GAIA'S TIME LINE

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 137

Thursday, November 17th, 2005
3:44pm

Things are going well in R&D with the new group. We have been receiving parts for construction and everything is piecing together quite well. Having previous combat experience from my days in the service, it is only fitting that I ended up in this part of the facility >w
That girl who has been checking me out recently, Elftech 138.. She was also moved to R&D. We had a decent introduction, slightly awkward.. when we shook hands she seemed to hold on to my hand extra long and wouldnt let go. Her hand also seemed a little too warm even through her gloves. I wonder if she was feeling well. Anyway, theres more work to be done. Whats with Elftechs 722,247, and 101 all over there playing cards? 722 is quick with his hands.. I wonder how well he'd handle a knife :]  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 403
Thursday, November 17, 2005 6:54 pm

There was once a great Sun God and he was sitting atop his silver chariot reciting the food pyramid when he saw the most beautiful Banana walk by. The Sun God immediately grew 1000 eyes all over his body, from scalp to toe to observe this beautiful sight, for it were not enough for only 2 eyes to observe the luminiscent pulchritude of the Banana.

.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................

I think Legolass the Elf is really hawt. I heard he is into this thing called Scarientology. It talks about how an alien Xeanu Reeves is oppressing all our sekr3t powers. It sounds similar to what George tells me about the Sun God, maybe this is fate??

Mrs. Claus called me into her office. She says there was a security breach and an unknown outsider was recorded snooping through my journal!! She said it will be taken care of but I can't help but feel like I have to take matters into my own hands! What a serious transgression, this must be the positive ions of the MusaMusa reverting their spin according to Fermat's Little Theorem! The subspace of the inverted coordina-

ERROR 403: FORBIDDEN: We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech403 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact her through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.

-S CORP
"Making Christmas..."  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 722
Thursday, November 17th, 2005 8:20 PM

"In the meadow we can build a snowman ... "
Hah! Who says I have a bad singing voice?
"And pretend that he is Parson Broooown ....".
Not bad. Not bad at all! Oops. Elftech571 is telling me to keep quiet again. He wouldn't know good singing if it reached out and bit him on his well-toned Heine-kin.

Yesterday I got my new job assignment. No more etch-a-sketches for me! Elftech247 assigned me to working on moonshoes. Well, actually, he thinks he assigned me to work on a new CoKi Kitty utility belt and other CoKi kitty accessories.
"hey, wanna see a cool card trick?", I asked him. "pick a card, any card ... "
"look, I am really busy here. No time for games".
"just pick a card. It will only take a second", I cajoled him, with a close eye on the stack of work orders on his desk. Time to pull a switch ...

Elftech247 seemed annoyed, but took a card.
"Now what I want you to do, is memorize your card." I kept up the magician's patter, while shuffling the deck. " You have it in your mind? Don't forget it now!" I spread out the cards in a fan on his desk. "Now place your card back in the deck. You remember your card, right? Keep it fresh in your mind. I need you to really concentrate on the number so the telepathy will work."
When I picked the cards back up and began shuffling, my work order was in my pocket, along with the one for Elftech003. Moonshoes shoes, eh? That shouldn't be any trouble at all! Especially when Elftech003 does all my work, and completely forgets to work on her own project ... the utility belt. She's just so absent minded, i guess. hehe.
"Now, Elftech247, I want you to multiply the number in your head times 2000, then add 44 ... then divide that number by your original number --"

"I don't have time for this! Get back to work!" Elftech247 seemed a bit distracted. "I have to go check on what those other Elftechs are up to. I have no idea how you manage to keep up your quotas for toy production when all you seem to do is play cards and talk!" He ushered my out of his office, but as soon as he was down the hallway, I doubled back and replaced the work-orders with 'new and improved' assignments.
rumored to be ...
THE AMAZING ELF!  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 977
Friday, November 18th, 2005
12:53am

Quote:
life isn't a business to be managed .. it's a mystery to be lived.

i have journeyed to the end of the 'list' .. i can attest that it has been checked no less than two times .. another long day for this elf .. off to bed for me .. the implements of doom and destruction themselves could crash down around me and not bring me to wake.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 912
Friday, November 18, 2005 ~ 1:24am

journal, journal, journal!!! guess what????? i got to work with that psycho- door- lights elf!!! i think he's kinda cute!!! 3nodding elftech126 he is, and self-warming mugs we're making 4laugh we're partners... awwww, and i LOVE our project because i came up with the idea to test the mugs with COFFEE!!!!!!!!!! I love COFFEE!!! blaugh and SUGAR, lots of SUGAR!!! i hope he liked the idea, too, and the coffee, and... maybe... ...me redface omg!!! what time is it??? i gotta get my head outta the clouds and take my medicaton!!! ooooh pretty, blinkin, blue watch... HEY maybe i should get 126 a BLINKING, BLUE, WATCH!!!! oh, oh, oh, i hope he'll like one... but i better make sure it works before i give it to him... not like we need anymore malfunctioning mechanisms xp  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 247
Friday November 18, 2005
3:00 am
Authorization: 247
Password: ********
Encryption: text/plain

Transmission error. Unable to record. Recovered file follows. (20% loss)


Everthin is oingaccodingto pan. he Lrry otte setprovded he euipmnt fr chmica resrves themoonshoe proidedthe epais tothe eg uits f th sui as ell.We cn mae du witout he uilit bels, toughI amannoed tey ae no don. I m no sur howmanyapperancs th bacup sit cn mae sice i wasneve meat fo lon perods f us. 13 hasdonewellwithit. Pogres an resarchgo wll. e hae fusd th clas an canon i plae, ad ca nowmoveon t thestud of he val iself We lreay knw ithas trane prpertes. opeflly t wil bejustwhatwe ned.

The assignments have gone remarkably well. Everyone assigned on Naughty or Nice research seems to be pulling through, and as far as I'm concerned right now, the less people in the building, the better for the R&D team's experiments and ventures. Besides, Santa has been so busy that there's no way he could get his list checked twice. We're having him take it easy until Christmas. This year is going to be an amazing year for S Corp. I've moved most of my workstation down to the sublevel since I'm down here so much. R&D has basically become my life at this point. I even got a cot for sleeping- sometimes the best ideas come in the middle of the night, and it's great to be able to wake up and then make the idea happen.

The raneincient ill ertanly e casingsomeprobems. 101willbe ale t easly cver t upthouh. he nxt sipmet wil beheresoon andwe cn moe tothe econ phae.

We're gonna make it, we're actually going to make it. Well, as long as 003 does those CoKi kitties. They should learn from 722- his moonshoe production is amazing!

This was the message in code thanks to green ninja
(Everthing is going according to plan. The Larry Pottar set provided the equipment for chemical reserves. the moonshoe provided the repairs to the leg units of the suit as well. We can make due without the utility belts, though I am annoyed they are not done. I am not sure how many appearances the backup suit can make since it was never meant for long periods of use. 137 has done well with it. Progress and research go well. We have fused the claws and cannon in place, and can now move on to the study of the vial itself. We alreay know it has strange properties. Hopefully it will be just what we need.

The crane incident will certainly be causing some problems. 101 will be able to easily cover it up though. The next shipment will be here soon and we can move to the second phase. )  

[saphira_legend]

Press release-Yet more shipping problems

Friday, November 18th, 2005
10:05am



Dear Elves,

Really, no need to be alarmed. The accident in the shipping yards this morning was merely caused by a malfunction in the crane mechanism and no one was hurt. Accidents happen all of the time, especially during crunch time, so please disregard and continue with your assignments.


SECURITY CAM FEED  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 101
Friday, November 18th, 2005
11:27am
Sorta tired today... sweatdrop

My boss 247 had me up all night filling out forms... not just shipping forms but these things called LFI0508. Something about insurance and release forms for something called Din...on.thra.....poy..eee.....see..... gah, I can hardly say it.... um.... here, I'll just copy and paste: "Dinanthropoides Nivalis" sweatdrop

But yeah, after finally filling out all of the forms, I was only my way to the sleeping commons, when I noticed that the cute girl wasn't at her desk. It was weird cause everytime I walk by she is usually there... next thing I know I step on a loose spool of thread and totally fall on my head. crying

But when I look up, I notice that that girl was asleep under her desk. Poor thing. I walk over to her desk and notice under the sneeze guard that her assignment list include some ut....uto...pian ....be....lt....s.. oh oh, plutopian belts! I remember 247 mention that he needed those for something. I should probably bring them to him, they look finished and all. sweatdrop

Anywho, so I totally get lost in the facility at this point... apparently, I too tired so my vision is kinda blurry. After I finally drop them off, I realize that it's totally time for the shipments to arrive. It's too bad that 247 hasn't installed the new crane arm yet... cause today another accident happened... but what a surprise it was!! When the crate broke open, a bunch of little cute fuzzy white thingamabobs came out. They were so cute!! heart

That was just what I needed to start the new day! Who cares about sleep! I LOVE WORKING IN A SECRET ARCTIC TEST FACILITY! heart heart  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 123
Friday, November 18th, 2005
11:30am

WOW, MORE SHIPPING ACCIDENT AGAIN! Looks like even more mouths to feed today! Must get la-unch ready for everybodies.

Today, we will have catered Egg Rolls and party trays from Emperor Egg Roll. I hope everyone likes it.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 003
Saturday, November 18th, 2005
12:45 PM

I woke up under my workbench Friday afternoon. 1,200 Coki utility belts -2 days worth- were finished and gone. A check of the Manufacturing Department's status chart, confirmed that the belts have been received and logged in by 247.

I brought the sheets of titanium, heaps of bullet-proof fabric, and rolls of faux rabbit fur back to Inventory. The amputation of moonshoe production will be discovered soon.

Information extracted from the overheard whispers of other elves sparked my curiosity about the latest shipping incident. My ability to be ignored allowed me to easily escape notice as I checked the buildings, room by room.

I found my query in a dark corner of sub-level F. Rows of cages with metal bars lined the wall, stacked three high. Inside were hundreds of arms and legs connected to fluffy pillows no larger than my biggest rubber band ball. Some piled together, resembling moving heaps of batted cotton.

The smell in the air was akin to a quiet morning after a night of snowfall. Crisp, and fresh, with a nipping, frosted chill.

They were all head and limbs, padded feet and bright, slightly-crossed green eyes. Their chubby arms were a mere suggestion of the two strong clubs that one day they might become. Small tail-tuffs whisked from side to side at different tempos.

Each had a silvery protuberance on either side of the head. The metallic cornucopia curved upward, small and sterile, not causing damage as they playfully nudged each other.

They produced a mountain of consonant based noises, mrrrr, and rhrrrr, and brrrrr. Comforting blankets of alluring sound flowed from the cages creating rich layers of tone. They yawned often, exposing their fleshy pink tongues.

Each ice-puff had a single rounded milk-tooth fang protruding from the corner of it's wide mouth, identical in position for each, but with a left-side or right occurrence. The lefties had a tendency to roll at a 30-degree angle to the right, while the preference was reversed in the others.

Gender could not be ascertained from my position, each creature as sexless as the snowballs they resemble.

One approached the bars and sniffed me with it's moist, pink nose. It's fur was as soft and delicate as the lining of the moonshoes, but I could feel the breath-filled warmth, and the quick beats of a living heart.
(look how cute they are whee )  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 404
Friday, November 18th, 2005
3:54pm

Hey everybody! I've been working so hard trying to fill my quota of Larry Pottar Chemistry Set potions I nearly forgot to check my mail sweatdrop By the looks of it most of you will be at the premiere of the new Larry Pottar film tonight. Can't wait to see all of you! 4laugh To be honest, making the potions for the Larry Pottar set is fun and all but I much prefer to create the exciting and tasty snacks I'm known for. blaugh Well, I gotta go, those potions wont create themselves... or will they? *scribbles on notepad with the look of a mad scientist*  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 977
Friday, November 18th, 2005
5:50pm

violence .. anger .. rage .. these often exist as masks .. obscuring pain and hurt .. as if the act of frightening others away from us will save us from further pain .. but it is the armor we wear that prevents our healing .. its rough edges that reopen our wounds.

my dreams this week .. i never remember being so overwhelmed by them before .. last night i was surrounded by this huge .. thing .. ... .. no .. it was two separate things .. only they were so intertwined .. in alignment with each other .. then they became two distinct things .. polar opposites .. in an instant.

wherever they touched .. it felt like everything was being torn apart .. i was trapped in the middle if it .. them .. ... .. no .. everyone .. everything was there .. we were all so small .. so afraid .. these forces were going to destroy us .. extinguish the light from the world.

through my tears .. there was a flicker .. a trick of the slowly fading light being engulfed by the spreading darkness .. the flicker was suddenly a beacon .. cleaving the darkness in two .. freeing us all .. ... .. the 'things' .. they .. ... .. i can only say that sometimes 'opposite' is just a 180 degree turn away.

i woke crying .. not tears of despair or fear .. but of joy .. of release.  

[saphira_legend]

Journals of ElfTech 138
Friday, November 18th, 2005
6:23 PM

This morning's present to me was a nice mug. I couldn't think of any useful purpose for it in my latest piece, so I decided to fill it with some eggnog. I like a good eggnog now and then, but it has to be warm. I don't see why some people prefer it cold, now that's just ick! Anyway, I was about to warm it up in the microwave, but it turns out the eggnog got warm on its own!

Yesterday morning, I was scheduled to help 101 move more crates out of the transport, but it looked like 247 was helping handle that, so I decided to make myself useful elsewhere. Did you know we have to enter a clean room before entering R&D now? I guess they want to make sure we're super clean before working. sweatdrop Can't bring in any thing outside or take anything outside R&D. Anyway, I was about to benchmark test the talking software inside the new little Ferbay electronic pet when He walked by. Gosh, He does a number on my heartbeats!

There have been two more shipping accidents since I last wrote. Yesterday, we got a glimpse of the "Super Drencher 5000" and I think kids are going to love it! 137 seemed especially fascinated with it, He picked it up and held it like an expert marksman, but then He wanted to immediately clean up the mess. It's important to keep it secret, He said. I love what a responsible man He is!

I didn't hear the details of today's shipping accident, but I saw a white, fuzzy, little thingie toddle past me! It was so cute! ;O;  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 722
Friday, November 18th, 2005 7:20 PM

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Right down Santa Claus Lane.
( dum dee dum dum )

Vixen, Blitzen, all his reindeer
Pulling on the reins.
( baa daa daa daaa )

Bells are ringing, children singing,
All is merry and bright.
Hang your stockings and say a prayer,
Cause Santa Claus comes tonight.

What a magnificent singing voice I have! Villiam Hung can't hold a candle to me! I think I missed my true calling.

I am practicing some classic card tricks for my act: the traveling ace, grunny's rising card, gypsy's curse, invisible deck. Gotta keep my chops sharp. I tried a few out on some of the techs and seem to be creating quite a gathering every day at lunch. Elftech101 is especially fond of the Rising Grunny.
Afterwards I gave them all a very moving rendition of "Baby it's Cold Outside". I offered to sing them a few more, but they all said they had to get back to work right away. I guess my excellent toy production on the moonshoes is putting them all to shame ( Elftech003 is doing a smashing good job for me on the moonshoes!) ninja
I didn't want them to feel bad so I decided to cut back a little and took another nap underneath my workbench. The late night at Gambino's Gold Rush with Prancer really took it out of me. That deer can't count cards worth a darn! I lost 1800 gold because of that knuckle-head.
Fortunately, I will be making it all back on my magic act in a few days. Many people seem very eager to see The Amusing Elf as I will now be called. ( I can't use The Amazing Elf anymore. I have recieved several disturbing PMs threatening to blackmail me. ) Anyways, the act should go over very well. I very generously only charging 1500 gold per entry.
I also got several suggestions on how to turn Prancer into a rubber chicken. I guess every the Gaian thinks a magic wand is all it takes to be the world's greatest magician. It's called showmanship people! After all, who came up with the idea to turn Prancer into a rubber chicken in the first place?
bearing no resemblance at all to
THE AMAZING ELF!  

[saphira_legend]

The Grimoire of ElfTech 571
Saturday, November 19th, 2005 10:40pm
Durem sure has changed since I was last here. Of course, first thing I did was slide over to Moira's to catch up on her news. She's a great place to get started with this job; your typical bad girl, and we have an understanding...it's not a question of whether or not she's on my list or not, you understand. It's more about how far down she's going to be...and finking out your fellow do-badders gets you points on my list. I mean, get serious, there's only so much window-peeping I can stand...

But this year she's done pretty well for herself. Nothing like turning over a new leaf or two, you could say. Besides, I could never resist that smile.

I do miss Akea; Liam's your archetypal cool person, and he's more or less in the same boat Moira's in...another bad boy on the list. I hear from ElfTech 977 that he's doing pretty well for himself these days as well. What's the world coming to; everyone's on the up and up...maybe I should start looking for another job...somewhere warmer!