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 Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 11:17 am
What did I say. WHAT DID I SAY!? I TOLD YOU! I. TOLD. YOU!!!!!!! I'm so tired of repeating what I said to idiots who remember me putting things where I did not, when they can't even remember what they ate for breakfast three days ago. I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. I CAN MAKE MAPS IN MY HEAD. MY ROOM IS A MESS BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS SO WHY BOTHER MAKING IT PRETTY FOR PEOPLE?! JUST TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR THEM TO FIND MY STUFF FOR ME?! I FIND IT MYSELF! ARGH. I'm tired of telling people things when they don't believe me. ((Levi excluded because that's a game lol))
Hilarious how i found what you were looking for in your room that you claim is so organized. I know you, you shove s**t where it doesn't belong and say its ok as long as it looks pretty. That's not organization dear. D:<
ARRRRRRRRRRGH FRUSTRATED. FRUSTRATION IS TAKEN OUT ON ROOM NAO. MUST MOVE FURNITURE SO I HAVE MOAR ROOM. D:<<<<<<<<<< FML!
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:29 am
"How dare you? HOW.DARE.YOU? How DARE you tell me you died and then make me fel bad for leaving you?! I LOVED YOU GOD DAMMIT. I STILL DO. It sucks because after your ******** display, I stand strong and what do you do? You ignore me and cry and b***h like a woman just because we aren't dating anymore and I'm dating someone else because of YOU faking your death. Every ******** time I was away for og, you would lose love for me even though I tried to contact you! I NEVER lost my love for you!"
"Now you are staying with a girl that you constantly fight with and treats you like CRAP? The one we tried getting rid of? Now I find out you've been dating her for 5 ******** YEARS?! WELL ******** YOU ANGEL! ********. For treating me like crap, for using me, for lying to me, and for controlling me. But most of all, for messing with my feelings because you didn't want to be with me. I gave my heart and soul to you! I was going to give you y ******** vrginity! I went against my own parents to defend you because they didn't like you!"
"It's all in vein now. So just do me a favor and leave me alone. My love was obviously wasted all those 2 1/2 years. I'd rather not waste the rest of my life being friends with you. So goodbye forever. Enjoy your terrible life with your whore of a girlfriend who will only make your life miserable. Goodbye forever."
From your lost love and no longer wife,
Sally
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 10:16 am
EVERYTHING has to be about you. Doesn't it? DOESNT IT!? RIGHT!? YOU ARE THE POLE THE GLOBE TURNS ON. RIGHT!?
WELL ******** YOU.
I want my money. FOR ME. I paid off your credit card already. I PAID OFF WHAT YOU SPENT ON ME AND THEN SOME. I GAVE YOU MONEY TO MAKE THE BILLS. <******** YOU.
I am taking MY money and using it on me. I am going to spend it on MY laptop and MY speakers. I was going to get furniture for my room because you won't. Because you CANT. But now... Because YOU are SOOOOOOO disabled, I have to give you MY money to pay off YOUR credit card that YOU pay the bills with. THIS is why I didn't want to live here. EVERYTHING is for you guys. I have to sit here, in ragged, old clothes, in a room that doesn't have real furniture, so I can go to school, so I can move away and afford to support myself. BUT OH WAIT. I'LL BE IN SO MUCH DEBT BECAUSE OF YOU. I could have spent it on my textbooks and things I needed, things I could have taken with me when I moved, but no. NOPE. I gotta spend it on you. And YA, you DO use your credit card to buy my books, but they aren't that expensive. I only need 2 books this year. And I always get the used ones with the markings all over the books. Why? Because I know you are buying them. Now you're outside my door telling me I need to do s**t. Well fine. I'll continue to do s**t, but people wonder why I'm so ******** depressed and unhappy. Because I sit in a room all day, wearing old clothes, sitting at a makeshift desk, sleeping on a bed on the floor inside a room that is filled with ants. I just wanted a nicer room for myself and some clothes. But nope. Gotta give you the money now.
Thanks.
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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:06 am
this is less of a rant and more of a moment of reflection.
i was going through my inventories to see what stuff i could sell/how much i was worth in total (XD), and it amazed me to find:
a) the Golden Sparkles and Heavenly Drapes (the Promageddon items for the heaven section) are worth about 10k apiece O_o which makes me wish i had decided to play on my mule so i could sell the extras...
b) the Goti Clips i happily bought last month have apparently dramatically risen in price (from the 175k or so i bought them at to 232k)
c) i could probably sell several of the MCs in my inventory, but they were either gifts or special prizes so i can't bring myself to do so crying
a and c have only served to solidify that i'm a friggin' packrat online and offline gonk hell i can't even go through my anime pictures and i just keep collecting more! i always seem to think "oh, i'll find a use for it eventually", or "this has sentimental value/it looks cool! i can't get rid of it!"
*sigh* i need help. (i don't actually need advice, just a friend who'll help me sort through my stuff whenever i manage to leave the house sweatdrop my brother won't help and my parents will help too much)
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:13 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:44 pm
Wow.
You truly must think highly of yourself if you think i'd waste my tuition to go to a school just to be with you. What do you take me for? A desperate angsty hussy? Get over yourself.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:53 pm
I wish you trusted me, allowed me to grow into who I am. I'm not your chance to relive you life. Just because you ******** up doesn't mean I will too. Let me be!
I want your trust, but you say I am not worth it. How? what have I ever done to harm you in some serious way? I'm not my younger brother STOP ******** SAYING I'M JUST LIKE HIM!! DID I ******** RUN AWAY AND ABANDON MY OWN KIN? NO!! I'M NOT SOME STUPID QUITTER!!!! I'M NOT USELESS, I CAN HOLD MY OWN OUT IN THE WORLD! I'M THE MAN HE WILL NEVER BE!
I have a future, its just not yours to control. Let me be and please, for the love of god, just please trust me...
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Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:29 am
Two.
*bang*
Freaking.
*bang*
Months.
*bang*
It's been two months since my uncle, his girlfriend, and their two dogs moved in. Since then they have completley taken over the kitchen, the basement, and almost the living room. They are rude, nosey, and disrespectful.
Two months of having to hide in my room like a mouse to avoid the two drunken rednecks and the rascist hypochondriac. I can't mow the lawn because I have to worry about being stared at like I'm in a movie or something, which cuts off my only source of earning money(not that there's much lawn left, it's half dead now). I can't sleep because my room is right above them and they're loud. I can barely eat because I'm so stressed out my stomach keeps twisting like I'm going to puke, then I get treated like an anorexic(which I'm NOT.) I've lost weight, so I had to go buy new underwear and start wearing belts, then I've got some nasty loose skin folds because I've been fat my entire life. (Which, by the way, I'm fine with. I'm not obese, and at least I can climb up and down stairs without running out of breath.)
It's been like living in the middle of a warzone because of all the fighting, sometimes I feel like I'm being used like a weapon. I am SICK and TIRED of being told I need to 'toughen up' and 'stand up for myself'. Toughen up? Stand up for myself? How the ******** am I supposed to do that when my childhood was spent being emotionally used like a ******** toy, when every single attempt to stand up for myself was met with threats of being sent to therapy and anger management because no one would bother looking at things from my point of view?
You broke me and made me rebuild myself; it's not my fault if you think I did it wrong.
*headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk*
No advice needed.
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:40 pm
Rant 1: I have to stop drinking so much! I cant use alcohol as a means of avoiding my problems and feelings. I'm 17 years old and every time I have a problem I go straight to the booze cabinet in the house...
Rant 2: My family is back tomorrow and I don't want them home... I'm happy when they are not around because I can actually sit down and relax. When they are around they use me as free labour, I clean up after them, help them when they have trouble with things and look after them when they are sick. But do they do the same for me? NO, they don't.
Rant 3: Our relationship is so... well its getting bland. I love you so much but everyday is the same thing.
1.We hang out at your or my house
2.Then we sit around in my or you room and play games or watch a movie
3.Then you ask for sex
4.After that, we watch T.V or a movie till either of us has to go home
What happened? Where is the spontaneous and fun loving girl I fell in love with? I feel that after we had sex for the first time that It's all we ever really do anymore... I still love you, but can we please mix it up a bit? I know money is tight for both of us but we don't need money to have fun do we? I want to be able to look back a few years from now and remember the fun things we did back then! I don't ever want to hurt you and you know that. ALSO STOP CALLING YOURSELF FAT! YOU ARE IN NO WAY A FAT PERSON AND EVERY TIME YOU SAY YOU ARE IT PISSES ME RIGHT OFF!!!!
Rant 4: Stay the ******** out of my dreams!!! I don't dream very often and when I do I remember everything. I don't need your crap. I don't want anything else to help complicate my life!
If you have any help you can say it
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:26 am
STOP CLEANING MY ******** ROOM, MOM!
I had it perfectly organized to my messy artist standards!
Why the ******** did you have to move my monitor?! It was perfect! I'm scared to put my purse down because of the guiness i have for my friend inside! You DO love to be nosy, but 'oh, that person from the cable company is coming. I'm SO SORRY THE POWER BOX IS IN MY ******** ROOM! I'd rather sleep down here than deal with my siblings. Five or so years with the preppy one hanging off my bunk and not shutting up was more than enough.
But you know. after moving everything to the point where i've lost it, my dvd's my books, my work, i was alright with it.
But then you removed my licorice stash.
That's ******** drawing the line.
NOBODY TOUCHES MY LICORICE BUT ME! I ******** PAID FOR IT! IT'S MY COMFORT FOOD! I eat it every once in a while just for a little treat, but nooo, because of your whole obsession with artificial colours and s**t, that's gone too.
You owe me two bucks for that.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:35 pm
if there's one thing i hate about living where i live, it's that my city's right smack in the middle of Canada's Tornado Alley. severe thunderstorms always make me nervous not for the thunder, lightning or heavy rains, but the chances that a tornado could hit. the most frustrating (terrifying) part is that i didn't even realize that Southern Ontario was so prone to tornados until within the last year or so. you would think i would clue in from all the tornado drills i went through at school, but nope.
so now everytime a storm is stated to go by, i'm nervously watching the weather channel, keeping an eye on updates and seeing where the storm's headed. it's frigging hell on my nerves and latent paranoia, and i hate being so scared. it doesn't help i'm home alone right now, and my brother's off doing who-knows-what who-knows-where with his friends...and even if he was, cripes, i can't admit i'm as scared as i am.
i think i'm going to go find my big Charmander plushie and give it a crushing hug until i feel better.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:22 pm
I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And finally I got up the courage to ask you out.
And all you've done is let me down.
You've had other plans three separate times. And I was willing to believe the first two. I know you didn't want to help your brother move.
But I asked you about this weekend and you're going canoeing? <******** ridiculous.
And you say it's going to happen eventually. Like that's a comfort.
Well, I'm tired of waiting.
Get your s**t together and we'll talk. Until then, I don't want to waste any more of my time with you.
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Second_Crimson Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:35 pm
I helped throw a surprise birthday party for a best friend, who ended up skipping it knowingly, and lying when he said he was going to come. Then laughed in our face when we confronted him and hasn't apologized.
At that same party I had 200+ dollars stolen from my purse by a good friend. I have since gotten the money back, but I will never get that trust back.
One of my best friends was fired from work because she made a suggestion to the manager.
I was going to hang out with this nice guy who I have been talking to, only to find out he's dating one of my friends, who decides that he doesn't want his boyfriend hanging out with me without him present. So apparently my own friend can't trust me around his boyfriend.
And my roommate throws poker nights where this one guy continuously leaves beer bottles on the counter, about a foot away from the trash. I asked roomie who is doing that and if he could get him to stop or I'd have to write a note. Roomie says the guy who's doing it isn't coming. I come home...beer bottles on the counter...guy who wasn't coming is sitting right there. I'm three nervous ticks from kicking him out of my house.
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Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:00 pm
I finally gave that goddamn shirt to a good friend of mine. It's a huge relief, really. I don't have to look at it and get angry anymore.
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