Welcome to Gaia! ::

ninja

Ugh, what a stressful week. *goes back to reading*

You know what's great? Playing a song in it's entirety....specially one that you've not played in years.

You know what's great? Your dog licking your face right after he's done cleaning his genitalia.

Gawd, dogs are so gross. >_<

That's so wrong, Reaver! XD

I prefer jokes that are simple, and don't require sex, violence or foulness to be humourous. Like this one;

Why did little Johnny fall off the swings? He had no arms.

You'll love this one then.

A man, a bear hunter, is off in Wyoming hunting his game. All the while waiting, finally, he sees a brown bear cross his line of sight. Settling in, he aimed and took the shot. BLAM! One shot, one kill. As he is going to bag his claim, he feels a tap on his shoulder. Looking behind him, he sees a big American black bear standing on it's hind legs, looking down at him with a mean scowl.

"That was my cousin you shot," the black bear said, "Now. There are two ways you can get out of this situation. One: I maul you. Two: You let me have my way with you." The hunter, being the gamesman that he was, turned around, pulled his pants down, and let the bear have it's way with him.

Roughly a month passed and hunter, feeling better than ever, decided to get a measure of revenge. That being said, he went to the same spot in the same forest he hunted in and waited. He didn't wait too long when he saw the same black bear meander in his sights. The trigger was pulled, the bear was shot dead in one plug. The hunter was elated and immediately rushed to get his quarry....that was until he felt a tap on his shoulder. When he turned around, he saw a grizzly bear scowling at him.

"That was my cousin," the grizzly explained whilst tapping his foot, "There's two ways to avoid any ill will between us. One: I maul you. Two: I have my way with you." The hunter, resigned to his fate, turned around, pulled his pants down, and let the bear have his way with him.

Roughly a year passed til the hunter was fit to hunt again, albeit with a funny walk. His resolve led him down the road of revenge yet again. With all his gear gathered, he found himself again at the same spot in the same forest in Wyoming. He waited. And waited. Finally, he saw that same grizzly bear walk into the same exact clearing, and when the time was right. He took his shot. One shot, one kill. The grizzly was plugged and bleeding out completely. The hunter feeling extremely satisfied, jumped out into the clearing to prepare his quarry for transport, was stopped in his tracks by a tap on his shoulder. Turning around slower than ever, the hunter looked up to see a polar bear standing on it's hindlegs, it's forelegs crossed over it's chest.

The polar bear shook it's head at the hunter and gave him a wry smile. "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

You know what sucks? Getting your wisdom teeth out a 9 this morning and trying to be able to eat/drink/talk/anything involing ones mouth.

Walks around a little funny. I've never had that problem. wink