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 Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:33 pm
She hadn't expected the attack to work but she really didn't expect it to fail like that. Gasping, she used her magic to raise the earth in front of her to shield against the blast. The thick wall didn't hold though and it exploded with so much force she was sent flying off the arena grounds and onto the ground below, completely passed out and injured from the flying debris. She had tried her best but the fighters in the tournament were a whole nother level above her.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 1:39 pm
unable to see Rena, through the rubble of the rock wall, Leonard dove at it, energy arcing from his claw, as he jumped up the wall, which was corroding as he moved, turning black and crumbling, as his last attack's residue spread, and he stood there, looking at her, as he let the energy around his claw disperse. "I believe, that is a win."
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:59 pm
A few moments later both of the combatants would phase out of existence and into the waiting room completely unhurt from the fight.
OOC: This is where the judges give their opinions the obvious winner is indeed Leonard however we still need to give both a positive and negative aspects of the fight.
Pyroknight1; First off I would like to congratulate you on a swift victory. I think your use of abilities was definitely effective. I think your strongest standing point is the ability to essentially copy a persons powers and use it against them for a strong element of shock. Your abilities to pull them back from other battles also gives you the edge of the one with the techniques. My third positive point for you is that you got into the fight. A lot of people will get themselves involved but they cant get themselves in character into the fight. This makes their posts more lacking. This tends to make the fight boring.
As for the negatives. I believe this match was a little offset unfortunately for Nekochild and if it was me I would have gaged her fighting ability to help increase her skills. I know this isn't necessarily something you are required but it helps others develop and it brings out the more of their character. Plus now you only know four new things about her power and nothing else. Wouldn't you think that if your trying to copy their powers you would try to draw out their full use so that you could use it fully yourself? Second is I like more description in my battles. As a reader this battle read extremely quickly and didn't have a lot of imagery. Merely flashes like pictures. Detail is harder but to ultimately improve as both a fighter and as a writer if you can imagine the picture fully and put it down to paper (or typing in this case) than it will make the fight more fruitful to both combatants. My last and final element is that your first usage of techniques was a red flag. It was almost an illegal movement so watch out for those. Teleportation is completely banned from the arena as it breaches the boundaries of fair fights. The way I saw it thanks to him slowly dissipating leaving his smile at the last point (which is the kind of imagery that is good in a fight) that he didn't teleport you just mis-worded things. He turned invisible and used a speed to get himself where he needed. Just be careful of things like this in the future.
NekoChild08:
As for you I thank you for participating. the match was enjoyable I hope as that's the true purpose of having them. I don't see a lot of females who are even willing to fight so especially in the first tournament this warms my heart that I even had one participate again thanks.
I like your character, you where able to write from a perspective that puts the reader into her thoughts. This could have been developed a bit more but I see the temporary victory's the worry the struggle of your character is within grasp. This allows a person who is reading learn about your character in a sense of who the person is. I like how even when your opponent stole you abilities that only made you push harder. You knew from the beginning that it was a mismatched fight. However you didn't give up. I won't lie just because of this I wanted your character to win.This is do to how you play your character. I saw your character like the young character of an anime series in a struggle that somehow against impossible odds you would win. regrettably it didn't but that is alright we live and we learn through experience. I also enjoy the simplicity of your character and style. its simple but gets everything across that is needed.
My only other aspect that I look against is that when you got it by his final attack. Powerful as it may be I don't feel it was something that should have KO'ed your character. This is alright I guess as you know your character better than I for many reasons. I just figured she would be a little tougher. The Earth used as a shield would have absorbed enough to keep her conscious the way I see it. Next point on the lesser side is I would have also liked slightly more developed posts. Explain the feelings in her body as in she feels the sting of pain on her incoming damages. You are effective at getting us into her emotion but the description improvement for you will come in explaining the full elements. Where as most guys are good at describing attacks and the actions and thus need to increase their ability in surroundings and feelings you are opposite, you need to increase the description on the movements of your character in relation to the surroundings as well as a bit on your surroundings. If you wish to make yourself a lot stronger the description will help you come up with ideas on how to USE your surroundings as a weapon better. Use your faerie magic to better manipulate your surroundings and victory will come easier. I can work with you on this if you wish. All my rp characters are open. My only other advice is slow down a little bit. Just cause your character is swooping around on her wings your hurrying yourself to make the posts. I understand the pressure trust me I wasn't always good at making posts and fighting we all had our days. If you calm down and think a little bit before you make your posts think of the next moves a bit as well. This will also increase your skills in both rp and combat. One thing pyro did against you was he predicted your actions that's why his posts where so fast to come in. He thought ahead to a degree and has been doing these kinds of things for a long time. In reality this is why he won. He has a bigger arsenal of weapons and more experience. Although you did splendid as a fighter and I look forward to seeing more fights from you
Overall it was a good fight. Pyro won by KO. The other judges will soon post their responses this is typically what I'm looking for. I look forward to more fights from both of you. And if either of you have questions about whats above PM me please.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:07 pm
Evaluation from DarkSeraphim28
Pyroknight1: Congratulations upon your victory. You have an impressive ability to copy your opponents skills, which also gives you the added advantage of surprise. You showed a very impressive skill in using this to your full advantage. Also I was very impressed with how you threw yourself and your character into the fight. It made the battle much more interesting and gave your posts a more filling element that made them quite good to read.
On a more negative note, I felt that it was unfortunate that the fight was a little offset. I agree with GC in that maybe you could have drawn out the copied powers a little more. In the long run it would give you the advantage of learning all that you could about a new power. Second, try to be careful about wording. A few of your posts were a bit confusing with the wording you used. On a few occasions it seemed as though you were using illegal moves. Just be careful. Thirdly, try to add more description. Try to flush out the scenes. for example, instead of just using flashes of light, try to add imagery to make them seem more impressive. When you're describing a character move, maybe add detail of the facial expression, switching from determination to shock or exhaustion.
NekoChild08: You did a superb job for your first fight in the tournament. Though you lost you fought valiantly and made a lovely effort.
One of your best points is how real your character seemed. The detail you put into your posts allowed us to see the fight from her point of view, which made the fight more interesting. You allowed us to feel your character's struggles and her determination. You also didn't allow the fact that the fight was ms-matched to give up. You threw yourself into the role and fought as hard as you could despite the odds. Also what is nice was that your style was simple yet was efficient. While complicated styles are nice there are occasions where it can get too much. Yours was very nice.
However I did feel that your character could have been a little tougher. Perhaps it is only from an outside point but I did feel that at times that maybe she took a few hits harder than maybe she should have. Also, perhaps you should work on developing your posts a little more. As I said with Pyro, add more detail and description. Your detail with emotion and her feelings are fantastic,but maybe it could be enhanced if you added in more physical descriptions. It would aid in developing your attacks and your fairy magic if you added detail to your surroundings, that way you could fully utilize your abilities and maybe even give yourself the advantage over your foe. Also, slow down instead of rushing your posts. I understand pressure, but if you take some time to think and plan a bit, it will make your posts better and allow you to anticipate your opponent's next move.
All in all, congratulations to Pyro, and to both combatants, a job well done! I look forward to see future posts from the both of you! You both did splendidly and best of luck to you both!
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:15 pm
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:18 pm
The screen would update itself
1)Leonard (pyroknight1)
SPACESPACEVS.
2)Rena (Nekochild0 cool
3- Jekirato (Galaxy Commander)
SPACESPACEVS.
4- Soren (Heart-of-Rain)
5- Felix (Shoxie)
SPACESPACEVS.
6- Rathe Gen-feather (Lombax scientist)
7- (A Purple Cat) waiting on character
SPACESPACEVS.
8- Conall (Hiraru Sagara)
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:22 pm
 A few minutes would pass as the arena fixed itself. this gave those watching a chance for bathroom and all but once it was over it was almost as if almost nothing had changed the announcer was still in the middle, "Will the next two fighters please come forward. This time We have the creator of the Arena Jekirato and the mysterious Soren.... Will these two please report to the arena."
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:33 pm
((I'd love to get help in developing my posts better. I'm always up for improving.))
Rena woke up in the middle of the waiting area on her back. Opening her eyes slowly, she looked around to get a feel for where she was before slowly sitting up. She could feel that her body had been healed completely but she was still remembering the fight that just happened. It felt like it was going on forever but she was sure that it was only a few minutes. Groaning a little, the realization of her loss finally dawned on her. "I lost..I kind of figured I would but..It's still pretty hard..I wonder how the others will do.." She got to her feet and then went over to the observation area to watch the next match.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:39 pm
At first one the side of the Arena for Jekirato there was electrical energy's followed by the warp of a controlled warp hole which was founded and based from the warp gun technology found from the ancient artifacts. Standing in the place was a massive figure over eight feet tall. The energy billowed around the body that was still black from the warp effect but it was slowly fading. Jekirato appeared in full reassuring his massive green form but now it had several weapons strapped to it. A massive cannon looking device that required two hands. A strange crystal based machine looking weapon on his left shoulder. On his right was something but it didn't resemble anything and was in complete mystery. On his left hip was a crossbow although it looked futuristic. On his right hip was a pair of handguns. On a strap across his chest was a strange handgun looking weapon. With all of this he had rounds covering his body. Actually standing on his shoulder was a shoulder canon. Both wrists had massive claws. The thought of how someone can move or even stand with all this would be implemented but since they had been close to him they knew how big his muscles truly where. His fist was the size of most average or smaller persons chest. His arms where a foot thick. His legs where bigger. He was huge and to boot he had been fighting like this all his life. His yellow eyes quickly grasped his location. It was now obvious where he had disappeared to once the matches had been arranged. He went to equip himself. He didn't know what he would need so he took a little of everything.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:49 pm
By the time Rena came too, Leonard was gone from the infirmary... but he hadnt gone to the observation area. coming out of the bathroom, he walked to the observation area in time to Jekirato make his enterance. whistling, Leonard envied the man his arsenal for a moment. leaning on the railing of the uppermost deck, he waited silently for the beatdown.
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Posted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 5:48 pm
 Rathe had watched the first fight. He sympathized with the female, but the male had fought to win. He didn't understand how the ability to copy powers worked, but he knew that the male wouldn't be able to copy his own powers. While he seemed to be able to just copy then control there was a difference to elven magic. It required many years of learning, a mastery of the ancient language, and then many years of training. Now some of the common magics could be copied easily, but he doubted that complex spells that required minutes of spoken preparation would be easily copied. Unless the man had a natural knowledge of the practice that would be his downfall. If Rathe had to fight the man he would stick to the more complex method of fighting. Magic could be used two ways, one was the easy mental imagination of the spell then a quick two word phrase and that was it. Then there was the more complex spoken structure where a spell caster had to spell out what they wanted. The first was less powerful, but easier to use in a tight spot. The second was stronger, but it usually took more time to prepare. That was where Rathe had the advantage. With his born speed and strength he could easily evade until his spells were ready. He felt out of sorts with himself. He usually ignored fighting, but simply watching the match had gotten his instincts pumping. It worked for him though, now he would be able to properly prepare for his coming match. Speaking of which, he pulled off his giant rucksack and began pulling out large pockets which he could wrap around his legs and arms. He had one for each leg and arm, and then several on a belt that wrapped all around his body. They were filled with the essentials for his preferred art of magic. He then instinctively shut his body down into hunting mode. All traces of his aura vanished, and he reverted back to his stalking animal mode. Unless someone looked right at him they wouldn't know he was there, though that didn't do much since he was sitting in the open. It was just instinct, what he always did when his blood began to pump.
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 5:15 am
// dang...I'm the last one to post now that I'm up razz Doesn't help that the internet just came back on >.< I'll try to be more timely.//
Soren worked his way down to across from Jekirato, hands in his pockets, a clouded expression prevalent on his face.
As he stepped up onto the arena, he flat out frowned at all of Jekirato's guns. He wasn't sure what they were, but they looked problematic.
He removed his hands from his pockets and stood, staring at Jekirato, his face slowly regressing to a blank stare.
He wasn't doing this to annoy anyone, though it agitated many people. Soren was just really a distant person most of the time.
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:45 pm
OOC: lol I think we are living at different hours... BIC ALRIGHT now for you two slackers ROLL YOUR DICE!!!!!
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GalaxyCommander rolled 1 6-sided dice:
1
Total: 1 (1-6)
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:52 pm
 Jekirato grabbed the dice then looked at the foxgirl trying to remember why he hired someone who is going to turn around and call someone like him a slacker... He threw the dice in annoyance and watched it bounce off the stage several times then roll in front of the fox girl. His keen eyesight showed him his roll even though it was a long way way away. OOC: This is what our fight will be tempo'd too if I can help it..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alGoISqcahM
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Heart-of-Rain rolled 1 6-sided dice:
5
Total: 5 (1-6)
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Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:09 pm
//lol, it's 10pm for me right now x3 As for the song....Yeah, lol, it's got a nice flow to it. I'll see if I can keep up with it biggrin *has new song on dl list*//
Soren took the other die and rolled it, unsheathing his twin hook swords with a fluid motion as it bounced, a small flicker returning to his eyes.
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