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 Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 1:59 pm
My friend who is a Mombo listened to what has been going on in my life and told me that I was likely going to see six more upheavals before this run of bad luck passed.
I'm down to four.
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 6:42 am
I'm tired.
I'm tired of being tired all the time.
I'm tired of waking up and muddling through my day just to get back to my bed and not sleep again.
I'm tired of the people around me not even noticing that I'm tired.
I just want to sleep, but I keep having to wake up.
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Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:07 pm
I can't ******** believe how childish your acting. You block me and remove me from your friends list all over a view on politics. I'm sorry my views were a deal breaker on our friendship.
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Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:07 pm
I found out I'm an emotional drunk last night. I was an emotional wreck by 3 AM. I'm still kind of iffy at this point.
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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:03 pm
Post removed. I'm glad I got it off my chest, but I'd like it to be a bit more private.
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 10:54 pm
Alright, R. Call me out in a public forum on my bad habits, cryptically? In such a way that I can't say anything without having to explain the habits? Right. That's bullshit. Tell it too my face next time. I get Scati's silences, they're to not hurt feelings, but you? Storing it up to use it like that? That was wrong, mean, hurtful. And if you do it again, I will start listening to Snake's ideas.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:51 am
Gho the Girl Post removed. I'm glad I got it off my chest, but I'd like it to be a bit more private. It was an exceptionally well-written and eloquent rant. I hope you didn't destroy it entirely.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:46 pm
Apparently I'm a horrible b***h for daring to go to my friends for support about being sexually assaulted.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:19 pm
AniMajor Gho the Girl Post removed. I'm glad I got it off my chest, but I'd like it to be a bit more private. It was an exceptionally well-written and eloquent rant. I hope you didn't destroy it entirely. No, I moved it to my journals. I was hurt at the time because a dirty, vile mistake that I made was revealed to people that know who I am, without me being present to say "Yes, I screwed up, I had no idea, I'm so sorry." While I really don't want to associate with them because I don't feel secure about the whole thing, I don't bear the individual ill will, and I feared that the pain in my voice might undercut my intent of explaining why I was upset. Really, I don't think that our past relationship is salvageable. Looking at what happened after my transgression, obviously, I felt alot safer and had more trust invested in the other person than was invested in me. This isn't anyone's fault, it's just the result of our respective lives and traumas. Be that as it may, feelings were hurt on both sides, theirs definitely way more than mine, and so, actions were taken that weren't the safest, wisest, or most sensitive to all involved, on both our parts. I feel that while I definitely wronged the other individual, I also was slighted in the whole affair, and I don't get the impression the other side is interested in that. Maybe they shouldn't be, I don't know, but even so, the situation became a whole bucket of hurt, and so, I made the first move on ending it. I can understand that that is hurtful too, but I'd rather remove a painful part of my heart than hold onto it. I've made my apologies, and I'm going to take my knocks and move on. I've learned a lot about myself, and in the future I will act with more caution than I did previously. For me, this is enough, I can't sit here in pain, whether it is from my own mistakes, my friends mistakes, or anything else. For me, I need to keep moving, I need to let go. I'm not here to bad mouth anybody, merely state my own frustrations and my own needs. I feel that my earlier post, while very accurate as to how I felt at the time, doesn't accurately express how I feel now. Now, I'm still sorry, still hurt, but, I'm moving on. I'm keeping it in my journal as a lesson to myself and maybe a friend who reads it, and I'm going to continue down the path. Ugh, again, I'm rambling. Sorry if I lose my point in all those words xp
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:27 pm
Seeky Alright, R. Call me out in a public forum on my bad habits, cryptically? In such a way that I can't say anything without having to explain the habits? Right. That's bullshit. Tell it too my face next time. I get Scati's silences, they're to not hurt feelings, but you? Storing it up to use it like that? That was wrong, mean, hurtful. And if you do it again, I will start listening to Snake's ideas. Hm. I get your frustration. I don't know your situation, but some advice if I may (and if I may not, please read no further, and I will withdraw it with my apologies): Speak out to them, but in private. It may seem scary, or unwise, but honest, one-on-one communication is the first step if there is going to be a hope of rescuing a relationship, whatever it may be. If they are unwilling, move on. Remaining in a vexful, hexing communion serves nobody. If you feel frustrated and have no way to reach closure, you should find your own in a way that respects your needs and feelings while also being respectful of theirs. Just as you have been denied that respect, do not also fall into the same hole. Become a bigger person, grow from this contention, and live free.
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Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:00 pm
Gho the Girl Seeky Alright, R. Call me out in a public forum on my bad habits, cryptically? In such a way that I can't say anything without having to explain the habits? Right. That's bullshit. Tell it too my face next time. I get Scati's silences, they're to not hurt feelings, but you? Storing it up to use it like that? That was wrong, mean, hurtful. And if you do it again, I will start listening to Snake's ideas. Hm. I get your frustration. I don't know your situation, but some advice if I may (and if I may not, please read no further, and I will withdraw it with my apologies): Speak out to them, but in private. It may seem scary, or unwise, but honest, one-on-one communication is the first step if there is going to be a hope of rescuing a relationship, whatever it may be. If they are unwilling, move on. Remaining in a vexful, hexing communion serves nobody. If you feel frustrated and have no way to reach closure, you should find your own in a way that respects your needs and feelings while also being respectful of theirs. Just as you have been denied that respect, do not also fall into the same hole. Become a bigger person, grow from this contention, and live free. Heh. As free as a student on a training base can live, that is. But, I didn't need much of a talk with her. Passing in the halls, meeting her eyes, and murmuring "not cool" was enough to get her to delete her post on the CoP forum for our schoolhouse. And today was much better--what I expected to be a nosy personal question on break turned out to be "wanna come out with us for haircuts and manicures?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:06 am
I am not gay for the hook-ups. I am not gay because it is easier to get sex or easier to get checked out or anything like that. I did not choose to be this way. I did not choose to be more attracted to men that I am to women. I am not proud to be homosexual, it is nothing, nothing to be proud of. It is how we are born. Are blondes proud to be blond? Are the ones with green eyes proud to be so? I should think not!
We are all human and have no right to be better or worse than anyone else. We are all in the same boat, we are all doomed to die, we have no right to be proud of our being. We should be proud of our accomplishments, the impact that we make for future generations. Being gay is not an accomplishment, it is nothing to be proud of.
Gay pride is a big moneymaker, that is all it is. It is an excuse for horny gay men to get naked and wander the streets without punishment of the law. It is an excuse to make people forget about social norms and politeness and morality. I am not gay for this, I did not choose to like men, I did not choose to be this way. It is the gay people who go out of their way to try to hook up with every p***s on the planet that choose to be that way; they choose to act upon their sexuality in public. I do not nor will I ever for that is not how I am.
And I will not be swayed by anyone. I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses! I have moral obligations to myself and to my family and to my gods and no one will strike them down. I will not pose for advertisements that are supposed to be for a support group for people that have trouble being homosexual. I will not put myself out there for everyone to know who I am and what I do in the privacy of my bedroom. Sexuality is a private thing, it is inappropriate to make such things public.
Not because it is evil, no. I do not believe sexuality to be evil in the slightest, but because it is a personal, spiritual, private thing. I am not attracted to men because of their p***s size or their bodies or their height or anything like that. I am attracted to their personality. I am attracted to their intelligence, I am attracted to their determination. I could be, if I wanted to, I could act straight and get married and fulfill my mother and father's wishes and have a nice family with children. But I wouldn't be happy because my private life, my sexual life, would be unfulfilled. Sexually I am attracted to men and that is what makes me homosexual, but I do not and will not blare it for all to hear.
It is not necessary! Yes, we have gone leaps and bounds by telling others that we are here and that we will never go away, but do we have to blaze it in their faces? Look I'm gay and I like men and I like to sex them up this way ha ha ha ha haaa haaa.
I will not be judged because of my moral issues against the advertisement. It is immoral to me because the man is covered in mud which looks like human feces and he is sporting a pair of briefs that he is about to take off. I am not associated with that because that is something private, that is not part of my public life. My private life and the things associated with it do not need to be placed upon a piece of paper and put into a bar.
My sexuality is a sacred thing and I am not obligated to speak about it except in the privacy of my home or with a counselor. It is my business and what hides beneath my cloths is my business as well. Sexuality has lost its sacredness. It has lost is personal closeness with the individual. I will not become a public idol for what is part of me. I will not be forced into the limelight for something I did not choose to become.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:28 am
I think pride- any -Group- Pride is about how the group isn't treated equally, represented fairly or honored along side the others.
Until there is equality, there needs to be pride to honor what we are when the world around us honors everyone else by default.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:43 am
Esiris I think pride- any -Group- Pride is about how the group isn't treated equally, represented fairly or honored along side the others. But gay pride has become an excuse for homosexuals to show how they have sex in the bedroom. Naked men jumping about, some of them with erect cocks. Lesbians dancing about with strap ons and no tops! It's disgusting and inappropriate and I believe it is creating a huge set back. Erisis Until there is equality, there needs to be pride to honor what we are when the world around us honors everyone else by default. Pride leads to superiority, superiority leads to inequality all over again. We should just exist and leave it at that. We do not need flashy parades to show off our sex appeal.
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Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2010 12:52 am
Arcanist Angus But gay pride has become an excuse for homosexuals to show how they have sex in the bedroom. Naked men jumping about, some of them with erect cocks. Lesbians dancing about with strap ons and no tops! It's disgusting and inappropriate and I believe it is creating a huge set back. That hasn't been my experience of Pride where I live. People act out, in part because we're mistreated. Quote: Pride leads to superiority, superiority leads to inequality all over again. We should just exist and leave it at that. We do not need flashy parades to show off our sex appeal. Pride doesn't have to lead to superiority. Pride can be an honoring and cherishing of who and what we are.
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