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 Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:18 am
shandrel Aakosir shandrel Aakosir Heh... My husband just frickin' blew up on me. His mom is a b***h, as you all probably know, and the whole thing that happened in January was bullshit. I wrote a letter about everything she did that I did not appreciate and signed my name and added my husband's. He had agreed with me at that time, but he totally switched sides on me and yelled at me. I was so mad. So through my tears I told him he had better have the same exact conversation with his mom... He called her and the entire time, if he had been a dog, his tail would have been tucked, his ears down and his belly would have been on the ground... He kept saying "I'm sorry I even have to have this conversation with you." I think it was aimed at me too, but he wasn't sorry... Or else he wouldn't have yelled at me like he did... Then more crap happened and I said something about him never standing up for me. So he listed when he stood up for me and guess what! He couldn't think of anything. He also said something about "never turning against the other", well guess what, you already turned on me so. But of course he doesn't want to hear it because he's "done" with the crap between me and his mom and he doesn't know who started it, but that's bullshit. His mom started it by telling him I wasn't right for him and that he should leave me and just deal with the child support. Also, harassing me when I got pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion. Then his aunt stopped us and chewed me out about using him and s**t. So who started it? Oh, it wasn't his perfect mommy! It had to have been me.... We're doing okay now, but I still need to bring this up to him when he'll actually listen.
Sorry for the rant... *hugs* i'm really lucky this time, my soon to be mother in law is really nice and helpful, she's taken me to the ER twice now, losing HOURS of her day, for less than life threatening situations... and not a single complaint O.O ( i can;t get a DR until i get my documentation from the military, and i can;t do that until I get a texas id, which is what i was doing when i passed out in line at the DMV yesterday >.< ) Well my last mother in law tried to poison me and my es, bought a swrd to cut my head off with, trie dto hit me in a car ect. O.O it never ended.... it seems some people are just...bitches. Honestly i pray to NEVER be a mother in law like that.... He married you, you have a kid.. they shouldn't be so bloody cruel. I think it's a control thing. *hugs*
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:24 am
Aakosir shandrel Aakosir shandrel Aakosir Heh... My husband just frickin' blew up on me. His mom is a b***h, as you all probably know, and the whole thing that happened in January was bullshit. I wrote a letter about everything she did that I did not appreciate and signed my name and added my husband's. He had agreed with me at that time, but he totally switched sides on me and yelled at me. I was so mad. So through my tears I told him he had better have the same exact conversation with his mom... He called her and the entire time, if he had been a dog, his tail would have been tucked, his ears down and his belly would have been on the ground... He kept saying "I'm sorry I even have to have this conversation with you." I think it was aimed at me too, but he wasn't sorry... Or else he wouldn't have yelled at me like he did... Then more crap happened and I said something about him never standing up for me. So he listed when he stood up for me and guess what! He couldn't think of anything. He also said something about "never turning against the other", well guess what, you already turned on me so. But of course he doesn't want to hear it because he's "done" with the crap between me and his mom and he doesn't know who started it, but that's bullshit. His mom started it by telling him I wasn't right for him and that he should leave me and just deal with the child support. Also, harassing me when I got pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion. Then his aunt stopped us and chewed me out about using him and s**t. So who started it? Oh, it wasn't his perfect mommy! It had to have been me.... We're doing okay now, but I still need to bring this up to him when he'll actually listen.
Sorry for the rant... *hugs* i'm really lucky this time, my soon to be mother in law is really nice and helpful, she's taken me to the ER twice now, losing HOURS of her day, for less than life threatening situations... and not a single complaint O.O ( i can;t get a DR until i get my documentation from the military, and i can;t do that until I get a texas id, which is what i was doing when i passed out in line at the DMV yesterday >.< ) Well my last mother in law tried to poison me and my es, bought a swrd to cut my head off with, trie dto hit me in a car ect. O.O it never ended.... it seems some people are just...bitches. Honestly i pray to NEVER be a mother in law like that.... He married you, you have a kid.. they shouldn't be so bloody cruel. I think it's a control thing. *hugs* She unfortunatly, won't ever try, unless something happens.... but she REVELS in these fights between you and him, it allows her to say "see? she's taking everything out on you, and i don't even know why she is upset." So here is my advice, and that's all it is... Don't expect him to do ANYTHING, about his mother. when she hurts you, tell him, calmly. " when your mother does ____________ it makes me feel ___________ because i feel ___________" and leave it alone. Don't talk about it, don't expect him to do anything, and if possible. Avoid her. Tell him you no longer wish to fight with HIM, over her hurtful words and actions, and therefore, since she does not, and will not approve of you, you are removing yourself from her world. ( i had to do this with my ex mother in law) And ignore her. don;t take her off facebook or anything just put her on ignore, >.> once again, when it comes up, stating that you no longer wish to fight, therefore, your not intruding on her life.
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:30 am
shandrel Aakosir shandrel Aakosir shandrel Aakosir Heh... My husband just frickin' blew up on me. His mom is a b***h, as you all probably know, and the whole thing that happened in January was bullshit. I wrote a letter about everything she did that I did not appreciate and signed my name and added my husband's. He had agreed with me at that time, but he totally switched sides on me and yelled at me. I was so mad. So through my tears I told him he had better have the same exact conversation with his mom... He called her and the entire time, if he had been a dog, his tail would have been tucked, his ears down and his belly would have been on the ground... He kept saying "I'm sorry I even have to have this conversation with you." I think it was aimed at me too, but he wasn't sorry... Or else he wouldn't have yelled at me like he did... Then more crap happened and I said something about him never standing up for me. So he listed when he stood up for me and guess what! He couldn't think of anything. He also said something about "never turning against the other", well guess what, you already turned on me so. But of course he doesn't want to hear it because he's "done" with the crap between me and his mom and he doesn't know who started it, but that's bullshit. His mom started it by telling him I wasn't right for him and that he should leave me and just deal with the child support. Also, harassing me when I got pregnant and wouldn't have an abortion. Then his aunt stopped us and chewed me out about using him and s**t. So who started it? Oh, it wasn't his perfect mommy! It had to have been me.... We're doing okay now, but I still need to bring this up to him when he'll actually listen.
Sorry for the rant... *hugs* i'm really lucky this time, my soon to be mother in law is really nice and helpful, she's taken me to the ER twice now, losing HOURS of her day, for less than life threatening situations... and not a single complaint O.O ( i can;t get a DR until i get my documentation from the military, and i can;t do that until I get a texas id, which is what i was doing when i passed out in line at the DMV yesterday >.< ) Well my last mother in law tried to poison me and my es, bought a swrd to cut my head off with, trie dto hit me in a car ect. O.O it never ended.... it seems some people are just...bitches. Honestly i pray to NEVER be a mother in law like that.... He married you, you have a kid.. they shouldn't be so bloody cruel. I think it's a control thing. *hugs* She unfortunatly, won't ever try, unless something happens.... but she REVELS in these fights between you and him, it allows her to say "see? she's taking everything out on you, and i don't even know why she is upset." So here is my advice, and that's all it is... Don't expect him to do ANYTHING, about his mother. when she hurts you, tell him, calmly. " when your mother does ____________ it makes me feel ___________ because i feel ___________" and leave it alone. Don't talk about it, don't expect him to do anything, and if possible. Avoid her. Tell him you no longer wish to fight with HIM, over her hurtful words and actions, and therefore, since she does not, and will not approve of you, you are removing yourself from her world. ( i had to do this with my ex mother in law) And ignore her. don;t take her off facebook or anything just put her on ignore, >.> once again, when it comes up, stating that you no longer wish to fight, therefore, your not intruding on her life.
He said he didn't care if we never spoke again. I said fine. So he said he would go to the family parties by himself and bring Elena. I said "Hell no, you're not taking her without me. Therefore she isn't going" I don't want my daughter around someone like that, so I guess his mom will be losing her only grandchildren because she's so frickin immature... Oh well. I do feel better now that he finally said I don't have to acknowledge her. That if I want to ignore her then he doesn't care. Which is a lie, he does care, but I don't care right now. It's better for all of us.
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:45 am
I would be careful about refusing to allow the little one to visit with your husband, it says many things that can be twisted against you. so LET him take her, it just makes her look like a bigger b***h wink
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 5:45 pm
shandrel I would be careful about refusing to allow the little one to visit with your husband, it says many things that can be twisted against you. so LET him take her, it just makes her look like a bigger b***h wink
I just do not trust my husband to keep a close enough eye on her. And the bitches would probably purposely dissapear with her... I do not trust them
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:22 pm
*hugs* heart
I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them.
Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 4:19 am
Aakosir shandrel I would be careful about refusing to allow the little one to visit with your husband, it says many things that can be twisted against you. so LET him take her, it just makes her look like a bigger b***h wink
I just do not trust my husband to keep a close enough eye on her. And the bitches would probably purposely dissapear with her... I do not trust them>.< lovely, well i completely understand but it will cause a HUGE shitstorm, so be ready for that. seriously. It will be used against you.
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:15 am
shandrel Aakosir shandrel I would be careful about refusing to allow the little one to visit with your husband, it says many things that can be twisted against you. so LET him take her, it just makes her look like a bigger b***h wink
I just do not trust my husband to keep a close enough eye on her. And the bitches would probably purposely dissapear with her... I do not trust them>.< lovely, well i completely understand but it will cause a HUGE shitstorm, so be ready for that. seriously. It will be used against you.
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:21 am
Foxifyre *hugs* heart I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them. Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
When I was pregnant his mom harassed me for not having an abortion. She seriously texted me telling me I was stupid and all this crap. I told her my family was supporting me and she said my mom needed to go to a shrink. Ha, funny, comming from her. Both times my husband was deployed she made absolutely no effort to see me or her granddaughter. But when he comes back it's "I want to see the baby!" Nice job faking interest. Yet he doesn't see this for some reason.
Atleast I have my side of the family, which is bigger than his and way more supportive. They know everything I went through, including the s**t in high school. His side doesn't know s**t about me so I just try to shrug and defend myself to my husband, which I shouldn't have to do... I probably will write that letter now, explaining my reasoning and reinforming him about what happened when he was deployed.
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:39 am
Aakosir Foxifyre *hugs* heart I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them. Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
When I was pregnant his mom harassed me for not having an abortion. She seriously texted me telling me I was stupid and all this crap. I told her my family was supporting me and she said my mom needed to go to a shrink. Ha, funny, comming from her. Both times my husband was deployed she made absolutely no effort to see me or her granddaughter. But when he comes back it's "I want to see the baby!" Nice job faking interest. Yet he doesn't see this for some reason.
Atleast I have my side of the family, which is bigger than his and way more supportive. They know everything I went through, including the s**t in high school. His side doesn't know s**t about me so I just try to shrug and defend myself to my husband, which I shouldn't have to do... I probably will write that letter now, explaining my reasoning and reinforming him about what happened when he was deployed.*hugs* i lost my baby, and my husband to his family. atleast you have your family. Can they back any of this up?
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 4:47 pm
I do hope your husband turns about for you in this Kosi...
On another note, I feel kinda heartsick right now. sad
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:06 pm
Aakosir Foxifyre *hugs* heart I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them. Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
When I was pregnant his mom harassed me for not having an abortion. She seriously texted me telling me I was stupid and all this crap. I told her my family was supporting me and she said my mom needed to go to a shrink. Ha, funny, comming from her. Both times my husband was deployed she made absolutely no effort to see me or her granddaughter. But when he comes back it's "I want to see the baby!" Nice job faking interest. Yet he doesn't see this for some reason.
Atleast I have my side of the family, which is bigger than his and way more supportive. They know everything I went through, including the s**t in high school. His side doesn't know s**t about me so I just try to shrug and defend myself to my husband, which I shouldn't have to do... I probably will write that letter now, explaining my reasoning and reinforming him about what happened when he was deployed.*hugs* heart I hope it gets better. I wish you the best of luck in this matter. I really do understand. I had a similar situation with my in-laws... My wife eventually sided with me but I know how crappy it feels to have someone you love not fully believe you.
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:07 pm
Eltanin Sadachbia I do hope your husband turns about for you in this Kosi... On another note, I feel kinda heartsick right now. sad aww... no fun. *hugs*
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:17 pm
shandrel Aakosir Foxifyre *hugs* heart I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them. Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
When I was pregnant his mom harassed me for not having an abortion. She seriously texted me telling me I was stupid and all this crap. I told her my family was supporting me and she said my mom needed to go to a shrink. Ha, funny, comming from her. Both times my husband was deployed she made absolutely no effort to see me or her granddaughter. But when he comes back it's "I want to see the baby!" Nice job faking interest. Yet he doesn't see this for some reason.
Atleast I have my side of the family, which is bigger than his and way more supportive. They know everything I went through, including the s**t in high school. His side doesn't know s**t about me so I just try to shrug and defend myself to my husband, which I shouldn't have to do... I probably will write that letter now, explaining my reasoning and reinforming him about what happened when he was deployed.*hugs* i lost my baby, and my husband to his family. atleast you have your family. Can they back any of this up?
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Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 6:19 pm
Foxifyre Aakosir Foxifyre *hugs* heart I understand about rifts in the family. I wish I had some good advice for this situation but I am still trying to figure out a good way of dealing with my own family rift. And in reality I doubt it's only you that needs advice on what to do. I think your spouse needs to learn who's side he should be on if he wants his family to stay in tact. What I mean by that is this: You and your daughter are his family first and foremost. He should be working on trying to keep that family and not alienate them. Also... Good for you for standing up for yourself and your daughter. 3nodding
When I was pregnant his mom harassed me for not having an abortion. She seriously texted me telling me I was stupid and all this crap. I told her my family was supporting me and she said my mom needed to go to a shrink. Ha, funny, comming from her. Both times my husband was deployed she made absolutely no effort to see me or her granddaughter. But when he comes back it's "I want to see the baby!" Nice job faking interest. Yet he doesn't see this for some reason.
Atleast I have my side of the family, which is bigger than his and way more supportive. They know everything I went through, including the s**t in high school. His side doesn't know s**t about me so I just try to shrug and defend myself to my husband, which I shouldn't have to do... I probably will write that letter now, explaining my reasoning and reinforming him about what happened when he was deployed.*hugs* heart I hope it gets better. I wish you the best of luck in this matter. I really do understand. I had a similar situation with my in-laws... My wife eventually sided with me but I know how crappy it feels to have someone you love not fully believe you.
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