|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:01 pm
*A series of loud noises hail forth from the kitchens as a vile, sulfurous stench and blood-tinged light stream through every doorway.*
*Runs out, slamming the door behind him and panting.*
Okay! That was not supposed to happen!
*Takes a deep breath and grabs a fire poker from the fireplace.*
Wish me luck!
*Dives back into the kitchen. Followed shortly by all manner of wails from who knows what and a jet of foul ichor shoots out of the kitchen.*
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:18 pm
*Places a shifting, snapping cake down while deftly dodging its gnashing teeth.*  Well... It's only partly sentient. Just try to bite it before it bites you... This is what I get for trying to make devil's food cake with actual devils without the necessary precautions...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:28 pm
♦ ♣ ♥ ♠ Happy happy birthday, Lamby ^o^  ♦ ♣ ♥ ♠
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 3:33 pm
A tray of simple, individual-serving confections I call mini-monoliths!A super-dense, 7-sided hypercube (the 7th side is on the inside) of chocolate and nightmares held in by a core of concentrated darkness. If I made it any larger, it would collapse in upon itself and create an event horizon of damnation. Damnation has a slightly nutty overtone with hints of brandy and pear. Try to eat them in one bite, the screaming they do when bit in twain is quite ear-shattering... Also they bleed a lot... Like 200 gallons each a lot...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:12 pm
Wow! Good thing I had a little of the Al Zarathustra cake earlier - just in case... *smacks a small slice of devil's food cake with a prong until it whimpers pathetically*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:59 pm
This is cool. Ex I didnt know you were such a good cook. Freaky, but good. Happy birthday again lamb!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 8:02 pm
^0^ deadly food!? *stuffs it in her face* yummgerous!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:08 pm
From the maddening depths of the void! Pie of Ocular Damnation!
 Made with the choicest fruits of the wailing apple trees that grow along the banks of the Styx. Side effects may include lung cancer, cancers of the mouth and throat, cancers of the esophagus and stomach, colon cancer, liver cancer, Force lightning, vaginal sores, heart disease, emphysema, complications in pregnancy, stillbirth, low birth weight, high birth weight, headless baby syndrome, fetal injury, wearing sunglasses at night, gum disease, tooth loss, impotence, loss of libido, increase in libido, a**l leakage, cerebral hemorrhaging, immaculate conception, stroke, asthma, priapism, blindness, hysteria, uterine explosion, blood pressure imbalances, infertility, sterility, hindered sperm motility, gigantism in sperm, death, ocular bleeding, kidney and bladder stones, desiccation of mammary ducts, profuse sweating, testicular swelling, cloaca disease, hyper-ovulation, formation of cloacae, headaches, X-ray vision, nausea, diarrhea, upset stomach, hemorrhoids, inexplicable fascination with Beanerian music, premature ejaculation, perpetual orgasm disorder, spontaneous bodily combustion, radiation burns, nose bleeds, vomiting, increased menstrual bleeding, ovipositor malformations, abdominal breaches, gigantism, dwarfism, punching children, fetal explosion, growth of additional body structures, bodily malformations, portals in time and space, access to otherspace, ovarian cancer, intense burning sensations, believing Ho'din when they say they are descended from pretty flowers, the Macarena, depression, mania, temporary increase in quantity of hardcoredness to trans-Blue Bear levels, roundhouse kicks to the head, tingling in the extremities, glowing skin, soft tissue swelling, operation of land and repulsor vehicles in a fashion typical of Gary Busey, tendencies towards not letting the Wookiee win, loss of arms, tumors, clogged arteries, constipation, explosive diarrhea, rectal cancer, persistent rectal prolapses, internal bleeding, choking, spontaneous temptations to rush the acquisition and ingestion of one’s rice and curry, mutation of genetic material, turtleneck sweaters on hot days, the Kwisatz Haderach, passage of feces at sufficient pressures or velocities to provide sudden and violent jet-like propulsion, unwanted pregnancy, male pregnancy, inclinations to forcibly remove the ears from gundarks, alopecia, spontaneous albinism, unwanted thoracic eruptions of the immature stages of various animals or sentients, demonic possession, inappropriate glaucoma, sexual innuendo, addiction to Herglic opera, genetic damage, disturbing lack of faith, hiccups, semen being replaced with hydrochloric acid, brain damage, forgetfulness, increased likelihood of reckless behaviors, temporary reduction in white blood cell or analogous cell-structure production, hyperspace-velocity travel via bouts of unexpected flatulence, sad devotions to ancient religions, forgetfulness, hair loss, follicular combustion, beards, thinking cinnamon buns are hair accessories, thinning of chitin or other exoskeleton components, synesthesia, increased risk of infection due to disruption of immunity cells, channeling of Brian Blessed, spontaneous abortion or miscarriage, fatigue, uncontrollable bleeding in the mouth, sub-dermal hemorrhaging, lycanthropy, sensitivity to light and/or sound, changes in sexual preferences, changes in sex, forgetfulness, enlargement of cranium, prescient thoughts or dreams, ability to comprehend the “Blatherings of the Great Jawa,” telekinesis, increased bruising, night-vision, erythema, moist desquamation, necrosis, voice immodulation disorders, inability to conjure up stolen data tapes, development of pancreatic sentience, sexual attraction to dairy products, ability to hover, Force-sensitivity, parasitic infestation, delusions of grandeur, seizures, nudity, bestiality, hippies, intense hunger, vertigo, skin rash, changes in pigmentation, perception of being visited by ghosts or Force-specters, ability to choke high-ranking officers through viewscreens, forgetfulness, swollen lymph glands or buboes, and an increase in the likelihood of the a**s collapsing into a gravity-inversion anomaly or quantum singularity. It has been confirmed to contain up to 5,000 times the lethal dose of benzene, lead, cadmium, antimony, barium, osmium, vanadium, thallium, aluminum, hexavalent chromium, selenium, acenocoumarol, dicumarol, ethyl biscourmacetate, diphenadione, hyperbarides, sulfaquinoxaline, acetylene, acetone, manganese, mercury, beryllium, thorium, uranium, plutonium, nitrosamine, formaldehyde, arsenic, tar, hydrogen cyanide, rodent feces, and live arthropod/gastropod eggs/larva per serving portion. It has also been proven to be highly addictive and may cause extreme cases of withdrawal.
Under no circumstances must the Pie of Ocular Damnation be handled without at least a Class-IV survival suit. If consumed, contact your nearest hazardous materials department and coroner immediately.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 11:00 am
Thank you very much for catering Lamb's party Exxos!! It's much appreciated!! I think I might skip the last pie however... I'm not sure I want to risk contracting the bubonic plague. Now then - I believe the kitchen needs to be cleaned up a bit. If possible it looks (and smells) worse than when the rot bunnies invaded. *gets the hazmat gear out* 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:35 pm
I got so stuffed with all the food! *passes gas* woops sorry about that..
Thx for attending everyone smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 2:43 pm
I hope that you had a good one dude!!
Very creative Exxos.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:52 am
Hope everyone had a good weekend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:13 pm
Gavic Hope everyone had a good weekend. I was working as usual but it was not bad smile I hope you had a nice weekend too smile !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 2:33 pm
None of my captain's hat choices won, but this one has a zany amateur wizard feel to it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 4:16 pm
Exxos None of my captain's hat choices won, but this one has a zany amateur wizard feel to it. I actually voted for the one that won this time. But I like the hat you have on too Exxos.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
