|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:19 pm
maenad nuri Oh, husband is all about reverse racism (I think he gets the institutional idea, but he's more about the day to day) and also the "fake rape charges and certain idiotic statutory rapes charges hurt men!". Thankfully, his actions are far better than his words. I love the man, but he is very good at derailing. He's a long haul. Same goes for one of my best friends, who has become more than a bit jaded and classist since working in ER's. I have, however, introduced them to the concept of kyriarchy, which they like a lot. They get intersecting privileges and power dynamics, rather than singling out one single "-ism". I dunno why but in my experience white people are very invested in believing that minorities have just as much power to be racist as white people do and vehemently derail or deny any words to the contrary, even when I slap down some statistics like racial makeup of the Fortune 500, percentage of high school dropouts categorized by race, amount of blacks and latinos in jail compared to whites, ad nauseum. It literally took me 5 minutes to google info that made it very clear that institutional racism exists and yet they continually focus on individual discrimination. It boggles the mind. And yes oh my goodness I recently heard ableist and classist remarks by someone complaining about their job with section 8 housing. I don't see how she is fulfilled by working with those people if she also is disgusted by them. I really hope this is not common. Have you shown him derailing for dummies? It makes me giggle, but I'm not sure if people appreciate having their arguments dissected like that. Perhaps if you gave him some assigned reading? I feel like I've learned a lot just by shutting up and reading rather than arguing or discussing everything out.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:25 pm
I'm pretty sure I've shown him a bunch of sites. As I said, he's far stronger in actions than in words and at the very least knows tact. Work in progress -- not everyone is going to get it in a day or even over years -- although he and Tea have had some seriously EPIC conversations.
But, sometimes I think the remarks are a form of pressure release. It's venting, most of the time. Doesn't make it right, but there is a reason.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:31 pm
maenad nuri I'm pretty sure I've shown him a bunch of sites. As I said, he's far stronger in actions than in words and at the very least knows tact. Work in progress -- not everyone is going to get it in a day or even over years -- although he and Tea have had some seriously EPIC conversations. But, sometimes I think the remarks are a form of pressure release. It's venting, most of the time. Doesn't make it right, but there is a reason. :nods: Thanks for the reminder. I think a lot of the time my expectations are too high to allow for human error. I have to remind myself that compassion is also a worthy goal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:53 pm
Bastemhet maenad nuri I'm pretty sure I've shown him a bunch of sites. As I said, he's far stronger in actions than in words and at the very least knows tact. Work in progress -- not everyone is going to get it in a day or even over years -- although he and Tea have had some seriously EPIC conversations. But, sometimes I think the remarks are a form of pressure release. It's venting, most of the time. Doesn't make it right, but there is a reason. :nods: Thanks for the reminder. I think a lot of the time my expectations are too high to allow for human error. I have to remind myself that compassion is also a worthy goal. It's why I'm the nice one. Sometimes it's harder to be compassionate in the face of such overwhelming ignorance, willfull or otherwise than it is to get angry, to be the activist, to be loud and in your face. Everyone is going to react different. It's hard to get the rage in me -- it's also a fault, but annoyance and patience I really struggle with.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:00 pm
Bastemhet Collowrath: Yeah...I messaged her and told her I value our friendship a lot and could agree to disagree, but she sounds like she's willing to maintain peaceful dialogue, which really takes a lot of stress off of me. I'm glad I found such an awesome person. whee Also, wtf about people thinking less of you for your ethnicity! I love your posts about ethnic foods and musics (though I can 't claim to understand all of them, hee)! Everything you make sounds so yummy. I liked the egg you decorated too! razz I have no idea what it stands for though, so what does it stand for? sweatdrop It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile I'm not even sure if either of them even get why I was so upset with their rhetoric toward immigrants, people who don't speak English, etc. I tried to be very polite in explaining that by their standards, I wasn't even an American - then it became kinda backhanded; comments like "hola - look, I'm you, I know another language nobody cares about!!" which is hurtful to me in a couple of ways. @thepisanka - the black color symbolizes the Earth - good, moist, fruitful Earth; the red symbolizes fruitfulness and bounty, spiritual awakening. It's also action and charity, egging on the growth of crops, love, things like that. The latticework/red triangles are two-fold: the lattice screens out bad spirits, and they are also wolf's teeth, symbolizing strength. The flower in the center is a ruza/rose, which symbolizes beauty and perfection and happiness. The yellow bits coming out of it are supposed to be wheat shoots, which are of course, bounty. biggrin The parts on the top and bottom weren't intentionally any particular design, but they both look a lot like stags.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:46 pm
Collowrath It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile Actually she still wants to talk about it, she's just taking some time to digest it and make sure she doesn't respond emotionally. She's super awesome for that. heart Quote: I'm not even sure if either of them even get why I was so upset with their rhetoric toward immigrants, people who don't speak English, etc. I tried to be very polite in explaining that by their standards, I wasn't even an American - then it became kinda backhanded; comments like "hola - look, I'm you, I know another language nobody cares about!!" which is hurtful to me in a couple of ways. Wow. I love the arrogant US attitude. Yay for continued colonization and oppression! stare If I had my way there would be a lot more culture sensitivity training and more than simply two years of learning another language. Quote: @thepisanka - the black color symbolizes the Earth - good, moist, fruitful Earth; the red symbolizes fruitfulness and bounty, spiritual awakening. It's also action and charity, egging on the growth of crops, love, things like that. The latticework/red triangles are two-fold: the lattice screens out bad spirits, and they are also wolf's teeth, symbolizing strength. The flower in the center is a ruza/rose, which symbolizes beauty and perfection and happiness. The yellow bits coming out of it are supposed to be wheat shoots, which are of course, bounty. biggrin The parts on the top and bottom weren't intentionally any particular design, but they both look a lot like stags. Uwah! That's so neat that there's so much symbolism. I googled some images because I wondered how others might look like, and I found these:  So pretty! whee
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 7:59 am
Bastemhet Collowrath It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile Actually she still wants to talk about it, she's just taking some time to digest it and make sure she doesn't respond emotionally. She's super awesome for that. heart Quote: I'm not even sure if either of them even get why I was so upset with their rhetoric toward immigrants, people who don't speak English, etc. I tried to be very polite in explaining that by their standards, I wasn't even an American - then it became kinda backhanded; comments like "hola - look, I'm you, I know another language nobody cares about!!" which is hurtful to me in a couple of ways. Wow. I love the arrogant US attitude. Yay for continued colonization and oppression! stare If I had my way there would be a lot more culture sensitivity training and more than simply two years of learning another language. Quote: @thepisanka - the black color symbolizes the Earth - good, moist, fruitful Earth; the red symbolizes fruitfulness and bounty, spiritual awakening. It's also action and charity, egging on the growth of crops, love, things like that. The latticework/red triangles are two-fold: the lattice screens out bad spirits, and they are also wolf's teeth, symbolizing strength. The flower in the center is a ruza/rose, which symbolizes beauty and perfection and happiness. The yellow bits coming out of it are supposed to be wheat shoots, which are of course, bounty. biggrin The parts on the top and bottom weren't intentionally any particular design, but they both look a lot like stags. Uwah! That's so neat that there's so much symbolism. I googled some images because I wondered how others might look like, and I found these: So pretty! whee What are those?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:17 am
ShadowCatSoul Bastemhet Collowrath It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile Actually she still wants to talk about it, she's just taking some time to digest it and make sure she doesn't respond emotionally. She's super awesome for that. heart Quote: I'm not even sure if either of them even get why I was so upset with their rhetoric toward immigrants, people who don't speak English, etc. I tried to be very polite in explaining that by their standards, I wasn't even an American - then it became kinda backhanded; comments like "hola - look, I'm you, I know another language nobody cares about!!" which is hurtful to me in a couple of ways. Wow. I love the arrogant US attitude. Yay for continued colonization and oppression! stare If I had my way there would be a lot more culture sensitivity training and more than simply two years of learning another language. Quote: @thepisanka - the black color symbolizes the Earth - good, moist, fruitful Earth; the red symbolizes fruitfulness and bounty, spiritual awakening. It's also action and charity, egging on the growth of crops, love, things like that. The latticework/red triangles are two-fold: the lattice screens out bad spirits, and they are also wolf's teeth, symbolizing strength. The flower in the center is a ruza/rose, which symbolizes beauty and perfection and happiness. The yellow bits coming out of it are supposed to be wheat shoots, which are of course, bounty. biggrin The parts on the top and bottom weren't intentionally any particular design, but they both look a lot like stags. Uwah! That's so neat that there's so much symbolism. I googled some images because I wondered how others might look like, and I found these: So pretty! whee What are those? They're pysanky, dyed eggs.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 11:31 am
Brass Bell Doll ShadowCatSoul Bastemhet Collowrath It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile Actually she still wants to talk about it, she's just taking some time to digest it and make sure she doesn't respond emotionally. She's super awesome for that. heart Quote: I'm not even sure if either of them even get why I was so upset with their rhetoric toward immigrants, people who don't speak English, etc. I tried to be very polite in explaining that by their standards, I wasn't even an American - then it became kinda backhanded; comments like "hola - look, I'm you, I know another language nobody cares about!!" which is hurtful to me in a couple of ways. Wow. I love the arrogant US attitude. Yay for continued colonization and oppression! stare If I had my way there would be a lot more culture sensitivity training and more than simply two years of learning another language. Quote: @thepisanka - the black color symbolizes the Earth - good, moist, fruitful Earth; the red symbolizes fruitfulness and bounty, spiritual awakening. It's also action and charity, egging on the growth of crops, love, things like that. The latticework/red triangles are two-fold: the lattice screens out bad spirits, and they are also wolf's teeth, symbolizing strength. The flower in the center is a ruza/rose, which symbolizes beauty and perfection and happiness. The yellow bits coming out of it are supposed to be wheat shoots, which are of course, bounty. biggrin The parts on the top and bottom weren't intentionally any particular design, but they both look a lot like stags. Uwah! That's so neat that there's so much symbolism. I googled some images because I wondered how others might look like, and I found these: So pretty! whee What are those? They're pysanky, dyed eggs. Oh, I see. Interesting. And pretty.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 11:13 pm
Bastemhet Collowrath It's too bad you didn't get anywhere on the issue, but I'm very glad that you guys are remaining friends. The friendship, I think, is more important than making a point. smile Actually she still wants to talk about it, she's just taking some time to digest it and make sure she doesn't respond emotionally. She's super awesome for that. heart That is awesome! Quote: Wow. I love the arrogant US attitude. Yay for continued colonization and oppression! stare If I had my way there would be a lot more culture sensitivity training and more than simply two years of learning another language. Language is one of my favorite things. I love learning new words and expressions - it makes me really sad to see people that are honestly upset they have to hear anything other than English. The whole "this is America, I shouldn't have to dial 1 for English," shtick. I always think in Cherokee: "Amayetli detsayadanilvg! Ka no quo uwonihisdi tsalag!" Those pisanky you found are so beautiful! One day, I hope to be as skillful as the artists that made those! I could spend all day making them if I weren't so damned impatient. ShadowCatSoul: like Brass said - they're called pysanky, pisanky, pisanica/pisanitsa. The name comes from the word pisati or pisat' which means "to etch/write." When we make them, we melt beeswax in these little metal and wooden tools called a "kistka," and we use the kistka to etch the beeswax onto the egg. Then we dye it, and when it dries, we etch on another part of the design. Four or five etch-dunk-dry cycles and we melt the wax off and reveal the designs - it's a really fun, and a little frustrating. =D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:31 am
/rant
not to interrupt this discussion, but I'm annoyed. People talking about suicide so flippantly, like "oh, my bf left me I'm going to kill myself" really bug me. I've had to talk many friends down from suicide and then some, and it's really irritating that they'll throw that around like it's some new accessory. theres a line between jokes (my computer suicided) and these fake, emo attempts at getting attention. If they want to talk about their problems I'm happy to listen and help or comfort, but if they say they're going to kill themselves over a boy, I'm REALLY tempted to say "go ahead." Instead, I just report it if i can (which, when the girl on gaia did it, I did) and hope something is done (like on WoW when a "friend" said he'd taken a whole bottle of asprin trying to kill himself a few moments prior, i told a GM and they called the cops). GRR!
on a lighter note, England vs. USA tomorrow. yay.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 6:05 am
Arden Deschain on a lighter note, England vs. USA tomorrow. yay. That's not a light note if you haven't got a clue who you ought to root for. gonk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 7:17 am
As much as I attempt to retain some semblance of control over my emotions, I just cannot help feeling dispirited when members of my family leave for home (and vice versa). It is one thing when you live all of fifteen minutes from each other, and another entirely when you're hours apart and only see a handful of times per year if you're lucky. I suspect the worst part is I was raised to have a strong sense of family to begin with, and reading about how family-centered my ancestors were does not really help the matter either. Granted, families fracture and go off their separate ways, but when an individual cannot be the glue that keeps the members together, it's a tad disheartening. But then it's consoling to know it's not necessarily a situation I can easily control.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 8:17 am
Calixti Arden Deschain on a lighter note, England vs. USA tomorrow. yay. That's not a light note if you haven't got a clue who you ought to root for. gonk The way I see it, it's just gonna be an awesome match up, and either team winning will be great. as far as WC goes: England, USA, and anyone playing Brazil, in no particular order.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 13, 2010 9:45 pm
A musing if you will. I sense an oncoming storm approaching.
A person I know wrote for our campus paper last term. By the end of the term, he was pissed off because, unfortunately, we can't publish certain things due to legalities and the like. And he was pissed. I was not amused because he forswore us and then burnt full newspapers, something I can't look at due to cultural and religious upbringing that text (books, newspapers, etc) is sacred and shouldn't be destroyed willingly.
At the same time, he wrote a rather menacing note on Facebook that could be seen as a threat, particularly to our incoming editor-in-chief, who thought his writings could be liability.
And so he got a formal complaint as of a few days ago. And what does he do? He posts it on FB (when these things are supposed to be dealt with privately) and tags everyone he can from the paper, including the past EIC, past staff liason, and past board of governor. This is so not going to end well....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
