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 Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 1:51 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 2:05 pm
My husband's mom had several mental issues before she passed, and she didn't hardly recognize my husband as her son many of the times we went to visit (which really wasn't many). It was about an opposite situation for us. My husband has pretty much written off his side of the family around here, because they disrespected me pretty bad while we were still dating. His brother took a swing at me (he was drunk off his a**) during a New Year's party a month and a half after we met, and his sister tried to convince me that my husband's ex was pregnant with his baby, and she was convinced I was the reason my husband wasn't with his ex (his ex cheated).
Anyway, he swore them off after they acted the way they did after we announced we eloped, and we only went around once in awhile after his mother got sick (I wanted to go more for her sake)...
I guess the major drama was with my family after we eloped, but it was more between yelling fights with my dad when my husband wasn't around. There was palpable tension between them, but they just wouldn't really interact for the first 5 years... but now Dad considers my husband as one of his kids, and my husband calls my dad "dad', and the whole family functions well. LOL
I guess i would have to say I am pretty blessed, and I would also say that, You, Kosi, are a very brave woman to confront your mother-in-law like that. I'll keep you in my thoughts, prayers, and send out positive vibes in your honor... and whatever else I can think of...
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Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 2:20 pm
You're lucky. razz I wish, really wish, he would write off his family... He obviously has not seen the crap they put me through.
I had an easy time forgetting my dad. He's a real piece of s**t... At my brother's wedding, my newest sister-in-law said that my brother still has the dollar bill that she wrote her number on. Then the p***k turns around and says "Matt still has to condom Emily gave him." I was furious and called him out with some thing like, "Excuse me? What was that?" He's such a piece of s**t... And everyone around heard. I pretty much never got along with so I guess that's why. Plus he cheated on my mom numerous times and was mentally and verbally abusive. It got physical, but mom kicked him out real quick. My husband's mom beat them with a belt... And mentally abused him. I don't understand why he thinks she is so great...
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 8:12 am
O....kay... So my husband and I were having a really nice, beneficial conversation and I was saying something like "If your mom comes to you about the letter I am sending I am going to flip s**t on her. I'm just telling you now." He says, fine, he doesn't care. Then a few minutes later he says something that really worried me. He said something like "I know if it came to it, I would have no problem dealing with my mom." I asked what he meant. He basically said, that if it turned physical, he would not hesitate to toss his mom. So I'm laying in bed like eek why did he just say that? So I asked and he said that is it ever got physical he would protect me. I said I would never start anything physical, his mom has her weight behind her, I would be no match for her, and I know this. I think that comment was a hidden fear that his mom will try something physical. So... after that I have even more justification to stay away from her and I think my husband is okay with that. I'm really glad he actually opened up and talked to me last night. It was really nice and I think he realized it was very needed.
And I got the letter back from my sister so I will read it to him when he gets his butt out of bed, take some criticism about it from him then send it off once he has okayed it.
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 9:24 am
*nods*well, good luck *hugs*
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Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 10:46 pm
That really does sound like progress!
...and it would make me wonder too... what his mom has said to him when you weren't around... and it means that he has already been considering what he would do...
Which is good that he has put more thought into things than he originally wanted to put into it... and it pretty much means that he has made his decision, and it's in your favor! 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 12:37 pm
Eltanin Sadachbia That really does sound like progress! ...and it would make me wonder too... what his mom has said to him when you weren't around... and it means that he has already been considering what he would do... Which is good that he has put more thought into things than he originally wanted to put into it... and it pretty much means that he has made his decision, and it's in your favor! 3nodding
Oh and another thing that really, really has me pissed. I sold her Mary Kay. She always got a good bit from me. Well now she went to someone else without even saying anything to me! Seriously!? She knows we could use the extra money! And the grandmother was very short with me when I called to see if she would be needing any... That's something else I need to bring up. I mean how immature! Grah!
But I had a talk with my husband this morning about not going to the dinner. I think he sees my side. He said he understood, kind of, so I will keep talking since we still have a week. I told him I was going to write down my points so we could talk about it later. He said okay.
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:53 pm
I guess I am a bit more passive confrontational when it comes to issues like this...
If I were in that situation, I would make my husband go and I would go to the grandparents' dinner as well, and if anyone brought it up, I would simply say that I am family too. Then I would work hard to get back on grandma's good side so she wouldn't listen to the trash that was talked about me... I would circumvent the mother as best as I could though, and try not to interact with the people causing the most issues about me...
If his mother treated me like that, I would do the same if it was her party. LOL... just call me party crasher... especially if my presence would cause so much tension...
I am somehow by design a pretty intimidating individual though, in RL... You probably wouldn't know it from interacting with me online. Part of it is family reputation, and part of it is from experiences I had growing up, and part of it is because I am a pretty solid build, (big even when I am not overweight xp ) So, I kinda eat these situations up... although it is probably best that you DO minimize your stress right now...
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:55 pm
Well, I am officially not the owner/captain of Savvy anymore.
I am a bit sad, but I think it was right...
I need a hug. sad
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Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 5:41 pm
**HUGS**
I'm back from my belated Honeymoon! Monterey Bay ROCKS!! We found this fabulous restaurant run by this Japanese man and his wife, that served "California-French Cuisine." BEST LAMB OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
I'm so jazzed right now. mrgreen
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ScarletFrost Vice Captain
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Chieftain Twilight Captain
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:12 am
:turns on Doringo, and then joins in on the hug.:
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:16 am
Aakosir Eltanin Sadachbia That really does sound like progress! ...and it would make me wonder too... what his mom has said to him when you weren't around... and it means that he has already been considering what he would do... Which is good that he has put more thought into things than he originally wanted to put into it... and it pretty much means that he has made his decision, and it's in your favor! 3nodding
Oh and another thing that really, really has me pissed. I sold her Mary Kay. She always got a good bit from me. Well now she went to someone else without even saying anything to me! Seriously!? She knows we could use the extra money! And the grandmother was very short with me when I called to see if she would be needing any... That's something else I need to bring up. I mean how immature! Grah!
But I had a talk with my husband this morning about not going to the dinner. I think he sees my side. He said he understood, kind of, so I will keep talking since we still have a week. I told him I was going to write down my points so we could talk about it later. He said okay.Do you want my advice? or just a hug every now and then?
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:17 am
*huggles Elta* mew i'm sad about this...
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:33 am
Yeah, I had some mixed feelings about it.... I still do... but the guild would have completely died if I didn't I am afraid... and I think that it wouldn't be fair for me to keep relying on others to carry it when I wouldn't be able to really do it.... anyway... I hope I will be able to hold my control issues in check as the new owner starts to implement her ideas... wish me luck.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 12:00 pm
@ Elta I was sad to hear you're not captain anymore crying
Well it's at some fancy resturaunt so they have to have a reservation. I'm sure I would not even be seated at their table if I did just show up... If I was not pregnant I would show up, but I have actually been a lot less stressed for the past few days. It's very nice. I'm really not used to not having stress. And I made a list of points why my husband should not go and what would happen if he did. We went over that earlier. He said everytime she says something about it he is going to bring up that I'm not invited. We'll see...
@ Shandrel Sure =^_^= I have been given some very good advice from everyon here. And you have gone through something that may be beginning to happen with this situation.
It's so funny. When I was in high school I was determined not to listen to anyone, to prove them I was not making a mistake. After soooo many mistakes, I finally learned to listen to people because they actually do know what they are talking about XD I'm such a hard head! I'm sure my mom wanted to throttle me through my high school years XD
And I'm actually in a very good mood right now. So weird! My husband and I were playing Halo till almost 1 am last night and I would just start laughing. It was actually a very good time.
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