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 Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 10:07 am
What...
..the hell was this?
Tea stood, almost half-annoyed, half-crestfallen look on his face --they knew each other-- that he was trying to smooth back together pull together into a blank sort of look because it was a doctor --really, Zix didn't really count couldn't count-- and.. and just standing on the doorway and he felt Zix sortofmaybe hesitate but it couldn't have been because look, there he was going darting across the room at that person --was that a zombie too there?-- and..
It all happened so fast.
The last thing Butter sawremembered clearly was Zanis' face, Zanis' prettygoldenyellow eyes and somethingfeeling flickering inside Butter that he knew showed on his faceeyes because he had never been one to be good at hiding anything-- mostly because he had never bothered; he was a zombie and.. and dead things couldn't feel..!
And the next thing he knew..
They were kissing.
And it wasn't hello-I'll-give-you-a-polite-peck' thing either. He knew those kind because that's what his cousins and his aunts and all the other stupid relatives would give him and they tittered and giggled and it was all he could do to just smile and nod politely and just not go into a fit.
It was.. It was hard. It was passionate and hard and bruising and they obviously knew each other.
Tea's handsgrip tightened on the papers unconsciously, and he gritted his teeth.
..they obviously knew each other very well.
That..
Butter's eyes flickeredemptied, and he met Zanis' stareglance with a carefully bland, empty face, hands again lying limp by his side and the redhothotburning marks on his skin still pulsing still burning with Zanis' touches and it hurt.
That was the first actual real pain that he had felt since he was brought into this room, and the zombie quickly dropped his gaze --still blank, still dead still.. still dead-- surprisedcurious but surprised at the stabbingflashing sort of burn in his chest. He.. He had never felt this before either.
Or maybe it was just this person. Because.. because they were too close and they were too close to Butter and.. and it was just too many people in a small cramped space beside the table beside Butter and it was too hot and so he should.. he should move away because it's too hot and not any other reason there could be but what else was there for Butter but heat?
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 10:47 am
It wasn't...it wasn't like he shouldn't have expected that. Really. Because he knew Zanis' thing about touching, and it wasn't like they were even planning on getting back together because Zanis had wandered off and now appeared to have found someone dead and he had always known that Zanis would never have been satisfied with someone living.
And there was a suprisingly sharp thought that swooped through that oh, that probably had just made a very wrong first impression on the zombie-he-might-know.
He didn't really worry about what Tea thought of it because Tea hated him and Zix wasn' so oblivious that he didn't notice so Tea wouldn'tshouldn'tcouldn't care because why would he care anyway?
Damn him.
Damn him damnhim damnhim.
Because ut had been so sudden and Zanis hadn't even thought to pull away --he should have but he hadn't-- and he had just bit because they always bit each other only he had kept his sharp teeth and it was a different sort of biting with his sharp teeth but it was bad. Because he should have pulled away only he hadn't because it was Zix and why would he have pulled away from Zix?
Because he had never pulled away from Zix. Foughtbitscratchedclawed, yes, but never pulled away...
The necromancer took a small step back --he knew about the toomanypeople rule around zombies-- he pulled his pocketwatch out again, inspecting his lower lip. Neatly sliced through, and the sight sort of made that familiar old enhilerationarousal spread through his body and he kind of wondered if Zanis felt it too because it was so familiar, like an old friend coming back.
Even though it was so obvious Zanis was feeling something else for the zombie. It was everywhere, in the way he looked at the zombie and the way there weren't too many apparent burning gaping holes in the zombie and the redflare marks on the zombie's lips nd the signs were all there so...
...Zanis knew he had to do something, say something because Butter's reaction was all wrong only he didn't know what because really, what could he say at a time like this? There weren't many words you could use to explain how your old lover from years ago just came in and kissed you right after you were kissing someone else and really, how did you explain that?
Almost of it's own accord, his hand reached out to almost brush against Butter's hair before he stopped, hand curling into a fist, and he pulled it back, instead reaching down and unclasping Butter's coldcold fingers from his shirt because Butter would leave now. After all, it wasn't like they really had anything, and he hurt Butter and there was something terribly terribly wrong with Butter's reaction so he had to get back and...
The snake took a small step back. Small, because he of course happened to step right into Zix, and of course this happened because of course the situtation was going to get worse.
And of course it did, because Zix's free arm snaked around his waist and he couldn't really help leaning back just a little and he knew it wasn't even really thought about, it was just so familiar. Zix wasn't even looking away from his watch, it was just an involuntary move on his part, and he knew that because he didn't really want to lean back either, not with Butter there but he had because he culdn't help it, it just happened and oh god this was bad.
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 7:00 pm
He didn't care.
He didn't care when Zix went over and kissed the doctorpersonthing --so familiarly so naturally like they had something like this did something like this often-- because Zix was annoying and.. and stupid and way way way too aggravating for Tea's liking to ever be Tea's type possibly and Tea couldn’t even begin to imagine him even entertaining that sort of notion in his head and so he didn't care.
And of course, of course there was something, there would be something because even though he was annoyingstupidgratinglyannoying to Tea, there were plenty of people who would like that sort of quality --quality? what quality?-- and.. and even though just maybe he wasn't so bad looking and so of course there would be somethingsomeone.
The assistant gritted his teeth, feeling some sort of unknown unreasonable sort of anger blazing up inside him.
In fact, there was someone already right here.
The.. the burninghotwarmpersonthing had moved away, which was kindofmaybe good because he was kindofmaybe further away but.. but the achingpainfeelingthing it was still there..
Butter's eyes snapped up in half-surprise half-somethingsomething flickering inside as he felt the glimmerheattingle of Zanis' hands --strange, even the heat from the other felt different to anyone else's-- but he hesitated before dropping the flickershaking pale gaze, avoiding meeting the other's eyes, somehow, somehow, because..
And Zanis was goingmoving away and Butter didn't want him to can't move away nonononononononocan't...!!
His fingers convulsedtrembled faintly as they lost their hold on Zanis' shirt, and Butter curled them into a loose fist that dropped limply to his side. He.. he didn't know this kind of hurtthing either, didn't know it and didn't like it and.. and because it was burninghurting and with none of that tinglymaybegood sort of feeing none of the goodness just bitingburningfirestabbing..
Butter felt the heat on his fingers burning from Zanis' touch, and faceeyes flickeredsomething before settling back down to the coldemptyblankness that he so desperately wanted to feel but coudln't because it burnedhotfireburninghurting..!
It.. it was the same. The same kind of impersonal coldcold uncaring touch, the same kind of 'you-are-nothing' and it burned and it hurt, even though Zanis' touch was coldcolder than any of his touches before but it.. even though it was cold it still it still hurt.
Nothing.
There was nothing to get annoyed about. The way they just fitted together so nicely, so comfortably so naturally like they were used to this used to each other it was nothing to get annoyed about, nothing to get this weird painthing nothing..!!
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 7:50 pm
Yamagawa wouldn't go. Kiba wouldn't let him. And...and he would do his damnedest to keep frm leaving too, even if it was just a tiny step back mentally, because he didn't want to be without Yamagawa. Yamagawa was safe, made Kiba feel safe, and it was good. Okay, so they still weren't completely fine, and Kiba was terrified that if he even for a moment broke contact with Yamagawa, the redhead would vanish in a whisp of smoke, but...but for now it was safe, it just felt safe and good and warm and all the things it had been.
And it felt like all the things he wanted it to be, forever and ever and all the time. He didn't ever want it to get darkcoldemptyscared again, he didn't want them to retreat from each other, he didn't want it to hurt, not again. He could have cared less if anyone else walked away, but Yamagawa leaving just hurt to much and he never wanted it to happen again, and he wanted...he wanted to...
He mumbled some incoherant affirmation to Yamagawa's words, lips moving almost soundlessly against the other's jaw, almost panicking again --nonono, stop feeling like that-- as his hand was pried away from the redhead's shirt, but the feelings settled down again as the lightflutterbutterfly kiss was pressed to his palm. It was still there, though, the panick crouching down in the corner of his mind, waiting for another chance to spring, to take something small and twist it into something huge until another bout of hysteria took over, and Kiba didn't want that, didn't want that at all, he wanted the warmthgoodlovely feelings, not the badcolddark feelings.
Still trembling ever-so-slightly, he sighed, nuzzling under Yamagawa's chin. If they just stayed like this, stayed here not moving like this, not thinking or talking or anything, and if these feelings just...stayed the way they were, didn't turn into anything else...then...then it would be okay, right? If these slowly-returning-to-nice feelings stayed...then it would be fine...
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 8:59 pm
Zanis could really only watch as Butter's gaze faded back into oblivion. Even if he had wanted to --he did-- he couldn't have done anything to change it. The damage had already been done, and there wasn't anything Zanis could really to do fix it, and even if there had been, Zanis wouldn't have known how. Even if there was a terribly nasty sort of pressing feeling settling down on his chest at the knowledge that it was partly his fault in the first place.
This was why he made it a point never to care for anyone. The knowledge that he would do something or something would happen and it would be his fault and the heavy weight would come and try to drown him. He should never have let it get that far. He should have just booted Butter out after he cut him free. Of course, hindsight sucked, but again, there was nothing really he could do about it.
Sighing, he tilted his head back, staringwatchingglaring up at Zix's face. "I must say, your lack of decorum astounds me." The words were flat, and while there was a hint of recognition in it, there was also a deepdeepdeep chill that belied the close and rather intimate position they were currently in.
"Me?" The necromancer's tongue slid out, lapping at the pooling blood and studying the wound with more accuracy. So much easier to do without all that pesky liquid in the way. "You sliced through my lip. With your teeth. And I'm the improper one?" Didn't this suck? Not only was Zanis unavalible, but he couldn't even go to Tea because Tea hated his guts and had brought him to Zanis, and people brought other people to Zanis for one reason. And that reason had nothing to do with any positive feelings in any way.
The snake just sighed again, running a hand through his hair and letting his gaze slide over to the riffraff still lingering over in the doorway. "Yes, well, you're the one who thought crashing our faces together was a proper greeting." And right after the thing with Butter, which somehow made it all the worse and he didn't want to do this, didn't want to have Zix here in front of Butter, because he honestly didn't feel anything for Zix, never had, but...
But they had been together for too long, they had been too close for too long, and even years absence between them hadn't kept that familiarity, that closeness from stopping them. There was not and had never been amd will never be anything between them, but while his mind knew that, his body just recognized Zix's warmthsmellshape and...and his familiarity and was reacting accordingly, even though his mind was screaming at his body to pay attention and move because this was not going to go well with Butter. Or with Zix's riffraff, who was already looking tight with something Zanis didn't know because he didn't really do well with emotions, but there was something in the riffraff's face that said...something. Probably about Zix, because Zanis knew he'd never met the assisstant in his life.
But even with his mind shouting, his body wasn't in any way listening. Because he felt nothing and Zix felt nothing and he knew that because they were too similar and they knew each other, but their bodies also remembered how to movefitpress together and there wasn't, really, anything he could do to stop it. Otherwise he would have pulled away.
Because he shouldn't, but he cared about Butter and in turn cared about what Butter thoughtfelt about him and this was not going to make Butter think good things about him.
Over the top of the pocketwatch, Zix gave a sideways glance over at the zombie. Oh, he knew that Zanis was probably enamored with it --heat marks on the lips, very incriminating-- but there was a nagging sense of familiarity. Not like the familiarity with Zanis --that was deepercloserharsher-- but a fainter one, like he had met the zombie breifly --very briefly-- and was trying to remember his face because there was something, and Zix never liked letting somethings just hanging, even if they were pointless.
Just like there was something about Tea that was utterly and totally attracting. That one, of course, he couldn't act on, merely on the basis that Tea had tried --and failed-- to get rid of him, betrayed in the simple act of bringing him to Zanis. Would have been innocent, had he not known what Zanis did for a living. Thus the reason he avoided looking at Tea, because that something would just flare up if he did, and it was a stupid something that couldn't work so he didn't want it to flare up.
Damn...that meant he had to find someone else to take him to his office...
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 11:47 pm
The familiar familiar sort of bantertalkthing they were having.. it was..
..annoying.
Tea shouldn't care, he knew that. He shouldn't even have brought Zixpersonthing to the Death Doctor, because he was useless and they knew each other and not even in a mildly acquainted sort of way but more and why did Tea ever think up the idea to ever try to kill anyone because it would never work out nothing ever worked out for Tea never ever because look at this.
The assistant gave the doctor --he's looking at him looking at him looking..!-- a sort of tightstrained half-twitch of lips which maybe couldshould have been called a smile but wasn't and maybe that hadn't been such a good choice to smile because after all, this person could just kill him with a blink of an eye and.. and that would be just bad and sucky and annoying but he didn't care at the moment because he shouldn't be angry but he was..!
Butter's gaze slid upwards again, palepale eyes methodically noting how Zanis somehow.. molded and fitted against the newcomer hotwarmperson thing-- he didn't exactly feel hot; but.. but there was the pain and it hadn't been there until this person came and.. and so it had to be this person's fault and the only reason that Butter could think that could cause this was heat, even though.. even though it was in the inside somewhere inside Butter and.. but it still had to be heat, right?
The zombie steadily avoided looking anywhere above Zanis' collar, anywhere above where the darksilken hair pooled against his shoulders against the other personthing because he couldn't look at Zanis anymore Butter didn't know why but it hurt even Zanis' eyes hurt him and.. and it hurt..! But --he realized with a silentslight start-- that person was looking at him and.. and there was something something strangefamiliarsomething about the eyesface..
"..I know you." He surprised himself by saying, the words almost almost lost on the softness, barely more than a slight hoarse half-whisper. Because Butter did know this person, knew his eyes, knew.. knew the voice knew those eyes even though Butter couldn’t quite place his finger on it because there was that glimmeringfoggy darkness pool inside his mind and everything eventually submerged down into the blacknothingness and he couldn’t remember--
Great. Just so ******** damn great. Now the zombiefreakthing says he knows Zix as well --however uncertainvaguevacantstupid it sounded-- and might as well have a fricking reunion thing because everyone knew Zix. Even though the zombie kind of maybe looked a bit put off --was that blood? and holes?-- by their appearancearrival. Or maybe it was just the whole being stabbedbleedingburned-business that the doctorpersonthing was about to inflict on the zombie.
Well, it wasn't like he was not put off --even though he had no reason to be put off ever-- so welcome to the bandwagon. Jump in and make yourself at home.
He.. The paleblank eye slid over the personthing's face again, glimmeringdark surface of the pool shudderingrippling softly at the sight. There was something. Something familiar, something important something different.. something that wasn't the kind of importantdifferent that.. that Zanis was, but.. but this person was differently importantdifferent and there was that feelingthing and.. and he didn'tcouldn't really look at Zanis couldn't bring himself to look at Zanis even though not looking hurt almost as much as looking at Zanis so close to that otherperson but it wasn't as much as.. as not looking so he would just choose the side with less pain because this wasn't good pain and.. and Butter didn't like this kind of pain even though it was Zanis and.. and even though despite the differentgoodimportantness that Zanis had, he couldn’t.. he couldn’t look at Zanis.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:16 am
"Not going.. anywhere." The redhead laid another cautiouscarefullight kiss on the paleslender fingers of the other's hand, because.. mostly because he just felt like it, because Kiba's fingers were all slender and pale and beautiful like.. like Kiba and.. and he just felt like it. It just seemed the right sort of thing to do, because he could feel some sort of panickfearthingtensing up bubbling up inside Kiba flaring up for a moment when he had pulled Kiba's hand off his shirt, and.. and that shouldn't couldn’t be right so Yamagawa had to make it right, somehow..
"Can't go." Yamagawa's lips quirked into a shaky sort of wavering smile --but still a smile-- and he tilted his head up slightly at the light nuzzlingthing, feeling somehow.. the feeling was still wobbly but.. but it was going to be okay. Maybe possibly could be a long time towards being stable and good and.. and nice again, but the feelingsense was definitely coming back and.. and it would be okay.. Another butterflylight kiss on the tip of another finger. "Won't go."
And he wasn't lying; he couldn't lie not to anybody not to anyone and especially not to Kiba because Kiba had his everything and.. and it was kind of maybe stupidpointless to ever lie to someone who hadheldkept your everything and anything in their hands. Because if he ever lied to Kiba, then it wouldn’t quite be the same thing as trusting and.. and if he didn't trust Kiba then it didn't feel safe and.. and Yamagawa wanted it to feel safe with Kiba because being safe felt good and it felt nice.
Besides, Yamagawa thought fuzzily as he slowlycarefully ran the pad of his thumb over the smoothskinknuckles of the other doctor's hand still clutched around his shirt, half-open eyes flickercraning down at the head of apple green hair and it was definitely feelingreturning to good. ---Besides, Kiba said he loved him.
So.. so no matter what happened, everything will somehow come right.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 3:26 am
Frowning thoughtfully, Zix absently slid the pocketwatch back into his pocket, turning and giving the zombie a full head-on stare, resting his chin on the top of Zanis' head and attempting to figure out just where he knew the zombie from. Consquently, this action earned him an elbow in the gut. For such a sinuous man, he sure had damn sharp angles... So, note to self, do not use Zanis' head as a chinrest, no matter how perfect the other's height was for such an occupation.
Oh, look, the riffraff was getting even more tightedgytense than he already was, and that wasn't quite a smile he cracked and my god, did this man have no brains at all? For one, Zanis was not and never would be a chinrest for people taller than him. Ever. And for another, Zix acting all close with him would not make this situation any better, and might even contrive to make the situation worse because he knew he saw the riffraff's jaw getting all tight and Butter wasn't watching him --he didn't really like the stabby sort of biting pain that shot through his chest at the realization-- so being close...er, closer was not the best idea.
Honestly, was Zix just stupid or something?
And...yeees, the zombie was right. Zix definately knew it. A funny, vague sort of almost-memory came to him, and he knew the zombie from-- damn those elbows could cut something and fine, fine, he would look at Tea so-- what was his problem? Really, why was Tea getting all annoyed-looking? Zix would have almost expected him to have vanished by now, because really, why would he care?
Besides, it wasn't like it was Tea's body acting completely on its own with no interaction from his mind. Because had his body been listening to his mind in any way shape or form, he wouldn't have even touched Zanis. Their time was over, he knew that and Zanis knew that but their stupid bodies were being...stupid and it was just stupid and what was Tea getting so annoyed at?
Him, probably. Zix was so good at making people get so annoyed at him.
Butter wasn't looking at him --Zanis could feel the colorless gaze pointedly not watching him-- and the riffraff was getting tightertensermoreannoyed and Zix was still so close and he couldn't quite pull himself and away, no matter how much he wanted to --and he did want to-- and this was one of those scenes where he would say things couldn't possibly get any worse and the skies would open up and his roof would probably leak just because they were indoors.
With a sound not quite so much as a sigh as more of a simple exhalation of breath, the goldsharpdarkgaze slid back over to Butter --who making making a point of not watching him-- and quite unbeknownst his eyes were swirling with the darkdepressedsad sort of feeling that had kept him from slicing and dicing Butter in the first place and god this was just getting worse, wasn't it?
"Maybe," the word whispered out, maybe Zix should just go, because Zix being here was not making things go well and they could always catch up later in, like, the kitchen or somewhere. Because with the way their bodies were acting right now, any place cough 'familiar' would probably be a bad idea. Zanis did not particularly want to get caught that close to Zix without his clothes and he would if it happened --and it would happen in the right place, look at the way his body was betraying him now-- simply because...that was the way it happened. Which ruled out reminiscing in any sort of bedroom or bathroom or any room with any sort of couch/table/countertop so...the kitchen was off limits then, which pretty much left the hall, and yes, they would catch up in the hall only it would have to be later...
The necromancer turned his gaze back from Tea to to the zombie, because looking at Tea all annoyed and fidgety and just...just not good was making the something flare up in his chest and that just wasn't good at all and the zombie was much safer to look at than Tea or Zanis right now. And it was kind of funny how he was so particular about all his zombies and he couldn't really remember this one. Oh, for sure, there was a fuzzy, half-formed memory but it wasn't getting in any way clearer, which either meant that this one was someone else's zombie or that he had reanimated it right after he got here, at which time he had been sauced to the gills and wouldn't have known if his own mother had been the one he was reanimating.
But he thought...it had been very cold...colder than normal, that is...
"Ah! Ice!" He snapped his fingers, eyes lighting up with the revalation. Okay, so it had been someone else's zombie then. Good, pulling a person back from the dead while drunk usually ended up with horribly botched in some way. "You were extremely hard to wake back up. Really, you were. I've never pulled someone back who was already back." It had been one of the harder cases he'd tried.
And maybe if he talked about stupid pointless nothingness memories he might distract himself long enough to pull himself away from Zanis so Zanis and his zombie could make up and Tea could drop him off at his office --or ditch him, the latter seemed more like Tea's style-- and that would be that, he'd never see either of them again and why did the idea of not seeing Tea again hurt?
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:40 am
Note to self: Do not, in any case in the future, try to kill anyone using the Death Doctor.
Addition: Do not even try to kill anyone at all unless you have a/ a Very Sharp Object, b/ a gun, c/ a bludgeon.
"..." The assistant merely watched with darkblankindifferent eyes --believe me, he had had lots of practice for this-- as the doctor sharply elbowed Zix in the ribs-- that was good, but somehow kind of maybe left a bittersortof taste in his mouth like he just drank straight from a cup of black coffee. Which was.. considerably less than pleasant --he hated black coffee-- and.. and it was doing nothing to calm his agitatedannoyedangry state--even though he had no idea why because simply, he had no reason to be annoyed like that so angry so why was he feeling like this?
Butter tensed slightly at the other's words, whiteblank eyes flashing slightly with somethingnothingfragmentthing as he searched the other's face more closely, trying to remember trying to trying to do something that could in any way make him not think about Zanis make him not feel the pulsinghotburningtingly heat still left on his skinlips from Zanis just.. just Butter needed things to distract him so then he wouldn’t think of anything anything Zanis related so he could just eventually fade back into the oblivion and.. and it would be good..
And this person was so obviously now a necromancer --how could he not have known that, not have remembered?-- because there was that differentfeel about him, the sort of differentsmell notliving smell clinging to his clothes even though he was a living and.. and the way he spoke, the way he snapped his fingers, it was.. it was just too much too much mixingheatcoldnesspower that it almost made his deadskinthing prickle in response and.. and how could he have not realized it?
Great. Just ******** great.
Now it was getting a whole lot better because now Zix turns out to be 'that necromancer' that everyone was talking about --something about him being good looking or something --my a**-- and see? he was right because there were actually people in this hellhole, in this cesspool of filthannoyingness tha actually liked Zix and my god, that just opened up a gaping hole the size of Canada because who would even dare to kill a necromancer?
"I'm sorry," Butter replied tonelessly, his gaze still waveringstopping abruptly while sliding unconsciously back to Zanis. It was like.. like Zanis was some kind of magnetthing and.. and even though Butter wanted to --yesnomaybe-- look away, he just.. he just coulnd't. Instead, he fixed his gaze --blankblankblankdead because he was always dead always nothing-- somewhere on the necromancerperson's jacketcoatfingersanything.. "--I didn't recognize you. You're.." The zombie blinked slightly, eyes sliding over the other's features again, the eyesnoselipsvoicethings. "You're older."
--and how old was he anyway? Not like Tea was possiblynever interested in anything but filling out a Death Notice form or something for Zix yes but.. but the zombie was kindofmaybe getting too familiar too and there was that tighttightfeeling again and everyone here knew Zix except for him --he was maybekindofno glad of it-- and.. and Tea should just go because there was something about the doctorperson when he looked at him that somehowmaybe said 'close-the-door' but.. but it was his office so.. so it might not be such a good idea to lock himself in with all those peoplethingZix and.. and that would be baaaaad.
"--should go." The assistant muttered to himself, noting irritably that his vision was going fuzzy around the edges and he knew he should have, like, gotten his glasses this morning but he had been too caught up in whatever he was going --ah yeah, finding his life's work-- and it was such a bother wearing glasses and glasses always reminded him of some certain redheadperson who he never ever wanted to see again, so.. so glasses were bad even though it kindofmaybe happened to be his only choice to have clear vision..
Somehow, saying that made Butter feel even more deadcoldhurtingthing than he already was, because.. it was a sudden realisation reminder sharp reminder again that he was dead, he woudln't ever age wouldn't ever die again wouldn't.. he wouldn't ever feel again because now this necromancerpersonthing had Zanis who was the only only thingpersonsomethingdifferent to.. to ever make Butter feel different and.. and that had been kindofmaybe good but now it was over and.. and Butter should just kindof go and find some coldcoldicy place and go to sleep and never ever wake up again because what was the point?
Besides, if.. if the necromancer hadn't woke him up in the first place, he would still be sleeping, still cold still dead still.. still forgetting and --he realised with an almost invisible starttremortwitchthingfingers-- he didn't want to forget Zanis. If.. if he went up right now and found somewhere coldicy where he could sleep again, then.. then he wouldcould forget anythingeverything again all over again and.. and even though the thought was somehow good it maybekindof sent another wave of that heatpainthing in his chest that he almost fizzledpassed out right then and there on the table with those threepeoplething and.. and he couldn't pass out because he was dead but.. but maybe it was just the heat doing he didn't want to forget Zanis he didn't..!!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 6:47 pm
Zanis wanted...wanted...what did he want? He knew he'd like for Zix to disappear so he could try and explain things to Butter so the zombie didn't get the totally wwrong idea about him before he left --why would Butter stay after this?-- but...but what did he want? There were things he'd like to have happen, but want was a whole different scale, and there weren't many things he wanted anymore. He'd wanted Zix, a long time ago --and his stupid body still did-- but...but he kindofmaybe also wanted Butter only it was in a different way because there had been nothing behind him and Zix only there was the idea that maybe there could be --could have been-- something behind it with Butter.
He wanted...
...Tea was reaaaally starting to look uncomfortable. Why? Why was Tea getting uncomfortable. Surely he'd seen some PDA before. Not that this was necessarily PDA, because really, what affection did he feel for Zanis --answer: none-- but the idea was the same. Maybe it was just because Zanis' office had a creepycreepy air that normal humans could feel --hell, even Zix felt it-- and that was just making Tea uncomfortable. Yeah, that had to be it. Couldn't be anything else.
Dragging his eyes back away from the assisstant, he glanced over at the zombie, noting its stiffness as well. Not the normal, dead guy stiffness either, but a different sort of stiffness, like...like he was trying not to feel anything --feel? feel what? wasn't like they were close enough to be radiating body heat or anything-- and it was a little strange to see. "Don't worry about it," he said brightle, only a little annoyed by the 'oler' comment. Any other words, zombie...? "People tend to forget me rather easily.
Somehow, Zanis was able to pull his eyes away from Butter, giving a sharp, inquisitive sort of glance up at the necromancer. Forgettable...? No, there were many words to describe Zix, but forgettable wasn't one of them. With that annoying and brash personality, and the...the mere shape of his bodyface --of which he knew in intimate detail and almost wished he didn't-- Zix wasn't a forgettable character at all. He--
"--should go."
Go, yes, Zix should go. It would be...awkward, yes, but...but he needed to go. And ifwhen this thing with Butter didn't work out --he'sgoingtoleave!-- maybe, if Zix wasn't playing with riffraff, they could...try it out again. It beat being stuck in this place alone, even if there was nothing behind it.
Yes. Yes, that was a good idea. The words would have been too soft for most people to hear, but Zix had the special ability where he could hear things from very far away so he could pounce on the words and annoy the hell out of the speaker. Not on purpose, but that was what his hearing was like. And the words, those two little mumbledmuttered words Tea uttered were a godsend, because it meant that there was an escape and it meant that He could politely bow out and get away from Zanis because being around Zanis was just making things so much worse than it had been and it just sucked so the invitation was a good thing...
"Saa, Tea's right. We should go. That's that then." Quite without meaning too --what had he done since walking into Zanis' office on purpose?-- he leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to the dark snake's temple. Then, before said snake could react in such a way that would cause him bodily harm, he pushed off, nearly stumbling back don'tletgodon'tletgonono-- as he went back out the door.
"Bye!" he called in the doorway, decidedly paler than he had come in --don'tlethimgo!-- but unwilling to stop, brushing past Tea but making a point not to touch him --he'd said don't do it. Can't stop can't get too close again no have to--
Dark gold watched Zix vanish, on the one hand glad the other had left, but on the other hand, missing his form already. Stupid body, being all...lustful, or whatever it was. And of course, stupid Zix left him with this mess to clean up --of which it was Zix's fault in the first place anyway-- and he was highly doubting a simple explanation would pacify Butter to...to whatever it was before.
Zanis gave the riffraff --names had no part of riffraff, no matter what Zix called himit-- with a clear simple unworded saying. Leave and don't let the dor hit you on the way out. Because, you know, being rejected without witness was so much better.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 7:32 pm
He wasn't getting uncomfortable. No, not ever. Becauze Zix wasn't even worthy of any of Tea's attention, none at all, and if he wasn't worthy of his attention then he just wasn't and Tea most certainly wasn't feeling all uncomfortable and tight and angryannoyed because there was nothing to get annoyed about. So he wasn't annoyed at them. He was just.. he was just in a bad mood.
Very bad mood.
"I'm sorry." The zombie repeated again, rather hollowly and blankly, his mouth sort of moving lips forming the sound the words but without any prompt instructionssomethinganything from his mind, and he dropped his head, sensing more than hearing the slightslight annoyance in the other male's voice. He.. some glimmer of things were slowly filtering back into his mind from the blankblackdark pool, and.. and Butter somehow felt some sort of.. there was some strange weird sort of feel to the way the conversationthing --if this could be called it-- was turning out and.. and not to mention that even though this person wasn't the.. the someonepersonthing who had made him a.. what he was now, he had most certainly woken him up again and that was as good as him being the one who made --more like remade-- Butter, so.. so there wasmaybe some sort of pull, some sort of.. of obligation thingmaybe even though he hadn't wanted to be woken up..
But before he could say anything, there was some fast sort of quick movementsthoughtsfeelingswaves sort of ripple from the other occupantsthing --meaning.. meaning Zanis and the otherpersonthing and.. and the necromancer-- which he hadn't quite caught but obviously something had because now the personthing was leaving with the necromancer and.. and everything was happening way too fast way too.. way too many things happening all at once and..!
Pale eyes mutedly watched the necromancerpersonthing --was he really annoyed? Should he apologize because after all he had obviously said something wrong to annoy the person and so he should apologize should-- almost kind of half-stumble back across the room towards the door, but after giving Zanis a kindofmaybe kisspeck thing--at least it wasn't.. whatever it was before which made the thinginsidething burn but this one still kind of did and Butter didn't like this kind of hurting so.. so it was maybekindof good that the necromancerperson left, but.. but he still couldn’t see Zanis.
"Saa, Tea's right. We should go. That's that then."
...
..'That's that then'?
Tea gritted his teeth and nodded slightly to the doctor --he didn't like the look of him already-- and the zombie --who was looking more terrifiedstiffsomething now that they were leaving; maybe the doctor was going to stickhimtorturesomething after all-- and promptly turned on his heels and left, shutting the door carefullycarefully --couldn't help to not offend the personthing, even though Tea didn't really like him (even though there was no reason to be angry) since.. well, you never know when you could be finding yourself strapped to the table with him looming over you with sharp fatal objects.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:40 pm
Zix took a slightly relieved breath, pressing his forehead against the wall a couple feet from Zanis' door. Right, he had to mark that spot on the blueprint of his mind...and never ever ever go there again. Because it wasn't them anymore, it was Zanis and his zombie --maybe, Zanis would need to patch that up-- and Zix and...and nobody, really, because as much as people thought he was...appealing, no one would want any sort of 'relationship' with someone who brought dead people back to half-life. So Zix was alone.
Well...there was Tea...
But Tea hated him, and if Tea hated him that really rather killed any chance of any sort of relationship, now didn't it? It didn't really work out that well if the two people in the relationship couldn't stand the sight of the other --not that he hated the sight of Tea, the sight of Tea was rather attractiveappealing, it was Tea who couldn't stand the sight of Zix, and that just didn't work. Oh, maybe if it was a purely physical relationship, like what he'd had with Zanis, then maybe it might work itself into some semblance of...of something, but Tea probably wouldn't get over the irritated biting hate to even think of something physcial with Tea.
Besides, Zix wasn't exactly looking for something just physical with Tea...
Blinking slightly at the thought --whre had that come from?-- he sighed, turning his head so he was watching Tea out of the corner of his eye, forehead still pressed up against the cool wall of the hallway. "Would you rather take me to my office or leave?" he asked flatly. No pretenses. He wasn't going to force his hand if Tea hated him, as he so clearly did, so he might as well give Tea the option to leave, instead of just forcing him to lead the person he hated.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:52 pm
The assistant blinked slightly, standing somewhat kindofmaybe awkwardly--Tea hated that too, hated people who maybejust made him awkward without even doingsaying anything. And.. and what.. what were they, just what kind of relationshipthingwhatever were those two in that.. that Zix all but practically ran out the door like his pants were on fire and.. and he was now kindofmaybe going crazyzoningoutweird only a couple of feet away from the doctorpersonthing's room?
..Not that it was any of his business, because he didn't care and.. and it was just stupid and.. and Tea didn't care at all of course not!
The tanned male exhaled softly, shifting the pile of paperreportthing in his arms yet again and silentlyvaguely wondering if he could drop by his own room on the way to.. to wherever Zix's placethingoffice was --probably the morgue; there were only so many places fit for a necromancerpersonzombierevivingthing after all-- and.. and it was so very annoying and.. and Tea didn't really maybeyesno didn't want to accompany Zix off to the morgue, but.. but he'll suppose he had to. Maybe. Because.
Feeling very mildly irritated at himself --was his English failing him again he really needed foodcoffeedrinksomething-- at the rather clipped vague nothing turn that his thoughts were taking, Tea had almost almost missed the other's questionthing. He was sounding rather flat too, flat and direct and just-maybe-a-little maybe angrysomething.
Guess he had figured out the failed remnants of Tea's plan then.
Shrugging --as best as he could; his arms were somewhat occupied after all-- a little, the tanned male met the flatflatsomething gaze levelly, his lips twitching slightly in a sort of half-regret, half-irritated smilething that maybe wasn't as tighttightangrystrained as.. as before's had. Ah well.
"Might as well just take you to the right place." Tea muttered, suddenly very much wanting a cigarette; the headachething was coming back. He didn't know what was up between those two --and he didn't even want to know-- but Tea did know that something hadn't gone quite that well between them and.. and there was a suspicious nagging feeling that he was somehow maybe intruding on them by standing so tightangrythingsomething in the doorway like that. And Tea didn't like nagging feelings. They tended to gnaw at his nerves until he was just about ready to snap and bite people's heads off, and that usually made his headaches worse, and-- He snapped his gaze away, realizing that he was somehow still maybejustmaybelittle looking at the other, and suddenly feeling very acutely conscious of the darkcurly hair tumbling again over his forehead. "...The morgue, right?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:56 pm
He could kill that man!
Oh, he knew he wouldn't. For one, it was so hard to hide murders of doctors in a place like this --he'd tried-- and losing the mortician would cause an even bigger uproar because who would fill in? How many necromancers were out of work and looking for a job at a creepy lab where genetically altered expermients frequently died of 'mysterious causes'? Zix was probably one of the few who would ever fit a profile like that.
Besides, even if he tried, his body would probably be stupid and betray him again and stop him from killing the stupid man because really, he hadn't even been able to stop himself from kissing him. And then there had been the leaning thing, and now the last little kissing bit --not as bad as the first one, but still, it wasn't good-- and Butter would go because how could he explain this? Oh, yeah, my old lover stopped by for a visit with his riffraff and we kind of can't keep our hands off each other but oh, don't worry, there's nothing between us.
Yeah, that would go over well.
Letting out a breath, he turned, making a point of not looking at Butter --because something kept rising up when he did and he didn't like it-- and he strode over to the cabinet where he kept depositing the needle and thread, absently picking at the wrapping around his hand. He had to...to fix himself up, and then...then he could...he could just go back to before when Butter wasn't here and he hadn't even met Butter because somehow having never met Butter hurt so much less, idea wise, than having met Butter and losing him like this.
"You can go it you want," he said flatly, pulling the thread from the spool and sliding it through the needle head. He didn't...he didn't want Butter to go, but...if Butter left quietly then there wouldn't be such a fuss of what happened and he just didn't want to deal with this right now so... Ignoring the slight shaking in his hands --again?-- he pulled the strip of black cloth away frm his hand, the threaded needle ready to plunge into the skin before the cloth was fully removed.
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 11:44 pm
Zanis wasn't looking at him.
Almost of their own accord, his eyes slid over to where the other stood by the cabinets, the paleblank depths flickeringwavering a little as they carefullycarefully watched the absent sort of picking-motion at the wrapping --his hand was still bleeding can't bleed can't had to fix it Zanis couldn’t bleed hurts-- and the graceful almost sinuous flowing sort of movement of the other's body which, strangely, still somehow showed still.. was still there even though Zanis was standing still but Butter could almost almost see the gracefulcurving smooth linescontours of the other's movement, so very unlike his own which was.. which was nothing just sharp and ugly andnothing..!
His hand --the cut one, the stitched one the one that Zanis had touchedsnappedloosenedtore off his shirt like the nothing insignificant nothing not worthy of anything useless zombiething he was..!-- throbbed painfully again, the redpink burnmarks apparent on the bluishcolddead skin, Zanis' differentburningcoldwarmhothurting touches engraved onto the fingershand into Butter and.. Butter slowlycarefully clenched the hand into a loose sort of fist, feeling the rawred flesh protesting under the strainshift of muscle that the simple movement brought him. And..
..And it hurt.
And it wasn't like the normal sort of hurting either, because the normal sort of burninghurtingheat went no further than his flesh, the top of his skin, the outer coldcold surface just barely grazing the darkblackblankcalm of the gapingswallowingsucking pool that everything eventually ended up in and nothing rarely ever came out, and the lakepoolmemorything had always remained calm, remained cold remained just as cold just as dead as Butter all through until this time.
Because.. Because now there was a different sort of pain, not differentdifferent like the.. the touches that Zanis made him feel before before the necromancer turned up, because that feeling was.. was good, and.. and this feeling wasn't wasn't good because it hurt and it burned but he couldn't get rid of it couldn’t stop it because.. because it was inside him and.. and he couldn't stop it can't..!!
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