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Okay so yesterday in band Low brass had the melody (because we just rock) and the claranets were playing the non important part really loud. so our BD stops and says "I don't talk about this much but I feel the need to now" "You all know what a balanced meal is right?"*We all nod* "Now is a plate of mashed potatoes a balanced meal?" (Some kid in the trumpet section: YES!!) BD: "Well You must really like mashed potatoes then" *We all laugh* "Now the Claranets are giving me TOO MANY MASHED POTATOES" We play it again and they still play too loudly "Maybe you didn't understand me YOU'RE PLAYING TOO LOUD!!!"

I'm in the drumline, but the band does a visual where they fit in a tight circle and bow. And some people are really tall and can't bend down very far and he always say, "don't stick out like a pimple."

And yesterday during rehearsal there was a kid that wasn't supposed to be on the field with us (this was during school hours) and he started running away and my BD chased him down and pulled his camera phone out and said, "ha! I got your picture, I'll see you in the office after this block is over." That was hilarious. He's obsessed with his picture phone.

There's a point in our show where we take a step and pause. This is what my BD said today, "Make sure your weight is right over your crotch and right over your dot."

My buddy Jay turned around and said to me, "I'll crotch your dot."
And I replied, "I'll dot your crotch."

Crotch is just a funny word.

Well, my old band director never really said anything funny. We always used to joke about her having her baton stuck too far up her butt. Anyway this one day, we were talking about out band trip to Canada (Toronto, specifically) and she was writing something on the whiteboard about some music association. But when she went to write association, someone called out a question and she quickly abbreviated it as 'a**." so she could snootily answer the question. We never let her live that one down.

Now my new band director is sort of fruity... if he didn't have a wife and kids, I'd swear he was gay. But, anywho, he was once telling us what song we were playing next and his voice faltered. He immediately stopped what he was saying, cleared his throat, and appologized saying that he had long ago gone through those "changes" and it really shouldn't be happening again...
... that was odd but I still laughed my butt off...

Well, (lots of good memories from 6th grade... in seventh) but, last year in jazz band, I was touching someone else's neck and Miss Jackson yelled, "RACHEL, STOP TOUCHING BRIAN'S THINGIE!" it took like ten minutes for everyone to stop laughing, and I turned so red, and I was literally crying from embarassment and laughter... then she said, "I meant his NECK. the saxaphone's NECK."

Another day, a few days before our concert, Miss Jackson had a pencil in her hand, and we were all talking, and she said kind of quietly, "Sometimes I wish sixthgraders were pencils..." at this point she paused.. "so I could just BREAK 'EM IN HALF." and then she broke her pencil. we all laughed about it afterwards, and she claims not to remember.

and this year, we have REALLY bad trumpets, and one of our flutes was having an arugment with a trumpet, and so she just yelled, "SHUT UP YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY THE TRUMPET!" and then there was silence, and I just said, "gr."

We were doing a breathing excersize in which we had to fill up our diapraghm and lungs to the top and hiss it out between our teeth. Some people just seemed to go on forever, so when our BD had run out of air, he said that some of them were either cheating or filling the space in their heads where their brain was supposed to be and having extra air from there. xD He was kidding, of course.

During a run though, one of our guard girls lost a shoe and she had troubles staying in step, so our directer followed her around the field saying, "Sock, sock, sock, shoe, sock." And it worked!

My old chorus teacher confiscated a tenis ball once... and he cut a slit in it so when he squeezed it, it opened, and then he drew a face on it and fixed yarn on it's head. then whenever he wanted us to open our mouths wide, he'd pull this thing out and squeeze it and be like "Aaaaaah" in this annoying voice. xD it was really funny.