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 Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:28 am
An almost bemused expression resting on his face, Zix watched Tea rather space out, still watching him, which was amusing in its own right. He would have thought Tea would have leapt at the chance to ditch him. But then again, he did seem like the type who would have a strong sense of duty, and since he'd already said he would take Zix back to the morgue...
So this was obligation. That was all. Not any sort of...of hospitable charity towards Zix.
Somehow, he should have expected that.
Sighing, he pulled himself up off the wall, relieved at least to have some semblance of normality back. Right. Never, ever again walk this hallwaycorridorthing. Nope. Won't do it. Not even if the flames of hell were behind him, and this was the only way to salvation. Zix rather thought he'd like to burn than go through that again with Zanis. Not only was it awkward, but the feelings his body held were too strong. It just would be bad if they ever came near each other again. Hell, if they even talked to one another, it'd probably become a game of phone sex, simply because their bodies remembered each other so well.
That was not a pleasant train of thought. They. Were. Over.
He had yet to convince his body of that.
Stupid body.
"Yeah," he said, sighing a little wearily. That just took it's toll, walking away. Again, stupid body. "The morgue. And after I suppose you'll vanish, right?" Vanish and never be seen by the likes of Zix again, which Tea would probably appreciate and Zix would not. A necromancer/morgue keeper didn't oft have friends, even friends who weren't in a relationship. Even aquaintences might be nice every now and then --Nt Zanis-- but nooo, people didn't invite him to anything, unless it was to a meeting or an audit session with the IRS.
And after meeting with such wonderful --sarcasm-- living people, he was going to be surrounded by dead guys. Normally, this prospect was rather endearing, especially after a meeting with a bunch of brainless idiots who couldn't find a person's heart with their eyes open, dead or alive, and on those days being in the quiet chill of the morgue with its gentle shuffling of dead people walking around was a nice, pleasant safe propect. It kept him from ripping stupid people's heads off.
But today...well, he didn't mind so much vanishing away frm Zanis, but...there was a definate nagging feeling that he was going to regret having Tea vanish away too. After all, his mind chimed in happily, he rather liked Tea.
Didn't help that Tea hated him.
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 9:35 am
He saw that.
Tea saw that Zix --again, a stupid name-- saw him spacing out, and he wasn't much too pleased about the realization. He.. What the heck was wrong with him? He shouldn't be spacing out at all because a/ they were maybekindof in a middle of some semblance of conversation and b/ he hates the man's guts. So he should.. he shouldn't even have been associating with him after all in the first place but the whole 'oh-good-I'll-just-kill-him' plan hadn't worked out --as is everything in Tea's life-- and.. and something happened and now he was walking Zix back to his real actual office.
Definitely coming down with something.
And Tea knew he had said that he would take Zix back to his office, but it wasn't entirely obligatory. Tea could have just left him kindofmaybe going slightly insanecrazywhatever in the hallway when he had the chance because Zix asked him if he wanted to and he could have left and that would have been that, never seeing each other again. Well, apart from Tea looking up Zix's timetable and memorizing it so they would never, ever meet.
But he had said yes.
"The morgue. And after I suppose you'll vanish, right?"
"......" The tanned male glanced over his shoulder again, a somewhat surprised glimmerthing flashing slightly past his eyes at the other's bluntness. ...Well, that was direct. Not.. Not that it wasn't his fault, because there was that nagging feeling again that Zix definitely knew about the secret ultimate plan for his demise --which had not gone well-- and.. and somehow the whole business of the other man kindofmaybe going crazy --can people actually do that just like that?-- and now him sounding really flat and blunt..
Tea couldn’t help thinking that it was maybepartially his fault.
"After playing nanny, I am going to go get food." Wait. Why was he telling Zix this? He could have just said 'Yes, I'm vanishing away for good because I hate you and you probably hate me too for trying to kill you so bye.' and he could have just gone straight after he took the other to the stupid morgue except that was not what had come out of his mouth and it sounded more like some kind of invitation or something because it did actually give Zix the opportunity to say he'll come with him but why would he? It wasn't like he was particularly in good spirits, and Tea had tried to kill him right? He did know that, right?
The corner of his lips twitched slightly, which the assistant smoothed down carefully before the other could notice. Zoning out, random talking, mind not in control of mouth? Definitely coming down with something. Tea steadily ignoredavoided looking at the necromancer. "But before that, we're stopping by at my room first." Because this may be his life's work and worth more than Zix's or anyone else's life in the entire facility, it was still heavy and a b***h to carry around.
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:14 pm
A very very small quirk of his lips was all the sign that he had heard Tea say 'playing nanny'. Honestly, playing nanny? What did he think this was, some sort of child-leading excursion? Honestly, nanny? That...that word just didn't appear to fit Tea's personality at all.
Ah well, laughing out loud at the word coming from Tea's mouth probably wouldn't make the assisstant hate him any more than he already did. Not that he was going to laugh. For all he knew, laughing at seemingly nothing might make Tea whirl on him and stick a scalpel between his ribs. Didn't everybody carry scalpels in a place like this...?
His thoughts spiraled back down at the sound of two words he recognized with sharp clarity.
His room...? A part of Zix's mind made a lewdly excited comment, and he was about to spill it, except some sort of filter slammed in between his brain and the words. A good thing, too, because who knew what Tea might do if he said something perverted and stupid. Tea had already tried to 'dispose' of him, and that was just minutes after they had met. Zix didn't even know what he had done in that short amount of time to make the assisstant was to get rid of him, but it was obviously something big.
"..." He paused, took the open-ended statement about the food as a question, and jumped in running. "Can I come with? For the food, I mean." He was pretty sure that he hadn't eaten for a few days, and while his metabolism wasn't so bad that he needed to eat every few hours to survive, he also knew that he had probably burned away any fat that might have been on his body, and muscles were soon to come. And he had seen to many little experiments eaten from the inside out because they had starved to death, and he did not want to even think about becoming one of those sorts of corpses.
"You can always say you have no idea who I am and that's we're just going in the same direction, if you like," the necromancer offered blandly, shrugging, though he was pretty sure the other didn't see because he was still off walking down the hall not facing Zix. "Just so you won't have to admit that someone you totally hate is following you."
...he had not meant to say that. Stupid. Stupidstupidstupid! He could have just been shot down and left their whatever-uneasy relationship --relationship? what relationship?-- as it was and it would have been fine so why had he said that?
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 7:12 pm
It...hurt a lot than he would have first expected.
Stitching himself up, that was. Oh, sure, Zanis had of course felt the needle slip through the flesh, but for some reason there wasn't a pin pricky sort of feeling like he had expected there to be. Or maybe there was and the murky sort of swirling uneasiness inside of him was covering the pricky pin pain so he couldn't feel it. Because it kind of maybe felt like that one time he had fallen through the ice, where most of his body had felt numb and competely not under his control. Only...only it was a little different, because he could feel his body, but it was like...he couldn't feel it. Like maybe he was sort of...dangling outside his body while inside his body...or something like that.
It didn't make much sense, did it?
But right now, there were quite a few things that didn't make sense. Like why Zix was here and why Zix had come to his office and why Butter wasn't leaving yet like he should be and why this bubbling feeling was hurting so much and it tasted kind of like campfire smoke and just generally bad and why was he feeling anything? He was normally so good at not feeling anything except glee and a sort of sadistic happiness when he was hurting someonesomething else. He was so good at blocking everything else out. So why couldn't he do it now?
Was it because of Zix's sudden arrival?
Or was it Butter?
Almost violently, he stabbed the needle through his palm, glaring down at the bloody sort of cuts when it didn't hurt. It should, and there was no doubt in his mind that sooner or later this craptackular sewing job was going to come back and haunt him and hurt the hell out of his hand --every time he flexed his hands, for instance-- but right this moment, the actual act of stitching the flesh back together, he didn't feel a thing.
And that worried him.
Except for that one time with the ice, he had always been so very conscious of his body, partly because it was so different from both his peers and his family, and partly because everyone else seemed to notice his body so he should be aware of it too. So even when it was just the lightest of touches, he could always feel it, could always tell if someone was near just because they were invading his personal space and he didn't like that. But...but now there was this utter, slightly scary lack of consciousness and even though he knew he was still in his body there was this sudden sort of unconscious sort of feeling and it was scary. And he didn't like it.
It was a little more worrying that he had felt more...alive with Butter than he had ever felt in his life.
And Butter...would leave...
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 9:03 pm
Tea knew the word didn't suit him and it would never will; he hated little children--of whom there seemed to be numerous and endless whenever he had gone back for a proper family occasion-- and he had always thought that humans should never, ever procreate at all, much to the chagrin of his mother. Not.. Not that he had told her, exactly. Just.. just 'I'm-not-getting-married-never' and that had been a roaring success which brought out mass fainting and a storm of tears lasting for a full three days. Maybe that was one of the reasons that he'd had more interest in males than of the opposite sex.
..Tea had absolutely no intention of telling any of his family that though. No, not in a thousand years.
And since Zix was just as obnoxiously annoying and loud and dirty and.. and just so aggravating as children to Tea --even though some of the qualities in the previous remark were yet to be justified-- it.. it almost counted as being a nanny sort of maybe personthing. To Tea, that is. Even though.. Even though Zix was --a gut feeling-- considerably older than himself.
"..." His step faltered slightly, a sortofmaybehard curse bubbling up inside him and threatening to slide out from between his lips as Tea's eyes again slid back to meet the other's form. That did it. Tea really was unlucky. But then, it was his fault for --kindofmaybe-- inviting Zix, but still, he shouldn't have said anything and now he didhad and everything was going spiralling out of control and Tea didn't like not being in control because it meant unstableness and.. and Tea didn't like it--!
"Y--" The assistant opened his lips, about to maybekindof agree --whywhywhywhywhy? he was going crazy he knew it-- but the next words out of the necromancer's mouth silenced him. Someone you totally hate.
And he did. He hated Zix.
Tea snapped his mouth shut, eyeslipsface flashing slightlyblazing with the familiar blazecrackle of annoyanceanger that had somehow maybe faded slightly. But why would it, why?
"...whatever." He wouldn't agree, wouldn’t say anything.
Because he hated Zix.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:54 am
"..." Ah. See? He had been right. Tea did hate him. Somehow...somehow, even though he had suspected it, it hadn't really clicked until just now. Maybe because he hadn't gotten any confirmation until just now. But the lack of verbal affirmation was a better confirmation than Tea just outright saying he didn't...or he did. Even a slight denial would have been vaguely appreciated, no matter how false the words were.
Somehow, having Tea's hatred for him realized made him incredibly sad.
He sighed, staring woodenly back at Tea's steps hesitated slightly...and then gave a sort of wishy-washy 'I-really-don't-care' sort of answer. Even though he did care, Zix knew he did, because he had just not-really said he hated Zix and if you hate someone why in the world would you give a wishy-washy answer like that?
"Look, if you don't want me to come, just say it." A short, sharp syllable and everything could move on. Instead of this staggering sort of whatever feeling mixing and swirling with the hate waves he thought he could almost feel coming off of the younger man. And then Zix would know, okay, Tea never wanted to see his face again, okay, he could deal with that. Living in the morgue wasn't like living near the main cluster of the lab. Noone came to the morgue, and all dead bdies were left outside on gurneys, so even if they did it wasn't like they came in anyway. So avoiding Tea would be easy if he just said that was what he wanted.
But nooo, he had to go off and spout some wishy-washy answer that made Zix think perhaps he wasn't hated quite so much, because really, if you abslutely hated someone wouldn't you let them know? But Tea hadn't, so maybe...
It was stupid to let his hopes get too high.
Tea hated him. If he let his hopes get to high...
...it would just hurt all that much more when he fell.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:37 am
...'if you don't want me to come, just say it.'
And he didn't want Zix to come. Because Zix was annoying and.. and just annoying and that aurabrightness was still there still blidingannoyingflashingbright and Tea hated it because.. because he just hated people with such brightcheerfulthing aura like that because.. because it was just annoying and distracting and Zix was most certainly more than distracting and.. and so Tea hated him--!
He had never needed a reason to hate other people. So why was he starting now and thinking things going around in circles? Why did he need a reason now? He had never ever needed anything like that. It was just 'I hate you' and Tea would, and nothing was going to ever change that.
Somehow, that thought made him more aggravated.
And why hadn't he just said 'No-you-can't-come-because-I-hate-you' and just left Zix alone left him alone because that's what he always did with.. with people with people he hated so why hadn't he just said it now? He was definitely sick. Or just all the stress was coming down on him at once and Tea would have a breakdown. But he couldn't because Zix was there and he maybekindofreally hated Zix so having a breakdown in front of him won't do, not ever.
"--You," Tea stopped and fixed the other male with an irritated gaze, lips set in a sortoftight sortofannoyed line. "You.. are so annoying!" There. He had said it. He normally didn't tell people that they were annoying. They just assumed naturally that Tea didn't like them and moved away accordingly. That was what they did, and that was the way Tea liked it because he didn't care what they thought he thought. But somehow.. somehow there was this feeling that maybe he didn't exactly want Zix to think he hated him.
He did, just more as an annoying way.
But he still did hate him.
"Stop assuming things." The assistant muttered, realizing that they had stopped outside his room --why hadn't he noticed that? Things were slipping by without notice; not a good sign-- and wordlessly thrusting the stack of his life's workreportpaperthing which suddenly didn't seem so much importantsomething --what the hell was happening?-- into the other man's chest, dark eyes flickerflashing sharply as they met the grey ones. "You can come. If you want. I don't care."
And now he should totally ignore him and his pulsingannoyingbright aurathing and search for his keys.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:54 am
He.. He wanted to not feel again.
He wanted to fall back into the darkness and sleep and let the cold take over him again and.. and just sleep. Because sleep had always taken away everything, all his memories all the warmth all the feelings all of it everythinganything, even.. even hurting and smoothing it out smoothing the red streaksburnsrawredwelts out all back to deadcoldpalewhite again. And Butter so wanted to stop hurting and he couldn’t stop it because it was an inside kind of hurt, so.. so if he slept, then it would go away, right? Because everything eventually went away after a while and left Butter all emptynothing again and it would all be fine because it wouldn’t hurt if it went away.
Like what Zanis was doing.
That thought brought out another lurchwave of pain inside right there right.. right there inside his chest and he didn't know why because.. because he knew that his insides weren't warm, they had been always cold always dead and why was it suddenly all hurtingburningwarm why?!
Butter wanted to sleep. But.. but at the same time, he didn't. Because sleeping could mean anywhere between half a day to another few decades and.. and there was no guarantee that Zanis would be herethere when he woke up because Zanis didn't like him didn't want him because he was nothing and.. and of course he didn't like him because Butter was dead and.. and Zanis was living so it was all wrong so wrong in the first place so he couldn't--
What couldn't?
The zombie raised his head --it had dropped to studying the blood drops on the floor-- and silentlymutely watched the other stab his hand to bits more than sewing it, his movement so very violent and.. and so unlike the carefulniceneat stitching that he had so perfectly executed on Butter's arm. The pale eyes slid over the doctor's face again, over the dark hair and the pale skin and the flashingangry yellowgold eyes and.. and Butter didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave Zanis he couldn’t because.. "--I'm not going."
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 6:13 pm
It was getting better, very much better than it had been. Because…it felt so much nicer and safer and warmer and safe than it had before, and now there was the added assurance that Yamagawa loved him and wasn’t just playing with him with the kisses and everything. Which was a very good thing, very…very relieving. And safe. Had he mentioned how safe hearing Yamagawa say those words had made him feel? Still made him feel right this second. And Yamagawa kept repeating over and over that he wouldn’t leave, never ever go and that was even safer and it was good to hear those words, that assurance because…it was just good.
A slight --veryveryslight-- sort of good shivery sort of feeling traipsed down Kiba’s spine at the feel of Yamagawa’s lips against his fingers. It felt good, good and nice and everything and all things and it was good so he…he just didn’t want to let go, never ever move because right here right now was so nice. Even though he knew that any moment now he was probably going to ruin this wonderfulperfectlovelywarmsafe moment by saying something stupi--
“Now what?” he questioned softly, eyes sliding shut and just letting himself breathe in the reassuring scent of Yamagawa. In comes the stupid, moment-ruining question... “What so we do now…?” Because there was them and they were returning to sort of good sorts of feelings, but there was Chou-chan and Zanis --how could he have forgotten them?-- and they had to be dealt with and worried about and he was also kind of wondering what exactly Yamagawa wanted from a relationship with him. Sure, they both confessed and admitted their love for each other. But what did that mean?
Not that he wanted to move right now. It was warm and safe being all wrapped up against Yamagawa right now and he didn’t want to lose that. But…but the immediate future did need to be worked out, because they couldn’t stay on the floor all bloody --and warm, his mind supplied-- forever, no matter how nice the prospect of staying here forever with Yamagawa sounded. It sounded reaaaaally nice, but…but they had responsibilities, and…and they had to follow through with them and they couldn’t just leave Chou-chan alone, not in a place like this, no matter how selfish he wanted to be right now and just keep Yamagawa all to himself.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:23 pm
Assuming...? What was he assuming? Tea hated him, it practically oozed out of him, so what was there to assume? Oh, sure, maybe it was an annyance sort of hatred, but it was still a hatred. Honestly, what else was he supposed to say? He wasn't assuming a damn thing, because really, Tea was so easy to read when he disliked someone. And he clearly disliked Zix.
Of course, Tea probably disliked everyone...
He took the bundle of papers with good grace, letting out a sort of soft oomph as the pack of papers hit his chest and attempted to collapse a lung. Funny, he didn't remember the papers being so...so heavy when he had been reading them --scanning them-- earlier. Maybe they, like...multiplied, or something. Or...or just...hey, maybe Tea had some already before he snatched back the papers Zix had been holding. That might explain it...
A small, rather amused smile slid over the necromancer's face, and his eyes glittered some. "Annoying...? I get that quite a lot." At least Tea wasn't being wishy-washy about that. It was good, too, to see Tea kind of...explode like that...or explode as much as Tea would probably allow himself. It just made the Italian all the more adorable for it.
"Neee..." He hesitated slightly, then shrugged. Eh, why not ask? The worst that could happen was Tea getting more pissed at Zix than he already was. "Why are you so...irritated about it?"
Why was Tea getting so snappy about it? Tea could just say go away and he'd do it. Hell, Zix would probably shoot himself in the foot if Tea asked, simply because Tea was cute and cute people should be happy and not perpetually annoyed like Tea was. It just wasn't healthy to be annoyed all the time, people needed to let loose a little and enjoy life. And if he was allowed, he wanted to help.
Plus...Tea might be really fun to know if he just let his guard down and opened up a little.
Maybe...
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:28 pm
A slight humming broke the relative silence in the corridor, along with a soft scuffing sound of boots--light soled and shiny silver beads down the side; quite unpractical unless indoors, but then, he never had any reason to go outside and even if he wanted to, they wouldn't let him out anyway. He was much too precious for them, even as being a male. Besides, Elis didn't want to ruin his shoesbootsthingwhatever. They were nice and.. and shiny, which was a doubly good thing, and also they were a present from someone he couldn't-quite-remember. Someone who had worked here.. hum, a decade ago? Nice boots, really. He only wore them when he was feeling special, and this was definitely a special day.
Because there were shiny things all over the floor.
The reptilian crouched down, strands of dark hair falling down into his face as he bent forward and gently pushed his finger into the middle of the shiny powdery mound piled on the side of the corridor, inspecting the glittery thing --some sort of weird fragmentthing; makeup?-- carefully when it came off silverbrightrainbow on his fingertip and coating it almost entirely in the bright mirror-like powder. It was definitely shiny.
And Elis wanted it.
The problem was actually finding something to scoop up all the goodshinyglitterness and take it back to his room where there were more shinyglittery things, and.. and it would be good because it would be shiny. Heh, maybe he could cover his walls with this stuff if he had some kind of glue or something.. He looked around; no-one was or was about to appear on any side of the corridor for some time. If not, he could.. he could just pretend to be a cleaner, or something. It would work out.. eventually.
And besides, it wasn't like he was lying to them or anything. He was cleaning the glittershinygoodness up. To take back to his room. Where it would be properly appreciated.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:52 pm
Another dark glaring sort of look --I-don't-doubt-it-- was all Tea gave in return to the amused smilethingwhatever that Zix showed--Really, what was there to be smiling about? This guy was so seriously nuts. Or cracking. Or.. or just annoying which he was but it was just so bright and annoying and.. and irritating because Tea's eyes kept sliding over to the necromancer and it was utterly distracting to even have Zix there because Tea could practically feel the oozing brightnesswhatever and.. and it was annoying..!
Tea had realized that he probably didn't make much sense. But then, his headache was still there and Zix was still there so he is going to blame the other for his headache too. Just because he could. And.. and just because. And he would do his damndest to not give any kind of straightforward answer and just lay everything in front of the other for Zix to solve.
Maybe that was why a sort of half-amused half-smirkingsomethingsmile flitted across Tea's lips for the briefest of moments at the soft noisething that the necromancer made as he turned around to fit the key in the lock. Hey, it was heavy. And it wasn't his fault that he maybekindof knocked some breath out of the other. If he hadn't taken it Tea would probably have had already finished labeling it and posting it, and he could have had a nice milky sweet coffee and maybe had lunch. Alone.
The lock clicked open under his hands and the assistant maybejustkindofalittle hesitated before opening the door, revealing a smallish darkish but comfortable looking room and breathing in the smell of the crisp dry brown sort of old books along with the faint remainder of his morning mint tea. Hm. He should buy some more, while he was thinking about it. It was a b***h in the morning when he couldn't get any, and it really wouldn't do to have him even more irritable. Even Tea himself knew that.
Turning once more, Tea brushed away the curly locks of dark hair fallen into his eyes, and merely pursed his lips at the question. Why is he so irritated about it? Why? Because annoying was just that, annoying, and annoying people tended to disrupt anything and everything and it was usually Tea who suffered from their.. their annoying incompetence and just the general air of brightness. Even though Zix at the moment technically didn't really count as being bright, but.. but he was still annoying. Tea didn't quite know the reason, but he was and nothing could ever change that. Ever.
"..." But how could he explain that to someone like Zix? At one glance Tea could tell that he was those kind of people who were just too loose and carefree and.. and whatever other optimistic words there were that he couldn't think up at the moment. But that was enough. Zix was way way too.. too unrestrained in his voice, in his emotions anythingeverything and that sort of freedom thing just annoyed Tea. But how could he explain that? "..You're just too.." Tea caught himself, one hand on the doorknob tightening slightly. His eyes flickered over the other's face again, the dark gaze unreadable. "You're just too open."
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:17 pm
Okay...Okay, Chou did nt want to be in this office anymore. He...he was kindof happy, maybe, that Yamagawa-sama and Kiba-san were all...all clingy like that --it seemed familiar...-- but...but they were jumping from happy to sad to panicked to scared to notsobadanymore and...and it was just too many emotions going all over the place and it just didn't work. Chou was slipping between Dark Chou and Bright Chou simply from the atmosphere in the room, and...and he needed to leave, because too much flipping like that wasn't very good at all and it was...it was just baaad...
Completely unnoticed --Chou wasn't sure if anything would have really disturbed those two-- the faerie stood, taking one last, blessed breath of nice cool air before taking a step away from the open window, immediately feeling a sheen of sweat sprout on his brow. Stupid...stupidness, stupid heat, stupid...office...
A few quick, heavy-stepped footsteps, a few meters that felt like molasses, and he was at the door. One last slightly-worried glance was spared to the two doctors, before the door slipped open just enough for him to slide through, going out into the beautiful coolness of the hallway. And it was so nice out here, not like in there where the atmosphere was so horrid and it was just hot besides.
Wiping at his face with his sleeve, Chou took a step into the hall, letting his wings spread and quiver slightly. All that crouchinghuddling under the window in attempt to block out the nasty feelings --didn't help much-- had made his wings feel all rumbled and...and not stretched, so just letting them spread out was nice.
And besides, he felt much better out here, too, so it was nice. Because it was so cool out in the hall.
The happy feelings sending a thin spray of glitter fluttering to the floor.
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:06 pm
The stabbing momentarily paused at the three simple words, utterly taken aback. Butter...wasn't going? Why? Simple logic should have dictated that Butter left, because didn't people always do that when caught between two people like Butter kind of had been? Even though there was nothing between him and Zix, it had looked like there was, and considering he had just been kissing Butter when the necromancer had come in, it didn't look good. Anyone else would have stormed out without even thinking about waiting for an explanation.
Then again...
Butter wasn't exactly 'anyone else', was he?
For one, he was dead. And as a general rule, dead people didn't feel much in the way of angerhatejealousy, so really, what reason would Butter have to storm out? There were no feelings Butter had that would make him feel any sort of need to storm out. Of course, at the same time, it meant that there were no feelings to want to make him stay either, no like or want or anything. It was probably just because this was familiar...or something. He didn't know how zombie mentality worked --had never needed to know before now-- but...but that was probably it.
Because Butter wouldn't want to stay. Butter didn't feel anything for Zanis.
Ignoring the slight tickling sort of feeling on the back of his neck --if he ignored it, maybe he could make his scales retreat, because really, there was no need to feel any sort of defensive-- he turned to partly face Butter, resuming the violent stabbing sort of stitching. "...why?" What reason could Butter possibly have to stay? It wasn't like Zanis had exactly been a wonderful sort of hsot or anything. So why would Butter want to stay? Surely there were other places the zombie could linger? Not that he wanted to get rid of Butter --bad idea-- but there were probably just...better places Butter could be instead of here, because why would Butter want to be here instead of somewhere else?
Like Zix's! the annoying little voice in the back of his mind chirped. Maybe not a voice, exactly, but perhaps a feeling, that same feeling he'd had so long ago when it had still been them, and now that Zix was here, that feeling was coming out of hibernation and wanting to go back. Not that he could, not with Zix. Zix had his riffraff little assisstant thing, and Zanis...
...wel, Zanis had thought he had had Butter. Only he didn't, because Butter felt nthing, not even hate or fear or anything. And Kiba had been stolen away by that redhead --hewilldie-- so for Zanis that left...
...noone. Because noone wanted to be with Zanis.
And that idea hurt, somehow, right now. Never had before, but it did...now...
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Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:30 pm
Why?
That was.. that was strange. Because Butter didn't even know it himself either, why he was staying and why he wasn't going away because so obviously Zanis wanted him to go away so he should go and.. and just go to sleep and never ever wake up because it hurt just too much insidehurting.. it was strange, and.. and Butter wasn't sure if it was right or wrong to feel this kind of burning in his insides because.. simply because it was strange and it shouldn't happen he shouldn't feel it but.. but it did and now he was so terribly confused..!
And.. It was a feeling, a strange feeling a strange memory of a feeling and Butter didn't even know couldn't even remember howwhatwhy it was like this, what had been like why had he felt the strangeaching burning inside. All he knew was that it hurt, it hurt so much tearingburning at his insides when he saw the necromancerpersonthingwaker --he didn'tcouldn't even remember the name-- had come so close to him close to Zanis and.. and they had kissed and it was maybejustmaybe better, better than it washadbeen when he had kissednotkissed Butter because Butter was dead and Zanis.. Zanis wasn't and it was wrong. It.. It just was...
"Because it hurts." The zombie blinked, the slow mechanical motion of it sweepinghiding away the flashflicker of somethingnothing reflected in the milky blank white eyes. A hand --the tornshakinghurtingburning one-- rose up to lay awkwardly softlywonderingly over his chest over his heart, feeling the dull slow uneven thudding of the organ. Flick of eyes and whitepale met brightgoldenyellow again, Butter's words kindofsomehow hangingfloating emptily in the space stretched between them. Another sharppainthing. Too much space, too far.
"But.." A quiet, dry rasping breath in, another methodical mechanical blink. "But with you.. It.. It doesn't hurt so much. It's.. It's strange." He added, almost surprised sort of tone in his voice, the other hand tightening where it was resting in his lap. Strange. It was strange..
"--so I'm staying."
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