|
|
| What are your thoughts on critiquing? |
| YES!!! |
|
48% |
[ 47 ] |
| Eh... |
|
49% |
[ 48 ] |
| NO!!! |
|
2% |
[ 2 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 97 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:57 pm
((It's not dodgy. You just needed to give me a little while to write you in a PM D: I was taking medecine and getting my stuff ready for tommorow crying I'll PM you in the morning sometime before I have to leave.
Goodnight everyone. I took two full cap things of NyQuil and in a minute I will hardly be able to see, let alone type XD night night.))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:19 am
Iori walks for what it feels like is forever and finally makes it to the next city. As he enters the city he see that the buildings are all intact unlike his own, but it's quiet.
He walks down the main road in the city and as he walks he notices a young girl run across the street. He walks closer as the girl starts to run back, he notices that she is dressed in rags. As he gets closer to wear the girl ran across he can hear people talking. He looks around the corner n sees a group of people sitting by a fire cooking on what it looked like was a makeshift grill steak stolen from a abandoned local shop.
All the people seem to be wearing rags. As the people see him most of them cower in fear just from his appearance. He walks over to them as the younger children and women step backwards as the males in the group stay in place pretending to not be afraid. Iori having not eaten in a while eyes the meat, as it is his favorite food. He goes to grab it as one of the middle-aged men pushes him backwards. Iori steps backs a couple of feet as he starts to get angry at this pitiful excuse for a person. He regains composure and walks up to the man standing tall above him. Iori lifts his arm above the mans head and quickly grabs the man by him temple and lifts him off his feet. He squeezes the mans head as he can feel his skull begin to get weaker as he crushes the top of the mans head. Before the man's skull shatters Iori throws him hard into the side of a building rendering him unconscious. As this happened every other person still holding there ground as backed up against the furthest wall they could find.
Iori continues to grab the slabs of steak from the grill they were using. As he grabs the meat he hears a dog bark as he hears it running closer. The dog runs around Iori for about one minute as it starts to get on his nerves. It stops moving and stands to the side of Iori with its tongue sticking out drooling all over his shoe. Iori bends over and throws the dog one of the two slabs of steak taken from the grill as he bends over and pets it. The dog starts devouring the meat as Iori looks at his shoe. He walks over to the unconscious man and rubs his foot on the man's horrid clothes wiping the drool off. He then continues to walk along his way eating the last piece of steak with just his hands and his teeth as he notices the dog following him. Iori stops and thinks for a second as he throws the half eaten steak to the dog and continues walking. The dog picks up the steak and follows him along the long city street eating more of it every few yards.
((long fillers ftw whee whee whee ))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:20 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:45 am
Allen stood on the edge of a tall skyscraper looking at the city bellow in pity. What he saw along every street were refugees from previous towns he had encountered. as he looked down he felt a mixture of pity and guilt, he had failed to protect all of them. Still as he stood there he could remember the terrified faces of those he could not protect. He winced, he could remember them as clearly as if he was there right now. He held out his right palm, and in the middle of it a small purple flame emerged. He stood looking at the flame as if hoping it would grow into a shield so that he could protect everyone. The flame flickered there then died out. He truly felt hopeless. He looked at the scar on his arm, how could he protect others without at first being able to protect himself.
He turned to the next skyscraper and jumped. The gape between the two wasn't big but no man could truly do it without falling, but Allen landed gracefully on the other side. Ignoring the shouts bellow he walked away, the wind whipping the end of his coat.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:58 am
((is this the same city im in ><))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 3:25 am
((yeah it is the same city^_^))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 6:25 am
((woo-hoo! three pages!! now, I know not everyone shares my love of readng a bunch of posts that were made when I was gone, but please, please, please don't complain about it unless it's somemassive amount of pages. It just annoys me when people complain about how they have to read two pages, cause I have yet to meet another person who had to catch up to an rp that was 95 pages ahead of them. I have had to do that, and trust me it's not even close in comparison to two pages. I'll post in a second, I realy will.))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:12 am
Izzy took a deep breath. "yea, I can." She said, her voice no longer tense, and angry. he keeps saying, you were meant to be here, but what in the wide world does he mean?' she thought. She would have actualy asked him, but just then probably wasn't the best time to ask. It was one of those things that kept bugging you, and the more they said it, the more confusing it became, cause you'd start to over think it.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:32 am
((Oh crap so many pages. gonk gonk
Damnit I should've come back earlier. >___<;;; But I've been busy setting up a new art shop and drawing for people. ;3;
So what's going on so far? Damnit I don't know what to say! xD))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:36 am
((What was the last page you posted on? I'll try to give you an update.))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 8:55 am
[[ eek I think the last page Kyu posted on was 11. Uhg... that means I need to do another 3 day check crying ]]
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:05 am
((GOOD MORNING morning here, don't say afternoon >.< ))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:07 am
((this is all from my memory, so It's probably not the best. and I will get to all the characters.))
((since page 11[or a little before] Izzy killed some random person that killed her family, with help of Nendir. those two went to her house, saw the dead bodies of her family, she got a small collection of her stuff, they walked through a portal that dumped them outside Nendir's condo in chicago. Ryn had seen the dead body of the person Izzy killed, and followed some scent or other to her house where he saw Nendir go through the portal and he also saw the dead bodies. Ryn followed Izzy and Nendir to chicago, where he followed Nendir's scent to out side his condo, [oh and this is the day after they went through the portal] Nendir was out running so that he wasn't just sitting with no purpose, or, something like that, and he came back saw ryn, they had a disscusion, I guess you could call it that, and it ended with ryn giving nendir his sword to show nendir that he could trust him, and they went back in the condo where Izzy had beensitting pondering the occourances that had happened, and there was another short disscusion and then Nendir stated that they were going to the country side to train. so they go to this field in the countryside, and fought dummies that looked like them and had the same skills as them and were enchanted to kill them. Mark came out of a firey commet-like thing and ended up near the field where Izzy Ryn and Nendir were fighting the dummies he sat at the edge of the field. they defeated the dummies and edgar fell from the sky after being in some tunnel and fell on the car then started to fight a dummie who had taken on his shape and hit his head on something, Mark blasted the dummie with yellow-orange energy. and Ryn stalked over to him and was like 'what in all thing unhoooly are you and what are you doing here!' or, some thing to that efect. now, since i wrote all that I forgot what the other characters did so anyone who has anything to add or change to what happened to these characters go ahead while I go check. that was a very rough outline of what hapened and I'm sure there are some holes somewhere.))
((kimiko was sitting against the wall eating an apple, and I don't think we hear much of her for awhile.. Kin is with Sakeri [if I say sakeri, know that I mean amati too. well, most of the time..] in some field, or a hill, i forget. and he changed his form so that he looked like Sakeri, the gods had a meeting, Kin heard the gods meating got pissed, cause he learned that he was considered a decoy, changed back to his normal form, Sakeri was all astonished that he chould change his form, and there was a short conversation, and then Sakeri was skipping down the road saying "come on you two!" and Kin followed her, more conversation, she ran off with Amati's speed, and Amati ran behind at the speed of a mortal, and Kin started running real fast, then they were standing around, Sakeri gave Amati his speed back, and Amati ran into a pole. then there was a big OOC conversation on plots... wich I hadn't reall bothered to read the first time.))
((marasu was in some house where she had killed a bunch of people when she heard the god's conversation, she didn't pay much attention to it, then she went in the bathroom to wach off all the blood that was on her, had a little flashback type thing, then she just wandered around the town. Iori walked out of his apartment realy pissed off and there was purple flames, and he screamed cause he was really pissed off. he started walking, found a torn-up road, and he started walking along it, and he felt like someone was watching him. masaru found an old tree and she broke off a branck and tried to make a spear, It didn't really work so she threw the spear thing aside, and she made a blade-like thing from her finger nail wich she had sharpened, and she started thinking, and that post was on the bottom of page 13 go read it cause it's just one of those things you have to read to understand. Iori has been walking along the road along time, and finaly he sees the shape of a person [masaru] she sees him snd starts walking in his direction, they are the first to fight, Iori can't find the dice thing, he ends up walking away from the fight. Masaru started walking again and thought that she was getting too careless. Iori walks back to his apartment. Masaru starts to climb a mountain and that sounds totaly ridiculous the way I just said it. then iori changes his mind and walks to another town. He gets there steals some meat from some homeless people [shame, shame] and gave some of it to a stray dog.))
((I' just gonna go ahead and type part four! page 15, kittengrl39 made a post, it's quite intresting, but I didn't really understand it I'm tired. and Ojiro is/was in the town and it was just baisicly a filler post so I'm not gonna re-cap. This is gettin really skimpy but I'm really hungry and the sooner I get this done the sooner I can get something to eat. page 23, again kittengrl made a post but I don't really understand it, but it was intressting. Allen made his first appearence in the same city Iori's in and he was on a skyscraper feeling pity and guilt that he couldn't protect everybody and then he jumped to the next skyscraper. and OH MY GOSH I"M FINALLY DONE!! blaugh ...AT 2:25 PM!! gonk HOLY SH*T! THAT TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF!!! gonk ))
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:12 am
[[Good morning all...I'm going to wait for a few more other people's updates before I write anything. I think I want to see what Saki and co. are doing first. It'll give me a chance to eat something too... xd Oh the joys of breakfast! 4laugh ]]
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 9:47 am
(( good afternoon Rayne sry biggrin i just woke up at 12:30 whee whee whee
lol imbeating up humans yay )) whee whee whee
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|