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 Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:44 am
He.. He had feltthat.
He had felt that strangeweirdfeelingmovement, a quirkingcurving of lips against his --still liplocked, still kissingnotkissing still heady still wobbling still.. still so confusingnotknowingwantingtoknow-- and the realisation that Zanis was smiling --it was either that or a grimace but.. but Zanis didn't feel angryhot which should have been the case had he been angry and.. and because he didn't feel warmhotburning like he was angry he wasn't angry so.. so he was smiling and Butter didn'tknowcoudln'tknow howwhat to make of that, didn't know what it meant why was he smiling because.. because Butter wanted to know all of it all of everythinganything that he felt, everything that Zanis felt and right now he was smiling and.. and why..?!
And that thoughtfeelingknowledge that Zanis was smilingkissing him and just notangrynotangryhot made Butter.. made that another sparkthing of notpainsomethingelse and.. and it was strange and new and somehow foreign lookingfeelingtasting pooling inside Butter's mouth inside his gut inside his lungs and he didn't need to breathe Butter knew that but.. but all of a sudden he felt like he had to, felt like he had to open his mouth taking a gaspgulp of breath in and breathing Zanis in instead..!
Again, Butter almostalmost whisperedout almost beggingstrangepleadingwanting note in his voice behindpressing against his throat and he almost did say it, because he wanted more and he wanted to kiss Zanis again and he wanted Zanis to kiss him again make the painnotpaindifferentsort flare up again and just again and again and.. and..
There was a flickerflashspark of oddburningquickpain again, across his already stinginghotseared lips and Zanis' tongue was hotter hotterclosermoremoremorepainful more than when it had licked across Butter's cheek more than anythingany part of Zanis' body because it was just hot but.. but at the same time it was cool because it was so that much wetter than any other part of Zanis fingershands that had touched him, and feeling the hotburningpain then the sort of weirdstrangecoolcold breath --slightly warm, but over on the lickedwarmwetness thing it was somehow cool-- was somehow newexcitingshiverygooddifferent, and Butter carefullyslowly parted his lips, hoodedliddedheavy eyes watching Zanis, his coldcooldead breath minging with Zanis' coolwarm ones and sending another weirdshiver down his spine again.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:58 am
Okay. Yamagawa said okay. Like it was as simple as that. Yamagawa couldn't just stop apologizing because he said he would stop. It just wasn't possible to do that. It was like...like trying to stop smoking by just saying they would. A few people could do it, but they were rare and the majority went right back to smoking. And Kiba got the feeling that Yamagawa was one of the majority and he wouldn't be able to stop apologizing but he had to otherwise...he'd be gone because every apology was another step back away from Kiba and that hurt.
He wouldn't say that he didn't like Yamagawa's arm around him like that, or the way Yamagawa got all close and pressed against his hair. He wouldn't say that because it was wrong, he did like it, Kiba liked it very much. He just...he didn't like how far away Yamagawa was when he was doing it. Because even though he liked it, it felt wrong because it didn't feel as safe as it had before, simply because Yamagawa had backed away and wasn't there anymore and Kiba...Kiba wanted that safety back, wanted it to come back to him so he could...could feel warm again only...
It wasn't there.
And feeling that, knowing that was somehow horribleterriblewonderful all at once. Why it felt good to know that, he wasn't quite sure, but maybe he'd just quietly slipped over the edge and was completely nuts and he didn't even know it. He'd heard that had happened before. And maybe right now, right this second he was just...insane.
And...and insane people didn't have to, like, account for their actions or words or anything, right?
Kiba shifted slightly --veryveryveryslightly-- and the one movement unwound him enough so that he was able to glarebegwatch Yamagawa and still clutch his shirt in white-knuckled fists, all without any seeming transition between the two poses at all. Like an extra second had been taken out where there should have been movement leaving one with the impression that there wasn't. It was the fastest he'd ever moved, and had he been in his right mind --had he even believed he was in his right mind anymore-- he would have appreciated this fact.
As it was, he just watched Yamagawa, saying in a flat, clear voice, "I love you, so you can't go," with only a slight warble on the end and a still stready stream of tears and the death grip he had on the redhead's shirt the only indication that he wasn't completely calm or nuts.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:15 am
The doctor gave him a slightly funny look, like he couldn't quite place the dark-eyed man in front of him, but the doctor had papers he needed delivered and standing in front of him was a man in a white coat that held the air around him that just knew the doctor was a higher-upper superior and thus had to follow the higher-upper's every word to the letter because that was just what he was supposed to do. And the doctor knew that air, knew the feeling of surperiority he held because every assisstant had that lowly sort of air around the scientists, and so what if he couldn't remember this assisstant's face, who cared? He was an assisstant and the doctor needed his papers delievered.
And thus, Zix got very important papers to be sent to very important people and he wasn't even supposed to have them.
Chucking to himself, he padded down the hall, fotsteps surprisingly light considering the clunky boots he was wearing. But when you'd worn a certain pair of boots as long as he had --boots were expensive, you had to make them last-- you learned exactly how to walk just the right way in them so that you were making the most noise possible or the least noise possible. It was all a matter of the way he stepped, and he was so good at it, he didn't even have to look anymore. And people just natually got out of the way of him, because the doctors never bothered with assisstants in the halls and the assisstants didn't like dealing with someone who might remember their faces, hunt them down, and bring them back when they had been expecing a nice long rest after this stupid life was all done.
Humming softly, he pulled open the file in his hands, eyes skimming over the contents with apparent delight, even though the words were a mix of gibberish and laboratoryese and he understood about one word in every fifteen. Mostly the word 'the'. But whatever. He had papers that were probably very important, and he had no idea who he had to give them to, so he decided he might as well just...keep them. Because it wasn't like he would jsut leave them around. That was irresponsible. And the papers looked so important, so he was going to just...take them and keep them in a safe place. In the box under his desk with all the other important looking papers he'd been given --of their own free will, that was the main thing-- and didn't understand, but they looked important and that was the main thing.
So, this plan in mind, he turned a corner, heading down the hall to the bague direction he thought his office was. He hadn't really been here long enough to figure out exactly where the morgue was, but he figured if he wandered around enough, he'd eventually come across it. Sooner or later.
Well, it had to show up sometime, right?
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:32 am
Yamagawa knew saying okay wasn't enough, couldn’t ever be enough could never un-break Kiba fix Kiba like he so desperatelyneedinglyhopelessly wanted to, because it was such a short word for such a deep hurtcrackscar and saying okay was stupid because Yamagawa knew you couldn't just pretend everything was fixed with that just okay but it was like his mind was gone wipedoutblank completely and.. and he wanted to say sorry but he coulnd't say it because Kiba didn't want him to say sorry so he couldn't..!
And there had been something that he was going to say except that he didn't quitemaybenot know what it had been because Kiba said he loved Yamagawa but maybe that were the voices tauntinglaughing at him, maybe that was just him imaginingmaking up things because Kiba wanted to leave, right? He wanted to leave and leave here leave Yamagawa because Yamagawa was nothing and he wasn't good enough for Kiba and.. and so...
It somehow hurt sososovery much more, now that he realised it.
It.. it was stupid sososososososovery stupidstupidstupid--! It was so stupid that they both loved --at least, if what Kiba said if what voices said was actuallytrue (highly unlikely) and if Kiba loved Yamagawa-- each other, yet they were hurtingbreakingbroken so much so much hurting somuch and.. and it was all his fault and that came as a surprisingstabbing revelation and that thought hurt too, making Yamagawa sort of shivergaspnearlycrysob slightly because it hurt he didn't want to hurt Kiba he didn't want to go away but he couldn’t stop going couldn’t stop fadingawayshuttinghimself off and.. and he couldn’t stop hurting Kiba so maybe it would be goodbetter if he actually wentaway completely because then he wouldn’t be able to hurt Kiba anymore being far away and.. and even though a part of him lashed out at the idea because it was wrong it's not supposed to work like that but Yamagawa so very much wanted it to..
The next moment he wasn't quite huggingembracingholding Kiba anymore, his head wasn't quite resting on Kiba's anymore and his eyes weren't quite staring off into nowhere because Kiba's hands were holding onto the front of his shirt tighttightwhitepalestraining and Kiba's eyes --goldenyellowtearywaveringbutfirm-- meeting his eyes filling his vision the palepaletearyfacebeautiful and.. and Yamagawa couldn’t even give a proper response to it rightaway --what proper response? what, when all he had ever said to Kiba turned out to be an utter disaster?-- and.. so now he was probably looking kind of maybeyes stupid, and.. and he had to say something..!
"..I won't go." A softsoft almost-whisper and his hands left Kiba's shoulders to wrap around the other's hands, trying to be calmnotcryingcalm but shaking and he couldn’t stop cryingcan't.. "I won't go."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 2:50 am
Seriously. How stupid can they be?
Tea fumed, muttering angrily to himself silenthalf-stifledflashingangrysharp and falling back to his native Italian when his English failed him --that was stupid too. He shouldn't just fail in English because he just couldn'twouldn'tshouldn't fail at anything especially not English-- and just being angry. Because Tea just was and he so very seriously was thinking about to hell with this all and quitting his assistant thing internship thing and going back to his university where he'll most surely fail --another failing it was stupidstupidstupid!-- but he didn't care if he failed because the doctorseveryone here were stupid..!
I mean, how stupid can they be to not know who to give the documentpapersheetsreports to?
And it had been his. His reports, his documents, his precious essays and reports and his year's work that he had to send back to the university to his crabby cranky lecturers and tutors this week and Tea had thought wouldn't it be great if the doctors here had a look at it first and.. and they had lost them.
They had positively sworn that whoever came in and took those documents were him, but Tea knew it wasn't because he was Tea and he couldn’t just not remember going around collecting all his reportsessaysyear'swork and just forget them. And there couldn't be anyone who even remotedly looked like him because he was tanned andnobody not anybody around here was.. wastanned. They were freakishly white and Tea hated their skin and wished they would stop dipping themselves in bleach and..!
Muttermuttermutter --angrysharpstaccatowords-- and he almost didn't catch the humming --who ever hummed around here? Nobody did not everneverever-- he almost didn't catch the darkheavy boots, he almost didn't catch the very, very familiar papers currently lying very comfortable on the malepersonthing's hands.
"You--!" The assistant didn't actually finish the sentence, snatching the documentreport from the other's hands and cradling it almost protectively to his chest, cheeks slightly flushed from running around all over the place from five in the morning --people here kept very very erratic hours-- and the cold air of the labs didn't really help either, but it was mostly from the rising angerannoyancerealisation that this was the culprit.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 3:17 am
He knew.
Zanis knew, he could feel it, somehow, almost emanating off Butter --how? Zombies didn't feel-- the wantneedlonging almost tangibletasteable, almost...almost like butter. It tasted like butter. Not this Butter --this Butter tasted different-- but the food butter --now that he recalled exactly what food it was. The needwantlonging Butter was giving off somehow even though he shouldn't have been able to tasted exactly like the spread, all creamy and yellow and sunshiney like he'd always thought butter tasted like, and that's what this want feeling Butter was letting off tasted like.
Still grinning slightly --no reason, it just felt like it was fine to be smiling right now-- he slid his tongue past Butter's lip, the strange rush of coldicybreath startlingicydifferent than anything else he could have expected. He had known, of course, that Butter's skin was cold --why else would Zanis' touch burn?-- but somehow he hadn't quite expected Butter's insides to be just as cold. But the arrival of that knowledge was...it was exhilerating and amazing and beautiful somehow, because it just meant that Butter was even more fragile and beautiful and perfect because after all what kind of doll had warm insides? That'd just be wrong.
It was definately odd. There was a second taste rising up abovearoundthrough the buttery wanting sort of taste, this one a kind of...purple sort of taste. The kind of taste that there really is no proper way to describe it so untasteable colors are used to describe it and it made him wonder exactly what emotion he was feeling right now that he was tasking a color. What feeling was so...so out there that he couldn't even find words to describe it?
Carefullygentlysoftly, his fingers wrapped around Butter's hair --or maybe Butter's hair wrapped around his fingers-- and he pressed frward slightly, running his tongue across the roof of Butter's mouth, partly to see what reaction the zombie had, and partly because he just wanted to. And he really so no better reasn if he simply wanted to. Because really, if he wanted to do something, who was going to stop him? They had sent Butter here and they knew what his job was which meant that they weren't really expecting Butter back, and Butter was really no match for Zanis is he really wanted to do something...
But right now, he just wanted to kiss Butter. He'd never wanted to just kiss someone before, but he did. With Butter, he did. Because Butter was differentperfectspecial and it was wonderful to know that there were still special things and it was wonderful the way kissing Butter made him feel and it was all just --he never thought he'd ever think this ever-- wonderful
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 9:45 am
Kiba's eyes flashedflared briefly before settling back to that eerie calm sort of look. And there was something about the way his hair flared at the same time was was vaguely reminicient of a cobra's hood flaring open only that couldn't be it --probably-- because it was just hair --most likely-- so it was really probably just air currents or...or something. "Than you can't go," he said flatly, tone bordering on --slightlyslightlysoveryslightly-- desperation. Even if he had to...to nail Yamagawa's feet to the floor, he wouldn't let Yamagawa go away, not again he couldn't.
And he would be more than willing to do it, to, if Yamagawa tried to go away even the slightest because he had decided even if it wasn't legal in the medical law's point of view, he was officially declaring himself insane for this little while until he was sure that Yamagawa wouldn't couldn't go because there were some things that Kiba wouldn't do that an insane Kiba could do. Like...like tie Yamagawa to something, for example. Or...or other stuff he couldn't quite think of right now, but it was there. He just...he wouldn't have been able to do something like that, something that wuld require him to actually, like, manhandle Yamagawa.
But...but if he allowed himself to be insane, just for a little bit, then there was no reason he couldn't do whatever it took to keep Yamagwa here, right?
Because insane people were exempy from blame and all that.
"So stop saying that," he demanded, leaning forward ever so slightly and glaringwatchingpleading into Yamagawa's prettyprettygreen eyes. "Stop saying that and going away." How much clearer could Kiba make it? Yamagawa just had to stop apologizing and then everything would be absolutely fine and if Yamagawa tried to say it again, Kiba would go and findmake some sticky sort of potion and glue his mouth shut so he couldn't say it anymore. Because he was a little bit nuts and he was allowed to do that sort of thing now.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:01 am
The arrival of the staccato cursing --he knew it was cursing, simply because it sounded like cursing. Cursing had a certain identifiable ring to it no matter what the language-- was followed much to closely by the papers being snatched away for it to really quickly register that someone had come up to him. And even though he hadn't understood many --okay, most. Nearly all-- of the words in the paper, it had all looked very impressive and organized and if there was one thing Zix liked --two things, really-- it was something that was impressive and organized. And even if it wasn't, if it could do a damn good job pretending, then that worked too.
So there was a definate sense off loss when the papers vanished before his eyes --replaced by an infinate curiosity to just who would take the papers and why they would take the papers because it must have been an important reason, right? He had been reading those. Well...kind of not really, but he had looked like he was reading those. And it was just a general rule that assisstant people didn't bother doctors while they were reading in the hall and even other doctors didn't tend to bother doctors who were reading in the hall, so who...?
Frowning curiously, he let his eyes trail upward, gaze leveling off just aboutaround the other's eyes, meaning they were pretty damn close to each other in height. Cool. And those eyes were currently watching him with an Ihatetheworldandeverythinginitincludingyou sort of glare that Zix had seen plenty of times before and so therefore paid no mind to it. After all, why pay attention to something that was terribly familiar? And if he was ignoring the darkevilnasty look that meant that now he had to either get those papers back or just go and find another doctor and get important loking papers from him.
"I suppose you'll want those back, then?" The slight twinge at the end of the sentence suggested that yes, if the other male didn't want the papers back, then Zix was more than willing to take them off his hands and keep them safely out of harm's way because really he was just a kind person like that.
And he liked flipping through important looking papers and looking busy when people stopped by. It led to better impressions.
Plus, the angry male --Italian? Wasn't Italian very staccato like that?-- was rather attractive in a possibly-Italian sort of way. And he had that irritated quality that was so cute and even though you really couldn't see it he was all red --probably from anger, yesmaybe-- and it was just...so...the overall affect was actually a little charming, really. Besides, he had darktanned skin. Most of the people Zix worked with had skin that was either pale or grey and falling off in little bits, so finding someone with dark skin who wasn't covered in mud and all the skin was attached was rather neat.
Zix liked him already.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 10:47 am
There it went again, the sparkwetwarmnotpain bursting behind his eyes inside his head and the zombie had to close his eyes, mostly because the light was so bright and.. and he didn't know wherehow that light came from because, well, it was pretty kindofmaybe dark in here but there was that lightsparkle thing and it was sosososovery bright and.. and it was kindofgoodmaybebadnotbad sort of feeling, so.. so that was another kind of maybegood new feeling that.. that Butter had to know.
And.. and Zanis' breath was warm --not as hotwarm as his fingershandstongue, not as coldwarm as his hair-- and it was kind of just right, it kind of felt just right, to have that warmliving breath mingling with Butter's own colddeadnotliving ones and.. and Butter had never ever felt right before, never, because it was just the way it was and if Butter didn't like it, it didn't matter if he liked it or not because he just had to live with it.
It wasn't ever right before, it hadn't ever quite felt so.. so fitting, nothing had ever felt so good so right and even though there were odd hothotburning flashes of pain --maybe it was more so because nobody had kissed him before-- but.. but the rest of it, the rest of it if you took all the pain away, was.. was tinglygood and it was just the right sort of warmth that didn't burn him but it spread across him just enough to make the skin tinglesharply, but not enough for it to hurt.
Of course, after this --because it would end because.. well, because Zanis was a doctorpersonthing and.. and there were plenty of jobs to do around here for a person like Zanis-- he would have to kindofmaybereally find.. find something somewhere cold and dark and quiet and.. and just sleep, because they had always told him to sleep when he was too burned too hot too pained to do anything else, and.. and something about it healing up faster but the tongue burningwethotgoodbad inside inside and..!!
The zombie gasped slightly --warmwarmbreathZanisinsidesearingdeadcoldwarmheat-- and his hand tightened marginally where it was tangled tentativelygentlysoftly around Zanis' smoothdark pretty hair, his other hand snappingflying up to grip the front of the doctor's shirt, the twitch of muscle pulling them closer. It was completely accidental. Butter liked it maybekindofyesnoyes, because even though he still felt pain it was a different sort of pain maybeyes and.. and it was just different so Butter didn't mind it, rather, he was wantingneeding it, but.. but it was also even more painfulwarm than anything else had been until just now because.. because nobody ever touched his mouththinginside and.. and it was kindofjustmaybealittle too painful but..
The whitepale eyes fluttered open again, still flickerflashes of pain glimmering in the otherwise dolllike blank depths. He just sat there, tensedpoisedpainpainhurting and taking slow, shallow gasps of air --why? He didn't need to breathe why was he breathingwhy?-- but his hand still holding tightly onto the shirt, his other hand still wrappedtwisted around the darkdarkhair, trembling only just slightly because that.. that had maybekindof hurt but.. but with that morethanalittle pain came morethanalittle nicenotpain, and.. and he wanted the nicefeeling to come back so he couldn’t let go of Zanis yet couldn't..!
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 11:14 am
The redhead just nodded, hands tightening veryvery only sovery slightly around Kiba's because right now, he was maybekindofjustalittle scared of.. of Kiba. That was strangefunnyodddisconcerting because he had never really felt scared of Kiba before, because Kiba was.. Kiba was Kiba and he always had the odd senseair of.. of comforting sort of something and Yamagawa had liked that, he had liked the comfortingcalmstable sort of feeling that Kiba had, almost like an aura, around him and now it was gone and it was all his fault so.. so there actually was some justification in him feeling a little bit scared because he deserved it but..
"Hai." Yamagawa forced himself to stop doingsayinganything stupid anything dangerous anything that might.. anything that might breakhurt make Kiba like this and.. and the only way justmaybeyesno would be.. to.. to agree. Not that Yamagawa would lie to make Kiba calmcomfortingback, because he couldn't lie, and.. and Yamagawa wanted to stay so there actually was no reason for him to ever lie because it was all true and he wouldn’t go anywhere.
"I can't go." And that was true too. Yamagawa couldn't go, not anymore not when going away hurt Kiba and.. and if it hurt Kiba if anything hurt Kiba then he was not going to do it, he wouldn’t say anything that hurt Kiba, wouldn’t do anything that hurt Kiba --because he was uselessstupid and did so many things hurtingbreaking already-- and, and so.. so he couldn't go. Because Kiba said he couldn't go, so he couldn't.
It was sososo too simple it was --would have been-- almost funny, except that there were tears annoyinghotwetstupid welling up and he couldn’t hide them from Kiba's goldenyellowsearchingglaring stare because if he looked away then.. then that would be another sortof going away and.. and that would mean that he would hurt Kiba again and that would mean that he had lied again and that would.. that would be sosososomuch so much heavinessdarkness pulling him down so he couldn’tcan't look away can't..!
"I'm not going anywhere," his green eyes wavered slightly, the tears --whywhywhystupidwhy-- not quite falling and not quite going away and just there, poisedbalanced on the point just before falling and.. and he wanted it to go away.. He blinked softly, just once, still daring not even to move, not even to breathe because this was important and if he screwed this up, then.. then he really was useless and Kiba really would be better off with somebody not as uselessstupid as Yamagawa.. "I'm not going."
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 11:37 am
"I suppose you'll want those back, then?"
The tanned male practically bristled visibly at the remark --justwhatthehellwhowasthis-- dark eyes snappingflickering angrily as he met the other's look, which just all but screamed out 'I-know-you-are-angry-but-I-don't-care' and.. and Tea didn't like that, didn't like that sort of look because Tea had a right to be angry because this personthingbastard stole his preciousneat life's work and.. and he stole it and he was reading it --kindof; there was this sort of weirdblank stare that kindofmaybe told him that this personthing didn't get half of it-- and.. and he had stolen it and now he has the guts to ask if he wanted it back?
As it was, Tea just narrowed his eyes slightly, gritted teeth slacking just far enough for the male to hiss through his teeth. "If I didn't want it back I wouldn't even be looking at you." The papersfoldersfile trembled angrily where they were clutched to his chest because he was angry because they were important and.. and yes, those papers were more important than this personthing's life more important than anything else because it was his life's work and nothing noone ever mattered more to Tea than this.
..Well, maybe not more important than Tea, but finishing his internship and becoming a doctor kind of maybe ran parallel to handing these documents in, and.. and so.. Tea was as important as these documentsfilesreports, but.. but not this person.
And Tea didn't like the way he was looking at him.
He snapped his headgaze away from the other, dark, slightly damp curls tossing angrily over into his eyes and now that was annoying too because it meant that he had to get one hand free somehow and tuck those away and he should cut it but nononono, they would scream and squeal and say that oh no, Tea's gone and abandoned his heritage and why the hell would just cutting his hair mean that he was abandoning anything but annoying bits of dead cells?
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 12:51 pm
The fierce gold gaze softened slightly at the affirmation, and it somehow felt maybe okay again, not all the way but maybe a little better than it had because Yamagawa couldn't lie. He just...he just couldn't, which meant that Yamagawa couldn't leave because he'd said and if he did go then that would be lying and Yamagawa just couldn't do that. So...so it was maybekindofatinybit better than before, because if Yamagawa wasn't going to leave then there wasn't any real reason for anything bad to happen --and something bad would have happened if Yamagawa had tried to leave-- so then it was all maybe getting better.
Which was good. Kiba didn't like feeling like this, didn't like this deepdarkbad sort of hurting pain, but if Yamagawa wasn't leaving then he didn't have to feel like that, because if Yamagawa wasn't leaving then Kiba had no reason to feel like that. Because being withby yamagawa somehow made things better so long as he wasn't leaving, and he had said he wasn't so he couldn't, which meant that Kiba didn't have to feel like that so KibaYamagawathey could get better again and it would all be okay. Because if Yamagawa wasn't leaving and Kiba wasn't leaving then the brokenhurtingdaggerdying pain didn't have to happen and it would be fine.
Shaking a little more than he'd have liked, he leaned up, almost catlike lapping gentlylightlycarefully at the tears pooling below the other's eyes. He didn't want to make Yamagawa cry, he just had to get the point across that Yamagawa couldn't go. And...and even though he neverevernever wanted to make Yamagawa cry, not because of him, he...it wasn't hurting quite as much as it should have, because that fearterrrpain of Yamagawa waslking away was so much bigger than the hurting was of making Yamagawa cry. So even though he didn't want to make Yamagawa cry, it wasn't...it wasn't so bad as it should have been because...it just wasn't.
And...it felt good, stable almost, how Yamagawa's hands just wrapped around Kiba's. Almost...almost like before --sometime before-- when Yamagawa hadn't been away and had...had been there and had felt safewarmgoodthere and that's kind of maybe what it felt like, only just a little smaller, the warmth just not as much because Yamagawa was still far away, he just wasn't going away anymore. It wasn't...it wasn't quite the same, but it wasn't...it wasn't too different either...
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:06 pm
It wasn't that Zix didn't understand that this other person as angry. He understood that very well. People were often angryannoyedirritated at Zix, mainly because...well, because Zix could be annying and do annoying things and just...was annying on a general rule.
But he didn't mean to be. There was just this little teeny tiny voice in the back of his head that told him to do annoying things and hey, everything will be all right so why worry about it, ne? It wasn't like he was doing it on purpose. He was trying to be helpful, but he failed so miserably at it that he was annoyingirritating all on accident.
Which was why, with the urging of that stupid little voice that said it was okay, he leaned over and reached out, brushing the dark locks away from the angryannoyedirritated man's eyes because those dark eyes were just so pretty and they shouldn't be covered like that and besides, he was holding all those papers so possessivelyconvulsively like they would run away if he let go so he couldn't really go and push his hair away on his own, now could he? And Zix was just helping...
Of course, it did have to be noted that his hand lingered a fraction too long, before that voice shouted again saying to get back before the other could react and, like, kill him or something. Because who knew what this guy could do and what if it was something reallyreallyreally bad and he was already annoyed enough as it was at Zix so Zix should probably just...back...away...slowly so the angryannoyednothappiness wouldn't explode and even if it did he wouldn't get the full blast. Maybe. Probably.
Zix wasn't really too great at dodging things coming towards him.
But...but this guy was just so...so angry but in that 'I-hate-you-and-you-and-you-and-you' sort of way that was more childish than anything else, in Zix's opinion, at least, and it was so..cute. Not that this guy ever looked like he would appreciate being called cute, but cute was probably a better word than some of the others his mind was coming up with, and had it not been for the fact that they were in the middle of a hallway and Zix didn't know what doors led to where here --and opening the wrong doors here was a bad thing-- Zix would have already vanished the assisstant person away and done wickedwicked things to him because he was just so cute.
Besides, that irritated-at-the-world attitude was just so appealing. He was going to have to get through that, yes, because otherwise they'd never have anything together.
It never even crossed his mind that the other male might hate his guts at first sight. Zix liked him, so why would he hate Zix?
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:33 pm
Yamagawa's eyes --still teary still blurred still.. still stupiduselesshopeless-- fluttered closed at the contact, the gentlecareful lapping of Kiba's tongue on his facetears somehow.. somehow comforting, somehow alright and okay and everything will be fine because.. because Yamagawa wasn't going because Kiba said he can't go so he won'tcan't go and.. and if he didn't leave if they didn't leave didn't separate and just.. just if they were here and not anywhere else anywhere separate anywhere alone, then.. then everything will be.. okay..
"I can't go." It was nothing more than a quietquiethoarse whisper, kind of frail kind of not kind of hoping kind of promising and all of those things and more because.. because Yamagawa really couldn't. Kiba had brokenshattered all of himself all his wallsbarriersfences all of it and Kiba had put him back together, back but not quite, same but not quite because he hadn't ever felt like this before never ever and it was newish strangeish niceish feeling but it was still unsure still tethering over on the edge still not quite stable, and.. and he just had to be here because.. because Kiba had put him all back together and.. and it was Kiba and.. and Yamagawa loved Kiba and Kiba wanted his everythinganything and..
And Yamagawa wanted Kiba to have it.
Because Kiba already had Yamagawa's mindeyessoulheart anyway already, with his softgentlesomething touches and.. and his kisses and his smell and his taste and.. and just Kiba and being Kiba being himself and Yamagawa loved Kiba, so.. so he was okay with Kiba having all of himself every single thing, all of it, nothing left out and everything because there was that sortofweird feeling that told him that.. that Kiba willwould keep it safe, keep Yamagawa safe so he wouldn’t.. so Yamagawa wouldn’t have to worry about anything as long as it was Kiba because.. because it was safe with Kiba.
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Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2006 1:56 pm
This guy was annoying.
He just.. he just exuded annoyingness almost like a pulsing sort of brightbrightannoying aura sort of glow around him that was just.. just annoying and Tea hated annoying people and people with brightbright coloursaurathing --funny; his aura was annoyingthing even though.. even though the rest of him were darkblackbluegreything but it wasn't funny because it was annoying!-- and this person was annoying because a/ he was reading --sortofmaybekindof-- his reportlife'sworkprecious and b/ he was sososovery brightcolouredenergyglowthing and c/ he was.. he was..
The tanned male blinked slightly, finding his vision cleared of any annoying locks of hair --stupidthingstupidhairstupidfamily-- and the handfingers on the said hair on him and it was too close waywaywaaaaay too close and the brightannoyingglowness was annoying and the b*****d was too close and he was annoying..!
Tea had never been one to hold down his temper. Especially if it was at person whom he already marked down as being annoying and useless and.. and just really annoying. But, the assistant thought rather belatedly as the stack of papers in his hands just kind of met the side of other's face. But that was no reason to hit him with my life's work, right?. And it --the quiet reasonable logical voice; he liked logical voices-- was right.
Tea could very easily have found something heavier and deadlier. After all, this was the kind of place where they would knowingly keep heavy and sharp and deadly objects that could very possibly be fatal to a human being. But as it was, his temper got the best of his logic --a poor choice; he could really have finished this personthinguselessannoying thing off-- and it was just that stack of paper that hit the other --as of yet unknown and Tea had no interest in the slightest of ever leaving him alive for Tea to care to know-- male with a sound thwack. Because.
"Don't," Tea all but spat out, dark eyes narrowingflashingsnapping 'I'll-kill-you' sort of look and.. and just annoyedangry like the words were somehow daggers and he really did wish it was because then he could would be able to run this annoyingthingperson through and.. and that would have been the end of their encounter and end of the annoying bright glowyness and it would have been good-- "Don't. ever. touch. me."
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