|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 9:05 am
As a note, this does not pertain to everybody...
Come on guys, some of y'all need to get some emotion when you post. Things do not have to be so black and white and that's one of the reasons AX has remained a great game for so long... cause we put color into our writing. As simple task does not need to be simple. Example:
What I'm getting tired of seeing
Penance saw that the entrance was blocked by heavy beams. She used her hand and pushed them away with telekinesis. Smiling at her sucess, they moved on.
What I'd like to start seeing again
A feeling of annoyance or maybe panic filled Penance as oversized, heavy steel beams had falled in the entranceway. They seemed to tower over everything and nobody save maybe Collossus would be able to move them. Unfortunately, it was just her. There was only one thing left for her to do. Putting her palm out in front of her, her gaze met the beams. She could feel their weight with her mind and hoped she could accomplish the task. Never letting it fall from her gaze, she forced her will on the beams. Their weight was felt by her own body, her own mind. Sweat started to form on her brow. With one, quick motion, she pulled her hands back and the beams ripped from their home at the entrance. Smirking, she was victorious over them and moved on.
-------------
I think we can agree the second is better than the first. When you are writing, remember... How does your character feel? What is around your character? Put all of their senses into it.
There is a reason we ask everybody for an RP Example... because we hope to get detailed writing, not short and choppy paragraphs. I can go to any other sucky X-Men game and get that.
I know the guild has gotten slow, but I am determined to pick things back up and to get our skill back to what it was.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:30 am
*nods* Aye aye, mon capitan! *smiles* Phew.. Finally caught up to all the pages. smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:25 pm
Sounds good, LJ. I'm on it. smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:05 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:17 pm
LadyJedi As a note, this does not pertain to everybody... Come on guys, some of y'all need to get some emotion when you post. Things do not have to be so black and white and that's one of the reasons AX has remained a great game for so long... cause we put color into our writing. As simple task does not need to be simple. Example: What I'm getting tired of seeingPenance saw that the entrance was blocked by heavy beams. She used her hand and pushed them away with telekinesis. Smiling at her sucess, they moved on. What I'd like to start seeing againA feeling of annoyance or maybe panic filled Penance as oversized, heavy steel beams had falled in the entranceway. They seemed to tower over everything and nobody save maybe Collossus would be able to move them. Unfortunately, it was just her. There was only one thing left for her to do. Putting her palm out in front of her, her gaze met the beams. She could feel their weight with her mind and hoped she could accomplish the task. Never letting it fall from her gaze, she forced her will on the beams. Their weight was felt by her own body, her own mind. Sweat started to form on her brow. With one, quick motion, she pulled her hands back and the beams ripped from their home at the entrance. Smirking, she was victorious over them and moved on. ------------- I think we can agree the second is better than the first. When you are writing, remember... How does your character feel? What is around your character? Put all of their senses into it. There is a reason we ask everybody for an RP Example... because we hope to get detailed writing, not short and choppy paragraphs. I can go to any other sucky X-Men game and get that. I know the guild has gotten slow, but I am determined to pick things back up and to get our skill back to what it was. I can't help feeling that's partially being directed to my shortish posts >> Not that I don't need to make them alot better >>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:20 pm
I'll try even harder, LJ. ^_^
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:31 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:02 pm
Don't take it as a slam everybody. It's something that needs worked on. I have found myself putting out posts that are less than my best efforts as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:18 pm
LadyJedi Don't take it as a slam everybody. It's something that needs worked on. I have found myself putting out posts that are less than my best efforts as well. No, no. I understand what you're saying. I'm just pointing out, that I know I should make better posts. Or, maybe make posts to begin with.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:25 pm
I think we're all used to the slugginess that is summer vacation. I certainly know I am. I mean, during the last two months, I've done less writing, less reading, less anything constructive than I really care to think about.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:41 pm
I've done alot of staying up all night and sleeping all day this summer. Gonna suck when school comes around.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:48 pm
college starts tomorrow!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:06 pm
Ironiclt, my posts on the whole seem to be getting longer and more detailed...go figure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:54 pm
public school started today, but college doesn't start until next week. This year we're starting pretty late, normally school's in session second wednesday of August and then college takes the third Thursday. Makes me extremely glad I'm finally out of the system. Although the house is a lot quieter, with everyone at school and all. The silence unnerves me. Greatly. So I pump the WMP at full blast so it can be heard in all parts of the house. Technology's just great. biggrin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
