Welcome to Gaia! ::

I think it’s like impossible for me to keep friends who I do not converse with mostly online. X3 I have a very forceful personality, I suppose.

The whole incident with Tyler was my fault. I urged him and Kat to ******** around (TMILOLOLOL) and Tyler took it as a ticket into our relationship; he began placing himself into all of our future plans, and tried to get wrapped up in private mattes between Kat and I, including fights. What was meant as sex without strings with a side of casual dating turned into this big ******** of drama. (My fault, though, because I did not draw any lines thick enough for Tyler to really understand. Roleplaying had kinda poisoned my mind into thinking threesomes worked with ease. They do not. XD) The whole thing kinda ended around Christmas, when I was taking a nap and the two of them woke me up to b***h me out for various things (mostly my having no job) and I stormed out of the house, barefoot (and blind due to my lack of glasses), and walked a zillion miles in the middle of the night to my mother’s house. I called Kat and begged for her to come get me when I reached my mother’s house - my feet were so swollen and blistered I couldn’t walk for weeks. XP But when we got home, Tyler tried to intervene when Kat and I were making amends, and he threw a bowl… it freaked me out and pissed me off, so from that point on I did everything I could to get him to leave. I mean, I was bad - I said every nasty comment I could, played with his emotions… god, I’m so ashamed of it. =/

I did love Tyler. But I think I loved him more as a friend. And I wasn’t mature enough to understand that just because you lust after someone doesn’t mean you actually have to ******** them. (Didn’t learn that lesson until late last year, actually.)

In the end, we were three people who were in the process of finding ourselves (god, Ty was so lost!), struggling with adulthood. Kat and I only recently managed to fully repair our relationship from it, and I pray every night that wherever Tyler is, he’s safe and happy and growing up. Because I regret how violently things ended. I still cry about it occasionally. But I can hope it was for the best, because it taught me so much about myself and about being an adult.

xD You know, a lot of the times I forget that you guys are younger than I am.... not much younger, but still... I always feel like you guys are 26 or something.

... but, that's how life is. You learn stuff, you do lots of s**t you regret, and you learn not to do it again or how to be better. D: Life is life. And life is NEVER as easy as roleplaying, and roleplaying isn't ever easy either. D: We've all learned that lesson. xP

xP I have a very patient personality irl actually. And I really do better when someone is telling me what to do. biggrin xD I just like it like that... takes some pressure off.......... even if I lived at my grandmas for like a year, I'd still do anythign she asked, because I'd have this feeling of being in 'someone else's' place, and I've been raised in a way that..... well I'd pick up, and be neat, not for my own sake, but for theirs. razz

My grandma is coming to stay next week! :O She's gonna help me price stuff for the garage sale. ^_^

*Hugz Naz and Kitty and TY*

That's the best thing about shitty situations though, is growing from it. 3nodding

xP There's so much virtual hugging going on all the time in here. Hehehehe.

You guys are literally the only people I've been friends with for so many years. O_o I was just the person in school who hung out with people I had classes/lunch with, sort of made myself a weird little niche with them, but never did things outside of school. xP I'm ..... well... self-absorbed, I think. 3nodding

8D WE SHALL SHARE OUT BUZINASSES AND SOULS TOGETHAR. <3

xD

.... see... I knew you guys had whips and crazy clothes, that I wasn't just being completely bonkers when I imagined that. XD

I WANT A WAND!

I have a tiny broom? :O

I want to carve myself a wand out of wood, or at least have a go at it. biggrin

D< Picture of you in a skirt, crying, with a ham sandwich in your hand. NOW.

rofl

:B

I wrote a drabble in the livejournal. It's Godfrey/Voldemort. :O

BUT YES GETTING HIRED! biggrin And so what if it's a job you'll hate and it'll suck out your soul? MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gonk

Seriously, Mike, I just want to keep you some place and feed you things you want and spoil you. XD

DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY OR IS IT JUST ME?

Am I being too creepy by the way? O_o

xD I'll spoil you with those, and get you a silk pillow, and then give you cutouts of gigantic pokemon and dinosaurs fighting to put on the walls. xD HELL YES.

xP Mmm.. grilled cheese. xD And I know you don't like sandwiches. xP WHICH IS WHY YOU WOULD BE CRYING! D<

razz Voldy/Godfrey is always odd. xD But yay! biggrin

rofl Actually that sounds pretty good....... biggrin Have you ever sold yours before? How much have you made per piece if you don't mind me asking and if it is so?

D< IT IS A REAL JOB ANYWAYS. Anything that makes money is a real job. razz BECAUSE IF IT WASN'T REAL, THEY'D PAY YOU IN HOPES AND WISHES.

EDIT: BTW I'm tired now so I'm going to sleep! Goodnight! <3

LOL ABOUT THAT HIATUS THING . . . This is when Janine realizes that studying doesn't take much out of a day and she never studies for exams anyway SO TAKING OFF TIME IS USELESS!!! razz

---*replying to random stuff*---

Holy s**t, 200 pounds . . . lost while depressed? That's terrifying. >.> I'm a binge eater when I get depressed, which is why I am like 230498234098 pounds overweight. XD

I need to lose like . . . 120 more pounds or something. I usually never ever ever give out my weight, but since iluguys and you're mah biffles, I started out a little over 317 pounds and a size 28 in November and right now I'm at 260 and a size 20/22. I haven't been able to work out lately so I'm beginning to flatline in my weightloss. xP

I think Jess, Kitty, and Cassy living together would be TERRIFYING. TERRIFYINGLY AWESOME, THAT IS.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF A "BJ'S" BEFORE IN MY LIFE, but I hope you have fun working there, Mike. XD

Michelle graduated on Friday, you guys. And Darrell graduates next week. EVERYONE'S GROWING UP AND I'M NOT READY FOR IT. emo

Darrell's not going to college though . . . he didn't get accepted so he's taking a year off. And he won't go to the local community college because his claims his parents won't let him. confused Which is ******** RETARDED because going to a community college would raise his GPA and make it easier for him to get back into the swing of education. This is why I hate the stuck-up-ness of private school kids . . . anything is better than taking a year off and working at Taco Bell.

I mean, Michelle's going to the community college for two years before going to a regular one . . . It just seems like it'd be such a better choice. IT MAKES ME ANGRUH. *flail* He's smart; he just doesn't apply himself.

So I totally ******** ACED my physics exam on Friday. cool It was basically the only two tests we had this semester stapled together. XD I have English and Spanish III exams on Monday, which should be pretty easy.

I'm really bored, you guys. emo I have nothing to do but study, and my internet's too slow to talk to people, and I can't call up Darrell and bother him cause he's on Senior Survival, which is my own fault. *flail*

See, Senior Survival is like . . . this INTENSE camping/canoeing/hiking/putting-yourself-in-danger trip that the Seniors go on. At first Darrell wasn't going to go, but I convinced him to go by promising I'd "make it worth his while". wink . . . But I don't know HOW I'm going to make it worth his while because I'm sure as hell not giving out sexins.

BUT NOW I'M WITHOUT DARRELL TIL THURSDAY . . . And I have no one to call me cutie kitten until then either! (Yeah, he calls me 'cutie kitten' . . . Long story short; he found out he could make me flustered by complimenting me or calling me pet names so one day he IM'd me saying "snooky wookums cutie kitten sweetie pie" or something like that to be utterly ridiculous, and I told him that it reminded me of a pie full of cute kittens . . . so now I call him sweetie pie and he calls me cutie kitten. I DUNNO. XD)

By the waaaayyyy, Darrell and I have actually legitimately kissed now. wink Multiple times. XD And we've gone to the lovey stage now even though we're just teenagers who don't know what we're getting into, really. heart

So I saw there's a character status thread now . . . I'm really sorry I didn't get that going before, even though I said I would. *kicks self* u_u Sorry . . . I always forget to follow through with things.

Like I'm going to forget to follow through with my "I'll make it worth your while" promise. XD

GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS THAT ARE OF PG-13 NATURE, YOU GUYS? He really likes the X-files, so I was thinking of making him something, but I am plum out of ideas. I toyed around with making a fanvid for him, but sometimes our music tastes clash, so I dunno . . . plus I want to make him something tangible. I can make food, crafts, what have you . . . GOT ANY IDEAS?

You're the age I was when Kat and I hooked up; it's been like four years now. whee heart SO MAYBE YOU DO KNOW. talk2hand

XD I made, like, a really flimsy version to harass Kat about Snape/Virgo-ness. I forgot you even volunteered to make it X3

I suggest something edible. I don't know anything about X-Files or I'd be all like "make this thing as a brownie!" XD

@Mike: Oooh, I can't wait to see it. <3 (And I second the crying-in-a-dress motion! Boytears are pretty. XP)

EDIT: And it's usually pretty likely that you won't last long working somewhere if you hate the manager from day one. Be cautious. Keep sending in applications; you can dump this job when you get another offer.

@Cassy: 26? Really? XD I feel like I'm 30 on certain subjects, but otherwise I feel like 16 most of the time. XP

IF WE DO MEET IRL YOU WILL TOTALLY DO EVERYTHING I ASK, BEECH. I AM MISTRESS NAZZEH AND I AM SRS BZNSS. scream

That's good that your grandmother is coming. heart

You guys are the longest I've ever been friends with people and not ******** them or stopped speaking to them or both. CONGRATULATIONS LAWL. xd heart

Seriously, though. Love you. <3

Yeah, I figured it was like Sam's Club. :D

Yay sexy sleepover. heart I HAVE A QUESTION BUT I WON'T ASK IT. xp

I haven't watched Farscape. I actually had to just look it up on Wikipedia. But it looks very interesting. 3nodding