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Larry stood there for a few seconds, a bit dumbfounded at all the stuff that could fit on this little girl. Nevertheless, in another second, he was soon putting the description into the search computer. One entry after another came up for educational books at ridiculous prices, mostly leading to colleges across America.

Larry knew that wouldn't be enough, so he tightened the search. 'Black Market Sales' was entered next, eliminating every legit guy on the list and slicing the list in half. This still left the list too long to follow. There was only one possibility left.

Looking back at Korie and shrugging his shoulders, Larry slowly typed 'Wooded Area' into the search box. This small entry quickly eliminated all of the list but two guys.

The first, Millard D. Johnson was a former professor who turned to antiquities trading for the millions of potential dollars in black market dealings. Larry looked at it and shook his head, saying "He fits the profile of a greedy spit, but not a creep."

The second one, however, jumped out at Larry. No picture, no name, no detailed description. Just the name of a business. "Fire and Brimstone books." Larry told Korie without looking "In the shack with the red stripe at the outskirts of Darkwoods Township."

Queuing up the portal, Larry entered 'Darkwoods Township', looking intently at Korie with his finger above the button. "What do you say?" he said "You got an equal say in this."

Korie had flipped off the little device and had attached it back to her hip as Larry put in a bunch of searches into the search computer. She looked over his shoulder as lists and lists of names and profiles popped onto the screen. Her eyes narrowed slightly when they hit one. No profile, just a shop name. Creepy, alright. "It sounds good to me. There's no harm in checking it out." She tugged on one side of her glove, her hands tensing out of both axiety and excitement.

Various halls, MMHQ

Joel glanced down at the name on the application. "Welcome to Mishap Mercenaries, Outai. Both of you," he included the oddly silent Martin in this announcement, "will be briefed on your first mission upstairs in conference room B in fifteen minutes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to collect the last member of this team."

The new people might be competent, but for the success of the mission, he needed someone with experience. Someone who could be counted upon not to run at the first sign of trouble. Unfortunately, there weren't too many people with experience who weren't out on jobs at the moment. Only one came to mind, a name and a picture of a man who only recently had returned from some secret mission. Joel found Shadow Dragon roaming the halls, apparently on a walk. Matching pace, he said, "You are Shadow Dragon, are you not?" (Was that the guy's real name?) "Tell me, Shadow Dragon, have you ever been to Nepal?"

Larry pressed the button and the portal manipulated and morphed and phased around to his touch. The lights flashed and in the place of the last portal opening now stood a swampy area surrounded by enormous trees. It was currently nighttime, there wasn't a single light in sight save for a few small lanterns hung from the tree branches and on the ground lay a trail of bread crumbs. "Creepy enough for you, kid?" Larry said, stepping through.

Spider sat on the floor of the holding cell, shiverinbg a bit. A moment later, after a short period of cognitive dissonance, coincidentially caused by a large american flag doused in ether, pressed against his face, he swayed a little.
"Hum, " he said in a slurred tone of voice, almost normal for himself, " there is noone out there, and I really have to go. should I wander around the building a bit? who knows, maybe they have a good old snack machine.... I could really go for pretzels. "
Swayingly, he shooed away the worms, stood up, and oriented himself. yes, a normal cell layout. Either the ether was getting to him, but they seemed to have mooved the door. Nevertheless, he knew where it had been... he kicked against the place in the cell, but was rewarded by the feeling of solid steel. he waited for a minute, and then looked at his shoe. some of the paint had come of, and was slowly crawling away from his shoe.
"Hmmm...."
he was used to paint doing it that way. heck, perhaps this was what all paint on the wall secretly desired. maybe staying in place was just a modulkar decision, fit for paint that was not enlightened. ....
he looked at his cat, which was sleeping on his jacket, nodded, and a plan formed.

The cat was rudely awakened by owner. It was not very smart, but it realised that it had not had anything to eat for a long time... so that nice chocolate bar seemed allright. Whit a low hiss, it clawed into it, shook it a while, just to make sure it was dead, and then looked up to owner. It was no gecko, but it had to be good.
A few minutes later, the cat was very relaxed. It had eaten well, but something was....
"Brrrrrrpffffft!"
The cat made a surprised face, when it noticed the rumbling in its belly. It realised that it had eaten something wrong, and now trhe bait wanted to get out.
"Mrrrrrrrreowwwwwwww!"
It looked up to the owner, and thankfully, he helped a bit. The cat was gently being lifted, whioch was a bit of the wrong way, and then it came....

Spider looked at the rappidly dissolving silvery wall, which was bent on fleeing away from the brown stains, with a silvery inkling of electricity. Yes, it worked so well. naturally, paint was afraid of that foulsmelling catshit.
Well, he thought, as he lowered the cat a bit, That was lucky that he had remembered the laxatives, and the snickers bar in the pocket of his jacket. And thanks to the explosive diarreah they caused his cat, the area of the door was literally covered in wet slippery cat-feces. Unluckily, it clicked, and swung open.
"the security system in cell 25 was damaged. It is highly reccomended that you extrapolate the prisoner, before the repair can be initiated. "
the voice was sweat and heavenly, so he followed the orders, and closed the door behind himself. The voice beeped heavenly, and behind the door, a rustling began.
he kissed the head of his cat, who lay exausted in his arms, as he heard a noise in the corridor behind him. he turned around, and saw a large muscular guard, standing in the corrridor behind him.
"What'cha doin there, boi?"
He waited for a minute, untill the ether allowed him to speak again.
"I am a certified doctor, here to interrogate this prisoner..."
He held up Cat by the neck, who purred, totally exausted.
The guard looked at cat, and scratched his head.
"Boy, that is a cat, if a eva seen un......"
Spider saw what the guard thought , because little worms where coming out o his ears, juggling with clockworks...
"Sir, that cat is actually a multidimensional villan, which has important informatin for the agency. he is slighty contaminated with antrax, and presently inhabited by the spirit of nixon. So please, I have to get him into the hospitalized noncontermative area, also known to such educated gentlemen as yourself as the room for the reduction of intestinal fillings through the gastrointernal extrafurcinastion tract. So, please, let me go through. "
He smiled, and presented the cat. He knew how it was going with the guard, as he had seen it multiple times already. The guard looked with concern at the cat, and then, stepped aside, muttering somerthing about them damn lunatics.
"You are right, son. they should all get the chair....."

Grinning, spider left the elevator in the main hall, grinning, and stroking his cat. Both of them where sleepy, and slightly trippy. he wandered aimlessly through the halls, his steps slightly better, yet still from time to time sniffing on the flag.
between the lines, he thought he smelled something..... the problem was, he yould not trust his eyes. So, he reached in his pocket, fumbled out a box of stampf, and took one.
"yes, that is right.... lady di... that is Lsd on your backside, yes? Come on, I am a goddamn doctor of journalism, so work with me.....Yesss, man, you go down smooth.... so, come on, show me the smells......"
The effect took a minute, but it was well worth it. Now, the smells practically swayed in the air in nice neon colors. he was mainly interested in the brown one, with the golden undertone....
"Coffee......"
he swayed through the halls, untill he found the slightly open door through which the smell came.... Perfect....The room was something witrh a desk....
He vaguely recognised that there was a sign for some conference room B.
Also, that there where people, or multiple entities in the room.... he could care less.
He went inside the room, grabbed the coffee pot, a box of doughnuts, and crawled under the table, where he happily munched away, in a sweet daze of his hallucinogenics.

((OOC: had to get out of the holding cell, since noone gave me nothing. Hope it will get weirder... description is in the special forums......))

Spider chomped down the last doughnuts, as he saw the voice. Most of the peyote had worn off, and now, the fresh trip of LSD had come in. most beautifully, the voice trailed under the table, looking like a 200 pound python with a wig and earrings made out of chrome skulls.
he did a barrel roll, dropping the cat to the floor, and soon standing next to the table, jumping up with all the elegance he could muster.
"God day, Ma'am, thing, mister.... I think thing would be the most political corret adress. My name is spider Jerusalem, and I am not a regular stoner, oh no, dear thing. I am A doctor of journalism, Magna c** laude from Princeton!"
The snake shot straight to the cat, swallowing its intestines in one huge gulp. He had to jump just to get out of the way of it, on a table. He noticed how the huge monster slithered around on the floor, which apparently had turned into worms. A lesser man would have succumbed to these foul visions, but he was an experienced drug-fiend deluxe.
"OOOOh, them god dam LIZZADS WITH NO SHOES! BUT THEY WILL NOT GET ME; I AM A PROFESSIONAL DRUG FIEND!"
He quickly hopped over to the main conference table, sweating like crazy.
"As I was saying, my credentials are flawless. 6 month in a nepalese monastary before I could even touch a damn advertisement, 4 month in paris, to refine my skills with the column, and the rest of the way flying all over the globe, to refine my journalistic skills, and to elongate my personal record as a professional drug fiend. And Mind you,. you do not learn Journalism by a ******** school alone. Youz learn it by hooking up your body with your brain, your gut and your reproductive organs, into one hell of a frightening doomsday device that you point at the entire ******** planet like your personal meat gun!"
he stood up, balancing to his full height, an effect which was greatly increased by the height of the table and his conciousness, making him very bold. He grabbed his crotch, to enhance the point of his ranting.
"Over a month ago, I have gotten a serious help call to help a dear friend, My colleague in mind, Tech something. he said it was not weird enough here, and that they were allways looking for new members of the team.
It was a tickle on the sphinkter of my jopurnalistic integrety, so I was morally obliged to come as fast as I can, simply to help you guys deal with whatever you call a problem here. "
His black linnen suit was fluttering loosely around his trained body, in the winds of hell that shooshed down from above, remembering him of Nam.
he looked at the surrounding crowd, who stared up at him in awe.
"I was reccieved well, and led into a room where I could consume my medicine too, you know.
I am a doctor too, medicating myself like that! But then, my cat had to go s**t all over the very friendly paint in the place, and the voice outside of my head, but nevertheless from above told me that I should leave the room and head for here!"
he grinned, as his hurting eyes managed a glimpse at the snake. It was just too nice, slithering out of there.
he jumped on its neck, waited till it stopped twitching, and then picked it up, and bit it. Surprisingly, it tasted like bavarian cream filled doughnuts.
"Hrschl, oh nom nopm nom!"
he chowed down, and realised that the force of his rambling had transformed the snake back to an ordinary doughnut. he grinned, and looked at his congregation.
"The cat is a singular entity, and my only defense against the vile necromantic forces of the nixon-swine, wanting to Take revenge onto me. Wherever she goes, I go. So, as A test of my noble obligations and intentions to join the mishaps mercaneries, please, let me stay and assist your team of fine decent americans in its current mission, after which you may deem wheter I am worthy of that challenge. "
he went down on one knee, mainly because it was easier to hold the balance, and bowed his head before The man. With his snake thongue killed, it did not look so scary.

The cat, as if on cue, stretched itself, and looked out from under the table, just catching a glimpse of owner, kneeling before one person. The fur now cleaned of anything, the cat put the best of her smiles on nher two faces, started purring, and began to slide around the legs of the person besides owner. perhaps it would result in the chance for food, affection, mating or a good clean kill. It had nothing to loose.