|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 5:52 am
So I slept with my ear on my shoulder... and now my neck hurts.
DX
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:02 am
I just moved from unfounded bliss to deep sadness. I wanted to laugh into pillows, now I just want to smash my hands against the wall till they bleed.
Shiiit, I should write/direct art house films
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:03 am
Auuuugggy.
D:
What's wrong sweetie?
=/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:21 am
Augoeides I just moved from unfounded bliss to deep sadness. I wanted to laugh into pillows, now I just want to smash my hands against the wall till they bleed. Shiiit, I should write/direct art house films
...as such, I will send a Shadow Clone to do the hugging for me.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu"
*sends to Hug Auggy*
(Feel free to murderously destroy said clone after it delivers the hug)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:25 am
Nothing actually, that's the thing, things seem to be going well with Anthony, he seems to genuinely like me, he accepted when I asked him out, he's sweet and he gives me butterflies in my stomach.
It's too good, too good for me, too good for my life. Something has to go wrong somewhere, it always does, I'm so scared about that, it's making me feel like everything is already wrong. Angry, sad, frightened, alone, I'm experiencing all these things despite things being good.
You know, I don't cry, or scream or feel sad in real life, not about me at least. I just feel disappointed, in myself and in how things turn out.
What I wouldn't give to be able to just scream till my throat bled, to feel like there was a place and time for me where it was okay cry and scream.
This plus the bouts of paranoia, the information overloads and mood swings makes me feel like maybe i should go see a psychiatrist.... =/
Heavy enough for you? =/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:39 am
Gee, Cobra, I'm not some homicidal maniac rolleyes
=/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:44 am
@Cobra- Chicken.
@Auggy- Nah. I've been around people who are so depressed its enough to send chills down your spine.
I'm going to tell you something that my pastor told me a couple of years ago, that changed my life:
"You can not force the will onto somebody, that doesn't want what you have to offer."
Bad things happen every minute, and you've got to just crawl into bed and cry your heart out; but eventually you've got to realize that even though it feels like your world may be falling apart, the sun still keeps rising in the east every morning.
It's okay to cry. Since the moment you were born, crying hasn't established that you're weak, it's established that you're alive.
But you've got to realize that if something doesn't work out, then that means it wasn't meant for you; and somewhere out there is someone or something better for you, that you're going to love more than the previous person or thing.
It has to be, because the world was made for you, babe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 7:45 am
I would say that more then anything else, you need to have more confidence in yourself.
Now, I can make no inference to your real life, as I only know you through the internet, though, like myself, I'm sure you bring a fair amount of yourself through the computer screen when you RP or make a post. HOWEVER, I have seen many admirable qualities of confidence in yourself and an ability to be who you are without feeling out of place with yourself, or within a group of friends.
My disagreement with parts of your lifestyle not withstanding, I believe that you are INCREDIBLY wrong to say that you are not worthy of anything, or that anything/one would be "too good' for you. I don't believe that for a second and I don't think that you should either. The only thing a thought like that can bring is destructiveness to yourself and you are TOO GOOD to be bringing thoughts like that agaisnt yourself.
Things will go wrong in any situation, in any circumstance, in ALL relationships, but it's how you work through and resolve conflict/difficulties that counts. You're going to mess up, there is no doubt in that, we all mess up a lot, but you can't live your life in fear of that. Simply take life as it comes and deal with it the best you can. As to a spiritual aspect, I can only point to my own feelings as I feel that prayer and the Lord's guidance help me through many of the difficulties in my life, but I cannot say what will work for you. (and its really a broader range discussion for another time, as I'm sure a Theology student like you would agree.)
[also, if you feel like you have no physical CONTROL over the mood swings etc. that you mentioned, it's possible a psychiatrist could help you, but I'd like you to be sure it was absolutely necessary before starting to take any kind of drugs.]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:01 am
You two are so sweet, and this little episode is calming down. Ugh, emotions fly 'round at the flip of a switch for me. The thing is, I know what you guys said, I've known it for like, ever. It's just when you're in that "place" it's so hard to see that stuff even if you already know it.
As for your disagreements Mr. Cobra, I will kindly direct you to the churches of Christ Theological College. We'll see what you think after that, if you're like anybody else, everything you know, you thought you knew, and everything you could know will be thrown around for the better.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:10 am
*pulls Auggy into my lap and cuddles him*
I know those places, dear. I just recently got out of an abusive home after living there for six years. I quiet literally went into that state of depressing frequently.
If you ever need somebody to cheer you up, come find me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:12 am
Well, with all due respect, I don't think my beliefs need to be 'thrown around for the better'. I'd be happy to discuss and defend my faith at any time, but a simple link to a College website doesn't really tell me much about about it's theology or what it is saying. (and I'm not about to start taking courses either.)
I'm glad your starting to feel better though. If all else fails in religious disputes and dissagreements, I think you can still rest at ease to know that I'll still always love my Auggish. heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:31 am
Well it's a place here in Aussie anyway. You can talk faith anywhere and anytime, but the way CCTC does it, it just forces you to experience angles far beyond any box of thought and its' outer limits.
Going to CCTC has been like a spiritual awakening for me, and not in the Christian sense either. Even though in some ways, I haven't shifted in my beliefs at all.
New testament pwns Leviticus anywayz. I believe Leviticus was likely social laws deemed holy for the sake of upkeep and preservation of what was a minority community at that time.
/is cuddled and loved
=)
Talking to Anthony right now as well, he IS amazing, it's as if all the angst just evaporated.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:38 am
I'm sorry Auggie D:
I feel the same way about girls. Thinking that something has to go wrong.
By the way This Is Interest In Your Insides.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:39 am
Augoeides New testament pwns Leviticus anywayz. I believe Leviticus was likely social laws deemed holy for the sake of upkeep and preservation of what was a minority community at that time.
However, just a short word, despite the Levitical Laws having been 'written over' persay by Christ's sacrifice, I wouldn't say that they were any less the will of God or Holy in their inception. The whole point of the law was to show people what could make them a holy people, set apart for God, and so, it's not like the laws can simply be thrown in the trash as they still hold a lot of truth as to what God expects of us in many ways.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:42 am
Uchiha Taiji I'm sorry Auggie D: I feel the same way about girls. Thinking that something has to go wrong. By the way This Is Interest In Your Insides. I guessed. The avvies only have veeery slight differences. /pets mr. kitty and gives him a treat @Cobra: Mind you, if you run with both then you gotta handle the tension between God delivering Perfect Justice and Perfect Grace on those caught between the two... which is everyone. All humans are compromised after all.. I'll let other people deal with that xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
