Welcome to Gaia! ::

Europe even wears high heeled boots. XD

That is terrible. You are terrible. But now that I am looking at it that way. XD

Um, that's the point. Niger sounds like ******. And coincidentally is also shaped like a fried chicken drumstick.

Also

Okay, here's the first chapter. Sorry if it's kinda lame, I'll be working on things as I go. It'll be on my Journal as well, so you can go there to read it anytime:

THE MARVELOUS MISADVENTURES OF LoA IN POKEMON BLUE

CHAPTER ONE: The Rock, Paper, Scissors of Great Justice

Oak: "Hello there!"

LoA: "Hello Prof. Oak, you old gasbag, you!" mrgreen

Oak: "Welcome to the world of Pokemon! My name is..."

LoA: "Yes, I already know what your name is, Oak. I'll just call you Gasbag because you're old."

Oak: "WHAT? Why you little shi-"

LoA: "Your introduction, please. We're wasting time."

Oak: "I...*fumes*...fine! People call me the Pokemon PROF!"

LoA: "YOU? A PROFESSOR? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Oak: "Okay, since you're obviously too much of a stuck up brat to listen to my articulate and educational speech about our world, I'll just skip and ask your name instead."

LoA: What is my name? Why my name is....LoA

Oak: "What does that stand for?"

LoA: "Lord of Armageddon..."

Oak: *mutters to self* "Hmm, it might be dangerous to entrust creatures of great power to him. But he's a kid, what harm could he do?"

LoA: twisted

Oak: "Anyway, take a look at this picture."

LoA: "Who's this peckerhead?"

Oak: "This 'peckerhead' happens to be my grandson, a*****e. He's been your rival ever since you were a baby. He is name is...aw, ********, Alzheimer's is kicking in again. Hmm...what was his name, again?"

LoA: "So this douchebag's been my rival ever since I've been a baby, huh? Well I remember his name perfectly! His parents named him
Queef...with an "e" at the end, so people would know they weren't messing around."

Oak: "That's it! I remember now! His name is Queefe!"

Queefe: "....I...hate...both of you."

Oak: "LoA! Your very own Pokemon Legend is about to unfold!"

LoA: "Really? Okay, so long as it doesn't include Sarah Palin."

Oak: "Oh, don't worry. She lives in Sinnoh."

LoA: "Boy, do I feel sorry for the people who live there."

Oak: "Yeah, I hear ya. Anyway, blah blah blah, shrink down to a sprite and head outside."

LoA: "SWEET. See ya soon.""
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*LoA wakes up and heads downstairs*

LoA: "Hi, hooker...I mean...Mom."

Mom: "Okay, you're now 11 years old. Get the ******** out of my house."

LoA: "Gee, reminds me of graduating high school. Bye!”

*walks outside*

LoA: "Gee, that batch of tall grass looks like fun. I think I'll go waltz casually into it, discarding all common sense that would say that the grass contains creatures that could kill me."

Oak: “Hey, wait! Don’t go out into the tall grass!”

LoA: “BUT I WANNA!!!!” crying crying

Oak: “It’s unsafe! Wild Pokemon live in the tall grass! You’ll need your own Pokemon for protection. Fortunately for you, I’ve got three starter Pokemon you can choose from!”

LoA: “Oh alright, gasbag, I'll go get a starter Pokemon!” biggrin

Oak: “ stare ...You know, I could just let you get mauled to death in there…”

LoA: “True, but then you’d have several lawsuits on your hands for neglecting the safety of a minor.”

Oak: “Where in this entire metagame are you gonna find a lawyer?”

LoA: “Good point...you let 11-year olds wander the world completely alone and you have free healthcare. No ******** way there are any lawyers around here.”

Oak: “Oh, let’s just go to the lab!”

*follows old gasbag professor to lab*

Queefe: “Gramps! I'm fed up with waiting!”

LoA: “Your mom probably was as well.”

Queefe: "What was that?!"

LoA: "You heard me... cool "

Oak: “Enough, both of you! Now, LoA, here on my table are three Pokeballs”

LoA: “Why? You lose yours?”

Oak: “SHUT THE ******** UP! Pokeballs contain Pokemon!” stressed

LoA: “Gee, what a downer, huh?

Oak: “*grits teeth*…anyway. There are three Pokemon to choose from. I used to have a lot more because I was a SERIOUS trainer in my youth. No, really, I was."

LoA: “Riiight…alright, I’ll choose one.”

*walks up to table*

LoA: “Okay, the moment of truth... Bulbasaur, Squritle, or Charmander? Bulbasaur will be effective against the first two gyms and most of Team Rocket, but it's final evolution is ******** butt ugly. Squritle will help against that one douche who flirts with girls but gets his a** handed to him by Misty, Max, or Croagunk, but Squritle is for Owwin's; I'm not an Owwin or a Kuz or a Reg, I AM AN LoA. Charmander won't work well with the first two gyms, but that's the challenge behind it. Plus, Charizard kicks a**!

My inner fanboy demands I choose Charmander, but I must quell my inner fanboy...I shall choose...the ugly...plant...thingy...saur.”

Queefe: "In that case, I'll take Charmander."

LoA: stare .................I'll kill you one day.

Oak: “Okay, you’ve both chosen your starters. Now get out of my lab before I call the cops.”

LoA: “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

*starts out the door*

Queefe: “Not so fast, LoA! Let’s have a battle.”

LoA: “You want me to ignore your grandfather’s threat to call the cops so I could kick the everloving s**t out of your Charmander? ….sure, I’m game!”

*BATTLE START*

Queefe: "Alright, Charmander, let's burn that little ******** to he - wait, you don't know any fire attacks?

Charmander: "CHARMANDER CHAR!! (Of course not, doichbag, I'm only level 5. LEVEL 5!!!)"

Queefe: "Well, do SOMETHING!"

*CHARMANDER used GROWL*

Oak: "Hey, Queefe, are my Pokemon amazing or what?"

Queefe: "GO ******** AN OVEN, GRAMPS!

LoA: “Oh, God, this is SO not totally ripping off some Canadian cartoonist right now.”

Bulbasaur: “BULBA BULBA (Okay, so this lizard dude ain’t all that. What should I do?)”

LoA: “Make like a football player and tackle it like no tomorrow.”

*BULBASAUR and CHARMANDER b***h-fight using TACKLE and SCRATCH respectively*

*CHARMANDER fainted! LoA defeated Queefe! LoA threatened $175 out of Queefe to pay for lab damages!*

Queefe: “********! Okay, I’ll make my Pokemon fight to toughen it up! LoA!

Gramps! Smell you later!”

LoA: “Whoa, dude, it was him, not me.”

Queefe: “IT’S MEANT TO BE A ‘GOODBYE’!”

LoA: “Then say ‘goodbye.’ Don’t say something so ambiguously gay.”

Queefe: “Goodbye.”

LoA: “That’a boy!”

Queefe: “AAAAUUUGGHH! *storms out of lab*

Oak: “Well, congradulations, you have won your very first Pokemon battle…at least, the first one of this playthrough. I’m pretty sure you’ve played this game an uber amount of times already. Anyway, like I said, get the ******** out of my lab before I call the cops!”

LoA: “Sweet. I’m outta here. Bye, Gasbag!”

Oak: “STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!”

LoA: "Okay, Alzheimer!"

Oak: "AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!"

okay i will admit

the only thing that is false is the slap one