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When beginning to learn our positions for Marching Band, our band director uses a CD of the pieces to give us some idea as to what we're playing when we're marching. I've always wanted to switch the CD out with a highly embarassing one (Cher, mayhaps?) and have him accidentally play it.

with my band director she kills when you forget your instrument!! he almost ate me alive when i had to goto my house 20 mins before a concert -__-

make band sexual inuendos like...."my French horn is acting a little horny today" stuff like that...

my band friends and i made a list of everything sexual sounding that had to do with band but i forgot most of them..

Eat in uniform
smoke in uniform
be late for a game
be late for a concert (or graduation rehursal)
listen to music on a Portable device in class
dont wear Black socks
drop your instrament
dont practice

for a Band director who majorly plays the Clarinet, Change Reeds in the middle of a peice or Warm ups (Valve oil changes work too)

get a Job and are unable to goto a march or game
dont know your steps
you claim you cant walk heel toe
your postures crappy
both your feet are not flat on the floor
you loose your music and say "someone stole my music!"
touching the Sike (big white wall behind you on the stage that is worth $15.000)
during a Trip to a Big concert like Micca or Tanglewood sing 99 bottles of beer or someannoying song off key

the list goes on....

but there are some for yah rofl

aw man. our drum section made 356 paper airplanes and dumped them all into his office (which is VERY small).

i think that would annoy any director....except ours. lol

if your director's short, put the batons ontop of the chalk board

ask if you need to wear your plume for a game/parade.

if playing a rock/pop song sing instead of play (works wonders with bohemian rhapsody)

if you're a brass player and you frack a note, stop playing and start messing with your case, when asked what you're doing say you need to find a new reed.

get your entire section to turn their music upsidedown and play it.

pass around a plastic animal/figurine while playing, if the band director takes it get it back and have someone on the opposite side of the room hide it.

bring a lawnchair or kiddie pool to marching rehearsal and use it during breaks.

have waterguns with you at rehersal and use them liberally when given a water break

on an exposed part miss a sharp/flat/accidental. next time around have another person on that part miss it, repeat as many times as necessary

on a long stretch of repeating eighths alternate notes with others on the same part. continue to do this when he asks your part to play by yourselves.

write notes to each other on your music and don't erase them

have a notepad ready to write down the odd things he/she says during rehersal, then make a website of them all

set the dr. beat to the voice, on sixteenths (or some other odd rhythm) and as fast as it will go.

*i'll have more later when band camp starts