Slash Zinrai
I don't know, man...I'm GAIA CHAMP.
This s**t validates me so hard that the p***y's been flying my way for years...I'm drowning in it!
I've gotten used to dodging the excess, so your entry attack...Not very effective!
I'd come out of that s**t from down low, on the swivel, spraying you right in the face with TOP COP brand Oleoresin Capsicum Inflammatory Agent delivered via aerosol component within a trigger-burst mechanism.
It's an asthma attack in a pressurized can, paired with a heaping dose of blindness, and localized inflammation of the skin. You'd be orange, burning, and unable to breath...
Then I'd drop you just like Silver's panties when the HEIT turns up.
Winner: Slash.
cool Heh, not bad for an amateur. Self-trained. And pretty good at that. However.. I'm a hair better.
What you didn't realize is that "I" was actually my roommate's brother I dressed up as me. The real me, me, descends from the heavens, dousing your body in baking powder and baking soda. I used both because I always forget which one is which and that'd be embarrassing if I ******** that up. Anyway, so then as I land, I yell "
NOW!"
A river of Mountain Dew, the poor man's Dr. Pepper (and poor man's Dr. K and Dr. Pibb and etc) rushes through the area, engulfing you. The baking soda powder explodes, causing your body to emit a violent energy that rips it apart like Mike Tyson in his prime boxing a newborn baby.
But I don't believe in settling. No sir. I go all the way.
So then I enter in my French mercenary group because you can book those for like $20 on Craigslist, and I go "OUIOUI!" before they open fire. Then I start dodging the bullets to run in straight towards your mangled corpse.
This s**t starts playing while I beat the s**t out of you, before I yell out "Hah! Not bad. But did you really think I'd fall prey to my own strategy?....
SLASH!?!" before turning around and decking the s**t out of you because you'd obviously have sent a doppelganger to do this yourself. I preempted this however, thus leading to our current fiasco.
Shocked at how badass I am, I'd undo my belt and let my [
MIASMA ROD] fire out, blasting you into orbit. At this point, I'd use the black materia to summon [
METEOR], blowing up some shitty planets and annihilating you in space while dogs in astronaut suits piss on you.
Then Silver would be like "Oh~ Hael-senpai..!"
And I'd punch her square in the face, knocking her into the sky like a bad Pokemon episode, before grunting coolly: "
Once you go black.. I don't want you back."
At this point, Gatorade would offer me a contract. But of course it's really just your android clone you created on the off-chance you'd lose our decisive match, so I go "
Taste my electrolytes, b***h." before karate chopping your head off and shoving it into your capacitors and CPU. A photographer nearby witnesses this and, jaw agape, snaps a photograph because of how cool it was.
The End.
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