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 Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:22 am
Icea stared back at Josh, not sure what to do.
He looked so serious.
She took a deep breathe and smiled.
"I love you too..." She said, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close.
She waited a minute or so before saying anything else.
"So... Are you done with your testing or what? Cause... I'd rather be back in your room then out here with all these people staring."
She looked around the room.
"It's weird..."
She kissed his neck.
"Plus... I just want to be alone with you."
She looked up at him.
"Umm... I just wanted to know if you... If you wanted to know anymore about... what I told you."
Her eyes sharpened.
"I don't want you to be afraid of me... And... It feels like you're trying to make me happy. Like you're afraid that if you don't... that I'll kill you."
Her face was emotionless, staring coldly up at him.
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:37 pm
He smiled at Icea's responce.
Noticing that this was the first time they said it - without anything happening.
He blushed some, from the kiss, and the words that were slowly whisperd against his neck.
Josh nodded, wanting to kiss her soft lips again.
As she finished telling him, that Thing.
That nonsence, he bit her lip once more, very softly.
"I'd never belivve something like that. I trust you. And about that..
Maybe we should talk about more details. But.. Not now? I need to make the whole.. Story. Go away, some. 'Kay, love?"
Josh smiled some, before taking her hand, his other hand pointing to the door.
"After you, Miss."
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:41 pm
Icea was sitting on his bed, her legs pulled up against her chest.
She didn't want to just try and forget about what happened like Josh.
She couldn't.
It was the story of her life.
She had to live with it everyday, regardless of if she wanted to or not.
Sighing deeply, she let herself fall over on her side.
"I think I'm just going to go to bed..." She muttered.
She didn't want to be held, touched, or even talked to at the moment.
It was like as long as he could forget about it... it was fine for him to be with her.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:58 pm
Josh looked over at her.
He opened his mouth as if to say something.
But he got interrupted by her, so he just shut his mouth, again.
"I was just about to ask you if you wanted to talk about it..."
He mumbled quietly.
He was standing up in the room, leaning against the wall as she layed there.
On his bed. Not even wanting him in the room - as he could understand it.
He felt awkward standing there.
He hated this.
He had done almost everything to make their relationship work.
He came back, and actually talked to her.
He showed her his friends, and opend up.
He started singing in the cafeteria.. like a silly.
Josh just felt dumb about everything he had done.
And all the romance?
Was it as he had always said?
Is love truelly just cliche?
Josh couldn't take it.
He left her to sleep in his dorm.
He didn't even mind saying trying.
"Want to be alone? Then I'll ******** leave you alone."
A deep sigh was heard, as he walked out of the dorm, and closed the door.
He walked away, to his friends dorm.
He stood outside dorm number 7, knocking.
His friend opend the door, and let him in.
That's where he spent the night.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:09 pm
[listening to while writing=She Wants Revenge-Red flags and long nights] "Whatever..." Icea muttered as he walked out the door.
"Not like I ******** said that!" She screamed at the door, hoping he could hear. "God damn it!" she said to herself. "What the hell is going on? I didn't even freakin' say I wanted him to leave! I really didn't..." She growled loudly, almost a scream.
She laid her head down on his pillow.
She lay there for a few hours, half asleep.
She shook and squirmed with fitful dreams.
The pillows smelt strongly of him.
She woke in a rush, images of Michael's face still lingering in her mind.
She wanted to cry out for Josh, but she knew he wasn't there.
Her heart was pounding in her chest, running to the door.
Oh my god... he's not in here. I know where he is. I know where he is! I have a funny feeling about Michael... I hate him. I can feel his evil. Josh, why would you go to him?!
Her hands clawed at the walls of the hallway, like there was no floor under her.
Her knees were weak, she felt sick.
She didn't know where she was going.
I have to find Michael's room... Have to find Michael. I have to find Josh!
She was holding her self up with the walls.
She thought about knocking on the door of number 13, but she didn't want to wake anyone up.
She felt crazy, she couldn't think, she just wanted to run around screaming her head off.
She didn't need anyone else to see her like this. Unsettling.
Her brain snapped back to attention. She stopped. Stood still. Frozen.
She remembered seeing a information posted at the end of the hall with names of people and their room number. She strained to picture that image again.
Michael (she couldn't picture his last name)- Dorm 7
Icea's eyes shot open, she felt like a completely different person.
She felt like a monster... like she could kill someone.
She looked to her side, at the door number. 9.
Her eyes zigzagged from door 8 to her left, to door 7 further back, to her right.
She raced over to the door with the metal number 7 hanging on it.
Her fists pounded loudly on the door. There was no answer.
"Open the ******** door, Michael! I know Josh is in there!"
She continued to knock and kick the door.
"Wake the ******** up! Michael!" She growled deep in her throat. "You ******** b*****d! Open the god damn door! ******** spineless coward!"
She froze. She thought she heard movement in the room.
She stepped back, watching the door, sure that they wouldn't let this continue and wake everyone.
Her blood was rushing through her. Her heart pounding in her ears.
She only hoped she could control herself.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:01 am
Josh stepped into Micheal's room, tears filling up his bloodshot eyes.
"Michael.." He managed to say, before he rushed into his arms.
He just cept crying, while Michael held him close.
Josh felt like a kid, but he was ******** up inside, so he didn't know what to do.
He loved Icea so much. And he hated to fight with her this much.
Michael put down Josh on his bed, and Josh got slightly worried about what was coming next.
But there was nothing to worry about.
Michael was after all his ex, so he knew that when needed - he would always be there.
Michael asked Josh quietly what was wrong, as he moved some of the hair from his face.
He opend his mouth, as if to start singing.
They both knew what was coming.
Josh always sang when he was upset, and when he was happy.
His voice was shaken, and every word he sang, was a lie.
"Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
Feels like a hundred years I.."
He sobbed, and Michael hugged him, letting him continue.
"Still can't believe you're gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me with the story of our life"
Josh's voice raised, and he cept singing.
The lies just flooding out of him.
He wanted her here. He felt s**t without her.
His life was nothing without her.
"I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much..
better now.
That you're gone forever"
His voice cracked, and Josh cried louder.
His crying was ended, by a fiercy banging on the door.
Icea's voice was heard. She was angry, frightenly angry.
'You ******** b*****d! Open the god damn door! ******** spineless coward!'
Michael's eyes got big, and he walked to the door.
He turned as if to say something to Josh, but he was no longer on the bed.
He was standing by the window.. As if to jump.
It was the 5th floor. - A seartain drop'd kill him.
Michael rushed to the window, and started screaming.
"JOSH, NO!!"
Josh whisperd very quietly.
"And now you're gone forever.."
Everything they said, was heard outside.
And Michael had opend the door.
Icea could step in.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:34 pm
[listening to while writing=Coheed and Cambria-The Light & the Glass] The door opened just enough for Icea to walk in.
She reached her hand, pushing the door to the side, while quickly walking in the room.
Icea heard Josh's quiet last words. 'And now you're gone forever...'
Her eyes tracing the image wildly, Josh standing at the window, just about to open it. Her brain started to kick in and she processed the situation.
"Josh! No... What are you doing?!" She rushed over to Josh.
He had the window open now.
She grabbed his arm tightly, she knew it was hurting him.
She pulled on his arm hard, knowing it was better to force him at the time, then try to talk him out of it.
Her body was unsteady as his collided into her.
Her arms wrapped tight around him, her body fitting into him.
She was breathing deeply.
He was breathing loudly. She could feel his heart beating against her chest.
She glared at Michael. "Don't you ever ******** touch him again!" She chocked out. Her voice was squeaky, but cold. "Don't lay a single finger on him! I'll make sure you pay for it... You don't want to ******** with me." She was pulling Josh to the door. They made their way out as quickly as they could.
Icea had managed to settle down a little. They were back in Josh's room.
She had sat him down on the bed and was eying him fiercely. She started to pace back and forth across the room. She was so aggravated. Disappointed.
"Ignoring the words of your obnoxious little brother...
Kill or be killed spilled the words of your mother."
She started singing to herself to calm down.
"I'll lay awake for a while...
I'll leave the light on a while!
But you couldn't last a life time.
Caught between here and the days of it.
Carving her name.. across your arm."
Her eyes napped back to him.
She walked over to him, her body was exhausted.
Her knees hit the floor and she put her hands on his legs, clawing at his pants.
"Allow this here before the world starts to end...
Your father's dead,
he pasted in his sleep.
And I walk.... to the sounds... of her cry."
Her head rested against his legs.
"Prey for us all...
Prey for us all..
Prey for us all." She kept repeating under her breathe.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 12:49 pm
Josh was just about to jump, tears in his eyes.
He stood by the window.
An invisible hand pushing him out, as an angry hand dragged him inside.
He was pulled in, and away from the window.
His hands were reaching for something to hold on to.
He didn't want to leave.
Just a single jump, and everything'd be over.
Icea dragged him out, and he looked into Michael's eyes.
His own eyes filled with tears by this point.
He looked empty.
Felt pointless, as he coughed for his breath.
He followed her, or rather - he didn't struggle as she pulled him away.
He got into his dorm, looking at the walls.
Feeling lost, his hands searched for something to hold onto.
Josh screamed. Loudly, as he turned down, his hands desperatly holding his ears shut.
He pulled his hair some, and fell down on his knees.
The whole scene looked slightly mental, but what to do when people break down?
'Lost in dimention, lost in pain,
I'm there prisoner of war, prisoner of life!
I'd like to tell you abour my secret and fears..
But none human words could
translate my torpors!'
He whisperd against his knees.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:31 pm
[listening to while writing=My Chemical Romance-Early Sunsets Over Monroeville]
Icea watched Josh, as he fretted with himself.
He crawled, screamed, pulled at his hair, clawed at the floor.
Icea thought she was going metal, but she wasn't so sure now.
She was back to normal again. Caring and calm.
Hardly able to watch him go on like he was, she slowly approached him, kneeling down next to him.
"Shhh... It's alright, sweetie." Her arms entangled around him, protecting him from all they possibly could.
Her lips brushed his cheek. "Running away and hiding with you...
I never thought they'd get me here.
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite...
I fought them all off...
Just to hold you close and tight."
She kissed the trailing tears on his face.
"Shhhh... please don't cry. I don't understand why you're crying. Everything is fine. You're safe. You're right here... in my arms."
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:02 pm
Josh listened to her, even though he cept screaming.
Not so loud anymore, but the screams, was mostly just loud crying.
He didn't manage to talk, his voice sobbing.
Everytime he opend his mouth, he felt like he couldn't breathe properly,
And it scared him.
Josh hadn't cried like this, in years.
He felt so empty.
He just cried, even though she held him closely.
He cried, and cried until he was emty with tears.
He stopped crying, and went empty again.
His eyes were sore, almost bleeding.
He had to ceep them half-shut, because they hurt so bad.
Josh did no longer know what happend to him.
He didn't know what to do, or say.
He couldn't even breathe.
All he hoped now, was that she wouldn't start yelling at him again.
Because he knew, that if she did. He probably wouldn't hesitate the next time he stood by a window.
He whiped his eyes from the tears,
But he almost couldn't see anything.
He saw Icea's face.
Her beautiful face.
Josh quickly turned away.
He didn't feel worthy to look at her.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:55 pm
[listening to while writing=Evanescence-Good Enough]
Icea noticed that Josh turned his face away from her. Her breathe caught in her throat.
She looked down at the floor, then decided he was just tired of crying in front of her.
Knowing that his throat was probably hurting, she leaned down and kissed his shoulder up to his throat.
"Calm down, Josh..." Her fingers found their way back to his mess of hair.
She pressed her face into his neck and softly sang, trying to sooth him. "One day you'll smile again...
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no... to you."
She was hoping it might help a little.
He didn't move much, he seemed uncomfortable.
"Are you ok... with me being close and all? Am I bothering you?"
She sighed deeply. "You don't have to answer with words... just nod or something. I know it probably hurts to talk now..."
She sat back, looking in his face. Her hands softly brushed his cheek.
"And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind...
I can't say say no... to you."
She grabbed his hand, gently running her fingers over his palm.
Silent tears were forming in her eyes, forcing their way out.
"And I'm still waiting for the rain...
To fall.
Pouring life down on me.
Cause I can't hold on...
to anything this good.
Now.
Am I good enough...
For you... to love me too?"
Her eyes searched his face. She was singing a song, but in singing those words she was questioning him. Asking him for answer.
"So take care...
what you ask of me.
Cause I can't say no..."
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:19 pm
Josh sat there, trembeling.
He was empty, numb, dead inside.
No longer knowing who he was, or who he wanted to be.
He managed to open his eyes, and whisper out a few words.
'I'm fine.'
The two words, the screaming lies made his head hurt.
He didn't want to worry her, even though he knew it was too late for that.
Josh's eyes werent watching anything.
They were blindly looking at a spot on the floor.
Josh looked at the watch.
It was after midnight..
He didn't knew what to think.
He was tired, but not enough to sleep.
The feeling of being pointless, had been bothering him all day.
He stopped thinking, as she started singing.
His eyes were shut, as he listened to her words.
Her eyes, were shining. As if she was about to cry.
He knew that, because he heard her voice trembeling.
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Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:43 pm
[listening to while writing=My Chemical Romance-Desert Song] She sighed deeply, realizing he wasn't going to reply to her questionable singing.
She felt stupid. He obviously didn't care about that right now. He was upset.
Hanging her head, she looked down at the floor.
She mumbled, "Why don't you just go lay down? ...I know you probably can't sleep, but you need to relax a little."
She felt a bit selfish for just thinking about herself.
Figuring that he would probably want to be alone and she felt bothersome to him for some reason.
She felt like she wasn't really there to him at the moment. Like she didn't exist in his mind, only he occupied his mind, he was lost right now.
She fell back on the couch, closing her eyes. Lost in her own little world.
Words raced through her head.
The rhythm of the song flowing through her veins.
'We hold in our hearts
the sword and the faith
Swelled up from the rain clouds
Move like a wraith
Well after all, we'll lie another day?
And through it all we'll find some other way
To carry on through cartilage and fluid
And did you come to stare or wash away the blood?
Well tonight, well tonight will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rockin' out
Just for the dead
Well tonight,will it ever come?
I can see you awake anytime in my head
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
Did we all fall down?
From the lights to the pavement
From the van to the floor
From backstage to the doctor
From the earth to the morgue
Morgue... Morgue... Morgue!
Well tonight, will it ever come?
Spend the rest of your days rockin' out just for the dead
Well tonight, will it ever come?
I can see you wake anytime in my head
All fall down, well after all...'
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 12:36 am
Josh crawled up into a corner, as she left.
He closed his eyes, and turned his head down.
He was just about to fall asleep as his cellphone started ringing.
He got up, just to watch the number.
It was his brother, Alex.
Josh quickly picked up the phone,
And tried talking, but his voice was almost killed.
"Alex."
'Josh! How are you?' His little brother said, happily.
"I'm fine, you?" Josh lied, once again.
'You sure don't seem fine... Listen. I was thinking about paying you a visit.
It's been 5 months since I saw you last time. And Aunt. Carin says I can!'
His brother was happy, And so was Josh.
The sound of his little brother, that was only seven years old, made him smile again.
They hung up, and decided to meet next day, at the central building.
He turned to the couch. Icea was there.
He smiled inside, not being able to help it.
She was so beautiful.
Josh layed down on his bed, staring at the wall infront of him.
He layed there for a while, til' he fell asleep.
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Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:04 am
[listening to while writing=A.F.I-Endlessly, She said] Icea couldn't sleep well on the couch.
Her back was killing her.
She tried her best to find the bed in the dark, without waking him.
Her hands ran along the side of the bed. Fingers tracing the sheets, she found Josh.
Knowing where he lay, she crawled onto the foot of the bed and squirmed into the sheets quietly.
Strangely, she noticed, she felt giddy laying next to him in the bed.
Her heart suddenly ached.
She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, hold him.
What if he woke and he didn't want her close?
She sighed deeply and settled for lightly laying her hand on his stomach.
If so much as moved she knew she'd end up pulling her arm back.
"Josh... I wish you understood how much I care about you..." She whispered.
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