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Litha stared after him, her heart sinking. He'd actually left. As much as it hurt her to admit it to herself, she wanted him around. She wanted to go back to how things were before. A tear escaped from her eye and she wiped it away quickly as she got up, telling the nurse she was leaving. When she got home, she stared at herself in the mirror - she looked exhausted. Her skin looked paler, almost yellow. She had huge dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks were sunken as if she hadn't eaten in days. Probably just fatigue from all this stress, she thought, curling up on her bed.

Litha abruptly woke up and walked outside, wanting to smoke before she went to sleep. She sat leaning against the dorm building, still in her sweats and torn t-shirt. Pulling her lighter out of her pocket, she cupped the flame and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. On the exhale, she could sense a presence - as if someone was watching her. She stared up at the trees, wondering if Meizu was there somewhere. Probably not, she thought sadly, taking another drag. She frowned, glancing back up again. "...Meizu?" she said quietly, almost whispering. It felt silly to be talking to herself, but she wanted to know for sure if he was there or not. It seemed obnoxious to have rejected him so vehemently just before, and to call out for him in the dark so soon after, but it couldn't be helped.

Litha jumped. She hadn't actually expected him to just jump out of a tree like that. She stared at him, surprised and unsure of what to say. She didn't really have much to say since she was so unsure of her feelings as well. She stood up and took another drag, keeping her eyes on him. "I didn't think you really were here," she said, stomping out her cigarette and jamming her hands deep into her pockets as she leaned against the brick wall. Eye contact suddenly felt awkward so she just stared at the ground, still in disbelief.

As soon as their lips met, Litha felt as if she were melting into him. She groaned a little in surprise but returned his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck as if on instinct. Her mind flashed to Kiyoshi and then Meizu's sister quickly but she pushed the thoughts away, lost in Meizu's presence. She pulled away after a few moments, overwhelmed. She didn't say anything, she just slid her arms down to his lower back and rested her forehead on his shoulder, not wanting him to see her exhausted face up close and also seeking the comfort of literally leaning on him. For the first time in a long while she felt at peace with herself, as if everything was perfect, if only for a short while.

Litha buried her face deeper into his neck, feeling tears spring into her eyes. This was just so much stress. She was the other woman now - he wasn't really hers. And here he was, wishing she was pregnant with his child. "I'm not ready to have kids," she said quietly. She'd taken her birth control earlier that day but she knew it wouldn't really kick in as a contraceptive for a while. Part of her wanted to be pregnant just to steal Meizu away, but she knew it would never work out for her. She was just a human girl who would give birth to his child and then be thrown away.

Litha looked away, knowing he would see how tired she looked if he looked too closely, and she felt insecure about it. Kiyoshi had said that if she were pregnant, she would start getting really exhausted and weak... It made her nervous. What made her more nervous, however, was what he was saying. He wanted to marry her? "Where's your sister now?" she asked tentatively, still staring at the ground. They were still together, and betrothed. What would happen to her if they got married? Meizu had to be kidding. It was like she was dreaming - she just couldn't keep her emotions about him sorted out. She was angry at him one second and kissing him frantically the next.

"I'm not tired," she said, sitting in bed. It felt odd to be cared for by someone who wasn't really hers, and for that matter, also was technically someone else's fiance. She sighed, staring at herself in the mirror on the wall. She could see her reflection from where she sat - her eyes were sunken and her cheekbones seemed hollow. There were deep dark circles under her eyes and her hair was matted and limp. She looked like a trainwreck. "I don't need anything," she told Meizu hollowly, staring at her reflection. "She'll kill me, won't she? If she finds out about this?" She didn't know for a moment if she was talking about him kissing her, the maybe-pregnancy, or her just being there. "Any of this?"