Icea stood outside the door.
"I might leave for a while."He said, not turning.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:44 pm
Icea stood up slowly, yawning, her body partly asleep.
Numbness suddenly was replaced by sharp tingling as she stood and stretched.
Her hands clasped together, binded behind her head.
"So... what've you been up to?" she asked, looking him up and down.
She didn't wait for an answer before she started walking down the hall, back in the direction of his room.
"Are you comin' or stayin'?" she asked, her voice slightly loud and stern, clear authority being shown.
She kept walking at the same pace, not looking wait, obviously sure that he would follow.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:21 am
"Icea I'm leaving college."
He said, loud enough for her to hear it, as she cept walking.
He stood still, looking at where she had been sitting by the wall.
He waited for her to come back,
even though he thought she wouldn't.
Josh was numb, he didn't even feel like crying.
He just said it casually,
before rubbing his face with his palms.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:52 am
Icea's steps weren't affected by his announcement.
"Oh really? Hmm..." she didn't quite believe him.
"Ahhh... Alright, well if that's what you want to do." She yawned, still walking to his room.
"Well... I'm going to go sleep for a bit." her voice started to fade out, she had turned a corner of the hall.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 9:10 am
"Bye." He mumbled to himself, as he turned around.
He pulled on a shirt, and packed all his stuff together.
He had about three bags so far, as he had already lit a cigarette that layed against his lips.
Josh's steps were firm and decided, but he felt his tears reaching up to him.
He had already by this point realiced that him and Icea weren't like 'before'.
And It hurt badly, because he knew what He felt, but he didn't understand Why.
As he was lost in his thoughts, he reached his own dorm.
He opend the door, leaving his bags outside.
As he was silent, he started going through the dormroom, gathering his things into one final bag.
As he was done, he threw the dormkey to Icea.
"I'm guessing you're taking over this place. "
"..Take care." He said, quietly as he bit his bottomlip hard - not wanting to cry.
He took the bags without caring for a responce from her.
She was gone and it was over. It had to be.
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:03 pm
Icea stared at Josh as he gathered his things outside the door.
She thought it was slightly amusing that he would want to leave so quickly, without even talking it over with her.
"So..." she said, tapping her foot against the floor, holding the key up. "This is it? This is such bullshit..." Her eyes were dark with confusion. "I talk to someone I haven't seen in forever... and you decide to up and leave- And without explaining yourself either! And seeing you with- And how you looked- I didn't even ask... I thought I would let you do that, because it was bad enough that I didn't come and get you in the first place. But then again... I didn't want to force you to stay."
She glared at the key, maybe hoping it would disappear, make everything disappear.
"I don't want this!" She yelled, throwing the key at the wall, close to where he was standing. "You can have the ******** key! I don't want it!" she paused for a second, looking up at him and then away.
"That's not what I want..."
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 9:54 am
Mike was rushing down the stairway, mumbling a few words to himself.
He held his books closely as he ran along the hallway.
As he got to his classroom, he stayed outside a few seconds to catch his breath.
He put his brown hair carefully behind his ear, and took a deep breath.
Mike then enterd the classroom. He tried to sneak, not being noticed by the professor, but the door slammed as he closed it - making the professor turn from the whiteboard with a grin across his old lips.
"Oh Mr.Jones, late as usuall aren't you? You better get in time, or i will have you expelled."
Mike ignored him, but cept quiet. He walked up to a chair in the back of the room, so he wouldn't be seen.
He took this time to look at all the people.
Mike wasn't very shy, but he liked to watch people study.
He leaned his head back against the chair, and started drawing something
cluttery and not very pretty on the table infront of him.
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:06 pm
She snarled, turning her back toward him.
"I seriously wouldn't want to be stuck in here..." she hissed, waving her arm to gesture to the room.
"I'm going to start school here in a week or so."
Her body slowly and stiffly turned around to face him, emotion wasn't evident in her features. A statue of no concern.
"I'd suggest... if you're leaving." she paused, get voice lowering, "Don't come back..."
As soon as she was done talking, her back was turned to him again, waiting for him to leave.
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:44 pm
"Fine."
Josh turned around, and left the room carrying his things.
He walked down to the busstation, numb with emotions.
He was actually happy in a way.
The bus arrived, he looked one final time at the school.
Then left.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike had fallen asleep during the lession, not having slept too much during the night before.
He woke up just in time to see that class was over, and everyone was leaving.
He gatherd his books together quickly, and stretched as he walked out,
along with everybody else.
He rubbed his eyes with one hand, covering his face slightly from the bright light in the hallway.
"Whoa. It's too early for me to be up.."
He mumbled, as he dragged his feet to nearest couch,
which happend to be right infront of Josh's old dormroom.
He layed down on the couch, quickly falling asleep -
His books falling to the floor.
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 4:36 pm
Icea flung the door open, the silence was unnerving.
It was deffinately too quiet in the building.
She needed noise so loud she couldn't hear, so she couldn't think.
Being so frustrated, she looked down at a messy pile of books and kicked them out of her way, slaming them into the wall.
She rolled her eyes at herself after thinking through what she had just done. "What the hell... I'm going crazy." She sighed deeply as she walked over to pick up the books and throw them back where they were before.
She turned on her iPod and started listening to it.
Pressing her back against the wall next to her door, she let her body slid down into a sitting position.
She didn't want to be talked to or looked at, but... she couldn't be alone.
It scared her to think about what she would do.. if she was alone all day.
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