GAIA'S TIME LINE

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 912
Tuesday, November 15, 2005 ~ 2:24pm

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!! i LOVE that song! 3nodding i should sing it together with the elf chic from outer space...maybe i should give her the bananas from my fruit snack too... .... .... SPEECHES ARE KEWL!!!! i LOVE Mr. Claus' speech today. it almost made me cry crying ...ok it did....it was so inspiring and touchful!!! i'm gonna try to be a really good elf today and not forget anything...what time is it? ooh, i LOVE my blinkin blue watch....I HATE JACK the butt crack!!!!!!!!! evil i wonder how everyone is doin? where'd i put my CANDY?!?!  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 977
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
4:11pm

someone Wrote:
A teacher is never a giver of truth, he is a guide, a pointer to the truth that each student must find for himself. A good teacher is merely a catalyst.


someone reminded me of this today .. perhaps i have placed too much dependency on Mr. Claus .. i should reflect on this and not trouble him with my petty worrying ..  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 404
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
4:19pm

Larry Pottar! Larry Pottar! Larry Pottar! Come on everybody, say it with me! My tickets came in the mail. Oh yeah! Looks like I have a mysterious benefactor, but who could it be? Whatever, there's only 3 more days until opening night! I hope the other elves didn't get jealous when I told them I'm going to meet Manuel Cladriffe, I mean I probably shouldn't have bragged about it but it's so exciting.

I take it you all heard the announcement this morning. I wish I could chat it up with the Big Man just one more time like we used to do. He was always my number one supporter. He used to help me with research in the other corner of the room. We'd take shots of vials and just lose track of time. If it wasn't for Jack he'd be down here right now telling Mrs Claus to take a chill pill. Then Mrs Claus wouldn't be pushing me around all the time gonk . She's so mean, I wish I could teach her a lesson or two, that would be the day.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 003
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
4:37 PM

His voice was like a war drum. Clenched fists punched the air. The rallying cries continued as the elves around me jumped from their seats.

I focused on the cheers, and let the violent cadence wash over me. Eight syllables, and then pause, eight syllables, and then pause, eight syllables, and then. pause.

San-Ta-Claus-Is-Com-Ing-To-Town.

Eight syllables, and then pause. An exhaled breath on the first, three -tuh noises in all, and the Claus formed by a quick, delicate meeting of tongue-tip to the back of upper teeth.

I was the last to file out of the auditorium. I watched Eyebrows as he skipped down the hall. He joined the others in words alone, instead of their harsh, guttural delivery, he preferred to delight in joyful variance at each turn. He allowed his voice to move through the octaves, the chant becoming song, and then erupting into a finale, each syllable being stretched out and expelled triumphantly. I saw him bouncing in the air to the rhythm of his voice. By the time we got back to our workbenches, he was so overwhelmed, that he could only wave his hands above his shining eyes.

An hour later, I heard a manic voice echoing from a cubicle, yelling SANTACLAUSISCOMINGTOTOWN SANTACLAUSISCOMINGTOTOWN over and over. The unusual inflection indicated that her vocal cords were travelling in a frantic looping motion. I mimed her rhythm in my whispers, and found that I could complete the mantra 11.5 times with one breath.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 247
Tuesday November 15, 2005
5:41 pm

Authorization: 247
Password: ********
Encryption: text/plain

Current Mood: Favorable
Current Music: "7 Days a Week" by The Teabulls

We're so behind! Christmas is a month away, and we're short on manpower, short on information (someone has to keep track of who is naughty and who is nice), and we are lacking innovative new toys for this year's Christmas. So now here I sit, starting at a list of our current staff. It's time to get busy, I'd say. Mrs. Claus tasked me with making sure everyone is busy, so I've started grouping everyone into three primary categories. R&D for toy development, NoN for Naughty or Nice Recon, and Manufacturing of toys that are in demand. The challenge is who to put where...

R&D:
I know for a fact that I'll need to be on that end. While I won't be working on toys, I will be repairing Santa's suit for the long winter flight he does. Need to seal up some of the cracks and test the heating unit. To help, I'll probably pull 101 into the department, since I can count on him to fill out forms, pick up shipments, and ask questions of others all without asking questions of his own. I will also need 137 there, he's dependable, and I know he'll do what I ask of him. If 137 comes, so will 138 since she seems to be eager to be around him. We shouldn't need more than five people right now since we're gearing up for the manufacturing push.

NoN Recon:
For going out of the north poll, 571 comes to mind. He needs to get out of the labratory a bit more since he's been here night after night. I think some fresh air in Durem for a day or more would do him well. 909 seems to be growing tired of building and manufacturing, so I will likely ask that he go to Barton for a day. I am also thinking of sending 977 to Aekea and 403 to Gambino. Once we get all the information, we can check the list twice for Santa. He's far too busy this year to check anything himself, so it's going to require the support of the entire elf team.

Manufacturing:
Finally comes the toys. We've got a few toys we need hundreds of and fast. To speed up the process, I am going to ask Mrs. Claus to do teams on some of the more complex projects:
722 to produce a CoKi Kitty. Coco was popular, Kiki was amazing, why not use the R&D from the past four weeks to put the two hottest trends together?
126 & 912 to produce the Self Warming Coffee Mug. It's popular with the morning crowd, that's for certain!
404 & 369 to create the Larry Pottar Chemistry Set. With the movie coming out this Friday, we already know there will be a huge demand for this item come the holiday season.
003 to produce Moon Shoes. Research shows that they are popular on many kids' wish lists.

Additionally, we will need to make the following adjustments for efficiency:
062 should oversee the manufacturing room floor. It's his last Christmas with us, and seeing the final "Christmas" is a sight worth seeing.
123 to manage Food Services for the company.
957 will handle our Janitorial Services during the night shift.

That should do it. Now all I have to do is propose this to Mrs. Claus and make sure we stay on track around the clock to make the best Christmas possible. Everyone around here is certainly in the spirit!  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 722
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005 5:50 PM

When I'm really bored, like right now, I try to come up with a new idea for my act. Here's my latest:

Quote:

"AND NOW! "
( drum-roll please )

"For my next trick ... "
( as the audience sits on the edge of their seats )

"a trick that will ASTOUND and AMAZE you ..."
( the spotlight flashes across the stage )

" I will turn THIS ordinary household REINDEER into ... "
( dramatic pause as the audience stares at the animal on the stage in wonderment: 'into what? A polar bear? A christmas tree? O please, let it be a christmas tree!' )

" a CHICKEN!!!!"

POOF!


"Cluck. Cluck. Cluck! Cluck-ety-Cluck!"


"And what a magnificent chicken it is too! What juicy drumsticks you have! Take it easy, Rudolph! No need to get your feathers ruffled! Santa won't notice a thing ... chickens are pretty good at flying and pulling a sleigh, right?"
No?
Hmmm. Well, that's a shame.
And now, on to my next trick, making a delicious chicken dinner from scratch!"



Did I mention that I don't like Rudolph? I met him today and ran the idea by him but he wasn't very cooperative. I'm gonna put on a little magic show for the rest of the elves. Something to lighten their spirits. But old Rudolf was not going for it.

"A chicken? You want to turn me into a chicken? I'm the laughing stock already around here." Rudolf snorted.

When he gets annoyed, his nose glows extra brightly, I've noticed.

"I'm not going to actually turn you into a chicken ... I'm gonna make them all THINK you are a chicken." I was very diplomatic. "Hey, how about a rubber chicken? Huh? That would be a good one, eh?"

Not even a chuckle from old Rudolph. I mean, come on, have a sense of humor! Oh well, maybe I can get Prancer to go along with it. That deer will do anything for a free lollipop  

[saphira_legend]

Journals of ElfTech 138
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
6:27 PM

Lately 909's been humming "Pa rum pum pum pum" incessantly while he puts together parts C, F, and H and it's driving me bat sheet!

I was just about to tell him how I feel about his musical ability when suddenly a voice came over the loudspeaker and told us to convene in the auditorium. Santa Claus gave an outstanding speech and we all went mad with excitement! I'm so glad the Big Guy's okay after rumors went around that Jack took him down. We shouted "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!" a good fifty times or so after his glorious speech.

But more importantly, after the big meeting I learned from 247 (a workaholic if I ever saw one) that I've been reassigned from manufacturing to R&D. I heard it's a really demanding department and I'm not sure I'm up to it, but I'll give it my best.

Maybe they'll actually increase my salary so I can afford to buy a good set of binoculars for...um, birdwatching. sweatdrop  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 369
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
8:05pm
Well... still can't sleep. After a few restless hours of attempted rest, I pulled myelf out of bed, picked up my trusty myPod, and headed to the nearest Big Kahoona Burger to pick up something tasty.

Mr. Claus' speech from earlier this morning is still fresh in my memory. All those elves, cheering! SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN! I hope Mr. Claus didn't see me looking all droopy-eyed and unattentive. gonk

I also found out that I'd been reassigned to manufacturing. How exciting! A Larry Potter Chemistry Set... I hope I still remember my periodic table. Hey, maybe we can use up some of that formaldehyde I noticed sitting around the other day... awful lot of the stuff there, though...

The insomnia is getting ridiculous. I received a bunch of emails from Gaians with helpful suggestions, and after trying them all, no luck yet. crying

I think it is time to visit a doctor.

*Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn*  

[saphira_legend]

Reassignments

Dear Elves,

We are nearing the end of the year crunch and we need to step up production in order to meet the needs of the people of the world. As such, Santa has ordered a reassignment for each Elf to better suit our production needs.

Please report to ElfTech247 for your reassignments. Carry on.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal Of ElfTech 957

Tuesday, November 16th, 2005
2:00am


Dear Stupid Journal that no one reads or cares about,

Today is off to a decent start [omgg can you believe it!!!]... I had a dream about 369 last night, but I woke up before I got anywhere =[. When I got to my locker today, I had a bunch packages waiting for me. Five of them had Heart shaped Box of Sweets in them. Wtfff...


"Give this to ElfTech369 to show you care"
"Give this to 369. She will love you for it! ^_^"
"You can give 369 these. PM me if you need advice wink "
"I'd suggest thanking her for the fruit and then give this to"
"Sweets for your elven crush smile "


... and a few other misc gifts. Thanks everyone, but I'll never work up the courage to give this to her. I think I might eat one for myself... What if I give it to her and she says no...t____t I'll probably start crying right in front of her... I can't handle that kind of pressure... *ghasp*.

I think what I might do it just write "<3 secret admirer" and leave them around for her to find... then I can see if she reacts. What harm could come from that, right? Maybe then later I could write her a note or something... but only at the end of the day so I don't have to face her.... _|``|O All my life I've been like this... Girls make me so nervous. I've never had a girl-elf-friend T___T.

Well... now I'm depressed again. Time to go check the new assignments... maybe I'll get to make toys =]]].

And someone sent me a vial of green liquid. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I looked it up on poogle, but I couldn't find anything - all the links were 404'd.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 369
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
2:57am

I found a heart box full of candy stuffed into one of my open desk drawers tonight, after returning from the floor pantry. I didn't find any notes, and the box and many of the chocolates inside were crushed to the point in which I'd have to lick the box to eat it... sweatdrop

How strange. Maybe some poor tired elf was in a hurry and missed the trashcan... it's right there next to my desk..... confused

It is very quiet tonight here at the factory. I've decided to take a break from cleaning up the workspace where Elftech404 and I are to work on the Larry Potter Chemistry Set (there are Tickle-Me-Lamos everywhere! Kinda creepy if you ask me...)

On my way to work, I stopped by a tea store and picked up some Bengal Spice Tea, in taking up a recent suggestion from a helpful Gaian. I've mixed it with some warm milk- it tastes delicious! During my break, I will Poogle up some other options to look into, other than the doctor's appointment I've set up on Thursday. Valerian and melatonin? Cold showers and sleeping pills?

Perhaps I am doomed to just not sleep at night forever. crying  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 062
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
3AM

That nightmare! It's that same nightmare again...

What are we going to do? For days now I've been telling everyone that things are okay, but if anyone find out about the truth this Christmas is going to be a disaster...  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 137
Monday, November 16th, 2005
3:44am

Exausted.

Had to finish a lot of work in the uh... private areas of the facility.
Things are moving along. Christmas might actually happen at this rate.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 722
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005 6:40 AM

I got Prancer to go along with it! Turning that silly reindeer into a rubber chicken will be the greatest feat of my career. The Amazing Elf rises again! Prancer wasn't hard to convince.

"How about 2 cans of chicken cola and a vegie-rollup?"

Prancer was elated. Turns out he is a huge fan of vegie rollups, although he thinks the chicken cola is questionable. Anyways, Prancer agreed, so now I just need to think of a way to pull of the stunt.

I've never tried a stunt of this magnitude before. I can do a rabbit from a hat easily, but tranforming a reindeer into a chicken is no small feat. The magic books say don't involve live animals in your act because they are messy and unpredictible. I hope Prancer doesn't leave any droppings on the stage.

Today I will be meeting with Elftech247 for my new job assignment. I am a little disappointed they are making me change jobs. I was getting so good at making those etch-a-sketches! I am getting rave reviews on my performance evaluations. It helps that I sit in the factory next to Elftech003's workbench. Yesterday, I was able to lift a couple hundred etch-a-sketches from her stack mid-afternoon and boosted my quota to over 650. ( Speaking of Elftech003, what is up with all the rubberbands? eek ) Since my quota was filled, I took a well-deserved afternoon off. Who needs to go to elf choir practice? Pffft. I have an excellent singing voice already. Par Rum Pum Pum Pum! And Mrs. Claus' auditorium address was more of the same 'Santa Claus is coming to town' drivel, no doubt. Skip it!

I asked Prancer if he wanted to go with me to a fun party in the back room of Gambino's Gold Rush.

"There will be lots of free vegie rollups, Prancer! And we are gonna playing black-jack, so you don't have to hold the cards with your hooves. In fact, you don't have to sit in on the game at all. I will teach you how to count cards and you signal me. How about that? That would be fun, right?"

But Prancer declined and made some horrible joke about how he only goes to 'stag parties'. He laughed for 15 minutes. I was not amused. I hope he doesn't try to upstage me by telling a bunch of lame knock-knock jokes on stage during my chicken tranformation act. I think I liked it better when reindeer couldn't talk.

The party was fun last night, but I lost over 500 gold. I need a playing partner to help neutralize the odds a bit. Time for another fun day at the factory! Too bad they pay us in sugar-plums and peppermint sticks here at the north pole. Ever try to exchange a sack of candy for a stack of chips at a casino? Fortunately, I know Lex personally, so he can hook me up.  

[saphira_legend]

Journal of ElfTech 062
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
9AM

The frosty pills and jolly vitamins really help with my sleeping problems. All my trouble seemed to have gone away...

Today I've been reassigned to the manufacturing facility as the chief elven operator. It's nice to have a new title before my retirement, but that is just a ploy to take me away from the research department. Now that the project is complete, it's just a matter of time until the parts arrive. My new job is to make sure that the manufacturing of our latest and greatest... toy is handled properly. The old man would be proud if he see this.

It's time for breakfest. Let me try some of this vegie fruit roll-ups.